–– The 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 Book .

[Descent]

𝐉𝐀𝐍𝐄.
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portrait .               ✟               theme .

[Descent]

𝐎𝐍𝐄.
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐃

If I close my eyes and think hard, I can still see the bay beneath the mid-day sun.
I can still hear the bells and birds, smell the salt of the water, and feel the cool, crisp breeze.
To so many it had been a paradise; the pinnacle of civilization.
A place where you could live out your wildest dreams.

Not for people like me.
We were born to nothing.
Doomed to live on the streets.
To us, we were little more than rats.
To them, we were even less than that.
Pests to exterminate as they saw fit.

I was only three, when I was cast out.
Seven, when I was first forced to steal for food.
Ten, when they caught me. Beat me. Mocked me.
Twelve, when they brutalized me. Broke me.
Killed me, and left me for dead in the bay.

The one true beauty of the city would be my watery grave.
I remember begging- pleading- for Them to take me swiftly.
How terrifying the thought, to be alive when the crows came.

The sinking was slow, the water filling my lungs.
All the pain came to a stop. I had never felt such numbness.
Those priests really had been right all along.
Death truly is peaceful.

But I guess She had other plans for me.
It had to have been Her. An angel of white, gold of hair...
She reached out for me as I sunk; deeper, and deeper.
Finally, someone who cared for my fate.
Someone I could look up to.
A hero.

The Mists were my salvation.
Even if I have never seen Her again, I remember Her.
Dangers lurk here around every corner, and in every shadow.
The Mists have never been my enemy.

They've helped forge me into who I am today.
A simple girl, who has just one simple dream.

Do what is good, do what is right, and punish the wicked.
The Mists will aid me in my dream- I know they will.

And soon, the Shadows will, too.

[Descent]

𝐓𝐖𝐎.
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐌𝐄𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒, 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒

The first lesson had proven rather insightful; more than I anticipated.
No great secrets were shared with me, though my mentor is very promising.
My mentor spoke of the shadows and their ties to the world- both theirs, and ours.
"To be here is to be in agony for them," a surprising and disturbing truth to hear.
It had never occurred to me that the shadows that linger north were in pain.
That's not something I want to even try to imagine. I pity them.

"You are free to ask your questions, Jane. I will answer them."
Does this path make you happy? Are you and your counterpart friends?
The sheer look of surprise was abundantly clear- I nearly laughed at the sight.
My mentor's answers were noncommittal...I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised.
This path was a means to an end, for them; a way to uphold their duty.
As for their counterpart...well.

I didn't find the answer particularly satisfying.

"It is up to you how conscious they truly are," was what I was offered.
...Really? Surely the counterpart tied to you is more than a puppet at your whim?
This was something that didn't quite feel right to hear- I felt bad for doubting my mentor.
And even now, this is a thought that gnaws at the back of my mind; never quite resting well...

They both departed with a few, simple requests.
"Do not neglect your academics," they had warned. "Study the shadows and their home."
This sounded simple enough, though I had my doubts on how available information would be.
"Reach out to them; offer to them your emotions and thoughts to forge your connection."
Easier said than done, I imagine, but I promised I would try my best.

Several minutes passed after my mentor and their counterpart departed.
A quiet chat followed; the rekindling of being home, and reveling in the feeling.
It was peaceful and serene...until I caught movement in the corner of my eye.

A simple tilt of the head, a curious guest watching by the armoire.
It was one of them- one of the shadows, but not my mentor's.
The excitement within me was practically bubbling.

I beckoned it to us; "So long as you do not harm us, we will not harm you."
To the shadows it faded. Disappointment sank in, initially, before it returned to sight.
So close...it was so close to me, that I probably could have reached out and touched it.
I'm not sure of the malevolence I felt was true to the shadow's whims, or merely its energy.
Even still, I didn't fear the presence. Rather, I welcomed it; this was an opportunity.
Perhaps we could become friends.

So unfortunate that it was startled.
It saddened me to see it retreat, but I understood.
Within the safety of the shadows it remained; I could feel it watching.
Not that I minded. I was far more hopeful in my pursuit, now.

"Try to reach out to them- make a connection," I had been told.
What if the shadows reach out to me first?

[Descent]

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄.
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𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐒𝐔𝐈𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍𝐘

I've been fortunate enough to have received a lot of advice, as of late.
"Reach out and form a connection through your emotions," has stuck out in particular.
I pray to Ezra that I will have better luck with the shadows than I have with people.
Surely they won't notice what an awkward, incompetent fool I am- right?

The few bonds I have forged were done so during the crux one thing; strife.
It was amidst great mutual duress that we all truly began to grow close, and comfortable.
What better way to make merry than to do so when you could be killed at any moment, I suppose.
"To be here is to be in agony for them," a thought that continues to linger in my mind.
If it is agony they live in, then it is agony for myself that I will find.

...Ezra, I hope Melian doesn't find out.

My Light and I headed north, beyond the Lodge and the wolves that prowl.
They spoke of some sort of ancient burial ground that they had visited in times passed.
"There's a great evil that lurks there, and the air is thick with negative energies," they had said.
By Ezra, were they right- around every corner there was some sort of undead abomination.
Vroloks, Wights- even spirits lurked deep within, though none that were actually Shadow.

A trip that has left me with plenty of scars to recount the tale.

It was deep within the ruins that I finally understood, fully, just what they had meant.
There was no way I would have been able to breathe without their blessings, or my ring.
And even with them, I found what I sought; a means of constant, unending agony.
Completely and utterly excruciating...it was if I was drowning.
I haven't felt like that since...



Since...



S i n c e . . .

[Descent]

𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑.
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𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖

Night upon night has passed me by, and still I am walking along the path.
Although the advice I have been bestowed is to give the Shadows pieces of me,
I still believe it is only be fair that I, in turn, take strides to understand how they live.

I have walked in peace amongst their forests and doorways.
I have delved deep into cursed ruins, to experience unending agony.
There was one final step I had wished to take, before my next lesson.

To be devoid, as they are.

The Shadows live in a state of not only constant agony, but also in a state of dulled emotions.
Unfortunate, but I suppose it makes sense, given I was told to offer my own to create a bond.
Thankfully, a blade within my possession was able to aid me in experiencing this for myself.

Another trip to their forest with blade in hand, sheathed and ready.
This step was the one that I had feared the most, to be completely truthful.
To go unseen and in peace has not been a trouble for me in quite sometime.
The agony from the ruins was horrible, sure, but She knows I am no stranger to pain.
But to lose my emotions, my drive...to be a shell, and lose all that I am?

That is a fate worse than death.

It took me several minutes to finally muster the courage to pull my blade from it's sheath.
Shadows spilled forth from the blade to surround me, and with it I could feel myself slipping, already.
The quickness was not entirely alarming- unsettling, yes, but I had rationing my use of this blade for this moment.

Motivation was the first to slip away from me, though thankfully the logical part of me insisted we remain.
Next, was joy. Something that had been fleeting this past week, and what little I had gained was now gone.
Then, sorrow; a bitter-sweet release. Comforting to live without it's weight, though with a lack of joy...what was the point?

Hours upon hours, lounging within the grass as I was rendered hollow.
It's only now during my reflection that I can properly surmise how miserable it was.
There was nothing. No happiness, no sadness- not even a sliver of any anger.

Not even love.

For the first time, I closed my eyes and pictured his face, and felt...nothing.
My grip faltered, and the blade tumbled out of my hand and onto the grass below.
I could instantly feel it all returning to me- slow as it was. Never had I felt such relief.

I remained, with labored breaths and a cold sweat.
Tired eyes came to a close, and I pictured his face again.

My heart fluttered, wildly, once more.

[Descent]

𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄.
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𝐔𝐍𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐇𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐒

Sometimes, life works in the strangest of ways.
I could not tell you if fate and destiny were real for certain,
but it is nights like these that make me believe they just might be.

An evening in the company of my friends,
another evening of testing the patience of the night.
The mists rolled through the street, groping and grabbing.
One by one it took each of us, swallowing whole.
I was the last to be spit out onto the grass.

I still have no idea where fuck we ended up.
The mists surrounded us still, making discerning even more challenging.
We eventually settled on marching south, hoping for any break in the mists.
Fortunately, that led familiar crossroads- right off the Tser Pools and the village.

What was not fortunate, was the slaughter we were welcomed with.
Bodies torn asunder and littered across the grass, with flyers amidst the bloodbath.
The mists remained agitated, with a voice attempting to lure us deeper within.
We would enter, or they would wreak more havoc and slaughter further.

Into the mists we stepped.

What an absolutely infuriating place, the Mistways.
And even more infuriating, that we were tasked to find a specific place within.
The Shadow Rift- needless to say that I immediately found the silver lining in this.
At least I would be given the opportunity to study while we were here.

It was a magnificent sight, honestly.
The very moment we set our eyes upon it,
I understood why the Wight wanted to find this place.

Unfortunate, that he tried to test us.

His tricks of the mind certainly kept me busy,
though I'm not entirely sure it was worth being reduced to shadow and ash.
I didn't think very much of it in the heat of the moment,
even as his shadow lashed out upon his death.

As I reflect, however, I have begun to see this night differently.
I do not believe this was a chance encounter- that we were taken randomly.
Somehow, I feel that this harrowing night was destined to happen.
The Wight was clearly mad, pursuing murder and nonsense.
This was a look into my future, if I am not careful.

This was a warning.

[Descent]

𝐒𝐈𝐗.
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𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊

"You must learn to dance with them."
This was the lesson that I had been anticipating.
I had now bared witness to the dances of several others,
yet I had not given thought to how I would ever find my own.

Now was the time to explore.

I wished for a place of absolute peace to discover my dance.
Luckily, a new face had recently escorted me to the perfect haven.
Hidden from the view of most, I had never been somewhere so serene.
My journey began when the night was young, in the company of none.
I didn't wish to bring anyone else to bare witness to my dancing.

Not yet, at least.

The haven was dark, with little light beyond that of the stars above.
A gentle breeze and the soft chittering of the wildlife my symphony for tonight.
I could feel the nerves melt away like snow on the first day of spring.
Fear was gone for the night; excitement bubbling within.

I was ready.

For as quick and quiet as I am on my feet,
I cannot say that I am the most graceful of dancers.
Even free of fear, it took me a couple of hours to sway with confidence.
This was certainly no refined ballet; more of a waltz of waves, really.
Inspiration was found within the world around me.
The clouds above that hid the twinkling stars.
The ocean crashing against the shores.

And fading memory from a life left behind...

Although I had no partner within my arms, my dance did not exactly go unshared.
From the corner of my eye I saw a lingering darkness, fading in and out of sight.
Never truly joining me in this fledgling waltz, yet always just within view.
I think it may have been dancing with me in it's own, distant way.

A connection made beneath the moonlight,
the hidden stars our only audience for the evening.

A phantom waltz; and we, the Shadows.

[Descent]

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋, 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋, 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋, 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.

𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋, 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋, 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.
𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍𝐀𝐋, 𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄.