Journal of a Borcan Liar

[DM Tarokka]

I woke up at the temple. I felt very confused as if I were going out from a very bad nightmare. I looked around me and there were two persons. Nobody I could recognize. I looked around me and she was not close to me. Nowhere to be seen. I stood with a few strength left, went to the priest to receice my first aid, and the other man thought to cleanse my wounds. It was clear that the ghouls had attempted to eat me, above all on my arms and my legs. Who knows why they left my corpse in the outskirts: that's where they told me to have found it.

I stepped weakly on a corner of the temple of the Morninglord to wait and think. For sure she was still there, I didn't know if alive, dead, or possibly undead, since they had been offering us to become like them. I was desperate and worried. Nothing I could do. I had promised never to come back there, pretty before they imprisoned me. Not that they respected their oath, but coming back there meant to forget their pity, if ever they had had one. Moreover I did not know actually where it was "there". I prayed to all the gods I knew. I hoped she could be left as me out of there. It was merely a chance, but I could not stop hoping in it. I realized that without her my life would have been a perfect nonsense. I resolved to attempt something suicidal if I had some proof of her death. I'm not that brave to commit suicide, I've had already many reasons in the past to attempt it. But here in this realm there are many people willing to put an end to other's lives. I was too weak and I slept leaned in that corner. I don't know if I dreamt about it, but I remember having spoken to Regno who told me he would have saved her. I would have met him again in the next days.

When I woke up, I saw Mash and Wilhelm, both looking for us. I had to explain them what happened. Mash joked about us. He told that they kept her because of her abundant flesh and fat, my skinny corpse quite useless to satisfy their innatural hunger. I yelled at him. I could have hit him if I had my strenght. Wilhelm tried to console me. After a while Nik came in the temple. He seemed concerned about myself. He applied me a bandage and cleansed again my wounds. I'm not sure of that, but I think he likes me and all that kindness was a mean to later bed me. It was not my concern. Wilhelm told him to go. After a while he came cabk with a fat corpse. I looked at it. It was Threice's. I examined it. It had the same wounds as mine. She needed immediate healings. She revived. My heart revived with her. She was confused of course. But she recognized me. However her first thought was to leave that place. I begged the pardon of the other people and got out with her. She looked around. Then cast a invisibility spell. She told me that she wanted not to be seen in that condition. I examined her. In spite of the imprisonment she had got more weigth. Another proof that was something innatural. When she was with me she did not eat so much. She was very concerned about her looking. I nodded and went to the Lady's to get a room there.

She followed me, closed the door, while I locked it. Together again. I asked her to remove her hood to kiss her. She was still weak. I told her to rest and so she did. I leaned on the bed close to her. She told me she was afraid that getting bigger, while I was getting thinner, would have been a problem also for our favourite practice. I told her not to worry because in spite of my skinny body I still had strength enough to deal with her. As a matter of fact we made love. It was as the first time and the last. It should have been always that way. The last days had shown us that we were in constant danger, in spite of our care to stay out of troubles. She asked me again to look for Regno. We would have met him later.

The following day we went walking on the Balinoks. She wanted to stay with me and I with her. Above all she wanted not to be seen by people. We always passed through the town of Vallaki and the outskirts invisible. By now we knew where our meeting points were. Generally the last of us who arrives, hugs the other tenderly and kisses her. It's our way to meeting again. I could not help thinking about our last experience imprisoned by ghouls. She was thinking about that too. She told me that maybe that was the only way to stay really eternally together. Both dead. I protested. I wanted to kiss, hug, touch her. I don't know if in an afterlife it is possible. I don't know even if an afterlife exists at all. We would have quarelled again about it later. At the temple we met Rera and asked him to look for Regno. We would have met at the Broken Bell.

There we went and I read a message while I was waiting for her to come. I had bought her a bouquet of blue roses. The blue of her eyes. Eyes I could not see as much because she shyly went on always with a hood on her head. I could not see her silly purple head either. But I could see she had really grown fatter. Looking at myself in a mirror I realized about my skeleton-like physical built. That should have been stopped as soon as possible. Or things could worsen even more.

[DM Tarokka]

I'm becoming less and less skilled as a liar. Maybe it is because I'm always with her and I cannot help not to be honest to her. As a matter of fact, at the moment I had to lie for her because she wanted not to be recognized. It was difficult to do so. She wears a large robe, extralarge as her body has unfortunately become, and she always wears a hood. It is very hard to associate mentally this kind of figure with that people of Vallaki were used to see. I would be able to recognize her in a crowd of hundreds of people, but it's another matter. I constantly had to make up some stories trying to pretend she was someone else. I usually look at her, when she shakes her head it means she doesn't want to be recognized.

However Mark recognized her. He spoke to us. He told that what's was happening to us, and called us silly girls, was because of Zakhata. Though we already had realized that this so-called transformation had begun the day after our marriage, we refused to think about that. Zakhata blessed us and joined us eternally. We told Mark that we would have been better soon. I was lying to myself more than to him. To Rera I told she was a "he", a singer who had lost his voice because of a curse. Rera pointed at her breasts and I quietly told him that he was well built and those were only muscles. I'm really getting worse at lying. Once it was one of my best arts. Eventually we told to Rera the truth because we needed him to find Regno for us.

We went to wait at the Broken Bell since it seemed that this fat version of Threice attracted more and more curious people. This fact depressed her even more. As a matter of fact in our room at the Inn we quarelled again. She repeated again how bad she felt and how our marriage was not going as she had dreamt. But she hugged me and kissed me, while we were laying on the bed. She always cared not to press me too much, she was scared to harm me even in "those" moments.  She did not want to leave me. She wanted only to stay with me in a better way. I understood that only later. But at first she told a sentence that made me stand up, prepare myself and almost go away slamming angrily the door behind me. But Regno was there at the door. Rera had found him for us and the innkeeper, being tipped by me, informed him in which room we were. He needed not to knock since I opened the door. That was not the moment to go away though.

He asked me where Threice was. I sighed and closed the door again. I told her to remove her hood and make him recognize her. He started at seeing her. Frowned. He began to speak about Zakhata's believers not allowed to grow fat, but I stopped as soon as I could to explain the situation. He was concerned about me too. He told me I was taking very seriously my services. I sighed. I did not choose to starve that way. He looked again to Threice and asked her to undress, waving his incense thorughout the whole room. She shook her head. I asked her politely telling her that if he could ever help he would have had to examine her. At seeing her naked and fat body he started again and touched his chin thougthfully. He told us he had to speak with his god to better undestand the matter. He was about to go away again. I stopped him and whispered some words. I asked to stop the process, even if for only a little while. I also told him to care more about Threice since she is the one of us who is suffering more of the situation. In truth, I feel weak, I'm not that fine, my muscles have almost disappeared in spit of years and years of training. But I want her to feel better, my health can wait.

Regno did not agree and cast some spells on me. I felt better indeed. I watched myself at the mirror and actually it seemed that my pale complexion had gone away and I really felt again my strength. He told me that as far as Threice was concerned it would have been a little more complicated and painful. She was lying on the bed, half naked, and could not listen to us. He explained me what I had to do. He gave me a knife, some meat, a cup, a healer's kit and a bottle of holy water. He told me I had to find a fire agathe to perform that ritual. I already knew where I could find that "shiny" stone. He told me step by step what I was to do. I listened carefully not to lose a single word. I didn't want to fail the ritual. I frowned and looked at Threice. After some minutes he was off again, looking for some anwers to our situation. I spoke to Threice, then.

I wanted to assure her I loved her so much and never meant her any harm. I asked if I ever harmed her and she shook her head. I told her that I was about to perform a ritual which coul be a little painful but maybe more for me than for her. She shivered and nodded. She was ready. I nodded and went to the table where Regno had left all the things. Before I began, though, I asked her if she happened to have a fire agathe among all her shiny things. She nodded, looked for it in her bag and handed it to me. I thanked and told her that I was going to prepare the whole thing.

I told as Regno had taught me. I put the knife in the piece of meat he had given me. Then I had to rub the knife with the fire agathe. So I did. Threice watched me quite confused. I went to her and asked her to undress again. I told her to get a piece of cloth and put it in her mouth: if it had been too painful she had to bite the cloth and close her eyes. I approached again to her with the knife in my hand. I trembled a bit but I knew I had to be calm to make her feel less pain. I cut away a piece of flesh from her hip. I was quick and precise. She almost cried for the pain, but she did not. I poured the blood in the cup Regno had given me and I put it on the table, where I put also the knife and the piece of Threice's flesh.

I looked at her. In my mind I thought about all that she had told me. About people pretending to be nice and then hurting and harming her. I felt guilty, though I knew it was for a better cause. I got the holy water and the healer's kit and smiled to her. I cleansed the wound with the water and eventually I bandaged it. I told her she could dress again. I went to the table. Now it began the worst part of it. I closed my eyes. I felt no hunger. And I did not mean to eat parts of here. But so I did while she was watching me. I felt strange. I was having her in a different way. She would have been within my body, joined even more than before. I could not help thinking I harmed her though. After some minutes I ended my queer meal. I polished some blood on my mouth and sighed. I approached again at the bed. She seemed to feel better. She asked me if she was good, and maybe next time I could have had also a glass of red Barovian wine to accompany her flesh. I was puzzled. I did not understand at first. Then I did. She was joking. Again. After many days of depressing mood. The ritual had worked somehow. I caressed her taking care of the wound I had inflicted her. She felt better. I felt better. We played with the whip as we used to do in the previous weeks. And then we slept together. She asked me if we would have repeated that experience. I nodded.

We went for a walk in the southern woods. Before we left, though, I told her one of my stories, about a Vistani chased by an assassin who asked for the help of me and other adventureres. I was in Borca then. I explained her that I did not like Vistani, but they seemed to know many things. I expressed my feeling that we could ask something to them while Regno was looking for a solution. Better not to wait. I told her that possibly Vistani could have asked us for a payment, not in fangs or gems, maybe something very dangerous to perform on their account. Threice nodded. As the day come we would have gone looking for the wise and dangerous Vistani knowledge.

We met at one of our reknown meeting points. We found ourselves in a strange groove, full of elves and pixies. I was confused. Narrow-minded Barovia was not the place for a so peaceful and exotic surrounding. There was a kind of inn. It was night. We thought we could have a look. We met a strange woman, Singer was her name. She was extremely kind with us. She asked if Threice was pregnant. I replied she was and we went on speaking about the fact that this was the best period to have a child. My lies worked better this time. The woman was huge. Only later I realized she was a caliban, but not of the kind who hurted me many days before. She invited us to share meat with her in the wood. I thought it was impolite to refuse and we went with her. She entertained us with a story. A story of painful love which ended with death. Threice was nervous. She whispered at my ear telling me it was too similar to our story. She felt so nervous she wanted to go. But I wanted to listen to the whole story. I let her go. I have learnt when I have to let her go, she needs me, it's true, but sometimes she need also to be on her own. I learnt she knows how to flee from dangers. I kept on listening to Singer. She seemed extremely wise. I had almost the desire to tell her my story and look for her advise about our curse, but I didn't. I had to know her slightly better. She showed me a carving in a tree which was the proof of the story she had told me. I sighed. She understood. I did not say a word about my relationship with Threice, but she understood. But we did not talk about it more than that. We greeted and I went again to Threice.

Dawn again. A good story makes the time pass by sooner. Unfortunately the story was sad as well. I am determined not to end mine, our story, so badly. We'll wait for Regno's wise words. We'll look for Vistani's advise. We'll do everything we can to feel better. And, most important of all, we'll do it together.

[DM Tarokka]

We decided to leave then for the Tser Camp in the whereabouts of Barovia. Threice was not fully persuaded it could be a good idea to leave Vallaki again, though she hated mostly that town at the moment. She seemed to realize that maybe no one would help us but Regno, who always knew where he could find us. I also dreamt -or was it true?- that he raised us again. Vallaki could not help us. Moreover, just going out from the Broken Bell I found another newsletter of Gundkarite rebels. I read it quickly. It seemed that another act of terrorism was in the air. Just a cause more to leave Vallaki in that moment.

She was not in a bad mood. We needed a rest halfway. Our physics seemed not to be able to bear all the journey in a one-shot. We stopped at Midway Heaven, and there we entered in the Observatory. I asked her if anyone would ever mind we went there so often. I figured also that if we didn't make troubles, such as being noisy or ruining the furniture, no one would. We went in the bath house. We undressed ourselves and entered in the pool. It is probably a pain seeing us reduced at this point. She is growing day after day and the only robe she can wear is a very large one, while I'm almost fading away with my bones now clearly visible. She told me that since this change began to happen she had never watched herself in a mirror. I did. I had watched the both of us. A sight which was painful above all if I think we were such perfect only some weeks ago, shiniy happy together.

She looked at me and frowned. She told me we should have found a cure first for me. It was the first time she was going to tell me this, and she would have repeated it ever since. Maybe I'm the one who is bearing this fact better at a mental level, but actually I feel weak day after day. I tried to lie to her saying I was fine. But my lies with her do not work, as usual. She seemed to realize she had to exploit at best every single moment she was with me, as if it were the last. She told me about the day in which she opened her eyes and frowned and worried because I was not in the bed close to her. However I was on a desk in the same room. I was writing this journal. I told her about my wiriting, and why and what I'm wwiting on it. I told her I need to keep tracks of my memories and to re-read what I've done because I'm sometimes prone to act not rationally and I must reflect, at least later, about what I've done.

I also told her I wrote many pages on her in this journal. She became curious and wanted to read. There are no lies in it. There is me and my inner naked self. She's not a great reader, she always complains about too bookish people. She wants to know me better, and maybe read what I think of her. Eventually we played in the water splashing to ourselves, and we kissed and hugged and more. Eventually we decided our pause has been enough and we left again. It was night. We are enough wise to know about the dangers of that part of the realm during night, but not really enough to avoid to travel. As a matter of fact we were attacked by a group of bodaks. I just had the time to shout at her to run and I died. Once again. She died too.

***

We woke up at the Temple of the Coming Down in the slums of Vallaki. At first I did not realize where we were. Then I recognize Mash and a hooded woman. Mash talked to her about a payment. I suspected she was the one who raised us. My suspect would have been confirmed only later that day. Threice got nervous and told us she would have been waiting just outside the building. I spoke with the other two. Lady Miranda, that was the name of the woman, seemed concerned about our situation. I was still a bit confused and the privacy I wanted to keep on that subject was spoiled away. I spoke of a possible curse. Mash watched us always with an ironic smile, maybe he was joying and laughing within himself about what was happening to Threice and me. Anyway he was the one who always kept on helping us. I persuaded him to come with us to Barovia, again, to look for Vistani wisdom. Miranda told us she would have joined. We went out.

Threice was speaking to Alex. I remember the first times I came here in Vallaki. Alex was one of the people whom I spoke more. His attitude has always seemed strange to me. He was the one who did advise me not to work for Threice and the same one who almost rechoiced when he discovered I entered the Vallaki guard. I've always thought he was concerned about me, don't ask me why. Yet his behaviour on us was not that kind. He joined us for a part of the journey. He kept on asking questions. Threice was nervous. She complained about the fact I was inviting everyone in our travel. I was doing so because the journey had demonstrated too dangerous for us and moreover, more people coul help us, maybe sooner we could have found a solution. Alex was rather questioning. He asked me about my relationship with Threice. I dismissed him with a simply "we're close friends". He asked me about my job. I answered I applied for a job at the Broken Bell. I don't know if he was joking, but he supposed I was going to work as a waitress.

I sighed and almost yelled at him, but I kept myself calm. I have had a former wealthy life, here in Vallaki am only one in a million. Nevertheless I'm not considering myself as a common girl, an ignorant and dull Barovian woman, I've received an avarage education in Borca which is kind of being a clever intellectual here in Barovia. My manners and my skills are not that of a waitress. He further said that maybe so reduced, pointing at my skinny body, I could not work as a waitress either. I suspected he deliberately wanted to offend me. He was lucky that a walk druing the Barovian nights was not the place to me to react rudely. Lady Miranda was most of the time silent. She acted strangely. She proclaimed to be a midwife, but it was evident she was not simply that. I could confirm this seeing how she dealt with bodaks. Threice was most of the time invisible, and only seldom I could feel a hug or some words in my hear to know that she was still with us.

It was definitely a strange trip. We arrived at the Vistani camp. Miranda and Mash waited for us some metres behind. Alex left us in the whereabouts of MIdway. Better for him perhaps. Especially if he intended to going on at teasing me. Threice would have later revealed to me they had been together long ago. Maybe he was jealous of us, who knows. I told here, instead, of what he told me about her months ago.

The Vistani camp spreaded in front of us. I approached hoping that Threice were with me though I could not see her. A Vistani came to us and spoke in his strange way. I was as straight and direct as possible, though  always keeping myself poilte and reverent to those people. I knew both Barovian rules and the strange ways of Vistani. To know does not mean to understand though. As a matter of fact he held our hands and became thoughtful. He did not say openly he would have aided us. In spite of that he did not say he would not help either. He mocked at my words most of the time. A Vistani girl shouted "You will die". I shivered. Maybe it was a voice in my head. I asked him. He told me that eventually everyone dies. Threice was very nervous. I could see in her eyes how much she disliked that people. I don't love them either, but I know they might help if they want, so it was not the case to quarrel with them. The man told us to come back there in a week time and then told us to leave. I shrugged. I did not understand if he was going to help us. Maybe he wanted to see if I were still alive after a week, reduced as I am slowly fading away.

Threice was furious instead. She sat beside the others and on the bench of the pond. I sat close to her. She argued that nobody would have helped us, not the Vistani for sure. I tried to console her. I had dealt with Vistani once in my life and I knew they never speak openly. We had just to wait. Threice complained that our trip had been useless. Lady Miranda approached us. She wanted to help. Her help would have been given to those who knew the "arts". I did not realize at first what she meant. I only knew I -was- an artist. Once in the village, afet having faced the attack of powerful were-wolves who almost dispatched of us all, she dismissed Mash telling him to wait for us at the inn. And she led us in a strange house.

Her ways were most strange. After our meeting I realized that her attitude at the end was not so different from many other Barovians (or Outlanders who felt themselves almost Barovians) I met. No one is going to help freely. Everyone wants to charge you with something. That would have been the same way even with Vistani. I did not suspect at first that Miranda was of that sort too. She showed us a series of secret passages under an abandoned house. We arrived in front of a statue. She told us we were to speak tih the statue to pass a sort of test. Threice mumbled on herself and began. After many minutes she disappeared. Miranda nodded. It was my turn. The statue spoke in my mind. The questions were silly enough. It asked me to be honest. I was. And I failed the test. I asked to repeat my test to Miranda. I would have lied. There's no good in telling the truth and this fact demonstrated to me this thing once more. Miranda begged my pardon and told me that I was unworthy and I would have waited for them just there.

I was angry. I'm used to fail, but not so often as it is happening here in Barovia. Moreover I had been separated from Threice. I had to wait for a long time. Or maybe it seemed to me a long, while actually only a few minutes had passed. After a while I felt the hug of Threice. I stood and followed them outside the house. I did not tell a single word. She tried to speak to me. I was too furious for what had just happened. We moved to the Blood o' the Vine. There she succeded in calming me. I wanted her to be helped by those "artists". She replied she had asked for their help only if they helped me first. It seemed that finally she understood that while she was the one who was becoming less attractive I was the one who was fagind away, skins and bones by now the only clearly visible parts of my body.

I was in a bad temper and she calmed me. This was a new situation. Always it happened quite the opposite. We lived for each other by now and would have died together, though I always repeat to her that I would sacrifice myself to her. Our marriage has not been happy up to this moment, it has not been what we had fancied. In spite of this we have had some gilmpses of happines, some brief moments, and I'm sure we will have more, in which we realized that the effort was worthy of the prize. And the prize is being together.

She'll read what I'm writing, now she's sleeping. We made love again, now we are resting close to each other. We'll keep on our quest to regain, or at least to stop, this change we are suffering in our bodies. Meanwhile we'll try to be as close as possible, only ourselves what it matters now. For both.

[DM Tarokka]

I was angry with her again. The problem with the curse is beginning to keep me nervous most of the time. As I already wrote elsewhere here in this journal, I've learnt to let her go alone sometimes even if she goes in dangerous places. It seems she needs it, to be on her own, in spite of the fact she sometimes seems the girl who needs all the attention focused on herself. Especially in this period she has grown fat she wants to be alone more than before. But that is no good, because I always fear something may happen to her.

On the other hand I'm beginning to feel worse, as if my same physical structure were collapsing on itself. Nevertheless I looked for her for two days there in Barovia, checking our usual meetpoints and places she likes to go. Nothing. I was worried and my bones were aching. I resolved to go to Vistani at Tser camp again. A week had passed. If they knew or could do something they would have told it to me. They had already seen her. They did not let me in this time in the camp. They simply told me I had to go to the camp near Vallaki. I sighed. Luckily I still had a potion to pass the Mist. It was a long way. I came back to the Blood and asked again for her. Nothing again. I left her a message. I would have left soon because I was worried of the dark which would have come on me and the land in the next few hours.

I ran. It hurt. I removed my armor. That meant it would have been more dangerous if someone caught me, but it was an unbearable pain to wear it. In a few hours I reached Midway. I remembered what Alex told once told me. There was a ferry to Vallaki in the whereabouts. I looked for and found it. In a few hours I would have been in Vallaki. I had heard rumors about the lake I was travelling on. They were nihtmarish tales about fishermen simply disappearing caught by monstruoisities popping up from the depths of it. Legends always share a bit of truth, especially here in Barovia. People are well superstitious here, but they are sometimes right on their fears.

Yet, I reached Vallaki unharmed and well rested, because I did not walk for a long time. Once in the docks, I began my walk to the other Vistani camp. I was hoping to meet Threice, but i did not have time to look for her at all the meetingpoints we had. In only checked at the Lady's and at the temple of the Morninglord there in the outskirts, and even in the back of the temple itself. Nothing even there. I worried more, but the pain within my body at that moment did not allow me to think clearly. It seemed as if also my skull were pressing on my brain. I was angry and worried. Maybe my end was approaching. And in spite of what she protested, I was going to collapse who knows where, but for sure alone.

I reached the Vistani camp with some effort. I had to repeat the story again. And, as usual, Vistani answered me in their strange sentences. In spite of that they allowed me to see Madame Keja in her vardo. She asked me if I wanted a card reading. I shook my head. I replied her I had a problem, and that problem was clearly visible is she simply had a look at me. I explained her I was not alone in this problem and it seemed somehow linked to the fate of another person. The madame told me to fetch her the other person. I sighed, greeted and went out. Now I was very angry. Where the hell should I find her? I felt time's paces behind me while my body was growing weaker and weaker to go further. I came back to the skirts. I would have asked people. I feared it could be a nonsense since she usually goes invisible because she doesn't want people to see her that fat.

There were many people out of the Lady's. I saw her, with her huge physical structure. I tipped her violently on the shoulder and I heard a crack. I shouted. The crack had come from my hand. It had broken. All of a sudden. Not using a weapon or receiving a blow by an enemy. Simply tipping on Threice's shoulder. It was getting definitely worse. I told her to follow me, there were important matters to deal with. I did not want other people know about what we were in at that moment. She followed an naively wanted to kiss me. I shrugged and kept on back to the Vistani camp. Just before entering it I stopped and yelled at her. Again. I told her she had been stupid and silly to leave to Vallaki without a word or a message left for me in Barovia. If she had really cared for me, if she had really loved me, she would have behaved differently. Moreover, we were both getting worse and it was not safe to go alone, especially now. I told her also that maybe she was lying because always she protested not to like Vallaki but at the end she always came back there. She did not reply, or attempted to. She simply told me she was terribly hungry and was looking crazily for something to eat and ended in Vallaki. I had, better, we had no time for that nonsense. We approached Madame Keja's vardo again. A Vistani man told us she was waiting for us.

She examined again us. She simply told us a solution could be found, but we had to choose by ourselves. She required also a payment. Just to speak to us the choices. She asked for some thousand fangs and the most precious thing we were possessing. I could see Threice getting her teddy and touch it frantically. I already saw her do so when we were imprisoned by ghouls. It meant a lot for her. I thought about the gifts she made me. Those were my most precious things. Madame Keja seemed to read in our mind because she told she did not want anything economically valuable, but something which we reputed valuable for ourselves. The fangs would have done fine for the economic aspect already. I could not move well. I felt my bones weakly cracking at every step I made. Threice told she would have gone alone. I advised her to cas on herself the spells to quicken her pace and to be not visible to others. She nodded. I felt less anger on her. I told her I loved her. She replied in the same way. She went. I sat on a bank looking on the pond and mumbling and watching in front of me. A man approached me. He spoke of some nonsense about a god called Helm. Another Outlander looking for his way home. Not my concern. Anyway he told he was a paladin and seeing me in pain, holding my broken hand with the other one, he healed me. I knew it was going to be temporary. He even bandaged me. My pain was a bit relieved. I thought it was just a question of time and some other bone would have cracked. My end was approaching.

The minutes that passed seemed eternity. At last she came back, eating frantically. The situation was worsening even for her. And I had just yelled at her. I felt guilty. I greeted the man telling him I was hoping to meet him again in a better moment. We stepped in Madame Keja's vardo again. We sat. Threice asked if she could get a piece of cheese. I had one at my first entering there and eating it was almost painful as was to walk. It was a questione of time and my bones would not have held me any more. The madame asked for her fangs and the objects. Threice handed her her teddy. She told me it was the last thing she had from where she came. In the last days she attempted to tell me about her past before coming in Barovia. She told me that only Krystal could remember, but she was dead by now. That teddy was her last link with her past. And that link was about to be broken. I handed to the madame two objects telling her they were both my most precious thing, since they were gifts by the person I loved. Keja smiled at us uneasily and got the objects. Maybe she thought we would have handed her our rings. But our rings at the moment were not only the symbol of our love, but also of our pain since it was from when we were wearing them that our misfortune had begun.

And finally she spoke. And her words were daggers to our ears. She explained us about the Zakhata matter. The devourer and the provider. We were incarnating those two aspects to fulfill the will of our god, of the god who joined us. This meant that we had only two possible choices, she called them paths, laying ahead of us. The first one was keeping our path together and finally being finished by oursleves. The devourer would have eaten all the provider could give and finally end their lives together. That meant our death. Until death parts us. The second path would have been one we walked alone. I looked at Threice uneasily still holding my aching hand. She began to question the madame. She wanted to find a third way probably. I well understood that she had not granted us a third choice. As a Borcan I'm used to look for a bargain at every occasion. Threice attempted to bargain herself. She said we could end our marriage but keeping on loving us. Keja looked at us simply replying that curses are not so easily fooled. I told her that though I loved her more than myself that was really the problem: how could I simply stop loving her to save her? Threice looked at me uneasily. For her it was the same. The madame hurried us in our choice. She told us that if we had chosen the first path or the second, the only thing she would be able to do was to invert the process, I becoming the devourer and Threice the provider. I asked if that process could be made again, hopefully. She shook her head. I thought that this would have only delayed our death a bit.

It was my time to speak. I told Keja I was going through my path with Threice. My love nodded at me. We were ready. We had only lost money, precious things and our last time together. We were by now resigned to walk proudly towards our final end. Together. To be together also in afterlife. Keja told us strange things. About love. About eternal love. She tried to persuade us to choose the other path. We shook our heads together, as together we were going to die. Keja realased herself with a weak smile. She told us we had just proven her our love was true. That we were ready to die to be with each other. That what linked our souls and hearts was not simply something decreed by a god. And she told also us about the beast who had been watching us while we were finally celebrating our marriage. Its curse was something she was able to deal with quite easily. We had proved her we were not simply silly young girls fancying about eternal love. We were seriously dealing with our eternal love in spit of everything and everyone.

She asked us to remove our wedding rings. I did it quite easily, but Threice's finger had grown on the finger and it was not easy. I tried to help her with my last strength. I was decaying, there was no time. I pulled the ring  but it stuck on the middle of the finger. She cried in pain. I heard a crack in my good arm. I took some holy water to make the ring go out less hardly and I pulled again with all my strength. Love gave me enough. Maybe too much. The finger came with the ring. My arm broke in more points and became quite useless. For the pain I jumped back and crashed against Keja's desk. I could feel some vertebrae breaking as well. I screamed in pain. Threice helped me to sit again on the chair. I could not feel very well my legs, I could move them but I felt very weak. And the pain was almost unbearable. Keja took the rings. She pronounced words in a strange language putting them on a magical fire. She aked us to get them again. They were bruning. I could feel my flesh burning around the ring. Threice could feel it too, since she mechaniccally left the ring fall the first time she got it. Keja asked us to wear them again. It was painful. Threice was puzzled watching her missing finger. Keja almost laughing told her she had another hand. We wore them again. And suddenly they went to dust. A black spot reamined where the rings used to be. Keja told us that by now no god was joining us, but only our eternal love. I could not help to smile a bit, in spite of all the pain I was having.

She told us to leave her now. I leaned to Threice for help. She was getting better. Maybe in a week she would have been fit again. We went for a priest to heal me. I was not able to walk by myself properly. But my love was at my side helping me. The priest would have helped me, but he said I needed rest as well. Threice should have been looking for someone helping her with her finger. We went to the Lady's. We needed rest. And we needed to be alone. We rejoice in spit of the physical pain. She told me we would have been finer again and been the envy of all the people. We were going to come back perfect as we used to be. We shared our love again and we kissed. I'm too tired at the moment. I have to write more about this in my journal. Only one thing is sure. Our love could kill us, but it saved us as well. I love her and she loves me. That's the only important thing. We'll love each other until eternity. And we'll always fight to the end to protect it.

[DM Tarokka]

I woke up at the Lady's. I think I had been sleeping for a couple of days, waking up only to have some rations and leaning again on the bed to recover myself. She was not the whole time with me though. Maybe she was looking for someone to have her finger fixed. At the end of my recovering days, however, I went down the Inn and out in the outskirts. There I met Wilhelm who was bodyguarding lady Isabella as usual. We talked a bit. He assured me Threice was fine. He told me also they went down the crypts. I sighed. I still feared that place. They were alive and fine, I would not have reproached her at all. I was not in the mood.

I told the others I was moving to the Broken Bell in order to see if there were news for my application. I proposed to the others to join. Lady Isabella told us she would have gone to the Blue Water. Her reason was quite right. In a place where everything costs much more, you can find less troublemakers. I always thought the Broken Bell a right mid way in this. Anyway, at the Lady's I had been assaulted twice, but I had my problems also in the Blue Inn when the Bane of Borca almost killed Threice, Jacob and me roasting us with a fire bomb. I told that without entering the details. Lady Isabella, though, showed to be a bit snobbish. I think I can become as her in the future, because I already don't like most of the people who are in Vallaki.

We moved. Wilhelm wanted to come with me, but of course he had to escort Isabella first. Eventually he joined me and we talked a lot. I told him about what happened to Threice and me at the Vistani camp. He told me he had seen a great deal of change in Thriece, in better in his opinion. I lifted the veil of lies on my account. I think I can trust Wilhelm, because he has always shown to be caring for both of us, and possibly with no second intentions. I explained him why, in my opinion too, she was getting better in her behaviour. It was probably because of me, and, of course, because she is far more clever than most people think. I'm a Borcan and I wanted a bargain for my information, though. Unfortunately Wilhelm was very tired and would have had a rest. I know I'll speak to him later. I want to know more about him too.

On my way back to the Lady's, I felt tipping on my shoulder. I started at first, then I recognized her voice. We whispered a bit, smiling and happy. When I finally was able to look at her I quickly kissed her. I was shiny happy and her too. But something was going to happen to ruin partially our renewed happines. We met Rainn. He asked for a private talk with both of us. There was also Eawin there. He was the elf whom Threice went with when she had to flee from Rainn himself attempting to harm her. He did not want us to go to Rainn. I replied there was nothing to worry about. As a matter of fact, eventuallt Eawin intruded in our room and began to behave very strangely. Well, he already seems to speak to himself now and then and this is not normal. Intruding in a room with three people inside, trying to burn a bed, waving his weapons around, checking for something to kill, calling a sort of beats with multiple eyes to come to him and, at the end, behave as if it had not happened anything made him even odder at my eyes. The fact that it seems he locked us in the room very strange indeed.

Rainn's behaviour, though, was more worrying. He asked plainly to bed both of us. Then he began to offend Threice and me. He knew how to make Threice sad, simply telling her she had become ugly. Especially since she was with me. I must confess, and I told her this later too, in a different moment I would have accepted Rainn's proposal. But after the events of the last days it was nothing bearable with our eternal love. He spoke nonsense sometimes. He told that someone suggested him to kidnap Threice. He did not seem aggressive on our account. But I could see a bit of anger and a lot of sadness in his eyes. I stole her to him, it was quite normal how she felt about me. He loved her, it was quite normal he wanted to harm her now that she wasn't his own any more. I kept my calm. Threice answered to him at tone. Eventually she would have assured me on many things. The experience with the curse and with the Vistani had changed her quite a lot, especially on what concerned me and our love. Not changed, let's say strengthened.

When finally we were able to go out that room, we headed to Village Barovia and spoke a lot during our journey. I could test my recovering left arm but still I wasn't able to wield two handed weapons. We agreed that Vallaki was no more a place for us. We seemed to attract very odd people, most of them disliking us. Rainn told us that people do not like Threice because of me, I ruin her beauty in his opinion. She got this as a nonsense. Going out from the Lady's I could have glimpses of conversations. Talking about us. I must think that people are really bored if they care so much of troubling two poor girls who love each other.

We're In Village Barovia at the moment. We're still tired from the trip and the last days. I am writing but she is calling for me at the moment. I thought she was sleeping, but actually she is awake. While I'm wiriting she's telling me that there are a lot of things we could not do while we were cursed and especially one we did not do since we had been finally fixed. Needless to say, I'm closing the journal and go with her. I missed her. I love her.

[DM Tarokka]

My left arm is recovering quite well. Today she told me that I've become quite good with my weapon. We have taken back the control of our lives again. She repeats to me that nothing is going to stop us to be the most perfect couple in Barovia. I'm quite worried about that, though. People are jealous and sooner or later someone could try to dispatch of one of us, or both, only for the sake of damaging us. We'll be ready to face who wants to harm us anyway.

We met Rera and Regno just outside the temple here in Barovia. Even Rera, when questioned, did not what to reply when I asked him if he considered us cute. Threice is making me more self-The red priest blessed us and we gladly accepted his bless. However, we have not yet told him about how we were lifted by our curse. I talked to Threice briefly about that. I'm sure it's not a good idea he knows. He will probably know sooner or later, but at this moment it is not safe to involve directly Zakhata in our lives. I still believe that god is the one who is suit for my behaviour, my way of living my life. Nevertheless, we have been joined in his name and we were clearly directed towards a quick death too. We would have been together. But dead.

I'm just waiting for her to awake again. Regno says he must awake people when he is going to raise them. He helped us a lot of times. But this time Regno wanted to burn her. I managed to avoid that thrwoing myself on her body. Suddenly he seemed to change his mind, though he at first wanted to burn me too. I don't think I will ever understand his ways fully. I don't think I will ever manage to understand how people and why come back to life from the death. Maybe it's better I don't know.

She's waking up now... I will continue to write later.

[DM Tarokka]

We went adventuring just a little after she had recovered. The Barovian night, though, was too hard for us this time. We had had a very good time since our curse had been lifted, and maybe we were just overestimating our actual strength. As a matter of fact we risked our lives many times since that moment, and very often in a clearly silly way. But we wanted to move, to feel alive, to fight for fighting's sake. We also passed very good time in our bed at the Blood. Simply we had to do something more, there, we alone and together, to improve ourselves in order to better defend ourselves from envious people.

Anyway, this time it was very hard. A pack of huge werewolves attacked us in the forest eastern of the Village. I could only hear her death cry and I attempted to go to her. My efforts were useless and my military discipline guided me for once. I have always been lacking of a full military education. Being a guard in Borca is not the same as in other places. I was more a legalized thief and the discipline served to me only as a covering for getting money from people. The weeks in Vallaki guards, all the training and the suggestions I received, worked definitely better. As Corporal Zarovan used to tell me often, I should have learnt when it was the moment to run away. And so I did.

I hided myself maybe one mile away from that place, trying to get in my mind where it exactly was. I had to get again her body and try to avoid werewolves eating her. In my path I left some fresh meat I got from deers and boars long the way. I could feel them following me. I brought them away. I had only to wait for the dawn in order to come back to rescue her. I was alone. I was worried. I hoped that what I thought was right. I had just to wait. And those minutes seemed drops of eternity. When finally I saw the sun slowly fight his way among the rainy clouds I sighed relieved. I came back. She was there. Still. Pale. A corpse. I sighed again and got her on my shoulder.

Again I waited for her to wake up again. I told her she needed a full recovery and there was no way we went elsewhere from our bedroom at the Inn. She nodded and grabbed my hand intermingling her fingers with mine. I smiled. Her finger has grown again. I would have asked her how. We loved each other in our room, but I had to make her pass the time without boring and without further weakness. I sang her a song. Which somehow spoke about our recent past days.

I got my lute and began playing a slow and soft tune. Then I began to sing. "Ain't funny how we pretend we're still a child/ softly stolen under the blanket skies". I thought about our recent silliness and especially my behaviour on her. Recently I have been pretending to be the serviceable and loyal bodyguard and always call her "my lady". She smiles at me. And she kisses me asking to stop. And I always reply "yes, my lady". I like to play childishly with her, we are still little innocent children somehow. I fastened the rhythm "And rescue me from me and all that I believe". Our mutual rescuing came at my mind and I frowned a bit, but kept on singing. "I won't deny the pain, I won't deny the change, and should I fall from grace will you leave me too?". These words were daggers to my heart. We had suffered terrible pains and maybe more will be put on us, and we have changed a lot together, in better I hope. I played mechanically the lute in a part which was only instrumental and I was actually mumbling to myself.

I had already fallen from grace once, no one could promise me it would not have happened again. Last time I was all alone in my fall, betrayed even by friends and companions in arms. Now I'm with her. She'll be with me. She promised me. She had shown how much she loves me. My eyes were closed. I was thinking about my life which seemed to pass in a moment throughout my mind and my heart. I began again to sing. My voice was loud and fast now. "Too late to turn to turn back now, I'm running out of sound/ and I'm changing, changing/ and if we died right now, this fool you loved somehow/ is here with you". That already happened. Or sort of. We are too late to turn back now after all we have passed together. I'm probably a fool but she loves me. She is my silly purple head and I love her more than myself. I faded to the end repeating "I won't deny the pain and I won't deny the change".

She smiled at me. Maybe she understood the actual meaning of my song. I beg her pardon for knowing only sad songs. But she smiled. She felt my heart close to hers. We made love again. And finally we slept together in our bed as if we were only one body.

[DM Tarokka]

It happened again. Now I felt really worried about that. Even when she was fat and I skinny it did not happen so often. The fact it is becoming a sad routine does not change that every time I am badly worried about her conditions. Regno would say she is sleeping. What I say is that everytime I see her body deprived of her soul and falling, only when a priest pronounces his strange words I can be really sure she has come back again. To me. And every time I'm worried it's the last time I see her, and the very first too.

I had to run also this time, the principle to escape a fight when you know you cannot win has worked once again. Maybe it is the only very good lesson I have learnt since I'm here in this realm. It's not a matter of being coward, but to be wise. Had I run away more times in my first days here, probably less scars along my body I would have. I have been bloody lucky up to this moment. Scars are memories just as this journal I'm writing. If I can still watch my scars and write this, it means that I'm still alive.

The huge skeletons were around her body. My blows seemed only to scratch them. She fell quite easily and quickly. While I was running I could feel their weapons on my back hitting me and it was a terrible pain. The physical pain was nothing compared to that of my heart at leaving her down there. I had to recover myself before of coming in there. The priest of the Morninglord offered his help and it was, as usual, really appreciated. Nevertheless I had to find a way back to the crypts, to get her body, trying to avoid to get killed myself too. I needed to skip those skeleton warriors, there was no way I could defeat them. Before to go I had a look at the scrolls she usually kept giving me. Two of them might have been of use. I reached the crypt again. I read them both and I felt quicker in my movements and a dire badger appeared close to me. The beast would have distracted the skeletons while I could concern only about her body. I'm not able as she is to make myself invisible, I had to think only with what I could actually do. Strange to say, my tactics worked. The dire badge lived only to give me time to get her body and her possessions and quickly go out again from that bloody crypt.

No way we would have come back there in the next days. I had seen her fall too many times and each of them it was a pierce at my very heart. I got her by the arm and took her to the Blood. Despite of all that I always think when I'm waiting for her to come back from the realm of the dead, I could not help to desire her again. I tried to avoid it this time. I told her to sleep on the bed while I would have been writing on my chair. She grinned and came to sit on my leg. She whispered that the chair was a "new place". I felt strange. That was true, and I was excited. I told her to sit on the chair while I would have changed myself. I wore very slutty dresses for that occasion. My first order to her was to wear slutty dresses too.

I told her I would have danced for her and sung. This was a song I used to sing while I was a courtesan and it was generally appreciated. I danced in a sensual way for her, moving my shoulders and belly and legs in an exotic rhythm. I could see her eyes almost closing for her need of rest, though she could not help to keep watching my dancing. I began to sing too "It is you that I adore, you'll always be my whore" and blinked at her, adding "We must never be apart". I knew I was going to be very kinky but I could not help stopping myself. I kept on dancing frantically in front of her. "You'll be a mother to my child and a child to my heart, lovely girl you're the beauty in my world, we must never be apart". I smiled maliciously at her but I continued my alluring movements. She was the gun at my head and the lover in my bed. I repeated again some lines then I stopped and jumped on her with a very skilled hop, my legs perfectly at her side while my whole body sitting on her belly. I began to give her orders. She obeyed at each of them. I was really excited. She was too. Our dresses fell on the floor very soon. We made love.

She fell asleep there on the chair. I delicately took her with my strong arms and put her on the bed. I lay close to her and we slept together. When the sun rose again I opened my eyes and she was already awake looking at me. I told her I needed some money to buy that greatsword I saw at the dwarven smith in the mountains. She told me she would have bought it for me. I replied her that she was always paying for everything and I did not want to exploit her money. I had not forgotten that she had paid also a lot for the Vistani madame to lift our curse. She replied me that money was nothing if she could see me happy. I smiled, but I promised to give her money back once I got it. Anyway we had to leave Village Barovia going to Vallaki. This was the worst part. No one of us wanted really to come back there. Anyway we would have needed a place where to stay at night because the journey had proven already too dangerous for us without the sunbeams lighting our way. For sure we would not have slept at the Lady's. Too many bad memories and too high possibility to find mean troublemakers.

We left. Only a couple of packs of wolves were on our path and I easily dispatched of them, though they harmed me a bit. We passed on the bridge on the falls. Our falls. I wondered about a thing. I told her that this was the very place in which we could spend our afterlife together. Where we could be buried together after out time on this earth has passed. She nodded enthusiastically. It seemed that the macabre subject did not shake her. We planned that if one of us died before the other one would have buried her body here. The problem was if we died together. I thought to ask for it to Marsh. She nodded. We passed the chocky fog after having drunk the Vistani potion.

The ogres attacked us on the pass. They are always there, it was quite expected. We dispatched of them too. The sun was setting fastly. We would have never reached Vallaki with the daylight. We would have stopped at the inn of the observatory. I told her to quicken her pace. I could her heavy steps behind us. And then a huge ogre was in front of us blocking our passage. As a Borcan I'm used to try to avoid a fight if it's possible, my first weapon always has been diplomacy. I saw he was not totally aggressive and I attempted a faint greeting. He could speak. Threice put herself behind me to be protected. He greeted back and asked why we wwere ignoring him, since other adventurers never do so. I began to lie. The only truth was we did not see him at all, otherwise we would have attacked him with his ogre companions. The lies were that his ogre companions wanted to play with us and we played with them, but unfortunately they ended quite badly. The ogre studied us. Shook his head. He had seen the whole scene. He told us why we were using that road though he and his companions were a sufficient reason to make people avoid it. I replied that if he taught us another way, next time we would have been glad to avoid that pass. But we needed to pass from there to go to Vallaki and back to Village Barovia. I pretended to be calm. I knew that at a first step I could do to attack him, probably he would have called for enforcements and we were too weak to face more ogres. Strange to say, if my lies did not work fully my diplomacy was really useful. He let us go. We hurried to the inn. Threice wanted to keep on the trip to Vallaki in order to come back to the village sooner. The moon was high in the sky. I insisted to rest at the inn and so we did.

We dined together and we had wine. It had been a long time since we had eaten together in an inn like that. I was happy and tired. We got a room for the night. As the sun rises again we will head to Vallaki, do what we have to and come back to Barovia quickly. Vallaki has nothing good for us, only pain and people who are jealous of us. I told her this was a new place too. This time I was more romantic. I kissed her on her whole body, repating poetic words. "As long men can breath", and I kissed her chest, "or eyes can see", and I kissed her eyes, "so long lives this", and I kissed her lips, "and this gives life to thee- and to me too", and finally I kissed and hugged her again. We spent another night as if it were the first and the last. I love her.

[DM Tarokka]

W came back to Vallaki then. Actually we only had been staying there for the night. We walked a lot in the whereabouts. We were looking for a strange palace inhabited by dwarves. One of them was a smith and sold a greatsword which I liked a lot. She promised me to buy it for me. I replied I would have repaid it back. Needless to say, I have not been able to persuade her yet to do so. I offered myself as her servant for the period in which I would have been repaying her. I think she wants me as a servant for life, though she is not so demanding as my mistress.

With some problems of orientation - I must confess that during my life I have always been paying people to guide me, never travelled totally alone- we found the place. We had been there once already, but this time it seemed that the small earthquakes were somehow getting worse. She fell many times and I had to grab her with my arm to let her feel more cohordinated. My service was also that of getting her on my shoulder to pass through some streams in order not to let her wet her dresses. I used to do so also in previous times of our relationship, it was only suspended when she had grown fat and I skinny: it would have been too dangerouse for my very spine. She bought the greatsword for me and I tested it. It was not only beautiful at sight, carefully manifactured by the dwarven skills, but seemed also most effective. I should have tested it later against some monsters.

After this moment of shopping we decided to go back to Vallaki and went to the Blue Water Inn, just after having passed through Murnu's shop and the bank. The only problem we have in Village Barovia is the lack of a place where to save our treasures and a good place where to sell what they do not need. I let her choose the room. She chosed the one in with we slept together -and only slept- maybe one year ago, more or less. She told me the other rooms brought her bad memories. She remembered the episode with Jacob and the Bane of Borca. I looked at her and told her that when she wanted she was no bad at remembering. She replied she remembered very well important things. Passing through the Noble District we could see that it was literally full of rats and dire rats. I did even not seen so many. We dispatched easily of them. For the rest it was not our concern.

We slept soundly. At the first lights of the dawn I woke up and dressed myself. She looked at me. We were leaving soon. We did not want to stay in Vallaki a minute more. Along our way I told her I needed a name for my sword. For the sword she had bought for me. She suggested something very long beginning with shiny. I told her it was no use a so long name. Shiny, however, would do. So that's the name of my sword now. We spoke a little about Rainn. She told me she did not miss him. I told her I felt a bit of regret for him, though it did not justify at all his recent behaviour against us. I'm quite sure our paths will cross again. We talked about finding him a new girlfriend in order to forget her. It's hard to forget Threice once you know her.

Just after Midway Haven we were attacked by ogres. They were more in number and better organized than the last groups we had met. Probably the ogre singer had set an ambush for us. That I cannot know because I fell under the blows of the huge monsters. I don't know how, but she managed to fetch me to Vallaki and there I was alive again. She is cute. But she is not only that. She hides secrets powers. She's a witch of course, and that is something known. But her strength of will is something no many people can know. It's another aspect I love about her. I was weak and she let me rest at the Blood. Only later I would have met her again, luckily escorted by Mash. I had had the proof, once more, she was able to get through a Barovian night without being harmed. In spite of that I'm always worried when she is alone. Mash has proven a good bodyguard and a good fighter. We asked him about our wish. We described him the place where we would have liked to be buried if ever he were able to find our body and nothing for them was possible to do to make them alive again. We know that in afterlife we will be together.

Later in the day Mash left us alone, after a bit of adventuring in three. We went just outside the cave of the nymph. She was decided to kill her especially after when she saw her so cute and she had become fat and less beautiful than she used to be. We never found her again. We camped out there in the woods. Maybe my thinking about death made me a bit sad. I began to tell her about my worries and fears about our future. She silenced me with a kiss. And we began to fancy about a good future, about a house together, maybe in that very cave the nymph had let free. I proposed her to become managers of an inn. She liked that idea. It was hard though to find one in need of us. We will look for it, though. Or maybe we could have one built in some strategic spot of the main Barovian routes. My Borcan and commercial mind never lets me.

We were neare the falls. The evening was warm and it did not rain. The stars could be seen in the dark sky. The sounds of the falls rocked us as a lullaby for lovers. I had bought a bedroll for that occasion, I knew that in looking for our "new places" it could happen to find an open space where enjoying ourselves. And we did enjoy. She taught me how to kiss properly. It seemed how we had kissed for our first time. I was a bit rude on her, but I know she likes me to be so. We were just getting back the happiness taken away from us the very next days after our marriage. I was happy. I am happy. She is too. We love each other and we don't care about the world around us. The problem is that sooner or later envious people will care about us. We got back to the Blood after a bit of fighting and we made love again. I know this cannot last. I will enjoy of every second I'll be alive beside her. The eternity will join us again. Near the Tser Falls. As perpetual drops of water running down close to each other to be joined again in a lake.

[DM Tarokka]

I'm at the Broken Bell at the moment. We have just quarrelled. We were in Barovia only two days ago, and now two days here in this foul town of Vallaki which seems to be full of rats, maybe the showing off of the sewers of its populace. I had rescued her body and Mash's and waited for the priest to raise her. As often happens the fear of lose her for ever and then looking at her again excites me. We spent a whole day in our room at the Blood. I sang for her the very first song I had ever dedicated to her. It was at the Blue Water, I still remember it. Nothing happened between us that time.

I know I'm silly, but I did not want to come here. She explained it was only a reason of something to sell to Murnu who has better prices. She even bought for me a very good silvered greatsword. Shinier is its name. She's kind to me, she loves me and she desires me. It's not this the point. I fear the people of Vallaki because most of them are double-gamers and help you only in order to have something back. It's the normal way the things work also in my homeland and actually it is what I do as well usually. In Vallaki I have been kidnapped, humiliated, threatened by undead, eaten by werecreatures, killed by calibans, and also she may well tell her bad experiences. I'm not saying that life in Barovia is totally safer, because we had some problems even there. Somehow Village Barovia seems to me a place in which your enemy is in front of you, in Vallaki he may well backstab you, just like in Borca, the place I left to come here.

When I wake up in the morning at the Blood and I don't find her at my side, I'm not overworried. The village is not large, I always find her. I know her routes and even if something bad has happened to her I could well rescue her. There I also easily found that artist who wanted to make a painting of her. He will end it in hell. I know when I'll wake up here at the Broken Bell and I do not see her at my side, even if she leaves me a note telling me where she is, well, I know I'll be mad not seeing her and not knowing if she is safe.

I yelled at her again. I didn't mean to do that. I ironiccally told her if she wanted to stay at the Lady's and she replied it was a good idea. It was one of the few things I advised not to do here in Vallaki: I told her to avoid the Lady's and the western outskirts. I could have more easily be heard by a dumb wall. I yelled at her. I felt she was leaving me for ever. She even cast an offensive spell upon me, I don't know if she meant to harm me. As a matter of fact a necklace she game as a gift protected me. She is always kind to me. This town somehow changes us and hurts our rlationship. Yet we had spent a good day here in Vallaki too. I played with her with some kinky games I learnt when I was a courtesan and I washed her and massaged her as only a former and skilled courtesan as me could do. The day has been not bad afterall. We had met some people too. The meeting I won't forget was Regno intruding in our room where we were half-naked. He gave me an armor and some gems to Threice. Laughing loudly he left as he came. We stayed for a while very puzzled trying to understand what had happened. No guess. Before in the day, one who seemed Rainn, with a rose in his hand, maybe was courting lady Tatyana. I spoke to her about the lunch I missed. I told her I would have not missed a new one, though I perfectly knew that maybe I would have headed again to Barovia. Maybe tomorrow I will go, it depends on what Threice decides to do. She has just told me we are going back soon. It's not that I do not trust her, I do not trust other people here. And she is fooled easily sometimes. As when, meeting a perfect stranger on the Svalich Road, she advertised loudly she had some two thousand fangs on her. There was me with her, I don't know what could have happened if she were alone. We met also a strange guy called Finn, a singer he says. The only thing I know is that I heard him suggesting Rainn to kidnapp Threice. I told her this thing. I'm not sure she'll remember.

I'm worried to close my eyes and close my journal, but I have to because I'm tired. I only hope that tomorrow when I open them again I find her at my side. Or maybe find her having breakfast at the groundfloor.Or maybe, maybe, too many maybes. The sunbeams will be the answers, I hope not to have bad dreams. She told me she had. She dreamt she woke up ugly and without me at her side. Let's say that my recurrent bad dream concerns only the second part. Not every dream, luckily, comes true.

[DM Tarokka]

She left me a note. I wore my new armor and went down the inn, and then hurried to the Old Svalich Road to reach her. I met Rera there. Actually I did not know where the place mentioned on her note was, but Rera was a good explorer, so I asked for his help. We hurried westward and passed through Vallaki and the outskirts, to keep on our way north, along the western shore of the Lake Zarovich. In a wood near there we found her. She was quite cool at first to me. I was still embarassed for having been so rude the day before. While they're were talking, I tried to manage to set a tent which I had bought the days before. I always thought about that. We are often resting in woods and in open spaces. Sometimes we do not only rest. I thought it would have been a good idea having one, though it was quite heavy to carry. If we could not have a home, that tent would have been temporary ours and "home" might have been every place we went. Nevertheless I could not feel Vallaki as home anymore. That town gives me uneasy feelings.

Maybe I was too slow and too thoughtful about the tent. As a matter of fact I lost them again. Only some hours later Rera came back to find me. That was no good. She seemed to have forgotten I was there. We went together in a cave. We dispatched easily of some humanoids creatures. I had already been there to rescue some corpses while I was a Vallaki guard. Guards are not passing a good time at the moment there in Vallaki. While passing with Rera I could not help noticing the break in the western wall and its ruins. I asked what had happened, fearing that Invidian army had moved so close in Barovian territory. Someone replied me they were rebels. I thought about Gundkarites. They had for sure scored a good point. I'm no more a guard, but this does not mean I symphatize with rebels. However, as I repeated many times, this is not my war. I'm Borcan and I think I will ever feel so.

After the breif adventure in the cave, Rera left us alone. And we talked. I begged for her pardon many times. She seemed not to care too much. And she promised me again to leave for Barovia as soon as possible. She told me a man, at the Broken Bell, had told her I had another partner. She asked me if this were true. I looked at her. How could it be possible? I was a bit angry for that lie. She assured me she had not believed the man. That was fair. We were quite sure of ourselves on that. We would not allowed people intruding in our lives in that silly way. Yet she told me that if I were happy with another she would have been happy for me. I replied that it was not possible, because I was happy only with her and I didn't care about anoyone else.

We moved to the outskirts. There were many people out there and it was morning. A tiny elf girl looked at her, run, and hugged her strongly. She seemed to like her very much. I frowned and crossed my arms waiting for some explanations, which did not come to me as soon as I wished. There was also Wilhelm there, but I was so focussed on that girl I almost did not even wave at him. She dragged Threice in the Lady's. I frowned again and followed. I was trying badly to keep my calm. It would be a nonsense hitting her, showing again how Vallaki put bad temper in my mind. Her name was Alka. She seemed to be worried by anything but Threice. I was a bit rude to her, so she began to fear me. Threice whispered something in her ears and probably explained her who I was. I could clearly overhear she replied I was mean and that I scared her. I sighed. In the meantime Wilhelm was close to the bench where we were sitting, speaking with another girl. I tried to cool the tense atmosphere asking Alka if she wanted to listen to a song. She shook her head. Then Threice persuaded her to make me happy in this. I shrugged, got my lute, and played a very brief song dedicated to Threice. The little girl clapped me. Then she moved to the rooms to rest. Threice whispered to me that if I wanted we could go back to Village Barovia that very moment. I nodded and told her to say the little girl where she could find us. She seemed one who cared for Threice, maybe one of the few real friends she had. When she came back, I greeted Wilhelm and his new friend and told him he would have known as well where to find me in the next future.

I was jealous of the little girl, but she made me change easily my mind. Threice cared for her probably because she was so shy and alone and seeminigly helpless. I told her what I felt. She shrugged. She loved me and only me. It was midday. It was not safe to leave in that moment. We conceded ourselves a "grand tour" in the whereabouts of Vallaki to get some trasures and kill something. We went fighting shadows back in the wood where I was placing my tent. I had so much repressed my anger that my new sword, Shinier, cut everything that moved so easily. We also fought against two werewolves. The sword was very effective also against them. Then Threice led me to a stream. She asked me to carry her on my shoulders to avoid to wet her dresses. She is always chilishly happy when I carry her this way. It's very funny how we pretend we're still children. I told her if I had to be her horse she would have to whip me to make me go faster. She grinned a bit evilishly and thought that next time she would have done so. We were together again. I mean, not only phisically, but enojoying together with only one mind to the other one.

Unfortunately that was not a funny place to enjoy ourselves. There was a cave. Many tracks around it and clear blood spots. We were badly curious and entered. Lots of bones, probably human ones, were displayed all along the cave. We could clearly hear wolves howlings. But there were also signs of a kind of civilization. The wolves in there were not normal, instead they could well be weres. We kept on with a great attention to all the noises we could hear. Threice burnt with her spells many normal wolves. In some caves, though, we found them. My sword and my armor were the only protection in the tiny corridors. However in this way I could avoid them to reach for her, while she could protect me from the back casting on them her more powerful spells. We did a great job. We were becoming such a perfect couple even in combat. We repeated the same operation in another cave. While we were looking for treasures and resting a bit, a man with a large hat approached and studied us.

We thought he could be a robber or someone protecting these creatures at first. Instead he introduced himself as a were-hunter. I displayed my lies at first, then I relaxed and gave him my real name, so did Threice. She asked if she were also a witch-hunter, clearly worried about the word "hunter" mainly. Samuel, that was his name, told her she was at occasion, when she found evil witches. Before in the day Threice showed me a cast through which she could evoke a skeleton warrior. I shivered. That was black magic, necromancy. I have always had a normal attitude towards magic, but not to black magic. I remember in Borca, while working for the Baroness, we always offered our help to fight necromancers for the Church of Ezra. It was something stronger than me. Threice was not so worried about that, but I told her not to cast that spell ever in presence of other persons. That could mean she might have been accused of black magic and burnt in a public bonfire to satisfy the populace greed for blood. She shrugged and nodded, then she began to fancy about doing it with a skeleton. I joked with her telling I would have tried if she tried first, then we could do it together. She laughed telling me I should have been the first. I nodded.

As a matter of fact she is NOT a black witch, despite that skeleton episode. However I whispered in her ear to be careful to display powerful spells while we were with this Samuel. We went on with him to help him in his were-hunting. He proved brave but not too strong. The main work was mine. I had again to push back the werewolves attacks while he fought behind me. And Threice cast some of her spells. After the fight I healed him with my spells to distract him off the offensive ones which had been obviously cast by her. He thanked me, but suddenly talked to her. He did not have the dull Barovian narrow-mind. He simply told she could have killed him, instead she helped him not to die and moreover she was very good at killing those monsters. We kept on or hunt.

We went thorugh a terrible-looking cave. It seemed the huge mouth of a wolf. Samuel told us that there we could fine people seeming human, but actually being of them werewolves. We saw one of them. He told us to attack and so we did. Two more werewolves came suddenly and I had my problems in dealing with them. I could see Samuel badly wounded and Threice in frenzy casting her destructive spells on them. I was getting weaker, I could not manage three of them. I only remembered I shouted them to run away while I protected their evasion. I fell.

I don't know what happened in the meanwhile. I only remembered to having been raised by Regno, and while I was still trying to understand where I was I asked me back the armor he had given me. I asked him where Threice was and he brought me to her. She was just outside the room where we were. Her eyes were red with tears, and she kept on rubbing them. It was the first time I saw her cry for me. She told me she was not crying. She could not deceive me for such that evicence. Regno told us he would have asked for our help to defeat some undead things who harmed some friends of his. He then scratched his head and told that we were those friends. I told him I was still worried about those creatures and that bad experience was something I would not have liked to repeat. He anwered casting some spells to impress me. He did, but this did not change my mind on the matter. Then he went away. I kissed Threice once we were alone. Unfortunately Samuel intruded in the corridor again asking for our joining him again in his hunt. I replied him I had no armor and I was quite weak. Threice gave him some money to go to buy a new one for me. And smiling she described as it should have been. I shrugged.

We moved in a room. I was weak and tired and so she was too. Before we fell asleep she told me about what had happened. About Samuel who wanted to leave me there and going out looking for help. She could not allow my body to stay there with the clear possibility to be devoured by those monsters. Furthermore she told me what Regno did with my body. She said he transformed me in a skeleton. And I was not so cute as I used to be. Furthermore I hit her as a skeleton. I told her it could not be me because I would never have hurt her that way for any reason in the world. She had worried too much for me. She loves me. She fell asleep. And so did I, a long expected slumber, dreamless and for many many hours.

[DM Tarokka]

Telling that the last days have been troublesome is only a partial glance on what has happened to me. After my adventure against werewolves I have been very weak for a long time, so I missed again the lunch, or the ball as someone told me, of Lady Tatyana. And Threice went wandering who knows where. I was a bit worried as usual, but not so much actually. She had escaped from many dangerous situations already, she had her good points at being sneaky and run. What I fear most are people, not monsters. That's why I hate Vallaki.

As a matter of fact, it was not she to be in trouble this time, but me. I was quietly having a drink at the Lady's with a silly man who was trying to persuade me in joining a sort of fight against undead. Wilhelm was there too speaking to a strange woman. As a matter of fact the man and the woman began to fight. She was a witch, or that is what I thought at first. Wilhelm and me avoided carefully to interfere with the fight, because it seemed something personal between the two of them. She killed him. She wanted to kill us too because we had seen her in her face. I cried and prayed her not to do so. I assured her we did not care about that and soon we would have forgotten everything. Wilhelm shouted at me to flee. He's one of the few I may consider friends, I would not have let him there alone. I'm almost repented about that, though. I ended in a very tricky situation.

The woman ordered me to carry the corpse of the man and to follow. She was surrounded by many colours and waves and bubbles, the magical powers strongly around her and within her. I had never seen something like this. She led us to the external entrance to the crypts of Vallaki, the one which should be secret and almost all the populace know though. She wanted us to go down and let that man be devoured by undead or made one of them. I cried again and begged not to go down there. I confusely explained I did not want to go, I had promised never to go there again. She mumbled and nodded. She ordered Wilhelm to make a campfire. She ordered me to rip off an eye from the man. He had already a glass eye, I had to remove the normal one. I asked for a knife and performed the operation. That was not the time to be slow or helpless. But I was indeed. She ordered to Wilhelm to burn the corpse. It burnt quickly. She got the skull. She seemed mad with blood frenzy.

She looked at us again. We had helped her, we were sort of partners in crime though we actually did nothing if not on an already dead man. She told us again we had seen her real face and she had to dispatch of us. I begged to have my life spared. She asked us in what we were good at. She told us we would have worked for her. Gathering information for her. I was almost paralyzed and my silver tongue seemed not to do its work in that moment. She had seen the magical powers of Wilhelm and told him she would have helped him in his studies. I don't know what she meant, but her "help" was actually not what I would have got for granted. As far as for me, I should have gathered these information. I don't know how. I told her I used to work as a guard and I was also an actress. She nodded and told us she would have been checking us and come again for news. Before she left she transformed herself in a huge demon. She was a demon, not a woman. An evil and foul demon-witch. Nairahas her name. Foul and evil. My mistress, being me willing or unwilling.

I was deperate, I was just getting again back my happy life and it happened this. I was mad at myself because I did that sort of thing I advised Threice not to do, that is being idly at the Lady's waiting for something bad to happen. Because at that inn, I have suffered maybe from the worst things happened me in Vallaki. I promised the demon not to speak to anyone about what happened. Eventually I had to tell Threice, though. Wilhelm tried to confort me. He also told me he asked me to flee because he knew I had had a bad period and something new and bad was not what I needed. I replied I could not let him there alone. Something good came from this, though. The ashes of the man, who only in that moment we realized to be a paladin, let some metallic objects there. Wilhelm wanted to fetch them at the church. That paladin was obviously an outlander. No church in the whole Barovia would have recognized him. I suggested to keep what we needed and sell the rest. Wilhelm did not want anything, but he escorted me to Murnu. The prices were not as good as I had hoped. We went back to the Lady's and there I glanced a Red Vardo agent. Lila was her name. She was most kind. And furthermore she did not ask anything on how I had found those objects. Never ask if you don't want people to lie. She bought from me, I bought from her. I think it was a good bargain.

Wilhelm escorted me in my search for Threice. I went to the Broken Bell. I profited of the situation to check if my application had been accepted. Not that I meant to move again to Vallaki. I was just looking for Threice to leave again to Village Barovia. In spite of that I was badly curious about that theatre. Maybe it would be a pleasant and enjoying work which could give us the chance to come in Vallaki now and then. I met a man whose name was Armand. Gallant and cute, his clearly Mordentish manners and accent gave him a very elegant and smart appeal. We talked a bit about my application. He led us in the lower ground where the theatre was. I was shocked. The tapestries were fine and rich, the stage quite big and the ceiling very high. I had hear a lot speaking of this thatre but actually I never thought that such a fine place could exist in this forsaken land of Barovia where only the worst of the people is what means more.

He showed me the changing rooms. I was emotionally. My audience had been only Threice for a while or maybe a couple of patrons at the Lady's who clapped only mechanically at my performances. Armand seemed to be a skilled artist and I was emotionally especially for this. I was worried not to be so skilled as I presumed to be. Afterall I'm a fighter and this has been my life for most of my time. At first my legs trembled a bit, my voice was low, my face had for sure a dull expression. When he told me to begin my audition things changed. I played the Ballad of Death, one of my favourites and one I know more, though as usual I would have needed three more people on it. I sang, danced and kept the rhythm with a tambourine. A final acrobacy put an end at my show. Armand and Wilhelm clapped me and I bowed. I felt blood pumping in my veins almost as when I go adventuring. It was a nice sensation.

Armand came on the stage to talk to me. He was quite persuasive, and asked me a lot of things. I lied. As usual. I did not lie, though, about problems with laws. I never had them. I repeated my story of the actress until the age of 16, the running away from my family and joining the guards. I told him I was married. And my "husband" was my main concern, so I could have been easily out of town, but a way to keep in touch with Armand would have been found. Unfortunately I saw Armand very confident with the Broken Bell bartender. I'm pretty sure he will soon know the real identity of my "husband". The play is the thing I will use to gather information for the demon.

Finally I found Threice. I told her I had to speak a lot about some things happened to me and I hinted we would have come to Vallaki more frequently than we used to do. But I was vague about the whole matter. I wanted to leave the town as soon as possible to reach our "home", that is Village Barovia. We left at once.

[DM Tarokka]

The trip to Barovia was not as easy as we thought it could be. Twice we had to go back. The first time because she had forgotten to save her money in the bank, being one of the main causes we had come back at all. The second because she fell under the attacks of bodaks. I hate those creatures, so many times they harmed us. To pass sneaking them, she gave me two potions of invisibility. She bought them in a kind of secret shop in Vallaki. I hoped, though, I could learn how to cast that spell. It is how we go thorugh many hard situations. I brought her corpse to the Church of Ezra, then we spent the night at the Blue Water. Since we had been in Vallaki we had no time at all to make love. And this time it went as well. We were so tired we only slept.

I was worried about the meeting for the demon lady, and I was trying to find the words I would have told to Threice about that subject. She insisted. We stopped at the Tser Falls. We camped and I built our tent. There we spoke. I was sad. I messed up with our lives. Actually with mine only, but I hoped she was a bit worried too. And she was. I saw her rather serious. She was for sure thinking about something to help me to escape that tricky situation as we had already done in our still brief but intense past together. She frowned when I told her about me cutting the eye off a corpse. I suspect somehow she wanted to hit me for having being so silly while I always tell her not to be so. We promised again eternal love in that place which had become "our" place. And we made love, tenderly covered only by our tent, rain drops dripping on it and thunders and lightining around giving us a shivering feeling and more will to be hugged strongly together.

In spite of my problems, we were growing quite well as a couple. We loved us, but we also quarrelled only to make peace thereafter, we had become such perfect even in combat. New paths of enlightnement had come to us. Once in Barovia we dispatched easily of everything that moved. Her spells were devastating, my skill with the sword gradually was coming back to my usual grade. In the crypts we met a girl, her name was Rainna. She helped us to gather more treasures. Unfortunately she died with us. We felt so powerful that we overestimated our real strength. Those awful hellish dogs and cats were still too much for us. A man saved us though, and saved also Mash who, probably, had come to try to rescue us.

Francois, that's his name, raised me as the first of the group. I was still weak but I had to come back down there. The man was quite nice and helpful, but later I changed my mind on him. He made a lot of questions. He was curious about the purple haired woman we were going to rescue. Asked her name. Finally, once we had gathered all the bodies and she was revived, he began to say strange things to her. About murdering people. He said he was a guard. I thought he had no authority at being a Vallaki guard there in Barovia but avoided to have a fight with him. He left us. We went to the Blood.

I asked her about what Francois was telling. She spoke to me and revealed her secrets. No secrets between us, that's what we keep on saying to ourselves. After she had confessed, I felt relieved a lot. I mean, I prefer her alive than dead and everything she does to be alive is good to me. However I pretended I wanted to arrest her. I tied her with ropes to the bed and then undressed her. And eventually it was kinky, hurty-kinky as she said. Still hugged she told me some things she remembered. I protested. We spoke about ourselves and our relationship. I'm so silly sometimes. She assured me. I advised her. This was how things worked between us.

She did not want to tell me a thing, though, and told me to ask for it to Mash or Rainn. It was about my resign as her bodyguard. I actually never knew how she reacted to that. I have always thought she had soon forget even I did exist at all. But it was not so. I discovered in these days she loved me since much longer I suspected. How silly I was. Or rather, my heart was well closed and locked, I did not come to Barovia to fall in love again, especially with a woman for the fact I was just escaping from a similar and deadly problem. She asked me if I had ever realized she was paying me more than Mash. I thought it was because I was a good guard. She told me because she loved me. Nevertheless she did not want to tell me about her reaction. Mash told me something. He told me she cried and got mad for my resign. I could not listen to details because Rainna wanted a private meeting with her. I forbade that. I told her why. Mash shighed and told me it was becoming almost baby-sitting. I was still patient enough to explain her quietly, saying it all with simple words and making examples. Such as in guards training: simple orders and examples. She seemed to have understood but I know I have to watch out for her.

Later we went at the Nymph's cave again. We wanted to make that our permanent residence, but that cute lady kept on coming back. We killed her again. Actually, she killed me and Threice killed her. I simply was raised at the Morninglord's temple. We got in our room. I had to get again my strength. And while she's sleeping, I'm writing my journal. I love her. I told her I'm not jealous of her because I think of her as a possession of mine. In fact I consider her a part of me, and me a part of her, we're one and the same thing, everything bad happening to one of us harms also the other one. I will not allow it. She will not allow it. That's how things work between us.

[DM Tarokka]

We had been staying in Barovia only for a short while. In spite of my protestations about coming back to Vallaki, this time it was me to propose the trip. However at the moment we're resting at Midway just coming back to Barovia again. Many events happened to us though.

I met two men, actually a man and an elf. I had some chat with them down in the Barovian crypts while we were looking for trasures. The elf Trivaris was still thanking him for having saved him, though it had been Threice and I only told him, as a joke, I had protected her back. Of course he's an outlander, he does not know of any of the places around tiny and dull Barovia. I spoke to him about Sithicus which I know it is on the southern border of this realm. I had been there long ago, but I used a guide for going there as usual, so I could not actually find the way for that place. Furthermore I remember clearly the feeling of guilt who caught me during my staying there: nothing I would like to feel again. I'm pretty sure it was something related to that place because once I was going back to Borca that bad feeling suddenly disappeared. About the other man I will speak further in this journal because I am still trying to have an idea about him. He told me he left Vallaki because he had threatened by a sellsword meaning to murder him. He seems to know her. She mocked him. She does that especially when other people mock her. I know she is not the first to engage in this sort of offense challenging. I played some songs for these two men and they enjoyed. I'm beginning to think I am quite skilled as an entertainer. This was another reason I wanted to go back to Vallaki, just to check if there were any news at the Borken Bell. Unfortunately there weren't, but I left a message for Armand in order to make me know about reharsal or plays and wrote where he could find me.

She was soundly asleeping when I entered the room. I mumbled. Maybe it was a moment of a lesson in Emilia's style. My former lover used to do me very bad things in order to teach me how to behave in some situations. I must confess her lessons were quite painful, but they worked somehow, because I laernt many things. I tried to be as silent as possible and tied her wrists and anklets to the bed. I made myself invisible. Then I put on her eyes a piece of cloth. I knew she was quite harmless this way. And this was something she had to learn. Even in sleeping you have to keep an eye or an ear open. I stripped her naked. I woke her up with some slaps on her face. Now it came the hardest part, I had to pretend I was a male. It worked somehow, because she was still half-asleep and confused and a piece of cloth on my mouth made mer voice a bit lower in tune. I told her she was under arrest for black magic, heresy and murder. At first she replied in some ironic way. I had to slap her again. She seemed not to take so seriously the bad potential situation I had presented to her. She told me I was the first who kidnapped her and not trying to have some "gift" from her. She told me maybe I did not like women. I decided to go further. I told her that her lover had already been killed for the same reasons. She was hanging naked on the main square of the village. She frowned. I went further on. I told her every man in the barracks, before she was killed, had profited of her. Moreover she seemed to have enjoyed the situation before to die. Now she changed humour definitely. Maybe she was not worried about her own fate, but by mine for sure she was. I decided to stop, untied her and told her it was only me.

At first I thought she wanted to hit me and asked more and more times why I had been so mean to her. I waited for her to calm down then I explained. I told her that was merely a possibility. Especially if she kept on going to advertise our love, if she went on casting spells with no trusted people around, if she went to someone revealing she had killed men. I told her again I did not mean to change her, because I love her so how she is. I wanted to make her realize that every time she is in danger, so am I. Nice people often pretend. They're nice to have a bargain. I do know actually if she understood the lesson. I'm planning to do it again, differently if possible in order to not let her guess it's me again.

We met Rera later in those days. We wanted to show him the nymph's cave as the place where we intended to live if that cute woman and her friends had stopped to haunt it. She was not there this time. We aksed Rera if he found us cute. And then we teased him a bit. We told him we could pretend to be his girlfriends in order to make other girls wonder how that little being could possibly have not one but two girlfriends like us. We showed him our best slutty clothes too. He was about to faint. Especially shortly after we both kissed him on his cheeks. I blinked to Threice. Luckily she had somehow partially forgotten the bad experience in which I put her. However I hoped that in dangerous situations she could remember. I met Rera again in those Barovian days. He was really bad injured. I helped him with the priest. I think it could be something related to ghouls. He could turn in one of them. The Morninglord priest luckily saved him. If I were not there he would have been collapsed and turned into a ghoul. He owes me his life.

We also met Regno and one of his accolytes, his name Kublai. They were making ready some rituals. We wanted to dodge the situation but we could not. Regno asked us to help him in the education of Kublai. Threice would have taught him language and I fighting. In the following days I brought him to the crypts and taught him some tactics. I also gave him the hammer I stole from the corpse of the paladin days before. The last evidence of me being involved in that situation left my hands. Unfortunately I know I'm trying to avoid the she-demon and that she will soon ask for me, but I don't want to think about that now. Kublai proved to be brave, but not educated in battle. He almost fell in spite of my ordering to stay back. Being a priest he can work better at my shoulders, healing me or hitting undead while I'm fighting them. My lessons were above all on protecting oneself, even fleeing if needed: to know when to flee is a sign of wisdom and many times it can save your life.

In those crypts I had promised never to come back again. Another place with a black cross in the mental map I have of this realm. Something had changed though. Days before Threice and me went down there as usual and met a man called Rodrigo. He was a priest of Ezra. I showed my knowledge on the topics and he began to call me "sister" as if I were a devote. He even tried to speak me in High Mordentish, but unfortunately I have only some few rudiments of that language. As a matter of fact I understood maybe a half of what he told me and replied in very short and simple answers. We decided to explore the secret part of the crypts. Silly idea. We easily dispatched of all the monsters down there and felt strong. We defeated even the cute ladies Threice likes so much. We went down a pit. Really bad idea. We saw a fiend. Unfortunately for us the fiend saw us too. No blame in running, and we ran. The fiend stalked us. The walls and the ceiling trembled under his pace. I panted and I was a bit slower than the others. I would have sacrificed myself for her if needed, if I had to slow the fiend. It was a terrible moment. We did not find easily the way out. At last we found it. We escaped in the temple, running, panting and sweating. I told to my companions that was something over our possibilities. And I would have never fought that fiend if not with an army of clerics and paladins. Rodrigo told us he would have gathered a sort of army. Threice was quite puzzled. She was worried. She wihispered to me that it seemed troubles stalked us such as that fiend down there. I nodded.

As a matter of fact, she went once more down there, while I was resting. She did not make me a full account still, but she was with Regno and some other. It seems that they defeated the demon. Good news. Maybe one day I should ask to Regno about the she-demon whom I dealt with. Shortly after that, we relaxed at the Blood and I performed some songs for Threice who finally fell asleep. The following day we left for Vallaki.

[DM Tarokka]

She spoke to me about that strange meeting. Promise of eternal life and beauty. She told me about that. Of course it was tempting. But I had to meet her too to better understand which could be the bad things. I mean, nobody gives you anything good without a bargain. I'm pretty sure we'll meet her again. She told me they spoke also about me, but I want to speak to her by myself. Not that I don't trust Threice, but I'd rather have my opinion and feelings about that.

Our way to Vallaki was quiet. We had some shopping and saved some money at the bank for our future. I bought a gorgeous cloak from an elf trader. I'm pretty sure I am gorgeous too wearing it. Staying so much time with Threice has made me appreciate better my own beauty. I don't consider myself particularly cute, but the fact she always repeats me that I am is almost making change my mind.

We looked for her friend Alka. She had known she had had some troubles with thieves. We found her at the Lady's. Needless to repeat how I hate that place. And of course I actually do not worry a lot about Alka. But I want to see Threice happy and I agreed on looking for her friend. We talked a bit about her. If she were often in danger there were only two possibilities: coming with us in Village Barovia or having a good body guard. We told her that. She replied she would have come with us only if Rainn joined. Rainn was there too. He blamed again us. He told he would have never gone where we were because we ruined his life. He's right. We did that. I'm sorry for that, but it's my own happiness I care mostly. As a matter of fact Alka decided to remain in Vallaki. Rainn would have protected her. Threice was sort of happy of this. She knows Rainn better than me and told me he's what she needs. I asked her if she missed him. She replied she was with me and she did not miss anything else. I smiled.

I asked her to come with me to the elvish village. I was looking for Singer, the huge woman who gave us wise advise when we were cursed. I wanted to tell her we were fine. I had the feeling she cared for us. Maybe she could be a friend to us. Threice and me at the moment have very few real friends and this is not good. I'm happy to stay with her, afterall she is my love, but it's not this the point. We need people caring for us, because people hating us there are already a lot. Unfortunately we did not find her. We moved for the Broken Bell to have a rest and eating something before leaving again to Barovia. Strange to say, this time Vallaki has not reserved us any bad welcome. I left there a note for Armand.

Now we are at Midway Haven in the inn. She is sleeping. Let me think, it's time to make a list. When she reads this journal, because I know she does, she'll understand this list I'm going to write.

Vallaki and whereabouts-
Broken Bell Inn -several times-
Blue Water Inn -several times-
Behind the Church of the Morninglord -once-
Lady's Resting Inn -only very close to it, but never-
Under the crypts -once-
Lodge by the lake -couple of times-

Village Barovia and whereabouts-
Blood o'the Vine Inn -lots of times-
Nymph's cave -once-

Other places-
Tser Falls -once-
Midway Haven Inn -once-
Midway Haven bath -couple of times-

Uh uh, I don't know if my memory is good enough. I will have her to check the list. Now I'm going to sleep too. Tomorrow we'll be in Barovia again I hope.

[DM Tarokka]

At Village Barovia at last. Though it didn't go actually as we had planned. We got back again to Vallaki because I had to leave a further note to Monsieur Armand. At the Broken Bell there were a lot of people. I introduced myself, and I asked if Armand had been seen. Threice was still sleeping at Midway, I left a note to her saying where I went.

I met two brothers. At first I didn't realize they were relatives, but after a while I could regognize they spoke a strange variety of language which seemed somehow High Mordentish. They later explained me it was the language of Souragne. They were both stunning beautiful and very kind. And a second glance they were almost identical, almost the same person with different genders. Edmund and Suzette their names. There was also Finn in there, with his usual bad temper against women. When entered also Rainn he had also a reminder to tease me about my love for Threice. Rainn was bleeding and told he had been hit bt Willem. It was there also an elf guy and another woman but I could not guess their names, though I already met them elsewhere. Finn was advertising my secret to the whole inn. Suzette found the story quite romantic, because of the love escape. As a matter of fact I had not come back to Vallaki to let more people know about Threice and me. Many things do not depend on our will, though.

So it happened we went also down to the theatre. I was just waiting for Threice to come and she came. There we had to plan something to play in the following days. It seemed nobody had any ideas. Threice was nervous at my side and whispered a lot to me and so did I. She wanted to go away as soon as possible. She was right and I had been silly to come back in Vallaki. At any rate this was my chance. Finn was a skilled player but he had not ready-at-hand ideas, and Edmund was in charge to plan something as soon as possible. I proposed him the Ballad of Death. Threice smiled. I performed it by myself to her a couple of times. She knew it. This time actually I did not perform, since I had to explain how many people were needed and who had to do what. Edmund liked the stuff and strange to say even Finn, in spite he told me it was quite simple, seemed to enjoy that. Edmund asked me if I could hand him a script. Shortly before we left again for Barovia, I wrote every thing I had learnt by heart when I was 15-16 and still remembered. Later Threice confessed me she was quite happy those people knew about us and did not trouble us. I hope they can become friends besides being acting partners.

On our way out, Threice pointed me a note. It was another rebels message. I told her I had to deliver it to Edmund. I explained briefly what it was about and to ask for gurads help. My joy to be part of the theatre world almost faded away thinking back at my period in Vallaki guards and the episode of my kidnapping by Gundkarites. I probably will come back to Vallaki for the theatre, but that news was something which almost made me change my mind. I soon forgot these things on our way back because I fell again against ogres. Threice had to carry me for the wat left. Again that sensation to be born again. And again I had to think to something else. I showed her my list. There was a mistake. We never made it in the Nymph's cave, only outside there. We moved to correct that mistake.

I asked her about her next lesson. I wanted to teach her how to dance, to make her dance with me. She shrugged. She did not like it. I spoke to her about the other lesson and what she had learnt. At first she seemed not have learnt anything, since she kept on repeating only that it hurted. I though back about her behaviour some hours before at the Broken Bell. Actually she behaved finely. Maybe our next lesson can wait. At the moment was that cave our concern, and we headed there.

[DM Tarokka]

We spent some more or less quiet days in Village Barovia. Though maybe too many people of Vallaki had met us there- Rainn's friend Mark was one of them- , we were keeping on our lives, enjoying us and loving us. We met also the little girl Jane. She had been in trouble. She was a friend of hers, so, clearly, I helped her. How we discovered later, though, she needed definitely more help than what I at first believed. She was a bit shrew to reveal the truth to me, I don't even know if Threice knew it at all. As a matter of fact, she told us she was not a ten-year-old-girl but a woman almost our age, whose name was Sylvana. I tried to think about anyone with that name who possibly I could have known but I had no idea. She told us to have been cursed and knowing we had gone through a curse and were fine and still alive, she thought we could be of help to her.

I tapped my lip thoughtfully to let her speak more. I was going to help, anyway, simply because I was sure Threice would have liked us to do it. As a matter of fact, the last thing I wanted to do was to be stuck again in dealing with curses. Moreover, Jane-Sylvana told us where she was cursed: at the orphanage in Vallaki. That meant we should have come back there. I had suggested to Sylvana to seek the help of Vistani, because for sure they could help but she had to win their trust and will to help. But someone told me that one of the women who manage that orphanage was a Vistani as well, and if so it would have been no chance that some other Vistani might have helped. After a while Rera joined us. Little Sylvana is a childish troublemaker. She quarrelled with Rera. I must say that Rera behaved childishly as well. As a matter of fact Threice bored herself of that and simply disappeared. It was night and we were at the marshes. Only maybe for a miracle I managed to fight my way looking for her and succeded to bring in safety Sylvana and Rera.

We waved at them because we needed some time for our own. We are two sociable girls actually, but we don't want to be too stuck in troubles. Our friends seem to be enough troublemakers for us even when it is not needed, and furthermore it seems that troubles follow us as well even if wer are careful. She wore a special and sexy cloth for me, and we shared again our love. While I was sleeping, she went out and bought something for me. After a while she woke me up grinning and trying to hide a small bag. Then she showed it to me. They were cherries, she told me she was quite addicted to them but has also some ideas on how to feed me. The first one was given to me only in a half, the other half was eaten by her. Then, one by one, she simply put every cherry in my mouth. Once she put a bunch of them and almost she choked me. After that we made it again. And later we went to look for troubles again. The fact that no undead or no living being had discovered us making love down there the crypts did not mean we were immortal to dangers or to troubles. But it happened.

***

Looking back at all the people or monsters who created problem to us, actually demons, or fiends as I can call them, were not at the top of the list. I was running away from Nairahas but my job for her was quite easy and once I would have met her again I probably would have provided some information to make her happy and let me live for a long while more. We had had problems with demons down on Barovia's crypts, but Threice assured me that Regno, her and some others had resolved it. Actually that problem solving was quite partial. Besides this time we were silly at the same time. I mean, I behave in a way that sometimes can seem smart, but I am perfectly aware I'm not. I have made too many mistakes in my past to confirm this, though experience has taught me much. But there are moments in which Threice and me are a deadly combination of madness. We had found a magical torch. She told me it could be used to find secret passages. She's very good at understanding what hings are for, sure better than me. My idea was that on going down the crypts. I thought so because she told me the place had been polished from evil.

As a matter of fact, what we did not know, or even consider at all, was the problem of that bloody torch which suddenly expired. We thought to look for a way further down. Many demons and nice ladies, and hell cats and dogs, and imps, were against us. We managed most of them. We felt powerful enough to go on. That was our greatest mistake, overestimating ourselves. Unfortunately is something we do so often and I'm beginning to believe it will be part of ourselves for ever. As a matter of fact we died. But our friend Regno with the help of our god Zakhata helped us once again and we could go out with him. We praised Zakhata and wen to rest. I slept so much that I did not find her at my side when I woke up.

When Emilia was teaching me some ways of life, she told me a Darkonian proverb I still remember. It sounds like "Errare humanum est, sed perserverare est diabolicum" and means something like that making mistakes is part of the human condition, but making more than once the same mistakes is devilish. Threice went down there again alone. And met a fiend. She later told me. The fiend wanted to kidnap her and I don't know how she managed to go out. But she promised him to fetch him a powerful priest. Otherwise he could have the power to make her stop loving me. That could not be. We had to solve that matter as soon as possible. She was worried. I had to think to the possibilities. The first one was seeking Regno's help, but we both did not want him to die. That meant we should have gone with him and tried to defeat the fiend. Another option was to flee from Village Barovia. But that was our home and we are quite bored to keep on fleeing from things now that we have settled down. The third option was to go to Vallaki and seek the help of other priests, like those of the Church of Ezra.

I had another reason to go back to Vallaki, actually. It is the period of the year in which I first met Threice. In all this time she has literally covered me in gifts. I know she's rich and on our way back to Vallaki, speaking about Borcan nobility, I understood that in Borca she would have been able to buy a Baroness title. Silly is my Threice. She's finally found a nickname for me, she calls me her Princess. Nobody called me that way. We are not nobles though. And in Barovia I don't think you can buy titles. We could move again to Borca. She should hide there too though, I should have to dye my hair once again and to have them cut, as when I have been in Krezk. The reason I wanted to come back to Vallaki, besides looking for Ezra's help, was to keep in touch with Red Vardo agent Lila. I ordered her something I would have liked to give to Threice.

Ezra's anachorites in Barovia are far different from Borcan ones. In Borca Ezra's cult is a state religion, and that means it's the norm to follow her teachings. And in our trading mind, the precept "help others in order to have their help in future" often means you have to hand them small or large money donations. Here in Barovia they are looking for real believers. I'm not, Threice's not. As a matter of fact, my lies and her pretending to be deadly frightened did not work with them. I thought the priest almost was offended by my hints to give them money to help us. We are followers of Zakhata, though I have not been still initiated. Actually Threice and me are quite doubtful on any god at all, but we could not accept the priest's proposal to make an oath to follow Ezra's cult. She's a witch and we're lovers, something could not be accepted by Ezrite and something which could put us in further troubles if discovered. When many months ago I asked Corporal Zarovan about religions in Barovia she replied me that they have no real power to persecute people. However if you are a believer I think they could do something within their cult. Not safe at all.

Tired and deluded we moved to the Blue Water. There I met Lila. We entered the inn and told Threice to go in a room where I would have followed her. She told me to hurry because she could fall asleep. I had my bargain. Lila handed me the greatest shiny stone I have ever seen and I handed her a bag with some thousand of fangs, maybe half of my whole savings actually. It was worth the price, though. I told her I would have asked for her services again in the future. She told me she knew Threice by name. I frowned. Nevertheless she told me she meant no harm to her. I really wanted to believe her.

I found Threice sleeping. I woke her up, holding the stone in my left hand and behind me. I told her I had something for her. She wanted to know what. I told her to guess and she had three questions to make me to have some hints. She asked "What is it?". I smiled at her and explained what sort of questions should she have made. She asked me if it were something to eat. I replied she possibly could eat it but I was not sure she could like it. Then she asked if it was a big thing. I replied it was small because in my hand but I hoped it to be large enough for her. At last she made me the question I was waiting for "Is it shiny?". I asked her to close her eyes and open her hand, and i handed the cold and big stone in it. When she opened her eyes and saw the diamonds, almost she remained without words. I told her it was only a small thing to remember my love. I told her many things. She was happy, and I was happy too. For a little while we could forget about our demon-problems. She told me she had never seen a so shiny stone. I replied I once sang her she had diamonds on the inside, but I wanted her to keep one also as a memento of her beauty and my love for her. We enojoyed our love once again.

I've woken up now and I'm writing this. I think I have to put down the song so that she can wrap the diamond with it and when looking at it she can read and think about me singing it. Or maybe she can learn to sing it with me, who knows. The song is this:

; I knew a girl
Her name was truth
She was a horrible liar
She couldnt spend one day alone
But she couldnt be satisfied
When you have everything
You have everything to lose
She made herself a bed of nails
And shes planning on putting it to use
But she had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
Diamonds

A candle throws its light into the darkness
In a nasty world so shines a good deed
Make sure the fortune that you seek
Is the fortune that you need
Tell me why the first to ask
Is the last to give every time
What you say and do not mean
Follows you close behind

She had diamonds on the inside
She had diamonds on the inside
She wore diamonds on the inside
Diamonds
Diamonds

I will sing to her again. And she will like it. And we'll love each other again and again.

(// Ben Harper, "Diamond on the Inside" for the lyrics)

[DM Tarokka]

We're in Vallaki, again. It seems we cannot help to come back in this bloody place. They have been very troubled days and I did not have any spare time to write in this journal. I've been very upset the most of my time and did not feel like writing. It happens that writing often calmes me down, this time I had more the urge of be looking for killing. I had many meeting in here in these days, from the paladin Brugyn to my Red Vardo friend Lila, from Wilhelm to Rainn.

The talk with Brugyn was quiet up to a point, that is when I confessed him about my love. He seemed one willing to help us, to protect two weak maidens as he himself had said. Yet the fact it was forbidden, by law and maybe by his own sense of morality, stimulated his pure mind to stop offering his help. Pure people will never help us, we're too lusty and greedy for them, two things that in Borca would lift us up at the higher ranks of society. But Barovia is dull, that's what I've always noticed. I hoped it was a bit less dangerous, but it's maybe the most dangerous place I've ever visited. I would like to flee again and take her with me, but I'm trying to react, I cannot run away for ever.

Wilhelm told me Nairahs was after me. I almost had forgotten my she-demon mistress. Almost. Actually I had been gathering some information for her, but I was not looking forward to meet her again. He told me that she had not be asking impossible missions to do and I had not to worry too much about her, if I kept on doing my job. He had revealed her where I could be found. He advised me not to let her know about Threice. As a matter of fact she found before her than me. And saved her, somehow. And ordered her and to Mash to work for her as well. Eventually she found me too. She tested me. I had been quite useless as an informer, she hinted. She tested my skill with the sword and my innate magical powers. She called them "bardic" magic, a word I had never heard of. She told us she would have taught us and protected us. I was puzzled. As a matter of fact I was a bit relieved. I was with Threice in this, the she-demon seemed not wanting to kill us. Still, at least. Her ways are unknown to us, but she has give us more time. She told us to find a man. We both know him. We'll look for him.

Threice was involved in this for my fault. Nairahs was after me. This does not mean Threice is innocent in making troubles. When in Vallaki she disappeared almost beside me while I was bargaining a ruby to give her with Lila. And Lila felt sick suddenly, slipping on the floor and speaking to herself as if some invisibile enemy was sitting on her belly. In this mess, what my love thought was best to do was sneaking away from me. I did not waste time though, I asked for the help of the Red Vardo agent there at Murnu's and I went to the very place I was almost sure I could find her. And there she was. Speaking to a man. I wanted to kill them both, there, with a couple of strong blows of my sword. Luckily I kept my will of mind and I told the man to go, and when speaking to her I cried.

The reason she had sneaked was clear, even though I struggle with my mind to consider it mentally sane. In the previous days in Barovia we had passed some days of real fun, as we had had not for so long. We met some friends of her such as the dwarvess Rela, but most of the time we could dedicate to ourselves. She was shiny happy for the diamond, I proposed her to tattoo ourselves. I would have tried to make one to both of us. I had plenty of tattoes along my body and I had seen making them a lot of times, so I thought something I could have learnt. In spite of that I had not precise instruments and I had to use a knife. My concentration and discipline helped me to keep calm. Threice was so good at not moving in spite of the pain I was inflicting her. The purple colour was fastly poured on the healing wounds. I carved on lower part of her belly an I and an N standing for my name and surname, in the form of a butterfly with spotted wings. The draw was not too bad, but she needed to have it bandaged for some days. As far as the tattoo I made on my own thigh it was another matter. Maybe I understimated the fact it was harder to do one by myself. It should be a T in a form of a heart, but the borders are to dizzy, the blood has coagulated too fast. By the way I have to refine it.

These tattooes brought us to show them to Rainn some days later at Vallaki, shortly before I met Lila and Threice disappeared. My love has always been concerned about her beauty. Even during the period of the curse which was almost killing us for good, she had bothered me about her being fat and ugly, while my very bones were collapsing. She had the urge to know by someone if the tattoo made her prettier or uglier. Rainn was the first one we met and we knew so we showed them to him. He replied us that he knew how to make better tattooes since he had been learning it for long. We were strangely friendly and arranged to have he make one on both of us. But then mayhem happened. I don't know if Rainn did it willingly or not -I may suppose for the first possibility- but he told her she was not the prettiest around. She creid and attempted to turn invisibile and run away for the first time. Rainn went away. I persuaded her to stay with me, no sense would have been for her going around at night doing who knows what.

Yet, profiting of some minutes I was dealing with Lila and she fled. I was mad at her. When I found her I cried and yelled at her. She tried to tell me I was caging her, as if taking care for her going at the Lady's at night was only that. I gave her an "aut aut". After some minutes she decided for the best and followed me. We talked a lot along our way back to Vallaki and stopped at the groove where Regno had told us to wait for him the day of our marriage. I talked a lot to her. I told her that I had had the feeling to speak to the walls and not to her. She had sensibly improved in her behaviour since the first times we met, but she had come back recently in very silly actions, potentially troublesome for the both of us. For the very first time I doubted about her love. I wanted to leave her. She spoke me about Flower, the rag doll she had given the Vistani Madame as her most precious thing. It was her only link with her past left. She told me that Flower spoke and advised her how to act. She needed a Flower to advise her when I was not with her. Later I found a rag doll in a shop. I told her to call it Imo, so maybe she would have remembered my words. I was struggling with myself not to hit her. I'm not a male, I don't act that way. Yet, I should have done it.

As a matter of fact she sneaked away from me once again, from Midway, she told she was forced by some people to follow them. And they robbed her. They robbed her of a gift for me on which she spent a lot of money. Later she dealt with Rainn and Alka. She killed Alka, one of her few friends, only because Rainn had tolt she was prettier than herself. And Rainn hit her. I must confess that when she told me about that I could not help to sympathize with that man because that urge was in my very hands for some days. What he attempted to do later was not right, though, and as soon as I can I will have a couple of words with him. Now I am seriously concerned about Threice. I do love her, more than myself. She promised me not to get willingly in troubles again. She seems to let her brains on a bed before going out sometimes. I know sometimes it's not her fault, but for sure this behaviour does not help. I hope that the doll Imo will help her.

Now we're in Vallaki and I found time to write in my journal at last. She is very tired. She has been killed by moving trees, similar to the ones I once saw in Forlorn and Sithicus. With a great effort I managed to get her body and run away. The closest place where having her raised was Vallaki and this is why we're here. But she's still weak and I have to wait for her to be fully recovered. I'm struggling to myself not to sleep, being awake she cannot sneak from me. She promised not to do so. We must come back to Barovia where our mistress waits us. I told Threice she can play the fool with me, luckily I'm always ready to forgive her sooner or later. But she cannot play the fool with our mistress.

It's a long since last time we could share a bed and some fun together. Maybe this is why I feel so nervous now. I must recollect my feelings and thoughts. She is my love, I won't leave her. She's driving me crazy, though. Making love is for sure the main field in which we always agree. The lack of this is worsening the things. There are more important matters to deal with. In spite of this I must recover our love, I must recover my feelings, I must recover myself, in order to protect her from her very self. We're troubled girls in a troubled country, our only concern is to be alive and happy: it seems a harder aim than to defeat the Falkovnian army. I'm a fighter and an actress. I will fight for us and sing our own praise. And we'll be together, in pain and pleasure, for the rest of our days, in spite of everything and everyone. This time I won't retreat.

[DM Tarokka]

I kept calm again. This time our journey to Midway went as it always should have been. She was nice, lovely and caring as she had not been for many and many days. She made my nerves and muscles relax, and we talked a lot. She asked about my tattooes, the older ones. The one of the neck, the vista-chiri, and the one on my chest about Emilia were the ones who interested her mostly. It's really strange this fact. I never proved something like that. I mean, we had been quarrelling and be mean to each other for many days, yet a couple of hours for ourselves seemed to have solved all of troubles. Seemed. Maybe we had solved some little and big problems between us, and that is quite fair since we have been through so many things together, and kept on alive and fine, to be easily forgotten suddenly after a moment of extreme silliness of hers or one of enraging fury of mine. We were both working for a demon and she asked us to do things. She would have stalked us everywhere we would have gone, there's not any sense in trying an escape.We joked a lot there in the pool, she teased me and pretended to cry. We are so silly. We still do not know if we can even enter that place.

She proposed to me to make a proper honeymoon. As a matter of fact just after our marriage we were so stunned by the events around us -our curse, deaths, kidnapping- that our happines seemed not to last and that was not our first concern, being it to keep ourselves alive and safe. During summer we spoke a lot about missing the snow, and now it's winter, and it's good to find a warm place within the cold and loving in there together. She asked me about Mount Baratak. We decided we should have gone there. We sneaked trhough Vallaki trying not to meet anyone because we wanted to stay on ourselves. As often it happened it was a bad idea to leave at night. We were assaulted by many packs of werewolves and Threice fell under their blows. I am getting definitely better at fighting and those "bardic" magic skills, as our mistress called them, are helping me a lot in my fights. I got rid of them, took her body, turned myself invisible and went on to the town. I looked for the place I think is farther from troubles, that is the Church of Ezra at the Noble's District. From there we moved at the Blue Water.

It's most strange that I find myself so often in dealing with Ezra' anachorites. I mean, they was among the many reasons I fled from Borca and still I suspect their dealing with the Baroness who was my mistress the very possible reason of Emilia's death. I could never show her the tattoo I had made remembering her, only Threice had seen it, since after my former lover death I had become almost a saint and almost nobody had seen me naked. I'm sure church of Ezra sooner or later will put me, or better us, in troubles for us being heretic witches. What I can do at the moment and to pretend I'm a true believer. I'm good at pretending if I'm not enraged.

I brought her hand in hand at the Blue Water and there she fell asleep soundly. The trip had been harsh and the fight very violent. She was so fast asleep that she did not even realize at all our mistress intruded in our room and bega questioning me. She gave me many orders to be fulfilled in the following days. To find persons, to deliver messages and to understand some situations happening in Vallaki. Told in this way it seems they are simple things, and of course they are not overexhausting, but that meant to mix up a bit more with people. Later with Threice we had another brief discussion in the lower level of the Lady's where we stayed waiting for the dawn. Luckily it approached soon and no one in the inn was waiting for giving us troubles. Our mistress talked to me. She told me I'm silly and naive. I know I am. Only because I know I have to protect Threice I'm working on myself trying to keep myself a bit more with my head on my neck. She gave me scrolls. I talked her about the place where I was not allowed to enter while Threice could go freely there. Our mistress was deeply interested in that. I told to Threice everything our mistress told me.

We wanted to forget about troubles for a while and headed to Mount Baratak. We wanted to remember our past time together. We went down the beetles cave, the very same place where she took me to test me as a bodyguard. By the way it was me so proud to ask for a test, and there almost I was killed by those bugs. There she revealed her magic powers, while at that time I had almost none in me. I'm fully persuaded that the magics in my blood has come out thanks to my proximity to her. We had a goot time down there. I thought that when we first met she soon realized that I was quite useless as a bodyguard for her. Yet she gave me a job. And later cried when I resigned. And now she loves me, as she says more than I do, but I know in my heart this cannot be possible. Yet, she understood she loved me before than I realized it. I was not simply her toy-guard. I always like to speak about our past moments. It's our story, it's what has made us as we are now: two silly but dangerous young girls.

On our way to the mount we were surprised by night. We had been talking about the Imo-doll I had given her. She told me she spoke. I shrugged. She told me she was mean to her and kept on saying her bad things. Only much later she told me the doll kept on telling her she was ugly and that I meant to leave her. We spoke about that. She told me she would have never stopped me if I decided to leave her. I replied plainly that I love her, and forever, and if that would ever happen she should have fought me back, because for sure something bad had been done to me, some menace or some bad spell. She nodded. By the way night surprised us near a very nice fall where we had been sitting and talking. And bats attacked us. Not bats. Maybe vampires. Longing for our blood and our young bodies. Lots of them. We almost fell under their blows. We ha to run back to the Lodge, but we lost our path. We went to the mount instead. And spiders attacked us. She is very scared by those. We could not go back because it was still night and vampires could be waiting for us. We found a cave at last and entered it.

It was full of undead and of a purple mist in there. The undead were quite easy to get rid of, the mist was another matter because it hurt every time we passed trhough it. They could be crypts, as many we had been exploring together. But it was not so. It seemed more a ruined palace. There were fountains and mosaics and statues. She was able to decypher some inscirptions. I always tell her she's smarter than she seems, her problem being she often forgets her brain in some inn where we had slept. We explored that place. There was a very nice pool which excited us, but that was not the moment nor the place to be thinking about that. As a matter of fact we discovered many thing about that place. We even found a room which was not in ruin, with a sort of letteron a desk we read. Anyway it spoke about people and places we never heard of. There was something on some Nicoleta Von Zarovich, for sure a relative of the Count, but who knows if an ancient relative or a nowadays one. Our struggle to go out was hard but at last we managed. In the next days, we'll keep on our trip to the top of the Mount Baratak. And have finally a proper honeymoon away from the troubles of the world below.

[DM Tarokka]

The place we were visiting was magnificent indeed. It was not the best period to walk there, since it was bitter cold and so many times I was worried to freeze to death. Her protective spells worked finally and kept us quite warm, but the problem was they lasted too shortly under the strokes of the blowing and freezing wind. For this reason we needed to stop now and then in each cave or abandoned house we found. How many falls and clear water ponds we have been found around Mount Baratak! I made her promise me to come back here again in summer and bath in some of those, since it would be great for the both of us.

The best place we found was a tower. It was inhabited by wizards and they explained us they were so far from towns and in a such secluded place because of Barovian narrow mind. Now that I've been living for more than a year in Barovia I cannot think that the choice of those wizards ware the most correct. The tower is very high, has many commodities, and we ourselves enjoyed of the bath house which was in there. Even better than the one at Midway. Maybe it seemed so because bathing in warm water while outside an angry winter was raging was something really satisfying. And afterall, the fine furnitures and lamps, and pictures and painted floor, were of a such fine manifacture which let us think ourselves really as a queen and her princess.

But we had to come back, and we were again in the freezing cold winter heading to Vallaki. We had to stop in an abandoned house. I had only the time to finish reading a note on a table speaking of undead, that we were attacked by them. I was weak and stiff, Threice was too. I fell under their strokes, sadly, and only I got up at the Morninglord's temple in Vallaki, one of the places I usually prefer to avoid, but the most welcomed place after I was revived. We headed to the Broken Bell and along the way Threice kept repeating me about the Imo-doll I had given her. We had been talking about it also along our trip on the mountains and she told me how the doll was mean to hear, telling her bad things, such as how she was ugly and stupid and how sooner or later I would have left her. That was not the truth anyway, but I cannot help stop thinking about the fact Threice could hear a doll speaking. Somehow I slightly believed her, I mean, she has magical powers and she could be able to speak with an object, why not. Or maybe she told me about that only to be reassured because still worried by my reaction of some days ago. As a matter of fact she persuaded me to sell the doll. And after some days she persuaded me to buy it again from the general store where I had left it. The problem is when she tells other people she's speaking to a doll, not everybody is open-minded as me and most of all, no one loves her such as I do. Love allows me to bear even heavier burdens than a possible speaking doll.

Later we headed to the dwarves palace, where long ago I had accepted a mission of finding the reason of those horrible tremors which makes you fall every now and then. Under those filthy caves we met the child Jane who told us she was an adult called Sylvana and the elf Eawin, the mad one. We adventured a while with them then they went away and we watched around in search for treasures. There were some nasty beasts down there, but though killing them all the tremors would not end at all.  On our way up we found our path blocked by some fenches. Threice burnt them and we passed over the ashes. Quietly we headed to Murnu to sell something we had found and there we met a dwarf, another one. We spoke a lot with him, though I have no special sympathy for his race except for their skills at weapon and armor crafting. Threice spoke as a madwoman also to this dwarf, about her doll. Later entered in the shop also a girl who I think I knew so long ago but I could not get her name again. She advised the asylum for Threice. She told also that dwarves at their palace were enraged. A miner had been murdered. An elf and a child were the possible murderers. And two women seen in that place should be considered people not welcomed there. They were clearly talking about us, though we did nothing bad -except burning a fence. I tried to change subject, even proposing to the dwarf a meeting with our she-dwarf friend. I thought it was better to look for Imo-doll again and letting those people alone.

We found it, and we headed to the Broken Bell. We will spend some days more here in Vallaki, trying to perform our mission for our mistress. As soon as we have really great troubles we will go back to Barovia. I miss our room at the Blood. I hope to come back there soon.

[DM Tarokka]

I have lost the last pages of my journal, I burnt them because they were so confusing, I did not have the time to correct her and I preferred to burn them all. I am still confused and a bit mad, too many things have happened recently and they are all potentially dangerous.

I met Rainn and I spent some time with him. Being in Vallaki allowed us to continue the mission for our mistress, though we did not find anyone of the people she asked us to find. I found Rainn and wanted the explaination of what happened between Threice and Alka, and eventually his involvement with the attept of disfigure my love. He seemed cold in that, I could well understand how she is able to unleash the bad temper in everyone. Yet he seemed to have lost the will to live and I offered my help. I even told me more about myself, to explain better how it all happened without a scheme to hurt him at all. Later we went adventuring and met his friend Mark. We went in those woods infested by shadowy creatures and later in some crypts. And there Rainn and I died, hit strongly by some unknown but horrible creatures.

Luckily I had left a note at the Blue Water and eventually Threice joined Mark in rescuing our bodies. We were revived at the Morninglord's temple. Threice wanted me to go away before Rainn was awake again and so we did. The Imo-doll was worsening her behaviour. She kept on speaking to herself, sometimes even yelling, and people continued to wonder if it was the case of letting her at the Asylum. After I rested we decided to look for a new doll. It seems that Imo-doll asked for a male doll as a companion to be quiet. Sometimes it is better not to know many things which pass in her mind because it could be even more confusing. We also met a little she-hin who had questioned as a lot about our "husbands": we were good enough at pretending we were only friends. We met Mark again, some hours later, who accompanied us in our shopping. I had the proof he was a skilled warrior and I pretended to be a weak girl to him. It did not work, my proficienty with the greatsword is improving day after day.

Mark is a shrewd person, though it seems he enojoys our company and moreover he seems also kind to us. We invited him to share a table at the Blue Water with us. We talked a lot about his past, about his elf-wife who did not step in the Mists and how he missed her. I proposed to her to have him as a new bodyguard, since I had been looking for another one with no success. He seemed the right person. We spoke about that with him, arranged the things, decided the wage and finally had our dealt. Being a Borcan I would have liked to have an indenture, but I have learnt here in Barovia would be quite useless. I needed a longer rest, though, and I left them. The new bodyguard would have done his first mission.

As a matter of fact, when I woke up I did not find any note and I did not know where she had gone. This is one of the things which makes me more upset especially when it happens in Vallaki where there are too many places to search. In spite of that I know the places she usually goes, so I waited for her at the Outskirts. Some hours later I could see Mash, our other bodyguard, coming with her corpse on his shoulder. I sighed but it was not the moment of yelling. I waited for her to recover and we went at the Lady's. And there another episode made me feel even worse towards this bloody town.

We were naked in our room, trying to make peace again -yes because the fact the didn't leave the note upset me very much- and someone intruded in our room. They were two guards, the questioned us and searched in our belongings without trying even to let us dress again. Luckily one of them was Recruit Project, whose real name I would have known some hours later, and the episode with guards ended quite soon. They did not even gave us too much trouble for some scrolls and odd, but magical, object they found on us. Once they were gone, it was the time I repeated again I wanted to come back home, to Village Barovia.

I know I behaved madly. It was even worse when we dealt with a Falkovnian man. We went at the temple to reassest us a bit before to leave again. There were many people in there and Imo-doll made her mad again. Even Zacheas felt the urge to inspection her and her doll. He told her the doll was rather normal and probably it was something happened to her recently which had upset her mind. I nodded. There had been -many- recent events which could have worsened her mind. The Falkovnian approached her to ask for some money she owed him for having saved her once. I shrugged. The man had bad manners, and most of all that tattoo marked him as an enemy of Barovia. I was myself at that bridge fighting Invidians with their allies from Falkovnia. I went suddenly mad. How was it possible that guards intrude in the room of two innocent ladies looking for rebels, when a reknown enemy of the country can wander so freely around? I glanced at Project and spoke to him. We even introduce properly with our real names, his being Vladmir Grigori. After having paid the Falkovnian, and having resisted the tempetation of cutting his head in order to erase that foul tattoo from his forebrow, we left at last.

Unfortunately, she was badly wounded by a trap and we had to come back again to Vallaki to having her raised. We went to rest at the Blue Water again. At the first lights of dawn we would have left again. I could not bear a single minute in that town. Mark was waiting for us. Being guarded would have been a better way to travel so far. The fact we had him as a bodyguard relaxed me greatly. I often have to keep my temper and behave finely because of her, and maybe having him, so serious and able, let me free to show my own silliness. As a matter of fact along the trip he reproached us a lot. He even tried to scare us with the possibility that one of us could die, or worse keeping somehow mutilated or paralysed. She frowned, because she did not want that happening to me. In spite of that she seemed to forget soon that menace. As I said her memory is becoming a bit worse.

Mark went particularly mad in one occasion. After we had crossed the bridge at the Tser Falls -and we asked to him too to be buried together, in a hopefully very far future, in that very place which was -our- place- we rushed to look for the fair ladies who usually have a lot of shinies. It was night, though, and instead of them there were huge shadowy creatures who attacked us. Mark shouted us to get back, but we rushed headlong against the creatures getting rid of them. I suspect it was the very first moment he thought to resign. I had proved on myself that same feeling, only to come back to her because I fell in love. In an attempt to teaching a better behaviour, Mark spoke more about himself and revealed us some secrets. He even told us he would have killed us if anyone would have ever known of that. I won't write about it in the journal, not letting any written evidence of what he revealed.

Finally we reached the Blood O' The Vine and I sung for my companions. Mark was particularly enjoying my performance, or at least it was what it seemed to me. It was a song about our somehow childish love who turned to be eternal. We talked about Rainn. He told me things I had ever known about the moments in which Threice and he left each others. Mark made an important part on that. She had never given me full details. I'm beginning to think she know far better me than I know her. The talk we two had later made me worry even worse about that.

He left us on our own and she revealed me of having met again Alka. She had told her she had seen Krystal. That was no possible. She had been murdered by guards. Threice wanted to check. She did not tell me earlier because she had seen me too upset to come back to Vallaki so soon. I sighed. For two reasons. I was very worried. Krystal had been her first love, the very one with whom she had stepped in the Mists, the one who remembered a lot about her past. I could not stop worrying about the fact a possible coming back of Krystal could take Threice away from me. She tried to reassure me, telling that after all that we had passed together, our plans, our doom, that could not be possible. In spite of that I was worried anyway. Nevertheless I would not let her go to Vallaki alone. And gave her some intructions not to turn me mad at her. She nodded and promised to follow them I promised if she had done so, I would have been the less mad possible. I would not have left her alone with Alka, because I was too worried she could have a little revenge on her. And I wanted to know about Krystal. I know how much she means for her, I want to see and check if she means more than me. I hope this trip to Vallaki will be the last for a very long time. We're halfway now and I'm already longing to come back to Barovia. We will see what it happens.

[DM Tarokka]

//OOC: feel free to comment if you have something to say on all written til now.

[DM Tarokka]

Many people coming to Barovia recently. I don't find it particularly bad also because we actually need to meet more people, and somehow I find myself at home at the Village and I usually feel less nervous about her being in danger. As a matter of fact I recenlty sneaked to Vallaki and back in a few hours only for some business which involved some shiny gems for her. I also asked Lila, the Red Vardo agent with whom I deal most of my business, for a male doll: as a matter of fact, our bodyguard Mark has provided her a male doll as well. I though that this could somehow improve her mind, but maybe I was wrong. Indeed now there are two dolls speaking to her mind, and they seem to have feelings, a story. I had to justify her behaviour to a Morninglord priest telling him this was our way to protect ourselves against the evils of this realm, to pretend to be still a child and fancy about things. We always fancy about things. It's funny, it's romantic. Unfortunately some of the will remain only fancies.

We tried to make friends with some couples recently, two hins, their names being Ash and Shannon, and two humans, Kane and Zareta. Wit both couples the things did not go very fine actually, in my opinion. We invited the hins for a dinner in one of our "homes", the cave of the nymph. They simply did not like it calling it simply a cave. Well, we know it is, but we're planning to make it in order once we can kick out for good those who often squatter in it. Fancies. They were scared by our behaviour and they thought we were evil witches only meaning to kill them. For a moment I thought they were almost about to attack us. Ash told many lies to evade the situation and at last we let them go. With Kane and Zareta, Threice made a show with her dolls, while I was lying on the bed still confused and dazzled from a recent raise. I even fainted on the ground in the Village for lack of proper rest. They for sure thought we are mad. We had to sort out the story we are married to men who are always away for business and for self protection we share a room together in Barovia. Sooner or later this lie will be discovered.

It has not been all flowers in this period, rather it has been a bed of roses and thorns. We fell sometimes fighting fiends and only our very good luck brought us safe and alive, without curses or permanent scars. Mark is always advising us to be safe, but since there is he protecting us, somehow I lowered my guard, relaxed and share her silliness. The greatest problem we had was with the fake child Jane, her true name being Sylvana, and Zakhata followers. We're supposed to be Zakhata's followers as well, but we betrayed them. And now they will come for us, I'm sure. Ry, the man who we were supposed to find for our mistress, had caught her. Regno made us understand where the body possibly would be. We caught it. Someone saw, probably Ry himself. And in all that, that bloody child did not even thank. Instead she began to tease and menace me. I had to get rid of her. Mark helped. Threice discovered what we were doing.

I have to think more on that and I don't know if I'll write it down on this journal. I'm sick at people intruding bewteen us. This time I though she was leaving me for good, choosing to help that ungrateful and bloody girl, rather than being on my side. She even attacked me. Well, with a weak spell which I could easily evade. But she did. And threw away the gems I carefully bought to her. I'm spending money only for her, almost nothing for myself. She even called for her Ruby and scared a commoner. She was mad at me. I was at her. We quarrelled. Mark assisted us. He's not paid for being a matrimonial consullor though and sooner or later will yell at us and resign, I'm almost sure of that. He got again the gems and handed them to me. She had previously gave me a bouquet of roses, being invisible.

People are hurting us. Sooner or later we'll have our revenge on those ungrateful commoners. We're fine ladies, nice and pretty, not meaning any harm to anyone. Yet, everybody seems to mean that to us. We're planning an eternal life together. We were on the edge of splitting up, and this time I really thought she would have left me. It did not happen. And later she seriously risked her life to save and rescue me. We're in love. I will do everything I can to protect ourslelves. Everything I must. And she'll be at my side. Forever.

[DM Tarokka]

Things are never easy between us. Sunshine and rainy weather go hand in hand together all the time. We spent some time in the Village, risking our life pretty much, as if we were looking for a sudden death rather than wither and finally die. Over our limits, a life on the edge as usual, with poor Mark who tries to persuade us not to rush in those situations. Since he is regularly working for us I have become almost as silly as her and I'm ready to follow her in the most tricky situations. The fiends under Barovian crypts, the Ice Queen and a Lich were only some of three of our most dangerous tasks performed lately. The fact I'm here and writing means I'm alive and she's as well. For how long? I mean, sooner or later we'll die, for good, or we'll grow old, never be pretty again. We heard rumours. We are allured by what we heard. We'll try in every way possible to fulfill our only desire. Even if that would mean our eternal damnation. I have any other reason to live.

Unfortunately we're subdued to a demon-mistress and she caught me recently. She scared me. She told me I'm useless. She threatened me. Actually she threatened to harm Threice, which was even worse. So I tried to execute her orders. Willem was not an easy person to deal with. I didn't manage to persuade him to meet her. She told me to go again and fetch him to her by using my force. I met Willem so many times in the past, he's a boyar guard and very strong indeed, I've seen him in fight. I tried again to persuade him at the pub in the docks. It was useless. We had a fight. Someone tried to help me. I fell under his powerful strikes. I revived only to see her holding Willem with a powerful spell, me and Ry -that was who was trying to help me- weak and helpless. She threatened Willem. He didn't give up and did not tell her what she wished to know. She left and told us to meet her later in her refuge. Ry would have led me there. Willem went away eventually. I'm scared. He can denounce me. Another damned problem in this bloody town of Vallaki.

Mark had been following me for all the time, though I told him this was not his concern and it could be really dangerous for his health. He's really a good guard. I would be very sad to let him resign for all the dangers we are putting him in. We discovered many things in common. We told ourselves our past. I told him about my real past. He knows. He did not express moral opinions on me. I was following Ry and they argued. Ry seemed not to remember what we had done with the corpse of Sylvana. Or he was simply pretending. I ordered Mark to stop and deliver a message to Threice at the Lodge. I followed Ry to the lair of Naihras. She was harsh to us and taught some spells to Ry. I felt like a fish out of the water. I had to come back to Threice. Nairhas told me she would have been glad to hear me singing once... and she would have had a talk with Threice, but her tone was not really comfortable.

I met her. She was mad at me. I cried again. We talked. I gave her two presents, a necklace and a crystal flower. She liked them very much. She talked me about Krystal. I was worried if she ever came back she would have taken her away from me. She tried to reassure me on that. She managed. But still I feel a pinch on my heart on the only thought I could ever lose her. The dolls kept on saying bad things to her. This was why she was mad at me. My nerves are getting day by day worse. Now wer are headed again to the Village, hoping not to have problems for a while. Hoping. But I doubt of it. I want to stay for ever with her. But who wants to live forever when love must die?

[DM Tarokka]

Really I did have no time at all to write in this period, things seem to be happening so quickly and by the way I'm beginning seriously to worry about myself, since I'm behaving in a way I have difficulties to recognize myself. I've been so stupid to make a deal with an imp. He promised me wings, to fly. The only thing I have been thinking about all this time has been flying above Tser Falls lightly with her at my side. As a matter of fact I involved her too in my deal. But the wings he gave us are only dead wings, unable to develop, very painful to have on our back, and only to be removed as soon as possible. This is what Firimae, Wilhelm and Mark told us in three different occasions.

Firimae is a nice girl, Threice told me is going out somehow with Mash, and at first she seemed to me quite naive. In fact I fooled her for a while pretending to be mean. Oh, actually I was really mean as I always am when I suspect of someone. And at the moment I'm suspecting of everyone. Yet, she  was not as she appeared, being in battle at her side against a little army of undead. She is a Morninglord priestess and her help was really needed to stop them. Unfortunately I slashed her in two after that a kind of spirit blocked my mind and made me do what it wished. Now she's fine. We talked a lot. I hope to have found a new friend. We are desperately in need of new friends. She'll help us to have our dead imp wings removed. She did not accept the deal with the imp. I had given it my sword Kitty. Threice many of her shinies.

We only met for a bit Wilhelm who persuaded us as well to have them removed as soon as possible. Yet we thought we could make them somehow undead to keep on having wings. We like them afterall. Threice even got mad at me when she discovered I had wings and her not. We quarrelled. I decided to behave even more madly than her and I almost attempted suicide. Nevertheless later it all resolved, as usual, making peace, and crying, and holding us together. It always happened this way. We are lucky in our bad luck. Bad things happen to us but we always find a way to go through them. I hope it will be this way for long. We had just escaped from a meeting with a bossy and huge fiend, the same one Threice had met once and was ordered by him to fetch him a cleric. It killed me. Asked for her soul. It let us go. Later I met the imp, probably a sort of his vengeance on us. The reason why of that it could only know, since he had been having us in its power, and we were quite helpless to be dispatched of quite easily. He even burnt doll Imo and Threice is still whining about that. Who knows if we can have her come back to us. Maybe it's better it burnt it. Soonoer or later something bad would have happened to her as well. Mister L, the male doll, is desperate. He does not speak to Threice anymore. He was the doll Mark made for us.

We did not have our faithful bodyguard Mark at our side for all this time. Maybe he would have counselled us more wisely on our decisions. Mark sometimes can be boring, but I really feel safe when he is with us. He had been away from us because he told us to have been attacked and killed and crucified by a group of undead at the outskirts of Vallaki. But he's alive and that is what concerns me most. The fact that Vallaki and above all the outskirts are dangerous actually did not need another proof. Anyway Threice behaved more carefully there. We were going to the Lodge to go to meet vampires. Another of our silly dreams like the one of wings and flying. Who knows what will happen.

My wings are aching. Actually it is my back to ache. I got drunk to kill the pain. I only ended almost to quarrel with her again. We lay on the bed together. And she gave me a gift. A cloak to be used when I perform. She told me it was given to her by a very special person. Krystal. Her friend and former lover. The one who may even not be dead. The one who knows more about her past. The cloak, I recognized it easily, was handmade in Borca, my homeland. Threice did not know about that. I smiled. It seemed somehow that our destiny had begun to link us far before we even met each other for the first time. We'll follow our dreams and try to make them come true. Should I fall from grace, will you leave me too?, I asked her. She replied me she will follow me everywhere. And so wil I. Even if we should fall from grace, we'll do it together.