☀︎ Tender thoughts ☀︎ - Cordelia Beoulve

[Cakies]

A leather-bound journal nestles safely within the obscurities of a bag. Upon its cover is a symbol of a six-pointed Sun, glistening in waxen gold, and within tender thoughts are sketched into the pages, quilled with delicate care and patience. This is her silent sanctuary, where harmonious reflections bear the earnest truth of the dawn priestess of Pelor. Spoiler: show Commissioned Art by Inoue! Click here to view the full picture.

[Cakies]

Design journey inspired by Bunnie!

CONSTERNATION  |  CONFUSION  |  REFLECTIONS In a dream, I found myself submerged, cradled by an eerie stillness beneath the water's edge. I wasn't drowning, but rather silently waded through the currents. My body felt heavy, burdened as I sank deeper... and my heart felt empty. ... I vividly recall the day of my arrival here. That familiar dread of despair, before hope found me again. My sisters and I were returning back home when the mists swiftly rolled in like a surging sea, shrouding us and my visions went dark. Since that day, I have made... a mentor, friends. Such wonderful friends. I truly have been blessed to meet such incredible people. Their care of me is more than I could ever ask for. The festivities that we shared together, of ceremonies, Nevermore Nights, the Spring Celebration. These are moments of which I will treasure. I think I might have nearly fainted at the prospect of stepping on stage, but seeing how all those who attended, remained vigilant, contributed and performed came with open hearts... I can at least bring those memories with me. I know not when Saer Aramiss, Saer Gerald and I will depart for Dementlieu, but it would be soon. And before then, I do wish to be able to fulfill Sister Arshtat's request. To say I am without fear would be untrue. ... I need to be stronger. When I heard that voice echoing in the recesses of my mind, threatening to shatter my thoughts into a thousand pieces. I was... scared. It gripped me — a fear that I might inadvertently make yet another mistake, a mistake I cannot undo... a mistake that would cast another weight upon me too heavy to bear. The Sun Father's morninglight has offered me a second life even as I struggle to find clemency. Are you... truly always watching? What... do you see? Why... me? Summer blooms and nature does flourish so. The heat of the sun embraces the earth in a golden warmth, even while it rains as much as it does in Barovia. While we may be gone for a short duration, a proposed week... I will miss it here. I pray no harm to come onto others when we do leave. I pray that... we will find the answers we need, so they need not worry of me. I only wish to see them smile.   ♫

"If you ever need me." "You are so much stronger than I believed." "Know that you are not alone. I'm here for you..." "Whatever this thing is. It has provoked the wrath of an entire army!" . . . "I have a dozen eyes, C̸̻̈́̿͒́̃̎͐̽͝Ò̷̡̨͌͒͋R̸̦̯͎̹̮̗̫̻̅͐͝Ḏ̵̼̘̏Ȩ̶̻̜̻̼̍͊͌́̃͆͛̈͌͜͝L̶̩̠̹̬̳͂̾Ì̵̧̢̮̳̭͖͔̫̗Ā̶̫̼͇̐͝!"

[Cakies]

SOLACE  |  ENDEARMENT  |  CONSOLATION                Main imagery updated as the commission is complete! I remember joyous times. Those moments where the sound of laughter filled the halls of the church. Those moments with feathers in my hair after a little bout with my sisters in our shared room. And in those tranquil moments just before sunrise, I would sit by my window and admire just how beautiful life is. Even in this land, where it does feel... cold, sinister... claws scrapping upon the walls, creatures and shadows, voices Even my heart pains for all the loss of others experienced, life can be found here too. Life must be cherished, life can be loved. I can offer care onto others, as the dawn does with me. With all of those whom I have met, I hold onto the warmth encapsulated in those memories, old and new. Morning comes in six hours. I wonder about everyone's preferences for their first breakfast meal with the year's commencement, I heard their doors closing as they retire for the night, I should do the same soon. But, something hearty perhaps. Something whole to start. A collection of the ingredients I ordered has arrived not too long ago. I shall try to sleep so I may awake early to prepare. Oh I had forgotten to — No, never mind. I will see them tomorrow. ... Goodnight. ♫

[Cakies]

Design journey inspired by Bunnie!

"Perhaps, this message is better one written as it will make more lasting the sentiment: Thank you Cordelia for every joy you brought me here, I couldn't wish a better sister. I won't worry much for the faithful, knowing you're here."

ANGUISH  |  WISTFUL  |  ... RELIEF As I stepped upon stone to hear the commanding call to witness, my heart dropped to the depths of my stomach. I hoped, I prayed... With every moment and every breath ever since that evening. I could not bear myself to watch, to see. The sound of metal striking and cutting bone... the immeasurable pain. Once I knew it all came to an end, I turned then. And my eyes met with Saer Rahela's. They displayed such profound exhaustion, lacking any clarity of white as they were rimmed with red. Her watchful gaze bore the weight of her responsibilities, and she continued to maintain her resilience and unwavering resolve. I could see... a sorrow. As for my heart. I am unable to explain how one is able to both anguish and relief. Seeing Sister Arshtat and Saer Reynauld, laying upon the grass as their blood pooled from their wounds. I was... so happy they were able to live. With the help of Saer Torbek, we guided them away. It hurt me that I had to leave Sister Mischa behind yet... part of me knew that she would be cared for from a distance. I had to ensure that security and a safe passage was made across the mists. The Sun Father offered his radiance upon us. It was an endeavor I had never attempted before, and it worked. I needed it to work, no matter the exertion. I am so grateful that it did - we could speak after, sharing words of warmth which shall remain in my memories. I worried for Saer Reynauld though there was assurance of a temporary solution. ... When it was time, I struggled to let them go. The Eternal Dawn will feel emptier without them. I wish we could have continued living together. I wish I could turn back time, I wish I could have done so much more. But at the very least, I am... relieved that I would be able to see them again. One day, soon. I will continue to offer my aid to those in need, as Sister Arshtat and Saer Reynauld have done. There will always be a new dawn. The promise of hope, renewal. I must hold on tightly. ♫

[Cakies]

WEARY  |  SOOTHED  |  GRATEFUL                Spoiler: show Commissioned Art by blaise_rmd! Click here to view the full picture. We returned recently, and the memories of past days will stay with me. I lost track of the days we were away from Barovia, Vallaki—it all happened so suddenly. We had little time to prepare. There was no safety. So much blood soaked through the sands. My heart ached, wishing our attackers would see reason... I almost feared losing those dear to me. That fear gripped me, and I'm grateful my prayers were answered by my Sun Father. But at times... the words directed at my friends by others were difficult to hear. Derision, apprehension... I only hope they may find compassion for those they encounter one day. Nonetheless, my companions and I were together. That is what I repeated in my heart, my mind and as I spoke. I trust in our shared strength, for burdens are not meant to be borne alone. Despite our diverse backgrounds, we shared a simple desire: to end the suffering of others. Its virulent words did not reach me. Its efforts to twist my mind, I doubted myself once before - a long time ago - but never again. And while news received had brought some unrest, I know we will put ourselves forward once more. I wish to see Sister Arshtat and Saer Reynauld soon! I do wonder what would be a suitable gift for their union. Decor? Knitted blankets? A flower crown? I shall think of it carefully! For now, Saer Gerald, Saer Aramiss and I will continue our duties here. A vigil evermore. Don't forget to restock on ingredients, especially potatoes and carrots. ♫

[Cakies]

SENTIMENTAL  |  SERENE  |  PROMISE Much has happened since I last wrote. Since our return to Barovia, we were faced with much joy... yet worry, and sorrow. It only seemed like yesterday where we all gathered beneath the sanctuary, to speak of our parts, to speak of the days to come and what must be done. Yet, now I will no longer be able to see some of them again. To read what was shared, a remembrance of the unpredictable nature of loss, of cherished things being taken away. To hear their names again, I am only grateful to have known them and shall keep them in my prayers... ... This medal we were given, I am far too timid to wear. I had decided to keep it amongst my belongings, somewhere safe and to keep it close to me so that I may never forget. Walking amidst the attention of ceremonies is unfamiliar to me. I had managed to not falter with a misstep as my feet felt stiff when I stood. Though, with such a reunion, it was good to see that others are in good health. The event that followed was filled with joy, I regretfully had to depart due to the exhaustion of these few days. Nonetheless, witnessing Saer Rahela's surprised expression upon her arrival brought great delight. It was heartwarming to see a remarkable woman modestly tucked away behind the curtains, even so I'd likely faint if I was in her position! I do wonder what Saer Valerian's response would be to see her in such a way... Ah, but another wonderful learning is how Barovian cuisine has proven to offer such a diverse array of flavors. Its deep richness provided a comforting balm to both the spirit and the heart. ... I do genuinely hope I had done it justice. As I write this entry, my emotions fluctuate. They sway between the weight of grief we have carried and the joy we have discovered. For this moment, joy does embrace me. Old friends, and new ones made. My heart leaps with cheer in the presence of a sister of my Sun Father whom I recently met! I long to spend as much time with her as possible... and in particular, my chest swells with a warmth of which I never thought I would ever feel... I wish to hold onto this happiness, while remembering those of whom we have lost. Memories do live eternal. ♫

Consideration to publicly offer care packages (??) Add seasonal menu items (!) Ask of Saer Aramiss to tailor a stuffed bear Letters to Dementlieu Another trip to Dementlieu