The High Priestess: Poison is Medicine Part Two

[ladylena]

Ghastria is a rather dull place. I suppose I could look around for things to hunt, but I don't want to miss Zaya.
I want to come to a bargain, a deal, an accord between us, but it was as if I spoke to a wall. She will not budge.
Surely the best outcome is one where we both live and gain something. I will see what she can offer me, other than waiting.

[ladylena]

At last.
I have found the right person.
Now we can truly begin.

[ladylena]

The Third Prophet

Undead have such desire to live that even when death comes they still desire that existance and so He breathed new life into the old and ancient history of the tergs. He found their priest, and took that long dead arm and brought new life into it. Death is not worshipped, it is not desired, it is life that they worshipped and valued. Slaughtering to prolong their life and offor up sacrifice so they can live on. A hungry diety that craved blood and life force? A people who loved life very much, and who feared death seeking to sway it away unto others. He was the Prophet of Erlin, the third aspect of the old god. The one who sheppards the dead to their rightful place and who the ancient Tergs followed.

This third Prophet completes the triad of Nerull, The Old God, and Erlin. A mysterious aspect that I have long sought to learn about. With these three aspects understood the truth will finally be known. I believe that each serves as a fraction of Death as a whole. We have the dark murderous aspect, the aspect of nature, and finally the last aspect, whom I will learn more from the Third Prophet. I believe this is the aspect that may provoke less fear than the others. For nature itself is brutal and harsh, murder is sinister and evil, but this one I have need to learn much more.

[ladylena]

One wants me to become the monster.
To walk the path others have laid out infront of me. This one is right, I can not go back. My name is tarnished, but perhaps I should take that tarnished new title and shine it up. I am a coward. The Old God chose me and I am sitting around watching from the darkness. Trying to clear up my name.  pathetic. you are pathetic.

I am terrified for what I may become and what will happen when I walk that path. I used to be powerful, fierce. That lingers, the fear people have, that uncomfortableness that makes them repelled by me. That remains and burns strong. I have to take a stand. I used to be so much more, I must regain that.

I have lost many and there is still things I could loose. Still things that could go wrong. I have so much knowledge, and wisdom. I admit that I can not do this alone. Perhaps I will ask my kin what will satisfy their hatred, placate it enough to work together for the common people and the shared future.

Or perhaps I will take a stand as his chosen one, embrace it fully and remind every single being that walks these misty lands that they all must submit to death. Must all show the Reaper the respect that is deserved. While I despise the outlanders perhaps I should invite them in. Welcome as they are going to face death some day too. We are all, even outlanders (as much as I hate them), equal in the eyes of the Old God, the Reaper, Death.

I am Erzsebet Varga. Chosen of The Old God. Prophetess of Nerull. Daughter of the Reaper. I will bring equality to my people one way or another. I need someone to push me along, to hold my hand while I walk this terrifying path.

To them this is not terrifying, but they don't know the things that I have learned. The jailers, the powers that hold domionion here... Is it punishment or reward that they give? Are they entities that have some form of existance? If they are not, then they are beyond death. Perhaps they are The Old God.

I both dread and long to hear His voice clearly. God help me.

[ladylena]

I thought that would be my end. I was expecting to die. I did not expect to be forced into a group of twists and outlanders. However, here I am. A woman suddenly working for a vampire. I had chances to go, but... I don't like being touched and I still react. I had thought he didn't see me, but it seems like eventually he did. More so this Blausteiner can hear me. I went from having such prowess to this.

Such a disgrace, but I did not bleed out like I thought I would. I was not killed like I expected. Another instance of the Old God Nerull deeming that I still have things to do. More so, he's not a normal vampire. I think the jailors have found him and blesssed him. Have I been going about this the wrong way?

I had wanted to believe that it was the good intent that caught their attention. I was wrong. Does he know about them? If so, what does he know?

I guess for now I will work with these freaks and expect them to kill me. Perhaps in time that view will change, perhaps they will earn the priviledge of seeing a softer side of me. For now it's the hostility and suspicion they will get.

I need to know what the hell I've just been dumped into. I'm not going to make the same mistake with Sirus as I did all those years ago. I am going to learn everything.

On another note, it seems that perhaps the rumours that circulate about me should be embraced. Maybe I will become the cold hearted killer they believe me to be. Maybe I will leave a trail of corpses of those who get in my way or slight me.

I need to find Miuo, I need the guidance of the cards. I also need to get back in practice.

Ever since I killed Ajkler I've been afraid of becomming a monster. Now I'm forced to work with those who have the physique of what most consider monsters. I tossed a coin to follow them or not. It landed on the side I picked to go with them.

Perhaps I should of been more careful with what I prayed for. I did after all pray that Death would spare me for another year. Pray to the trickster and you wont get what you asked for exactly. But you very well may get it, just in a way that gives Him entertainment. I suppose if I were Death itself, bored with everything, I'd probably enjoy watching someone be forced into the thing they dread and try to avoid.

Well you just watch me Nerull. Old God you trickster, I'll achieve that which you set out for me to do. I am your chosen one. I am your servant, and I will make you proud. Just watch me.

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess of the Old God, Chosen of Nerull.

[ladylena]

Miuo and Erzsebet had shared many experiences over the years. Drawn together by fate or maybe even destiny. The pair were much akin to opposites, yet perfectly balanced. They had been there for each other consistantly never judging or blaming the other. Tonight was no different. They had both shared the hardships of true love lost, of deaths, and betrayals and more, tonight they would add one more thing to that list. Something they would do together that would hopefully change everything for the better.

With the decision made, Miuo set out the preparations for the ritual. Five skulls formed a circle, their eyes staring out into the darkness of the room, the candles held within them lit. Beside each skeletal candle was placed a coldstone to abosrb the heat and to further add to the ritual. Inscence placed in the middle of the coldstones completed the circle. Miuo beckoned Erzsebet in, and she stepped in to the circle. "You must do exactly as I do." the tiny halfling said as she took out a severed fiends hand and a heart of the entombed taken from a mummy at the top of the mountain. She placed the leathery, frozen heart in the palm of the fiend and withdrew a dagger from her box of ritual items. As they both kneeled within that circle, the ritual began.

Miuo sliced her right palm with the ritual blade, squeezing her fist as she made a circle around the hand held heart and passed the knife to Erzsebet. She took it and cut her left palm, cutting into the scar tissue of many blood sacrifices. As her blood flowed she repeated the action of encircling the objects and speaking the first of the rituals words.

"Blood of my heart, protection is thine"

With the knife back in her hand, Miuo cut into the frozen mummified heart and inserted the green armour gem into the organ. The knife was handed back to Erzsebet who repeated the steps.

"Stone of the earth, guard my heart with your strength"

The iron spike was next. It was stabbed deep into the heart, piercing the hand beneath to hold them together as one. Miuo and Erzsebet took a turn using the daggers hilt to hammer that spike deep into their shared dark object.

"Protect it from evil and those who would do it harm, That no danger may pass, no threat draw near"

Their words were spoken with intent, purpose and a deep desire to no longer be led astray by others, harmed by their expectations, rumours or love. As Miuo wrapped twine six times around the object forcing the fingers closed around the heart of the entombed, handing it over to Erzsebet to repeat the action.

"No danger may pass, nor threat draw near"

The pair held up the bound heart in hand between them using their unmarred hands and spoke.

"Body of my body, marrow and mind. Soul of my soul to our spirits bind."

Above the hand which grasped the heart the pair clasped their still bleeding hands together and let their mixed blood coat it entirely in their blood.

"Blood of my blood, my tides, my moon. Blood of my heart, my doom."

With those ominous words uttered their hands parted and the object was set back down between them. Once more Miuo took the athame and cut the twine that held the hand closed around the heart. Forcing the fiendish hand back open, one finger at a time, the heart of the entombed was exposed once more, and the two retrieved their armour gems from it.

"It is done." Miuo said as she pried open the mouth of her skull choker and forced the gem into it. "Wear it at all times against your skin." She instructed her friend to do and began to clean up the ritual. Blood staining the floor where they had performed the ritual they hoped would free them of that which led them astray. Love, pain, and emotions which got in the way of their desires.

[ladylena]

Perhaps the ritual resulted in me only thinking this, or more likely the cards have seen the loyalty that I have to their user and have decided that the price we paid was enough for what we want. Paired with the heart of ice necklace I already wear I will be cold, and able to do whatever I must do without fretting or feeling or caring.

I'll do their test. I'll talk to him again and just get it done with. Thuggery is a distasteful thing to me. I wont sell drugs, I'd just use them on myself. Which I doubt would count. So, I'll do what I have to do. Maybe I could find some belonging in this crew. I have focused so long on fear, but now I'll let that fear go and dive head first into this chaos.

What is it that I have feared? Others? Myself? Death? Failure? I can't place it, but I am done with it.

I am the Prophetess of the Old God, Chosen of Nerull, High Priestess to the revival of the old ways.

Time to embrace all that being a servant of Nerull means:

I will build upon the basis of the past. Of the priests who would wander around and offer their services and prayer against Death and its minions. I will gather followers. I will pick out the worthy ones to teach the truth. I wont make another mistake like I did with Annaka.

Those I feel are worthy I will give them a test. Perhaps the one from my dreams. Allow them to believe that they will consume poison, when in fact, it will be benign. Those who are willing to face Death are willing to know the truth.

And that truth is that Death reigns supreme. He commands hoards of devils and demons, and is the source of sickness, disease, rot, decay and chaos. On the surface he is a trickster and a harvest god. In truth He is every aspect of Death. From the harvesting of crops, the hunting of animals, to murder and sickness. These are all his domains and all his doings.

I will pick and choose those who deserve the truth. For now, I'll accept that I prayed for Death to pass me over for another year and God granted that. I have time to do what He wants, and hopefully I will be able to hear him clearly one day.

Even if I must sully my hands and self by doing something distasteful. As long as I do not kill a mother or her child.

[ladylena]

She sat upon the altar in the center of the town, the spectors of those she killed standing behind her, judgeging her every action, word and choice. The winter chilled the town to the very core, frost clung to the lamp posts and decorated windows in spectacular patterns. The wind howled and carried with it the cold snow that littered the ground. The citizens gathered around her, building a bonfire to ward off the bitter cold. Winter had barely begun and it was already so harsh. It would only get worse and people were afraid of freezing.

Erzsebet shivered as the wind billowed the snow around her. "We will get through this. We have to appease Him, for someone has upset Him and brought His wrath upon us all."

A wave of hushed murmurs reverberated through the crowd as people looked judgegingly at one another. Each pair of eyes looking for the traitor among them. The High Priestess raised her hand to silence the crowd.

"He has spoken."

Silence took over the town, only the wind making any real noise. That silence was shattered by cries of who, and demands the person step forward. Yet no one did, who would want to face the wrath of the High Priestess, the Dread Priestess of Death herself.

She removed a glove from one hand, the vines and flowers that adorned her flesh stood out in the light of the warm fire that now burned. The hand reached out, the vines emerging from her carvings and slithered through the crowd. Weaving and snaking through the citizens the vines soon found their target. A woman clutching her child held an image of utter terror on her face as the vines wrapped tightly around her ankles.

Erzsebet frowned and shook her head. "Grizelda, you have born a daughter yet you would neglect her. You would kill her in favour of her twin brother. The Old God has deemed your sin worthy of true death." She paused and opened her eyes staring at Grizeldas. "But not for you."

A sickly cry came from behind the woman as a small infant crawled towards its mother. Grizelda remained held in place by the vines as her husband snatched their son from her arms. The colour drained from her face as the infant reached her and tugged on the hem of the dress, crying out in an unnatural way.

Erzsebet strode through the crowd, people parting for her to reach the monstrous scene unfolding before them. She bent down and scooped up the wailing baby and began to hum a lullaby as she walked back to the altar. A flick of her wrist and the vines retracted, Grizelda dropping to her knees in disbelief.

"You killed your daughter. But the Old God is not without mercy, unlike me. You will have until your son reaches the age of twelve to atone and pray that He sees fit to grant you atonement. Less you end up in the land without sun. As for your daughter..." She set the babe on the altar.

"Old God. Nerull. She stole from you what she was gifted. To you this babe is returned to grow at your side and pass judgement upon her mother." She kneeled infront of the altar and kissed the demonized baby upon its forehead as she and the crowd uttered a final prayer.

The final act was done, and the once more lifeless body returned to its previous state, human once more. Peace took hold of the tiny form before it turned to ashes, blown away by the cold winter wind. Lost in the snow it carried with it.

Her haunting crew scowled at her with disgust and hatred. A deeper burning agony of pain welled up inside her for the loss of the child and the choice of the old god to let that woman live. In silence she walked past her eternal judges, leaving the altar behind her as snow filled in her foot prints. She would not sleep tonight, they would be too loud in their judgements of her actions and so she picked up the pipe again. Opium induced sleep, or death would be what would await her.

The smoke curled around the room until her vision faded, only to come back to the vision of the inn room she had rented. She sighed and sat up in the cot. "Another of those dreams again..."

[ladylena]

This time I will set the rules. I will enforce them and I will not tolerate betrayal. Which means I will give Zaya one last chance. In which she can renounce the black company and join me in this new cell, or she can meet the fiend she sold her soul to. I will not give her the name of our gods servant until I know she wont betray.

This ice demon is one of the servants of the first incarnation, the first face of Nerull, the Old God. His face of slaughter. Anger and hatred fueled storm that will rage on the worlds now as it was supposed to eons ago. The third prophet, the Sheppard, wants to allow this to happen, and has shared the name with which to invoke safety from the coming storm with me.

He has agreed that only those of faith shall receive the name to speak. I will not allow the those who will not respect Death to utter or write that name. This fiend is ancient and there remains one sword to subdue it and trap it again or even kill it. This winter that will come, it pairs with my own dreams of Gundarakites building a city together. It was a group who were all faithful in their reverance and respect of the Old God. We even built a triple faced statue and other churches were there too. I have no problem with people worshipping Ezra or the Morning Lord as long as they understand that these 'gods' will always face Death, and as such Death is supreme. Everyone must pay their due respects to the reaper in order for Him to pass us over.

Whatever happened in the past, the people must of angered the Old God so much so that He sent one of his horsemen, the chosen ones who bring destruction, pestilance and more. In this case he sent the destroyer, the one that brings about a frozen winterland and wipes out all life. So that the cycle can be reset and begin again. In the past, the people managed to seal the fiend away and stop the Old Gods plan. But we are now in a different time and a different face of the Old God. While He remains Death his form now is trickery and deceit and disease and sickness. Not slaughter or senseless murder. A trickster is smart, devious and likes to play, in order to do so his toys must be alive so they can repeat the cycle over and over. His rage has cooled down to an icy wrath that would see us extend the suffering, offering true Death as a release only to those who have earned it. Be that by self sacrifice or devout servitude. Those will see you at His side, showing respect and reverance will guarantee that you will be free of the cycle in due time. After all death comes to us all. He is the great equalizer.

There has been a deal made to exclude some land from the fiends touch of ice, however they have neglected the land taken by Barovians. I am sick of Invidians thinking only their side matters that they have the right way forward. Ardonk, the Black Army, all of them, they all stem from Invidia. A place where we can use weapons, and speak Luktar. Two very things that we can not do here. They did not even want to believe the truth that Barovia was a land full of undead. We are all the same people, however, the lands that we live in are vastly different. Which means our needs differ too. An Invidian based rebellion can never stand a chance in Barovia, as it is a different place here. Just the same as a rebellion based in Barovia can never stand a chance in Invidia. Divided we will always fail, and that is what they want. They want us divided. They want us to hate each other because when we hate each other we fight each other and that makes it easier for them to control us.

If we stand together, regardless of our difference, then we can accomplish everything we want and more. At least Tivadar understands that we may need to make a new home all together. A new city. That dream and knowing that there are people who share it and support it truly makes me smile.

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess and Prophet of the Old God

[ladylena]

I have spoken his name: INAJIRA.

Maybe he will be of use with my plans, or maybe not.

[ladylena]

I have met another one chosen by another god. I must admit that it is a relief to be able to have someone to speak to who can relate to what I am going through. Maybe this ritual will allow this chosen one to hear their god too.
I have no issue with people worshipping other gods as long as they pay their due to the Old God, Death, Nerull. Beyond that they are free to worship whoever they please. Outlanders however, they amuse me. I've spoken to many who report a sudden severance of their former godly connection. I wonder why they cling to their god when they can tell they have no real power here? I also wonder why few seem to convert to a religion or belief that has an actually powerful god.

The silly Ezrite to believe that there are no gods here. I suppose what he truly meant was that there were no truly benevolent and altruistic gods?

I do hope the others participating will be ready and understand what they are going to be doing and risking. To try to commune with the gods is to risk their ire. To risk their ire is to risk their wrath. I do not want a repeat of the ritual with the members of the black army. Foolish people who claimed to be faithful but did not know to speak the Lords name, not the fiends. You -never- devote yourself to a fiend as foolishly as they did.

I wont have any repeats. We will take every single percaution to ensure that we are not spied upon, attacked, betrayed or fail.

I know that I have hard choices to make coming up, and I loathe the idea of having to become a kin slayer, however, for things to progress, I must act as the Reaper would. I am His chosen one. I am his herald and I have neglected my duties. At least this time I have someone else I can speak to about my worries.

Regarding this INAJIRA dog demon, well. I have a plan, maybe two. Perhaps even three, but the latter two are still in the midst of planning. We will not make mistakes. For a change, I am being listened to.

What was it that was said? "Not all kin are kindred"? "Not all kin are trustworthy"? Something to that essence.

While I dream of a place where I do not have to kill those I call kin, it is true. I loathe that I have to learn this fact, but at least for now...

When I have achieved what the Old God has sent me out to do, unite our people as a whole and either retake our land or make something new, there will not be such issues. I know it is naive to believe that one day no kin will target another, I can still dream, and if I am in charge, ruling, I will have to make hard choices regarding such things. I wonder if I am capable of that?

Perhaps this new family I am starting to become part of will be able to stand by me and help me, and in turn I will help them. Even if it means helping some outlanders. As distasteful as I find them, they are still equal in the eyes of the Old God. All are.

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess and Prophet of the Old God Nerull

[ladylena]

I shall see what comes of this. The mask seems to be holding well and gathering information. New allies have formed and information flows. I will meet with kin and find those followers who were not slaughtered by the army. The ones who managed to hide, and bring them together and form a new family. A following who will follow me through it all. Maybe the idea of uniting all Gundarakites under the equality of the Old God, is a bit foolish. I see now that people have a mind made up, and I can see where I must begin.

What the hell does the Old God want of me? Whispers in a vague voice, as if from behind veils of velvet. I need clarity. I need to know why he picked me when it seems like I may end up being a villain to our people. Will I truly have to cut down the ones who stand before me like the rumours claim?

I will do what I must to serve the Old God. And if I must spread his word through the elimination of those who would repeat the aristocratic mistakes of the past and slander me, than so be it. Words are easier to do than actions. Which is why I have such respect and judge people based on actions. I have spent years fighting against this growing darkness, this growing lust for blood. I shove it down, try not to embrace it, but it is as much me as my skin.

I wont make anyone else bear the burden of taking a life, unless they want to. Oh how I wish the army would listen to words. How I wish I could speak with my old comrades, but they wont hear me. Their minds have been set since the start. At least now I know who is active and who I must watch for.

Yet, still, I long for the ability to try to resolve this matter with words. But months and months of trying to track them down to speak has been useless. Are they afraid of me perhaps? Cowering from the truth that I speak?

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess and Prophetess of the Old God Nerull

[ladylena]

[The writing in this entry seems different than the rest]

WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELLSPAWN IS THIS DUCAL COURT OF GUNDARAK?!

HOW DARE THEY CLAIM TO SPEAK FOR THE OLD GOD WHEN I AM HIS CHOSEN PROPHETESS.

WHO OR WHAT ARE THESE PREPOSTEROUS LIARS THAT WOULD DARE CLAIM RIGHT TO SPEAK ON BEHALF OF NERULL?

[ladylena]

I have been able to find terribly little on this alledged Ducal court. I have, however, secured location for a ritual. I have also come to accept that I have duties to fufill that includes bringing death to those who would prevent the Old God from freeing our people.

I do not like it, I do not like that I will have to take the lives of kin, but they have given me no choice. I understand the choices the Duke made in the past. I don't agree with them at all, but I understand. He made the wrong ones in an attempt to keep our kin peaceful and together, but his trials are not mine. I am not facing invaders, or uprisings. I am facing distrust, lack of connection and divisiveness.  I have to unite my kin under the divine guidance of Nerull, our Old God and if I must do so by bringing death to those who threaten my Gods vision, I will.

Just because I must do something does not mean I have to like it. This Aryssa Creed lady, winged twist, an officer of the black army, once dead is now back. How far they have fallen to allow such creatures to command Gundarakites. Maybe I shall spread the truth around areas of Barovia Explain the members of the army, the outlanders, the twist, the lady lover, the child killers, the grain thiefs and the ones who starved and killed Gundarakites. I only took two lives. They took many.

They killed Gundarakites that followed the old ways, they killed Gundarakites they suspected followed the old ways, they killed Gundarakites that stood against them. And they call me the enemy of our people. All I have ever wanted for my kin has been for them to be treated equally, to be free, to have our rights back and for us not to be persecuted. I have killed fewer kin than they have, but I guess they fail to see what they have done. I see my mistakes, my sins, and I acknowledge them. I am owning them.

I have blamed myself for the children who died in Zeidenberg, but I see now that I am not to blame. Yes I could of done more, but at the time I, like many other Gundarakites, believed that they cared about the everyday Gundarakite. I told them, warned them, but they are the ones who hold responsibility. They fled these lands, while I remained. They fled the aftermath, I witnessed it. They fled the sorrow, grief and anger. I bore it.

I will no longer allow them to destroy me.

I am Deaths chosen one. I am Nerulls chosen one. I am the Old Gods chosen one.

I will become Death.

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess and Prophetess of the old god Nerull

[ladylena]

They will no doubt come for me. They always do, even if it is a crime I am not guilty of. They assume I killed Annaka and kidnapped her body. At the time when she was killed I was setting up a shop in the drain. Selling potions to some people who were on a "pub crawl". Truth does not matter to these people, these would be heroes. They sow deception where ever they tred. Speaking in lies and claiming truths out of falsehoods. They only believe the truth they chose to, not the truth that is real.

I will walk this path, and I will walk it proudly. I am bringing true the vision of Nerull. My people will be whole under His guidance. I must admit that being a leader is not as easy as I had dreamed. Many awful choices await, and I must make sacrifices, such as was done yesterday. They will continue to slander my name, but I am serving Death.

His words are no clearer than before. It is possible that this was not enough for Him. Perhaps merely a taste, while I wait for the right time to take out the rest of those who would stand in His way.

That poor girl didn't have to suffer like she chose. She should of prayed and accepted the fact that Death is supreme. Nerull will open the door to what is next, and when He opens that door for me, I hope that it will lead to a seat at his side. Where I can be free from this suffering and eternal deception that we are trapped in.

The darkness does not cause pain. The sun does. It burns crops and flesh, it boils water to nothing. It is harsh, brutal and uncaring. Light is not the loving thing they assume it is. No, that is darkness. The comforting thing that we all come from and will one day all return to. Darkness does not harm people, it does not destroy or burn things. It just is.

Death comes for all things, and it is what will allow those who worship a false god the chance to someday see their god. If they do not die, they will never meet their diety. Nerull reigns over all. When a god looses their followers, they are visited by Death and they fall just the same as any mortal.

Death is the great equalizer and it brings us all to the same level. It is a shame that the girl chose to suffer so much, I really do hate seeing kin suffering. But seeing the life leave her eyes, knowing that she was visiting Death, Nerull himself, was beautiful.

I forgot the thrill that killing sends through my body. The desire to taste her blood, her life force, to bath in the warmth that bubbled forth from her neck... Had I a lover, the time we could of had. The thrill of a successful hunt is more powerful than any aphrodisiac. I admit I've never worked with another religious person before, but watching them perform their ritual... Such beauty I hope to see more of.

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess and Prophetess of Nerull, the Old God.

[ladylena]

Loyalty is a trait that I value immensely. It is something that has been rare for me to find. Yet now I have tested it and it has been proven worthy.

I have many things to do, but to begin it, I must hunt down the prey which thinks itself hunter. I have made errors and those errors have taught me things.

He returned at last. It's wonderful to see him again. It will be glorious these days ahead. My partner requires their heart, but it is their souls that satisfy Nerull.

I feel the desire burning inside me, the desire I have suppressed for so long. I long to see their life leaving their eyes. To witness that final moment when their soul is in the grasp of Nerull. He has called home the traitors against me, His chosen disciple. I am to bring death to them and remind all that it is only under the watchful eyes of Death, Nerull, the Old God, that we can ever have our dreams acheived.

They will submit or fall.

-Erzsebet Varga, High Priestess and Prophet of Nerull

[ladylena]

What I would give to be void of emotion. To have nothing holding me back. Miuos rituals helped some, as does the heart of ice I own. But it is not enough. Oh how I envy him. I envy that cold calmness. I envy that emptiness, that hollowness, that thing he lacks. I want it. I want to feel nothing. I want to be as cold as death. I want to be indescriminate. Yet I am not. I am not him.

Oh Varga, you have much still to learn, but for now... I have to learn to direct these emotions into the rage that I am familiar with using. The pain of betrayal, the pain of knowing, the pain of living. I need to use that the same as I have harnessed rage. If I harness the emotions that hold me back then I can become unstoppable. I just need to use them the same as anger. I have survived so much. I will survive this.

No. I will overcome this. I will stand atop of this mountain before me and stare down at the pathetic fools who think me wrong for climbing it. I shall laugh at them as my voice echoes like the thunder atop the Balinok or Ghakis. What is the worst that can happen to me?

[ladylena]

If they think me a fool, they will find out that I am not.
Information flows and suddenly a desire to meet.
A poster callilng for the death of traitors, and that gets followed by a letter.
It is hard to deny the connections.
The best lies are the ones mixed in with truths.

[ladylena]

I am relieved that was not a trap.
Also relieved that I had planned as if it were.
Secrets are known now, and a new plan must begin now.
I don't break my word.

-Erzsebet Varga

[ladylena]

Her final words: "What's your problem?!" As the blade struck her down. She'd only met this woman once before and this sudden attack confused her. She floated in a darkness before everything turned grey and misty. She wandered around aimlessly until she spotted a tower of light in the distance. She walked into it and everything shifted. Darkness, the sound of scurrying rodents and running water. Her incorporeal form repeated its final moments for any to witness.

She ran as if chased from the entrance to the drain and down the corridor leading out. She had wanted to flee, not understanding why this woman was so insistant on killing her. Why didn't she just go back into the drain? Why did she flee down further into the emptiness of the sewer? Her feet moved without her consent, fleeing down to the center of the hall before succumbing to the womans sword. "What's your problem?!"

A flash of darkness, brief as a blink and she was back outside the door to the drain. "What do you want?"
A blade was drawn, and Erzsebet stepped back. "You aren't running." the blade was brought down at Erzsebet. "I don't want to fight you."  She stepped back, another strike coming down. She fled, her feet tracing the cobblestone of the sewer as the woman persued her. Another gash, and another. Blood welled up on her brown robe as she fell. "What's your problem?" the blood pooled in the murky water as she felt the cold blade pierce her one last time. Darkness.

And she was back in that grey misty place. Dead. She was dead.

Erzsebets soul was stuck in repetition of her final moments. Cursed to repeat them until her soul dissolved into nothingness, or her soul returned to its body. Her fate was no longer her own. It was in the hands of the trickster Nerull whom she worshipped. Perhaps he would free his servant from the hell of repeating those confusing final moments. Perhaps Erzsebet would finally be granted a true death. Only time would tell. And tell it would.

Time continued to pass while her spirit repeated its final moments. Why did this happen? She was usually so good at hiding in the shadows, a good reminder of the fact that she was mortal seemed to be what this would be. This was not the first time she was here, in this purgatory or hell. She would feel each cut, each slash, feel the cold water turning warm from her blood. Feel the vibrations of the wererats swarming towards the smell of a fresh kill.

Despite her form repeating those deadly final steps she found herself thinking and hating what she did. Hating all of her choices that had led her to the death while her lover Serghei had remained in the drain safely behind that closed door. It had been quite a while since she had found herself repeating her death, and she wanted it to end.

Within a blink the scene would reset and her feet would retrace her steps. Her body would exhibit the final attack upon her. Gashes and stab wounds forming in her ghostly body, one blade swing at a time.

This unsettling scene would play out over and over and over in the hall leading to the drain beneath Vallaki. A hell of its own kind seeming to never stop repeating.

[ladylena]

OOC: For anyone waiting for Erzsebets return, consider her on a indefinite Hiatus as attempts and plans have been revoked and turned down.