VOLUME 1
[A collection of writings by Monsieur Arsène de l'Hôpital. The first volume includes the poems "Un Morceau de Moi", a mature meditation on living on with loss, the poem "Anxiété", a creative use of the written medium and format itself to convey the titular feeling of anxiety, and the lyrics to "La Chanson de l'Hiver" alongside the notes for a lute accompaniment; a song of ruinous desire, longing, and melancholy.]
Foreword
These books are dedicated to my dear friend and fellow poetry enthusiast, the Vicomtesse de Roissy.
May your flame shine bright and never dwindle.
Un Morceau de Moi
A piece of me has been misplaced.
It disappeared without a trace.
I know not where it hides from me.
It rests nowhere which I can see.
Without warning or any clue,
it peeled from me one afternoon.
I took a stroll around the Baie,
and as I walked it flaked away.
Panic drowned away all my thoughts
as I tried to locate its spot.
Not one event could break my trance,
save but finding it in my glance.
I began to search through the sand
but nothing fell into my hands.
I thought to check the gentle breeze,
and even climb the tops of trees.
But even as I searched the roads,
not one trace of it ever showed.
Posters were put on every wall,
"Payment to whoever saw:
A piece of me which now is lost,
which I seek regardless of cost."
And though many visited me
to show me junk that claimed to be
that which I once possessed with mirth
none could match my lost piece's worth.
And as my search continued still,
I began to feel very ill.
No fire's warmth dared touch my skin;
A pain echoed from deep within.
And food began to lose its taste,
and all my efforts turned to waste .
I lied in bed without the heart
to rise up, lest I fall apart.
And while I looked around my room,
colour drained from a flower's bloom.
The light began to fade away
as my world became cold and gray.
For as long as I miss a piece,
my life's troubles dare not to cease.
I wallow in my grim defeat;
I remain hollow, incomplete.
FIN
La Chanson de l'Hiver
[Simpler sheet music is provided alongside the lyrics to this song. It is clearly meant to be played on a lute.]
On crystal wings she courses near, her whispers whisked by flowing wind.
A hand extends to feel my hair and brush against my softened skin.
Such gentle words doth I receive; a promise forged on frosted lips.
Neath a sun setting hastily, she begs to grasp me by my hips.
Yet at her touch my body reels, my pounding heart does skip a beat.
Her fingers hold a bitter pain; my spirit orders me retreat.
And as I flee her shadow casts across the land and through the breeze.
The wolves withdraw unto their dens, and at her bidding kneel the trees.
Through silver beams of moonlight cast, her form at last is plain to see.
A creature made of finest glass. A crystal muse hath been set free.
And though her form is frail and soft, her presence makes the lands submit.
A visage pleasing to my gaze but one whose touch I ne'er permit.
I flee at last to lodgings fair and cast her presence off of me.
In the glow of a raging hearth, my frost-chilled bones are at least eased.
Through pitch-black nights in winter's midst I hope her form is mine to see.
Through windowpanes I peer beyond, to marvel at her majesty.
Anxiété
The curtain rises, revealing my form,
and as I step forward I nearly trip.
A timid mouse, unable to perform,
for I have been provided with no script
And yet I find an abandoned stage.
No decor is prepared for my show.
To my confusion, my utter rage,
this actor now finds himself alone
O how my body writhes and shakes!
O how my soul now yearns to roar!
O to make these empty seats quake,
and rattle this void to its core!
But cruel is this hollow shell,
which I once thought of as dear!
My cries bounce throughout this hell
and are thrown back at my ears!
The walls crack and bend now.
They move of their own will.
They constrict without sound.
They close in for the kill.
Blocking my escape,
closing around me;
sealed has been my fate,
too late to be free.
The price is paid,
the poison drank,
the pages fade,
until they're blank.
Body fails
mind denies
skin so pale
eyes so white.
red gwin
dripping
foul men
sipping
last
breath
fast
death
FIN