Author Topic: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len  (Read 2297 times)

Janarah

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(it's unlikely that anyone will ever see this journal iccly, but, here it is for fun.)





*This journal is tattered, worn, and falling apart, the hand writing is barely legible elven script and very erratic, the ink smeared by some liquid and several drops of blood.*

The last dream. . .I was finally captured in the nightmare. . .dragged into the mists. . .by something. The chains burn. . .


My first thoughts sensations here were skewed maybe?

Wet. . .cold. . .soft. . . grass?
I awoke, there was one moon. . .soft grass. . .cold rain drenching my hair and face. . .light and noises blurry in the distance, they sounded real. . .warm. . .it's just another trick though, some facsimile of the nightmare Lorac caused when he used that damn orb. Fool of a king, fool of a wizard. . .he cursed us all. . .was it all? Once the nightmare began  I never saw another real soul, except mother. . .but that was only in the beginning. Everything in the nightmare is an illusion. . .a real illusion? It hurts, rends, hunts, torments. . .is the nightmare really an illusion. . .? Just keep walking, head down, don't show emotion. . .don't feel. . .slowly walk away, then the nightmare might not notice you again, it might not try and eat you then. . .
Remember, the nightmare people aren't actually real. . .just nameless figments. . .keep awake, make sure they don't try to eat you. . .or hunt you down . . .or beat you. . .or strip you down and laugh. . .just remain hidden, unnoticeable. . .don't get close to them, it's just another trick after all. . .

Still, that fire in the short distance, it looks so warm, so real. Should I chance it? The worse that could happen is the nightmare eats me again. . .right?
Foolishly I moved forward, after all mother said my foolishness was my strongest trait, after being ugly. . .dumb. . .and a bad girl. I must have been a bad girl a lot, since mother like to punish me all the time and kept me locked in my room. . .I shouldn't have made friends with that kender. . .but it doesn't matter now, mother is gone, she won't bother me any more. . .

These humans, they seem jovial yet. . .there is hidden meaning behind their movements, daggers in their eyes, despite their bright colors and music, but their fire is warm. I can pretend. . .pretend to be a good girl, and they'll let me sit here, near the fire, to stay warm in the rain.


Spoiler for dms, if they want to use this should she get in an event:
Spoiler: show
Info for dms: Belia was actually part of a black robes experiment, completely unaware of the conditioning done to her believing that the torture inflicted on her was done by her mother, she has key words 'good girl', 'bad girl' respectively to make her submissive and subservient. Her broken view of life is that she grew up in the nightmare which was the cured silvanost cause by King lorac's misuse of the dragon orb. She has no real experience with interacting with others, knowledge of church's/religion, doesn't understand love, likes bitter things for food or drink, dislikes sweet things. She is already very submissive, nervous, and doesn't do well with strangers until she gets to know them. Her trade speak is broken, this is more due to her nervous nature than it is her intelligence, she actually speaks several languages. What she wants the most is to be useful to others, but is quickly learning that entails some things she doesn't enjoy. She doesn't trust gods, as she believes she was abandoned in the nightmare for 70 years and none of her cries of pain or prayers for help were answered. She was fed odd things during the black robes experiment, severely jacking up her diet, but in her mind she believes she ate other elves in the nightmare to stay alive - currently her favorite food is yeti, followed by hag, and goblyn if she absolutely has to. Her conditioning has always been part of her back story, though only a few have actually figured anything out about it so far. She is entirely too easy to trust people currently, and makes poor decisions when it comes to relationships, since she doesn't really understand them. Her main drive is to be useful, and maybe one day have a family, if she can find some one she can fully trust and rely on - she's had bad luck so far in the last bit.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2023, 08:22:00 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #1 on: November 30, 2023, 12:57:28 AM »
The days are wet. . .cold. . .
The trade speak is difficult to understand, the nightmares have names now. . .it must be a trick. . .a new devious trick. . .
Isn't it? Everything is so heavy now. . .not light like before. . .
The humans around seem to take an interest in me. . .one. . Bill?
He touted some nonsense about protecting me. . .from what?
Then. . .he tricked me. . .fooled me into drinking something bad. . .my head is fuzzy. . .stop touching me. . .

I woke in a chair. . not where I . . .passed out?
There was a damp flea infested cloak piled on top of me. . .
I need to get away, unnoticed. . .the nightmares are still trying to trick me. . .after me. . .soon they'll change, with big teeth that bite. . .big claws that rend . . .
I have no real use . . .so why torment me endlessly. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2023, 01:04:10 AM »
The days have passed. . .weeks? I don't know. . .time is still such a blur.
I've come to know some humans. . .and yet, some how I was spirited away again, to some camp in the mists. The wagons go back to barovia, but the way is blocked. . .I'll busy myself in the village. . .
Learn to speak like the locals, listen to their words, their accent . . .learn to be one of them. . .just incase the nightmares return.
They could at any moment, right?
How do I know this isn't just another trick. . .
Why won't any one hear me. . .is my scream to silent, inside?
I'm so hungry. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2023, 01:08:53 AM »
More time. . .more days? The seasons shift. . .I loose track.
The shilling. . .some house elves. . .an alliance? A job?
An attraction?
What was that in my past, some story. . . I don't remember. Did I sleep again?
I'm so hungry. . .

Why am I always so hungry. . .

So tired. . .but sleeping will make the nightmare worse. . .won't it? It always has before. But they say it's fine, that it won't change. . .
Do I trust? It's not just another trick is it? Another trap?

no, focus on the craft. . .I have an apprentice. . .I am an apprentice. . .I have lovers?
I don't understand. . .is this real? It's just another trick. . .mother said. . .to be good. . .

So. . .hungry. . .
« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:47:37 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2023, 01:16:15 AM »
Meek, I must be meek. . . a mouse can hide and steal the cheese. . .
Survive. . .be useful. . .be a good girl. . .
So long as I am good, it won't hurt. . . .right?
Confusion, pain, I don't understand it. . .these feelings. . .why?
It's a trick! Just like mother, it's a trick. . .pain will come. . .punished. . .
So hungry. . .

But. . .they love me? No. . .not if they knew. . .if they saw the nightmare. . .it would be the same, locked away, punished. . .just like mother, right?
Like when she caught me with the kender. . .I didn't mean to. . .but he was so nice. . .so. . .plump. . .
But I escaped the room. . .because the nightmare gave me power too. . .curse or not. . .it keeps me safe when needed.

There is music now, soft, timid. . .a musical flower, waiting to be trampled. . .or picked?
It's calming. . .I can think clearer. . .
Will the flower wilt. . .should I water it?

No, mother said to be a good girl, or it's the whip again. . .
Careful of tricks, they are tricksy. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2023, 07:17:22 AM »
*The page is smeared with some blood, the inked writing only legible with great effort*

Told you, told you! Bad girl! Tricks. . .truth. . .
Told them. . .but only one. . .accepts. . .but. . .I'm learning, learning that what is said is a lie. . .always. . .a trick. . .to lower my guard. . .to trust. . .
One hides from. . .two remain the same. . .one accepts . . .and one falters. . .
Love? Friendship? Mostly lies. . .aren't they?
Tricks to push. . .trick you into being a bad girl. . . trick you into choking. . .trick you into. . .crying. . .trick you - *smeared tear and blood stains*

Saw people earlier. . .many screaming at two. . .something about guarda, but we're not in barovia. . .the many tried to murder the two. . .calling it. . .justice? Calling for. . .a bounty?
Calling one a murderer. . .and expecting. . .all to believe. . .just from saying after boldly attacking and endangering all in mist camp? Reckless. . .dangerous. . .
There seem to be no places. . .of refuge. . .no safe places. . .just more monsters. . .dressed as people. . .just like the nightmares. . .the same?
Tricks. . .lies. . .danger. . .teeth now are swords? Claws. . .shields? But . . .the monsters and nightmares. . .don't give warnings here that they are coming. . .was. . .the nightmare better? Was home. . .actually. . .safer?

I don't want to remember. . .
The past isn't me. . .so hungry. . .all the time. . .
Danger and tricks every where. . .
But!
One can help. . .has promised. . .can make the bad memories go away!
Maybe then. . .I won't be a bad girl any more. . .and others. . .will. . .accept and love. . .right?
No more pain?
« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:45:59 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2023, 07:10:25 AM »
Stay away. . .come to bed. . .time needed. . .but not now. . .
Accepted. . .but looked at with disgust. . .? Am I truly accepted then?
Should I be accepting. . .?
No, it is confusion, anger, frustration. . .just another trick to lure me back in, is it not? Another game to make them feel better, let my own suffering stew. . .grow, become unbearable, just like the hunger. If they need time apart, give it. . .if they want to take me to bed, let them, it's too confusing otherwise. Just. . .do as you're told!
Be a good girl. . .good girl. . .sit, lay down, roll over. . .
Where is my mirror? The fragments need to be put back where they were. . .but, some seem to be missing? The feeling is no longer the same . . .not after the choking. . .the screaming. . .
Be good. . .
Do what you're told. . .starve. . .
« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:44:03 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2023, 02:41:20 PM »
Removal. . .lost. . .it can be forgotten, right?
They say magic can do it. . .why not? It can destroy everything else, why not my memories?
I should . . .maybe give it a try. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #8 on: December 15, 2023, 01:49:02 PM »
Closer. . .closer. . .make me forget. . .
The shattered pieces will vanish away right? I'll have a new mirror?
A new life?
The pain will go away won't it? This confusion? This mistrust?

It must! It's a promise, he said he could help me, fix me, save me from all of this by taking them away. . .
Save me. . .from myself. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #9 on: December 16, 2023, 04:19:12 AM »
Still here. . .with more. . .
What can be forged that won't break?
What trust is there to be had?

I know, now. . .it is known. . .what others want . . .all clear now. . .and understood. . .

But. . .what about me? Do I get what I want?

No. . .no. . .be a good girl. . .you cannot have that. . .
« Last Edit: December 27, 2023, 01:37:26 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #10 on: December 29, 2023, 05:30:22 AM »
Do what you want. . .
Be who you want. . .
Get what you want. . .
Try to have fun. . .

That's what they say. . .the voices. . .the friends. . .the strangers. . .or is it repeating in my head?
Do what you want. . .be who you want. . .get Take what you want. . . have fun

You can do anything you want. . .what you are doesn't matter. . .because people will hate you either way, so stop trying. . .Take what you want, and don't let anyone. . .take it. . .away. . .
Play with your food. . .
« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:42:44 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #11 on: December 29, 2023, 05:59:10 PM »
Flowery words. . .silver tongue. . . spin me your rhymes, tell me of things I don't understand and softer times. . .

Soft caress. . .silk skin. . .love. . .lust. . .passion? Does it matter which?

Pushy . . .pushy . . . pushy. . .using words for shackles. . .profession of friendship is all but a lie, an illusion, trying to trick me. . .tricksy. . .tricksy. . .

Do what you want. . .take what you want. . .keep what you want. . .I want it all. Here, to keep, never to let go.

Mine. . .I won't let it go, they're mine. . .they belong to me. . .
I won't let anyone else have them. . .

And here, I must weave. . .or say, I must be useful, invaluable, give them a reason to stay and never leave. Forever mine. . .


« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:41:40 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #12 on: December 31, 2023, 08:28:43 AM »
*Something about the latest entry seems off, the hand writing shifts in style at several points*

Why do they always ask, then shy away when learning?
Because their favorite food boar. . .is there really a difference? meat is meat. . . right?
Right?!

It's not safe. . .not any more. . .shouldn't have even tried. . .they'll just hunt me. . .hurt me. . .every time. . .
I'm weak. . .hire protection. . .the shilling?
Coin is a language too. . .

Wait. . .she said she'd help. . .then we can both be free. . .and. . .happy?

If they don't let us go. . .what then? We fight. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #13 on: January 01, 2024, 08:08:42 AM »
Free. . .aren't we? They just let us go. . .no argument. . .no demand for coin. . .not even a fight to keep us. . .
It was all a lie after all. . .as always. . .
Trust us. . .we care. . .all lies

Only my flower remains, and my precious. . .students. . .

What for now. . .an offer has been made. . .but, they must accept us all. . .no more lies and false games. . .
A contract. . .with magic. . .perhaps. . .?
Research. . .
I will. . .search. . .protect us. . .
Then, next time. . .they lie. . .it will hurt them too. . .
« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:50:21 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #14 on: January 04, 2024, 07:40:25 AM »
Calm, so much calm of late. . .but with it comes boredom. . .
Random ventures? New friends?
Perhaps, you should seek out new allies, in case they are needed. You never know when others will betray or come after you.

I'm a good girl though. . .aren't I?

No, you are bad, you will always be bad. You MUST be bad.

No, no, I need. . .I need to work. . .silence . . . too much thinking. . .leave me alone. . .
Focus. . .calm. . .silent. . .
Ring the hammer on the anvil. . .
Carve the wood. . .
Cut the leather. . .cut. . .dripping. . .red. . .

Mother said. . .mother. . .said. . .

« Last Edit: January 04, 2024, 07:49:34 AM by Janarah »
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #15 on: January 05, 2024, 03:38:33 PM »
It is not normal. . .these gentle touches? A kiss? An embrace?
Was what I learned after arriving wrong? foolish girl
Should I not do everything in my power to survive. . .as limited as that is? You are just a toy for others amusement, when they get bored they will be rid of you
Stop. . .
So hungry. . .
You should just eat them. . .
No. . .they are friends. . .aren't they? They protect me. . .I just have to keep them happy. . .
Foolish girl, you are just trash to be tossed aside.
No. . .they care. . .for me, don't they?
I can be good. . .I can help. . .

Sometimes the world doesn't need a hero, what it really needs. . .is a monster. . .
I know. . .I'm a monster. . .leave me alone. . .


"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #16 on: January 06, 2024, 07:39:30 AM »
So close. . .so far. . .love? Hate? Fear?

She is leaving. . .but not. . .was this choice wrong? Choosing the things I care about and desire to keep more. . than a solitary bond?
But. . .something was watching. . .tricky. . sneaky. . .sneak. . .
What was heard?
Secrets?!
Secrets are not meant for others. . .
But. . .there is no. . .knowing. . .only one secret is dangerous. . .only one was spoken. . .that. . .puts us. . .in danger. . .
Stupid. . .stupid girl. . .foolish. . .letting your tongue move. . .

But, who left the crude mark. . .friend. . .stranger. . .enemy?!

But. . .others are learning about me. . .am I . . .some spawn? Creation of misfortune?
Some. . .thing. . .
Are their words true? Am I. . .just some creature set upon the world. . .to cause nothing but misery.  . .and ill fortune?
Hate. . .

Am I being. . .followed. . .? Am I. . .prey now. . .again. . .? Just like. . back home?
Grow stronger. . .Then. . .you can devour. . .any. . enemy. . .

So hungry. . .

Not hungry. . .wet. . .warm. . .
I ate. . .again. . .
I need to wash. . .everything. . .good girls. . .stay clean. . .

"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #17 on: January 08, 2024, 07:28:23 AM »
Was I being chased by shadows once more?
I saw the marking. . .didn't I? I saw it!
Not crazy. . .not crazy. . .I know it was real. . .right?

Silver tongue. . .dense. . .unobservant. . .quick to guess wrongly. . .why would I waste valuable reagents for something as simple as a snack?!
But. . .silver tongue's friend. . .his eyes dart. . .they look. . .he is dangerous . . .and beautiful. . . when he isn't a bird. . .
Birdy.  .bird. . .
Silver. . .professes to protect. . .but how? Bold claims. . .but no weight to prove? I will not be locked away again. . .like a bird in a cage. . .under the guise of being 'protected'

What was I doing? What did I want? Do what you're told. . .
Why does it all seem so forgotten. . .so far away? Be a good girl. . .
Do what you want. . .

What did I want?

A family? A home? To survive?
But there are shadows. . .lurking. . .taunting. . .
Aren't there?
I'm not just imagining. . .it. . .it's not just a dream. . .another nightmare?

Should I just be a pet? A slave. . .?
Will that make me happy? What is happiness?
No, he just wants me in a cage. . .just like the rest. . .be useful until tossed aside. . .keep moving. . .one step. . .in front. . .of the other. . .
Try not to stumble. . .lest it means the end. . .

So hungry. . .all the time. . .it's so hard. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2024, 07:39:25 AM »
Classes and words, nonsensical. . .is it a place of learning or . . .just a place for people to pretend?

Nose in the air little fool. . .I see you slinking unseen then pretending it was others who caused insult just to make a scene. . .

You are not as clever as you think you are. . .but it is not me who cares. . .starved for attention. . .hiding your true self. . .are you just a coward. . .or do you wish to deny that you are nothing more than dust in the wind?

Plants and flavors. . .as if a taste has to to do with the effect. . .
Proposals to truth which are nothing but guesses and lies. . .they have no true experience with these things. . .just books and guesses. . .spreading falsehood. . .

Is it wise to spend coin here, when they have demonstrated more ignorance than us?
We could write our own. . .? Would any care?

This reflection looks lonely. . .
Mocking . . .uncaring. . .is it us?

Sneaky sneaks. . .not as sneaky as they think. . .not any more. . .I see you. . .

We must get stronger. . .stronger than those that would hurt us. . .it may not be the nightmares any longer. . .people. . .are worse. . .

I see you. . .

"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2024, 07:33:33 AM »
Traveling steps to find useful things. . . these feet halted near a place of stone and rain, meeting with one we knew of.

Happy it should have been, a greeting, a smile. . .but no. . .
Words of whispers reached us. . .whispers that threaten our very life. . .lies which make this place of stone and rain dangerous. . .
To what purpose?
There is no benefit for them with these whispers. . . nothing to gain. . .only harm. . .and not just to us. . .but those we are near. . .

But. . .it explains the questions of others, questions that made no sense. . .but now we know why they were asked.
We now know who has been whispering lies. . .

There is no need to allow this. . .no. . . all that needs be is to tell friends and allow the truth to ring out. . .then their card castle will crumple on its own. . .and their lies will stop with them. . .

But friends. . .will do their own things. . .they are angry. . .perhaps like us. . .
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #20 on: January 15, 2024, 05:20:25 AM »
He seems lost, distracted? Or perhaps wallowing in self pity? I do not understand humans. . .but it's clearly dangerous to travel with some of them. . .

A trip to the jungle, a chance encounter turned into potential problems for the future. . .the jungle is like the nightmare in some ways. . .filled with dangers. . .and creatures which would leap at a chance to devour you.
The small furry human like things came up, curious, unthreatening, but he had to be mean to them. . chase them away, and then attack them. . .
How will my future mining go there now? Surely those creatures will remember. . .and it will cause any future journeys to become more dangerous, all because of a fool. . .

He charged. . .he left. . .his blindness, lack of awareness, of caring. . .not just me in danger this time. . .it may be best to avoid any future travel with such until he can prove to be reliable. . .

Still, those little furry human things, monkeys? Were they hungry? Curious? They seemed more intelligent than some of my companions. . .I would have liked to learned more about them. . .I wonder if they're edible. . .?

They didn't seem involved with the beast kin. . .what did they want?
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #21 on: January 16, 2024, 10:26:26 AM »
Business. . .business. . .trading? Finding and selling?
Things desired and wanted. . .shall we acquire trinkets and slime? Pelts and bones?
My princess will certainly know the way, it is her dream. . .I will help. . . every day. . .we are more the same, aren't we?

There is silence from the rumor mongers. . .perhaps the truth has made them rethink their tales. . .still caution. . .vipers coil and hide. . .

List, list the things needed. . .what were they? Are they?
Pelts. . .reagents. . .horns. . .mostly simple. . .some are not, they are dangerous to hunt. . .

Stick with simple, easy things. . .barter on laziness. . .get paid for supplying convenience. . .she will know how to make the deals, we will simply find what she needs. . .

My princess. . .

"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2024, 08:12:52 AM »
Disgraceful hag. . .hiding away in a cage made for a bird. . .singing lies with your song in the morning air. . .
Calm. . .breathe. . .calm. . .they will handle this. . .that's what they said. . .
But. . .what is to be done. . .a venomous tree viper pretending to be a bird should have it's wings clipped. . .

Clip. . .clip. . .clip. . .
Are we to wait. . .we must, since we were told to. . .right?
How long can the fake princess keep pretending. . .how long until others realize what it really is. . .?
Build your house out of glass. . .little dove. . .but be careful when you cast stones. . .for the ones that come back will shatter this dreaming fantasy. . .
Disgraced, removed from real power, yet claiming to be more. . .and yet. . .people believe lies with no proof?

Calm. . .calm. . .
They will handle it. . .after all. . .I am more than just myself now. . .let not my trust be misplaced. . .misplaced. . .
No longer alone. . .for now. . .


But. . .but! She looked at me. . .and liked my words. . .a compliment from beauty and grace. . .it is true. . .right? She would not lie for no reason. . .not to one she does not know. . .would she?
Should I write more? Are these lines. . these words. . .worth anything. . .or are they wilting flowers like the rest? Blossoms hanging and then dying away as frost takes them too soon?

Flowers. . .flowers without a purpose are just. . .precarious petals. . .worthless other than to dazzle the eye?

I don't know. . .people are. . .difficult. The nightmares were all the same. . .there was no illusion to what they were, what they wanted, what they would do. . .but people. . .we begin to think they are worse than the nightmare. . .filled with greed. . .and falsehood. . .and undeserved pride. . .

If there were a power to pray to. . .I wish it were one of vengeance. . .one of curses. . .may a plague befall that elven house. . .may the mist take it. . them. . .and show all the horrors it contains. . .and give them the same seventy years of torment which I had to endure. . .all alone. . back home. . .

"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #23 on: January 22, 2024, 06:41:18 AM »
Work. . .work. . . work. . .

A party and a game. . .we are a poor player. . .but it was fun.

A touch, a talk, a brief reverie . . . plans to be made. . .but. . .is the future hope real, or just another illusion? Certainly. . .this time. . .it will be fine?
Dare we believe in what might be happiness. . .yet, there are still whispers. . .why?

People change, switching allegiances like tossing a coin. . .reasons unknown. . .but does it matter? Their life is their own, certainly they would choose something to gain them happiness. . .or is it greed? The intentions of others is still a mystery to us, their reasons for acting and speaking. . .strange. . . would I do the same?

Work. . .work. . .work. . .
Dust that makes one cough or sneeze. . .
Yet there are amusements to be had in some old musty bindings. . .plays with words. . .poetry? No. . .they are a question. . .right? They are written on. . ah. . .this:

Once silent, voiceless, wordless, dumb—
Now voiceless, silent, bearing words we come,
White fields crossed by myriad black tracks:
Alive we are dumb, dead we answer back.


Plays with words. . .are fun. Do others enjoy them too?

Distractions! We must plan, a nice outing. . .friends. . .to invite. Potential enemies to hide away from.
An event. . .planned. . .but it has before. . .still different. . .this time it will be? Right?

Whispering willows of spring, where the ash bogs lie. . .
Bring us a dance of trees, and watch the willow wisps fly. . .
Set amongst the wood, shall we be. . .
Yet, will there be eyes in the dark. . .watching. . .waiting. . .for me?
Breeze, breeze, gentle wind. . .trailing tendrils and cold rain again. . .
Caress the leaves, the hair, the skin. . .
Let the festivities. . .finally. . begin. 


((© c.r. beaumont 2024))

Who should invite. . .some are known, but are there others?
Some cannot be. . .and locations are limited. . .complicated. . .unnecessarily. . .
What. . .to do? How?

*there are several frustrated scratches and lines, apparently the ink ran out.*
"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath

Janarah

  • Undead Slayer
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  • Posts: 212
Re: A nightmare escaped - paradise lost or paradise gained - Belia Te'len
« Reply #24 on: January 24, 2024, 07:05:55 AM »
**The latest entry seems to just be a crude map sketch with a bunch of scribbled nonsense, the location isn't even labeled.**

"Life is full of mysteries, why can I not be one myself?"
~Nightwolf
Current: Rabbit/ Kalis
Shelved mostly: Sudhri / Atlantia / Radriel/ Herophile Sybil/ Lliannia/ Belia
Closured (dead or other): Marius/ Calous/ Ellana/ Radu/ Ania/ Anica/ Olath