Letters Home- Amarissa Firecrown

[ServantofShar]

Dated: 12/23/77
Michael,

It’s been two years since the mists have taken me, and every day I miss you little brother. Cedric is gone, lost who knows where. It was great having him those first few weeks here, a rock to hold onto in a new place. But it seems even time slips away from us, as do the people we care about.

I’ve made new friends since coming out of seclusion. Solana and Marcelia are so great. I don’t think I could ever ask for better mentors. And Sioned… well, she’s like the sister I never had. Victor and his beautiful bride-to-be are lovely also. Wish you could meet them, but you’d probably think they were too grown up for you to hang around. I probably would have at your age.

You’d be 12 today. Wish this letter could find you instead of finding the back of my desk drawer. I just hope you know how much I miss you. How much I miss home. Anyways, happy birthday little brother.

Much love,
Rissa

[ServantofShar]

Dated: 12/29/77
Mother,

I don’t know if you would be scared for me or not. I’ve been here two years, and though I’ve seen it happen many a time, I’ve never once died. Today that all changed. Today while trying to run past a mob of angry men with swords, they struck me down. I don’t remember much other than the pain and then darkness. Then the next thing I know, Solana is staring down at me.

Oh how I wish you could meet her. She is everything I aspire to be. Strong, brave, caring, and so sure of herself. One day I’ll be like that, but until then, be glad for me that I found someone like me to look up to, Mother.

I’ve found that the dragon in me wants to be heard more often these days. I don’t want to become like you, but I feel the call to help stirring deep within. I know that Golds often do, you taught me so. Wish I could just ignore it, like I ignore the desire to horde objects, though that too is becoming harder.

I miss you and Father and Michael more and more with every passing day. I wouldn’t wish this place on anyone, but I wish I could see you all again. Please don’t forget me. I haven’t forgotten you.

Much love,
Rissa

[ServantofShar]

Dated: 1/3/78
Celia,

I went to a New Year Ball last night. It was as fun as I remember all of the ones in Faerun being, though I didn’t do as much dancing as I normally would have. My dear friend Solana danced with me towards the end, and it was quite fun twirling around the dance floor. I remember doing the same with you at one point.

I’ve met a few other Sunites since my arrival here, but none of them really seem to want my company. Guess here in the mists we don’t band together like we did in Waterdeep. I haven’t decided yet if that is a good or a bad thing.

I hope you are keeping Nico and Daniel in check. I miss all three of you more than I could ever miss anyone. I still feel the loss of you three every day, and it pains me when I think of moving on from what we had. I know it’s been two years, but sometimes the pain of the loss never really goes away.

Wish you were still by my side. All three of you.

Yours truly,
Rissa

[ServantofShar]

Dated: 2/8/78

Father,

I met someone.

You would like him, I think. He is everything you were in your youth, if Mother’s stories are to be believed. Strong, brave, caring. He has a good heart. Think the only thing you wouldn’t like about him is that he lets me get into trouble. But I think that’s part why I admire him. He doesn’t try to stop me from coming along. He thinks me capable of handling the situation, or at least I’m pretty sure that’s what he thinks.

In other news, I got blinded for a bit by a trap yesterday. That was… terrifying. I’m not normally one to panic, but I certainly panicked after I lost all vision. It was careless of me, stepping on that trap, but thankfully I had a new friend, Ella, there to act as a guide while the loss of sight persisted. We didn’t make it through that adventure as it was too hard to avoid the traps and had to turn back, but good things came of it. I made new friends.

I think the person I am now would make you proud. I live a comfortable life, I have a room in a city much like Waterdeep, and I have good friends surrounding me who care for me. Sune still watches over me, I think, even if I can’t feel her here. I like to think I’m making her proud too. All good things come to those who are kind to others, and I still live like that. You taught me well, Father.

Much love,
Rissa

[ServantofShar]

Dated: 3/16/78
Mother,

I feel like I’m floating in the clouds most days now. My partner has been living with me for a week or so now, and it all feels like a dream. We take strolls through the city together and I get to point out all the interesting places I’ve found over the years. We have meals together and talk long into the night. Honestly I don’t think I’ve been happier since arriving here in the Core. Maybe even since long before then. I feel… complete, like I’ve found the missing piece of myself that I’ve been searching for all these years. I found peace.

I admit I’ve been nesting a lot lately, though. Can’t tell if my partner is amused or annoyed that I keep rearranging the furniture every few days. I can’t really help it. What my home was before he started living here was very formal, like our rooms made for company in Waterdeep. Trying to make it feel more like a home instead of a gathering area, but everything I do feels awkward and formal still. At least I didn’t have to rearrange the bedroom a hundred times. That only took one try to make it feel like a cozy space, even though I had to move the desk into the bedroom to fill some space that looked awkward being open. But it works, it doesn’t look bad being where it is.

My powers are growing more and more with each day. Can’t tell what will manifest next. The latest manifestation was a protective ward. Most of myself seems to be protective, so it makes sense. Just wish I had you or father to help guide me through all of this. Not with the spells, I have a mentor for that, but with just how the power seems to be changing me. I wish I could talk to you. I miss you.

Much love,
Rissa

[ServantofShar]

5/17/78
Mother,

I said yes.

After a night of terror, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Was it a dream? Was it a real question, or a question spurned on by the terror we faced? Will he regret asking me, not knowing the darkness in my mind?

My mind keeps racing, going over the events of the past few days. A delve into the deep tunnels under the Tergs gone horribly wrong, an unexpected spar turned into a body being dragged to a temple… this lifestyle haunts my waking moments as much as it haunts my dreams. Some days I wonder if I’m on the right path. Will the nightmares continue until my last breath, or will they one day cease to exist for me?

I don’t know what I am anymore, Mother. Am I becoming this force for good like you and Father always wanted me to be, or will I be dragged screaming into the shadows and turned into one of the monsters I fear to become? He sees me as some goddess come to life, an aspect of Sune herself… and yet this is blasphemy in my mind. I am not her, though she is a part of me. I have a darkness she fights so hard to keep us from, and I fear one day I will start enjoying having it there as my companion.

If there is anything I have learned from the last few days, it is that I can and will turn to violence to protect him. I have no problem shedding blood for him… and that scares me. Violence is not the answer to everything, and yet I cannot deny the urge within to turn to it instead of finding the diplomatic solution.

I wish you were here. I am scared, and could use your guidance.

Sune stay my hand,
Rissa

[ServantofShar]

Dated: 12/14/78

Father,

It has been too long since I put pen to paper to write one of these. I have been so busy as of late that I either haven't had the time or the motivation to write another letter that will never be seen by anyone but me.

It has been two months since I acquired keys to a warehouse in the city. I think you'd be proud of what I did there. The temple looks fantastic, though I'm still so unsure about how I decorated the Kelemvorite side, though the two Kelemvorites that hold keys now say it looks great. I still haven't shown my fiancé the temple, mostly because our schedules just haven't aligned recently for me to show him. Speaking of fiancés... I still can't believe some days that he and I are together. It has been almost a year since he first started courting me, and seven months since he asked me to marry him. I'm in no rush to make the final bonding, we know we will be together regardless of that, but it still feels like a dream that he chose me. I feel more at peace here with him than I have in a long time.

Aeric spends most of his days in the cemetery now, helping the gravekeepers keep it clean and lovely and helping bury the dead. It's not as intensive as our adventuring life, but he seems to have grown fond of the peace and quiet. We still have our daily walks around the city, and I can usually convince him to spar with me though he still feels bad whenever he gets a good hit in. Not that I mind, I'm just happy to spend time with him before we both head off to do our separate duties. Some days I do miss him coming out with me to hunt things, but I know that he has a lot going through his mind still and needs the peace more than he needs me badgering him to adventure with me.

Recently came into the final circle of power. It feels... good. Like I'm more complete than before. I still have a bit to go before anything I do provides no learning, but until then I'm happy with what I achieved. Just wish you could be here to see me, Father. Not that I would wish to subjugate you to this hells-hole, but just wish you could see all I've done and become. How I've grown from that little girl you once knew three years ago to... whatever I am now. I miss you. All of you.

Sune watch over you,
Rissa