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Author Topic: Powers Seduction  (Read 9375 times)

ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #50 on: October 28, 2022, 09:16:17 AM »
It had been a long earned break from the insanity and brutality of the outskirts of Vallaki. It was a lovely break from the city life that Narcissa was so used to, infact, it would be the first time she had spent any real time away from her home town. She had travelled to Hazlan before to pick cotton, flax and wool, but she never stayed there for longer than a night, but now, she was spending days away from Vallaki. Where she would normally return to her mothers house, or a room rented at the Broken Bell, she was now living a taste of what she hoped her life would be in the future. Over this vacation, she would return to a small home, greeted by a raven and the man she had grown to love.

It was a small house, but it was a home in a very short time. Narcissa enjoyed returning to Benedikte and the raven she had taken as her familiar. Whether it was from travelling abroad, or weaving fabric, being able to return home to the man she loved felt like a dream. She knew it wouldn't last for very long, this was just a vacation, and soon, Benedikte would have to return to his duties as a city guard. There would be more outlanders who would need to be reminded of the law they must follow. It was a never ending cycle there. Outlanders arriving, thinking they would be immune to the laws, or subject to the same laws as their homes, there would be criminals and dangers at every turn. Both of them would be at risk, and so, for now, they chose to enjoy this rare break from most dangers. Simple meals, a shared bed and seeing each other upon waking, it was a blissful escape.

Her raven had been getting better each day, and seeing Benedikte caring for the animal brought a spark of joy to her already joyous heart. Each day the ravens wing would improve. Medicine and the knowledge Benedikte had about animals were making such drastic improvements to the bird that Narcissa had hope that maybe in time the bird would be able to fly. Her days felt magical, spending the time cooking together, tending the raven together, and sleeping each night together, it felt like a dream come true. In truth she did not want it to end. The only time she would ever venture out would be to travel with her allies to get the coin she would need to pay for the weaving tablets, everything else was provided.

They stayed in the cabin his grandfather and grandmother had owned. The one he had spent most of his life in. It wasn't large or luxurious, nor was it surrounded by other houses, no, this home she stayed in was near the woods. Each night the wolves would howl, and the flutter of the wings of many bats would sound through the night, but other than that, it was quiet. Peaceful, but the lack of city noise would take Narcissa time to adjust to, for now it spooked her and she was ever glad to sleep with Benedikte, safe in his arms.

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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #51 on: November 08, 2022, 03:31:26 PM »
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11,08,777

What have I done? Was it wrong to stop the bleeding on a man who wanted to die? Why would he want to die, why would he dance like that? I don't understand... Eve said that sometimes death is the path of least suffering, as living can cause more suffering, but... I don't think I agree. I think people must be suffering immensely if they are eager to die like that man was. Suffering makes people loose the desire to live, but is it the path of least suffering if I let them die? Or is it better that I stop the bleeding? I feel very conflicted with this.

On one hand the life of a caliban is full of suffering and pain and misery, but on the other hand you can not accomplish greatness when you're dead.

I suppose I forget the suffering people experience when they are different. I wonder how people would change their views if they knew that I was half Gundarakite? Would I be shunned and called a liar? Or would they understand why I don't advertise it?

Hala wanted us all to achieve greatness in our lives, she knew that suffering would obstruct that goal.

I suppose I should wait next time and learn more about what happened before attempting to intervene.

Why would he want to die? I don't understand that... He had a friend...
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #52 on: November 16, 2022, 04:07:24 PM »
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11,16,777

I've not seen Benedikte in a little while... I'm starting to wory something may of befallen him. I miss him.

I've aquired new spells, a further glance into the weave that holds it all together but, while I feel them, I.... I am afraid of them. I can call upon the bitter northern wind, and I can feel a new power that wants to be used. It feels like if I do I will control someone, that terrifies me. I don't want to have control over someone, do I? I mean the desire to try it is there. I could use it for good I'm sure. Maybe I could stop someone from harming another with it... But still, to take away ones power like that, to make them obey when they don't want to... Why would I need this spell?

As I allow myself to learn more and more about the weave and uncover more patterns, I'm discovering my magic becomming less helpful and more damaging. I'm afraid of what I may do if I somehow someday loose control of my emotions.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #53 on: November 22, 2022, 02:16:46 PM »
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11,21,777

I went with a few people to ensure they were not hurt badly and I got to see several new things. Weird arcane powered floating metal creatures, hot rivers of a thick red liquid like the blood of the ground beneath us. I got to see a illithid too. A terrifying, ugly thing with tentacles on its face. The people I was with said it was an octopus thing, octopuses sound terrifying. I wonder if it was octopus tentacles in that wrecked ship in Blaustein. I also got to see these weird little child height creatures with wings, and massive black cats, and the shadow dragon. I was expecting him to be much larger...

I've gone with people to the forest fane and seen the Annis Hag myself. She has powerful magic at her disposal, and is a terrifying beast in battle. I watched her talon cut through their armour.  Mister Ignis shares the same view that my father has about my magic, that it should be allowed to grow and be used. Mama has shown fear over it, wanting me to rarely if ever use it, let alone allow it to grow. I must admit there is a wonderous feeling in using my magic.

Feeling the threads of reality bend and reshape to my will... When I don't use it, I can feel this feeling inside, I can not explain it, but not using my magic is an uncomfortable feeling. Perhaps it's akin to someone who drinks daily, whatever it is, it's unpleasant. But using it on the other hand, well that is euphoric. It makes me feel energetic, alive, like I could do anything.

But these very same feelings also make me worry. I could control the mind of someone, make them do what I want, leaving them unable to remember a thing. I could freeze someone with the bitter wind of the highest peak of Mount Ghakis. I both love and fear my magic. I have been asked to meet with Sister Amelia, and I'll be doing that soon, perhaps she may know of another Halan who's magic is inante.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #54 on: November 28, 2022, 09:01:42 AM »
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11,27,777

Why would a vampire hunt down "vanity"? Why would my eyes be considered vain? Who is his lady and how does my green eyes compare to her?

Miss Yeira got badly hurt because I fled into the church... There are powerful clerics who would restore my eyes, and these men who want mine... I feel like I am at fault for her injuries. Had I given them what they wanted no one would of had to suffer that night except me. But the path of least suffering also applies to me, and if I had done that it would of made many people upset, which would of made them hunt the vampires and suffer at their hands.

I don't understand why he wants my eyes. I also don't understand why people refused to seek safety. If they had gone inside when I asked them, no one would of been hurt. Mister Hemlock is right I should stay near the church and seek shelter in it at night, but truthfully I am worried people may try to kidnap me for favour of the vampires.

I went back out after I stitched myself a veil, and I admit that I found it odd that they seemed to ignore my presence. I will keep wearing it for now, perhaps eternally.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #55 on: December 10, 2022, 04:36:28 PM »
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12,10,777

I've been spending so many nights in the church that it has almost become a second home. I dislike living this way, I should not be allowing fear to dictate my actions. There are many people who are outside at night and for whatever reason, they think they are helping. I can't help but wonder and want to use my power to make people go inside. I have access to such a spell that would strip them of their free will and make them subject to mine. If I used that to protect people would that be misusing the weave? I can justify it plenty. These people are obviously not well and seek to harm themselves, and by such, others. I could control their minds and make them seek safety and by doing tha eliminate the suffering that may occure physically that night, but would they suffer from my choice to control them?

Magic should not be used to harm or control people, but that pattern in the weave is there, and I know it. I can use it, and Hala help me, I want to. I am so sick of people endangering themselves and others by stupidly staying outside at night. I know nothing is a perfect solution. Legends say that vampires are the only undead that can't enter a church, and werewolves and other werebeasts and undead certainly can. I can feel the burning desire to use these new spells, but I know they come with a risk.

I had a dream the other night about weaving. I was sitting infront of a beautiful loom made of silver and redwood. I was weaving with these threads that glimmered and shone even though there was no light, it was like weaving with stardust. It was beautiful, and the other threads were like weaving with the darkness of the night sky. Slowly the image was revealed, a glorious pattern woven into the dark fabric, it shone like it was magical in nature. I stared at it, and I felt the knowledge of that pattern flood my mind. A second one began to shift from the same, as if a similar patterned spell. This new one was similar to the one to dominate a person, but it did not rob them of their free will, instead it put them in a daze. I knew it from the pattern in the weave that was revealed to me... I can make an individual sleep, animals, or weak minded creatures, I can change the perception of reality by concealing people and making them invisible to others, I can control a persons mind and body... And utter a single word that will daze them. It's as though my magic is shifting away from protecting people and more towards controlling people.

Hala wants people to be free of suffering so they can achieve greatness, why is half of my magic the ability to manipulate peoples minds? Is there a reason Hala is revealing these to me? Or has Eros been right that my magic is not from Hala. I heard that there are not many sorceress followers of Hala, and that they are the ones Hags prefer to corrupt. I can't help but wonder why that is. Just because emotions tend to run high with people like me, it does not mean it will be destructive or malevolent, right?
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #56 on: December 12, 2022, 12:19:29 PM »
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12,11,777

A green hag has green skin, a sea hag has seaweed in her hair, an annis hag is dark blue almost black skin and is taller than the rest while having sharp talons. The hag that Miss Heir reported had grey skin, hopped from shadow to shadow, and despite being shorter than normal for a hag, she was exceptionally strong.

This hag does not match any of the descriptions of the known hags. Sister Marissa suggested that this may be a night hag since it does not match, attacked at night and jumped from shadow to shadow. I will see if I can find information from the Herczogs. They may know something about it.

Quote
[A letter, written in Luktar sent to her father, somewhere in a rebel camp]
Papa,

I'm sure Mama informed you by now, but she sent a man on the brides quest. Although, I've not seen him in some time. Seeing as the man was a Garda, I'm curious if the rebels may have something to do with his dissapearance. If it's not that then it would be that he went on the hunt but was not succesful...

Papa, in the past you seemed to suggest that you knew of Eros, which makes me wonder if you're aware of any means in which to contact that thing. I have some questions for Eros and my connection to him is gone. Other than that, is it possible that our family is cursed?

I know that you probably wont be able to get a letter back safely to me in a timely manner, but I hope you're alright and able to reply. I've began to pursue my magic, and it has grown quite a lot over the months. I think I have managed to keep it a secret, but there are circumstances that are arising where I may not be able to hide it anymore. I am scared of my magic papa and mother would simply tell me to ignore it, lock it away and not use it, but I keep wanting to.

Please stay as safe as you can papa.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #57 on: December 19, 2022, 12:31:58 PM »
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[A letter in Luktar, delivered to her father Fredek somewhere in a rebel camp in Barovia]
Papa,

Please disregard my other letter. He had been overwhelmed with work and couldn't get free to see me. It is a relief that he's alright, he took down an ancient dire bear from the mountains. I hope you are safe Papa, but if you know anything about Muskall Mushroom I would appreciate the shared knowledge.

Your loving daughter, Narcissa
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #58 on: December 23, 2022, 01:12:51 PM »
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12,23,777

It was a non issue before he spoke to Eloane... I've never felt rage like I did today. Every fiber of my being wanted me to misuse the power of the weave. Every fiber of my being wanted me to find that bitch wanted to make her forget any feelings she may have towards Benedikte. I, for a brief moment, wanted to use it on Benedikte. I wanted to make him not care if he was excomunicated.

Today I called upon dark shadows to bind around some innocent animals, and next I knew, I'd killed them with the bitter north wind. I never felt this way before in my life. Ever. This was the first time. When I realized that I had done that, and was about to do the same to a bird, it got away thankfully, I came to the hospice.

Marissa called it rage. A blind rage. Maybe, but the fact that I wanted to harm things terrified me. The shadow bindings were upsetting but they didn't hurt anything, just held it in place. But they came because I felt . . . Dark inside.

I love Benedikte so much, I can't bear the thought of seeing him suffer. I don't want to be the source of pain for him. I'm sure there's a sect that will allow me to help anyone and everyone.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #59 on: December 24, 2022, 12:29:45 PM »
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12,24,777

The second sect, they wont even turn away an enemy if they ask for aid. I can agree with that sentiment, but, what I am not sure I can live with is belonging to something that could cause such suffering to one of their own as excommunication for the choice of their spouse. Being forced to pick between loosing love or faith family is not something that anyone should have to face.

The sisters have no issue with the idea of me marrying an Ezrite, but the Ezrites seem to have issue with one of their own marrying outside of the faith. I am sure I can bear it, I hope. Do I want to do this though? I can still walk the same path under a different cloth. Many brothers and sisters have and do.

It is not that I don't believe in a battle of souls, it is simply that I am concerned with the people as they live. I can do something for them, but I can't for a soul. I believe that suffering leads to people doing awful things, maybe even people becoming monsters. If we can lessen the suffering they endure maybe they wont be so quick to turn to darker means.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #60 on: December 26, 2022, 09:58:00 AM »
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12,25,777

I told him my descision. I love Benedikte wholy and completely. For him I will convert, I can still help people and ease their suffering from the second sect.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #61 on: January 03, 2023, 11:20:56 AM »
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01,02,778

I must admit that I made mistakes lately. Venturing with people I didn't really know, and ending up nearly dead a few times, and unable to stop the suffering that everyone endured. Even that poor hooded man. I also feel terrible for Andris, he didn't do anything to deserve that, but knowing now that rebels are active again... I understand it. A mixture of jealousy, desire to protect me, but still. I am at least glad that Miss Aleksandra called him over to take care of him. It feels like it was my fault for it happening, maybe his jealousy will settle when we are wed.

Of course if rebels are active around here, I should try to act as fast as possible to set up that meeting with mother so she can see the ancient dire bear Ben slayed. I can't see any reason why she would deem his hunt not worthy. She's been wanting me to marry into a good Barovian family, while Benedikte may not have much family left, he is a Lance Corporal in the garda, and I've replenished the fang lost during mothers sickness, and then some. Considering that she also wants me to avoid Hala and pursuing my magic, converting to Ezra will make her happy too.

I can still pursue the teaching of Hala through the second sect. Hardly the first witch to have to do that, and sadly, unlikely to be the last. I am going to start working properly at the hospice, I may see if Marissa is alright with me selling and or giving away clothes from here. I can use that money to help buy supplies. At least until miss Neferet sets up her guild or union thing, maybe then I can go back to simply weaving...

On the other hand, I need to find out more about that weird device under Berez with Marissa and Andris. I should also let her know that things are going to become a lot harder to Gundarakites if rumour is true. It's going to get a lot more complicated soon I fear.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #62 on: January 04, 2023, 01:32:22 PM »
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01,04,778

Benedikte wasn't in good shape when he came back after duty. New wounds and scars, and not much I could do to ease his mind. I guess he couldn't sleep, I vaguely remember him leaving when it was still dark. I know he'll tell me the details when he's had a little time to process it. Vallaki is my home, I grew up here and I've seen what the garda do in the light, and it's not an easy job. Benedikte isn't from here, he's from Barovia, the small village. Maybe he would be better as a guard in the town, than here. I know that he cares, but lately... There's a... A darkness for lack of better words... The way he looked at me when he smashed Andris' head against the tree... It's not something I've seen on his face before.

I knew that loving a garda would not be easy, and I know they have to do what is needed to keep Vallaki safe. I was not really ready to accept the level of violence I would have to see. I still don't want to. I also can't deny my own rising hostility. Anger is hard to control at times, and I suppose that is part of what Marissa meant. I know that I have to control myself at all times, keep my emotions under control, but... It seems that when I reach a certain point, I become cold. I feel empty, void of anything except this bitter iciness.

This is the second time such has happened. And the second time I deliberately went out of my way to inflict harm upon something. That Jackdaw did not deserve to be frozen to death, but I did it, and it is only now, hours after the fact, that I am even beginning to feel an inkling of regret. I am very thankful that the magic I know is not really that harmful. I fear what I could do if my magic was of the sort that would harm. The weave is what makes up everything, magic comes from it, and misusing it has consequences. But when Nyanka said she hopes I never have children? I lost it.

In that moment I wanted to bind her in shadows and make her hurt herself. I wanted to watch her suffer. I wanted to curse her. Every single inch of my being meant those words when I said I hope she experiences the joy of being in love and being pregnant, and the pain of loosing it over and over again. It felt so powerful to utter those words.

Maybe I do have a darkness in me like Eros would suggest. In that moment I was willing to misuse the weave.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #63 on: January 06, 2023, 02:13:58 PM »
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01,06,778

I'm afraid right now. I fear for Benedikte, all he's endure has made him colder, and for myself. I am possibly with child, and Benedikte will be busy with work for... I don't know how long. The only time I will see him for now will be when he is on duty. I'm afraid. I don't want Benedikte to be in any trouble with his faith. I've suspected for about a week now, but I've been too afraid to find out. Especially now that he is as busy as he is. I'd rather be dissapointed and have it be due to stress, that not know when he will be able to be there for me.

I've been reading the Ezrite books he gave me, and the first two paint her as mortal, while the last two as always having been a Goddess.

I keep thinking back to the Silphium I have. I could take it, he would not risk any trouble with his faith then, but... How he looked at me, there was a glimmer of light in his eyes, but I am still scared. I know how deadly complications can be and birth itself. I could die, the child could die. I don't know if I can handle being pregnant without him by my side, and I certainly don't want him to be more worried.

I took a bullet out of Nyanka's thigh. I hadn't seen a bullet from a gun since the war. Vallaki is starting to feel dangerous, and with rebels and fiends at play here... Not to mention hags.

Hala help me.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #64 on: January 06, 2023, 04:25:22 PM »
Nyanka barged into the Broken Bell, barely clinging to life. Blood gushed from several wounds, including a bullet hole in her thigh. Despite the differences and animosity Narcissa felt towards the woman, she sprung to action. Her healers nature took hold and in that moment she did not care who her patient was, what mattered only in those moments was being able to save her and help.

Her deft hands swiftly packed and bandaged the worst of the wounds, as Benedikte called for her to take Nyanka upstairs. with his help the pair aided the woman up the stairs and into the bed so that Narcissa could work better. Narcissa knew she needed a knife, she had her Athame, but for it to be tainted in blood would mean it would need to be cleansed at best, and so she asked Benedikte for a knife. A short sword was offered to her instead. "The blade is too big." With a sigh she took out her ritual knife. She would deal with the consequences of her choice later, for now she had to act, and she had to act fast. She tore open the hole from the gunshot and exposed the bullet hole wedged firmly in the womans thigh. There was a brief wave of relief as Narcissa noticed that no major veins were severed, she could do this. Benedikte had brought up plenty of liquor, and so Narcissa handed a bottle to Nyanka saying, "Drink." As Nyanka drank, she wadded up some cotton cloth and handed it to her as she doused her hands, the knife and the wound itself with some whisky. "Bite on this, it's going to hurt." She warned as Benedikte came in to hold Nyankas hand to comfort her as best as he could for what was about to happen. The alcohol hit the wound and Narcissa plunged the knife in, wiggling it around until she found the bullet. A swift jerk dislodged it from the bone, and using the knife to keep the wound open, she dug her fingers in and pried the bullet out.

A horrible, gutteral, muffled wail of agony echoed upstairs in the Broken Bell as Narcissa pried the bullet from the former garda's thigh. Nyanka was handed another bottle to drink from as Narcissa cleaned and sutured the wound. Nyanka took a few deep breaths to steady herself before attempting to make herself vomit. "Why are you doing that?" Narcissa questioned her, as she did it again. "Stop that!" she said sternly trying to take the womans hand away.

"I have to get this vraja out of me." She coughed and spat out phlemgh tinged with red. Narcissa was concerned, but that was cut short by Benediktes questioning of her. Some sort of fiend, she heard a name, Zsofika, and heard that she had almost killed the man she loved. A nerve was struck and the cold rage returned. "She did what?!" Benedikte did not reply, his concern was more on who or what had attacked Nyanka. Shaking her head at another failed attempt to purge her stomach, Narcissa grabbed Nyanka's head and pushed it back. Her fingers pried open her mouth as she plunged several down the back of her throat attempting to cause enough to make her vomit. It did not. Narcissa was more focused on what she could do for Nyanka than what the two were speaking about. All that she heard and paid attention to was the name Zsofika, and horns. Some sort of Gundarakite devil worshipper she assumed. It did not matter to her as much as her patient.

"Benedikte, I need egg white and charcoal."

"The shops don't open until morning and I don't think Samvel has any."

"Get me some coal then." She ordered, the man nodding and heading out to fetch what asked. Narcissa set out a bottle of whisky and a vial of powdered herbs. "I'm going to mix an emetic plant into this to make you vomit." She said, adding the powdered bayberry and blessed thistle to the bottle as Benedikte came back with a lump of cool coal. Narcissa thanked him and broke the coal in two, grinding the halves against each other to create a fine powder into the bottle. Satisfied with the concoction, she corked the bottle and gave it a shake before telling Nyanka to drink it all in one go. Knowing what would come, she pulled Benedikte away from the path of projectile vomit that was soon to follow. And follow it did, the womam wretched and heaved, emptying her stomach, and to Narcissa's disgust she watched Ben kneel down and examin the vomit.

It turned out that the Gundarakite had forced her to drink some strange concoction that smelled of sulphur. That was what she was trying to purge, and Benedikte had recognized it as he had seen such a liquid before. He took out a vile causing the weakened woman to recoil. That was the thing she had drank. It reeked of sulphur and made her worry. She would take a sample and seek out a few people to see if they could provide any information about it. She had no idea how much the woman had absorbed from her stomach, nor what the substance was or did. But for now Narcissa could at least relax a little. Nyanka would make it. Although she had spoiled the last night she and Benedikte would have for a while, but it was her first duty to help ease suffering and heal people. She would set aside her dislike and contempt for the woman whose words had hurt her so, and make sure that she would make it through the next few dangerous hours as she lay passed out on the bed.

If only that would be the last traumatic thing she or her beloved Benedikte would deal with.
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ladylena

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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #65 on: January 07, 2023, 11:02:44 AM »
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01,07,778

If the rumour is true about the mobilization of the garda... And about the rebel encampment... Benedikte may end up facing a lot of horror and I'm scared he may not return. If he does not return, I am unsure how I will handle it, it scares me. I may be carrying his child, and if the rumours are true, then.... Maybe the headless rider will do their work for them, and save the garda from more atrocities. It would be swift from my understanding. They would be left headless and die a swift death with little suffering... It's not right, but it may be the best solution.

I have magic at my hands, but all I could do with it would be to put people to sleep, or knock them down with bitter cold wind. I don't want the rumours to be true. I don't want Benedikte to have to go fight against guns and magic when all they will have is potions and mundane weapons.

If the rumours are true, I could seek out where the camp is, and I could try something, maybe I could dominate the mind of their leader and make them return to... Somewhere else, but at the same time, if it is rebels.... It may be my father. At this point he knows that I plan to marry Benedikte, no doubt he'd know that mama sent him on the bride quest.

My father, Fredek Sziga, is a rebel. If these rumours are true, it may end up being my father against the father of my child. My father against the father of his grandchild. Against the man his daughter loves. I don't want the rumours to be true.

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I wish I had not seen that. I could of deluded myself that the rumours were rumours and nothing more. When I saw it my heart sank. I've felt a tightness in my chest since then, and sick to my stomach. I am afraid. I want to give him this gift. He should have an Ezrite amulet to keep him safe and help him through this trying time.

Rumours are true and they are so close to Vallaki, laying claim to land that was never once theirs. What if I loose him? I've gathered up things that I hope can help, it's all I can do.

Emilians words are sticking with me "Be better than you are".

What is it that I truly want to do?

Before I met Benedikte I was certain. As much as Eros caused harm, the imp also made some good points to me. Is marriage what I want? Is being a guards wife what I want?

I do understand more than before why Halans dissaprove of marriage. I've heard rumours that Emilians group is not afraid of magic. I could let it grow unrestricted. I could toss the fear of what it could turn into and welcome whatever destructive, unnatural arcane patterns are revealed to me.

But I love Benedikte with my whole being. I am terrified.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2023, 04:14:17 PM by ladylena »
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #66 on: January 08, 2023, 06:17:37 PM »

The journal has been thrown into the fire of the broken bell as Narcissa sat infront of it, stitching the holes in one of her dresses from an attack by mobats. She watched the fire consume the book to ashes and took a deep, shaky breath. She would be starting a new life soon, and that night had realized that for the man she loved she would give up everything. The chances were more likely that she was with his child, Vallaki was her home and she had now seen the danger the rebels posed so close to home.  She had grown suspicions over the years about her father, as she had been too young to really remember him. It had been so long she barely remembered his face.

She knew her heritage but this was what her mother and her had agreed upon. Her knowing Luktar being a joke started by her father when a little four year old expressed interest in joining the garda, one that had turned into reality as it could prove a useful skill to have. Every word she spoke was true that night. She had not seen him since he left when she was five, his care packages had stopped coming since the Black Army had been defeated. While she did not know the fullest of details to what poor Benedikte had been enduring, she longed to.

Narcissa had grown to love him to a fault. Even if he still pined for his lost love, she still wanted to be his woman. If she had to convert to be his, she would. And so with that understanding of herself she wrote a letter in Luktar, leaving it at their usual designated pick up spot, which she had given to Benedikte. A place she had often run and hidden in as a child. In the middle of the night, under the cover of the pre dawn darkness, Narcissa accepted her fate and made her choice.

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[A letter in Luktar, presumably delivered to her father somewhere in a rebel camp within Barovia]
Papa,

I'm pregnant. Please come home, I need to see you, I'm terrified.

Your loving daughter, Sissi

« Last Edit: January 08, 2023, 06:37:18 PM by ladylena »
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #67 on: January 08, 2023, 07:02:31 PM »

A new journal begins

Quote
01,08,778

This has been a truly awful time. I can not even imagine the horrors Benedikte has endured, and whatever is going on within the garda must be awful. Truly awful. I know that my life has just become more complicated than I ever thought possible. I wish I had never left the walls of the city.  I love Benedikte so much, I suspect i may be my downfall. I'll give my all to this man, who seems to barely give me an ounce.

I miss the man he was. These last few months have taken a hefty toll on him. I wish we could of stayed in that cabin in Barovia. I was the happiest I've been there.
« Last Edit: January 08, 2023, 07:06:44 PM by ladylena »
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #68 on: January 09, 2023, 09:32:29 AM »

Quote
01,09,778

I was baptised, and the entire time I had hoped that Benedikte would make it. I had hoped that him seeing it would bring a smile to his face. A true smile, one that meets his eyes. I admit that for the briefest of moments when he acted as though he would leave me, two thoughts came to my mind, and neither one was good. This hell water, I will hold on the this small sample, I know it takes as little as a drop on the skin, if I have no more desire to go on as I am now, perhaps I will drink it. I want to help Benedikte with his past love, loosing someone and knowing not of their fate would weigh on me too, the proper thing is to help him find her, but what I really want to do is make him admit she's dead and move on. Make him believe he has known her dead for months, maybe years, that he has grieved for her already. I could do it while he sleeps, I've seen robes that enable one to use magic without uttering a word, he wouldn't wake up... And I could make him forget I ever did it.

But that is wrong to do. Even if it would help ease the suffering that poor man is going through. It would be wrong. Yet part of me doesn't care.

I spoke with Mama last night about Papa, I asked her if she thinks he is still alive. I didn't want to see her cry, I didn't mean to upset her. She hasn't heard word from him either since the war. She hit me when I told her I sent him letters. I haven't seen her this furious with me since I was nine and accidentally made the tree glow. She called me stupid, idiotic, told me that doing so I threatened everything she had been trying to secure for me. She was right. She is right. Papa is most likely dead, and I was stupid. So incredibly naive and stupid.

I'll tell Benedikte the truth if he asks me why my face is bruised. He probably would agree with my mothers reaction.

Sometimes, I think I assume the best in everyone and ignore the possibility that they are not all that good of a person until it is too late.

I don't know if this is a flaw or a gift.
« Last Edit: January 09, 2023, 10:09:15 AM by ladylena »
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #69 on: January 09, 2023, 11:24:34 AM »
She was scared, and what does anyone with a mother still alive do when in such emotion? Narcissa went home.

It had been quite a long while since she'd been home and she explained to her mother that Benedikte had shown her the pelt he had hunted and that his duties as a city guard were causing the delay. Cosmina understood it, the life of a garda was far from an easy one, and to be wed to one carried additional hardships. These were not the things that she had wanted for her daughter, but she had seen the love and she knew how much it meant to her daughter for her to bring home a man. She would see if the pelt was to her standards, Narcissa knew that but she still hoped that it would be. She could not speed this up more than she had. What remained now was for Benedikte to take the time to give it to her.

"Mama, there were rebels in the woods."

"I know my dear. Why do you bring it up? Benedikte wasn't hurt was he?" She asked, stirring the stew on the stove.

"Battered, bruised but not physically broken." Narcissa stressed.

"It's not an easy choice he's been forced to make lately Narcissa. Life as a garda is far from easy. It's why I never wanted you to join them. I thought you would learn that from working as a nurse in the last war." Cosmina said turning from the pot to look at her daughter.

"I think the garda superiors, or maybe even one of the counts representatives, are scrutinizing the garda... Benedikte was concerned about my green eyes. Someone suggested that I was fey."

Cosmina shook her head, "Probably some girl who is envious. I told you I had a great aunt of Forarian descent, right?" Her daughter nodded.

"He asked about papa..."

Cosmina straightened her back, a scowl creeping onto her face. "Narcissa..."

"I told him what you've always told me. He kept pressing, and well... When I was little and I'd go and hide... Papa always said that if I got scared or missed him to leave a letter there and he'd find me..."

"Narcissa, you didn't." Her mother said, the colour draining from her face, a reaction she had seen not long ago. Her mother marched across the small kitchen to where Narcissa was sitting. Narcissa gulped, feeling her body begin to quake.

"Oh you stupid, stupid child!" She shouted cracking the spoon in her hand across her daughters face hard enough to send splinters onto the table and floor. "I can not believe you Narcissa! How could you possibly so stupid. You could ruin every single thing I've worked so hard to get for you!"

Narcissed cried out in shock and pain, her hand going to the side of her face were she was stuck. Looking horrified at the blood on her hand. "You have no idea how hard I have worked to secure a good life for you." Cosmina said shaking her head and scowling at her daughter in a way only a mother can.

"I-I'm sorry... Mama..." She asked nervously in a pained voice. "Is he even alive?"

Cosmina grabbed a chair and sat in it with a heavy sigh and tears welling up. "The reason I cherish that bottle that was poisoning me is because it was the last thing he sent me. He has not made any contact since the events in Zeidenberg." The tears began to flow her her mothers warm brown eyes. "You had better hope he is dead Narcissa." She said coldly pointing to the door.

Narcissa nodded, and pulled the hood up over her face, and left for the broken bell, her head down. Droplets of blood marking her trail for a little ways past the gate to the slums.
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #70 on: January 10, 2023, 03:05:42 PM »
Narcissa had gambled that night. Not with any money or cards or dice, but with fate. She had her hopes in which direction fate would go, but had resigned herself to the choices she had made. Narcissa loved Benedikte wholly, but that night she was prepared to bleed.

Narcissa sat in the Broken Bell as she had many nights now. The bruise and gash from her mothers outburst had formed a scab and was no longer swollen. It was a mark she had tried to hide but the swelling was going down and tonight, she would pick the scab and see how the scent of blood would change things. She was willing to make a deal with a devil if that is what it would take for her to have her beloved back in her arms. Narcissa hoped and prayed that it would be Benedikte who would enter the inn that night. She hoped he would show up for her, and her emerald green eyes watched the door, waiting.

"I'm really going to do this..." she admitted to herself with resignation.

Her mind skipped back to that morning, a small smile forming as she remembered his words. She had missed his voice, but she was beginning to understand the situation. She spoke with a few people she trusted about her worries and fears relating to Benedikte, and each had helped her better understand. She was aware of the rumours about their Count, and now she was aware a woman named Talena Von Zarovich was around. Benedikte had lost his last bride under the gaze of the castle owned by Count Strahd Von Zarovich, and now a Von Zarovich was acting as a representative of the count here, in Vallaki. She was starting to understand the fear he must surely be facing interally, amplified by questions about her eye colour.

Cosmina had never officially been married, she had been a wise woman and thought well ahead for her daughter. She owned the house, she had made certain to leave no traces that could cause her daughter to suffer, but she had not forseen her daughters own course of actions that would result in suffering none the less. Cosmina could not of predicted the scrutinization of the garda, nor the difficulties Narcissa's lack of a father could cause. Least of all the fear her daughter would face not knowing if she would have Benedikte at her side while she faced the joys and risks of carrying his child, or what lengths she may go.

Narcissa's ears twitched as she heard the door open and her eyes lit up in early hopes of seeing Benedikte. Those hopes were dashed replaced instead by an acceptance of what fate had handed her that night. She would play these cards, and pay the blood toll for her wish. With that in mind, she spoke six words to the one who had entered the bell at the hands of fate.

"I have a favour to ask..."
« Last Edit: January 11, 2023, 10:44:54 AM by ladylena »
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #71 on: January 10, 2023, 03:13:36 PM »
Quote
01,10,778

I thought I knew the price I'd pay, why do I remember doing that... I feel a little weak. Maybe I drank too much and he took advantage of me? I don't think I would of agreed to paying.... that way. It's done though, I waited many nights in the inn, he could of come at any time.

I can't undo what I've done, I can only hope it wont bring more suffering.

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Chin up Narcissa, you know what he is. Maybe he never laid a hand on me, but these memories are too real... I have no bite mark, I don't feel particularly weak. Did I really sleep with him? The memories would lead me to say yes, but... Despite how gentle or tender or loving a touch, the only man I would ever let touch me that way is Benedikte.

You know what he is Narcissa, you just don't know as much as you should.

I always thought vampires drank blood, do they have other needs? I never thought they did. Based on what I know, and what people say, he is. So then why are there memories so intimate that the idea of them being with anyone other than Benedikte makes me sick, in my mind? Why?
« Last Edit: January 10, 2023, 06:24:52 PM by ladylena »
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #72 on: January 11, 2023, 09:56:29 AM »
Quote
01,11,778

I am going to take the silphium. Carrying this child is making me loose my mind.
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #73 on: January 11, 2023, 04:28:41 PM »
With enough wool and weaving materials to keep herself occupied, Narcissa made her way back into her land. Back to Barovia, although she would not return to Vallaki for some time yet. With a bottle of wine in one hand and a key in the other, she went up to her room at the Blood of the Vine and mixed the Silphium into the glass of wine. It took her several minutes staring at the glass before she would bring it to her lips, swallowing the mixture that would end the child growing within her. It was not what she wanted, not at all. No, Narcissa wanted to keep it, she wanted to be a mother to Benedikte's children, but that was not to be right now. For as much as she wanted to keep it, she knew that she could not.

She had always had such a strong control over her emotions and thoughts and actions, but ever since she began to grow a life within her, she'd felt that grasp dwindle. She'd felt her control lessen each week, and her most recent actions made her realize too clearly the state she was in. If this was to be how she would react to carrying a child, carrying a child would see her comitted to Zarcroft. That would cause more suffering for all involved than putting an end to it. In her current state she had thought it was a valid action, a proper choice to seek the aid of a vampire to manipulate the mind of someone. A thing she would not even do herself, but she had.

Her mind was not well, be it from the child itself, the effects it would have on her body, or from the stresses and fears of the growing tension in Vallaki and within the garda. Narcissa cried. She sobbed. She did not want to give up the child, but nor could she continue with it. It would be a painful thing to do to herself, but it was one she ultimately needed to do. Carrying his child was risking a lot for Benedikte. They were unwed, she had only just been baptised, and his past bride to be haunted him. During a time when Narcissa felt she needed the father of their child more than ever, he was more absent and distant than ever before. It hurt, it cut deep, but it was dawning on her that no matter what she wanted, if it was not to be, she could not have it.

She sat the now empty glass down and refilled it. She did not want to be sober tonight. She would not return to Vallaki until her mind was clear once more. She would return and refocus on the hospice, on helping people. She would return and hope that someday her beloved Benedikte would return to her.
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Re: Powers Seduction
« Reply #74 on: January 14, 2023, 02:01:19 PM »
Quote
01,14,778

Well, that's that I guess. I suppose in my previous state I had deluded myself into believing that we had not separated, but, truth is... I will wait for him. While we may no longer be together and my heart aches, I can accept this. It is not something that I can change or alter. It will be his choice. And I will accept his choice. At least now I can. Everything was clouded and I was terrified, my actions during that time... While I am under control now, would such a thing happen if I tried to carry a child again? Would that paranoia and fear take my mind again? Would I be able to maintain control of myself? Or was it simply a matter of too much stress for me to handle?

It's done now. I can think clear again, and I can see my mistakes. I'm glad Benedikte finally came to talk, it saddens me greatly though. I have gone through this before. Three times infact. Now this is the fourth time I have been set to marry, and for something to come up. At least he did not die or go insane. I have that to be thankful for. And perhaps, some day, he will change his mind, and maybe when he does, my heart will still long for him.

For now, I should focus my attention elsewhere, there is little use in dwelling on things I can't change. I must simply accept them as they are.

But my heart aches, and these tears flow freely. 
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