Within the swirling Mist (IC) > Biographies
The Wild Pirate Named Jimmy
Ric:
Lost at Sea
With each little adventure that James participates in, he recalls his own little silly adventures from the past. Sitting over the docks of Lake Zarovich, one morning, the crazed Luskan elf imagined seeing the Silver Rose floating by, and with that, he got lost in a flashback of one of his old adventures.
"Cap'n!" Called a young first mate James, who stood at the very front of the drifting Silver Rose, "Oi fink oi see n' oi'lan'!"
"Doon'cha mean 'LAND-HO!', Jimmeh?" Called Captain Aset from the far back as he steered his ship. The other crew-mates shook their heads and grunted.
A handsome dwarf with a long, red beard called out, "Lemmeh look, Cap'n, Jimmeh's gunnae git oos' lost agin!" The captain nodded in reply, and the dwarf grasped the railing at the front of the ship and hoisted himself up, squinting his eyes. "Oi dinnut see n' oi'lan, Jimmeh ..." He muttered in a low tone.
"Yer nut troi'yin 'ard enoof, Aaro!" Shouted James, slapping the dwarf on the back of the head. He then extended his index fingers directly in front of him, "Waaaaaay oot thar, see 'ut? S'ae bloomin' smoll lookin' frum 'ere, boot oi fink tha's oor nex destoonay'shoon!"
"Tha' dinnae look loik n' oi'lan, Jimmeh!" Aaro shook his head and turned to the Captain, "Shed weh foloo 'is, Cap'n?"
The crew-members growled and Aset shrugged his shoulders, keeping the destination straight ahead to that point, "Weh'll give'ut a shot. Oll th' men're gittin' hoongreh. If'fin weh foind an' oi'lan, weh'll git sum stoof t' fill oor bellehs!"
After a short while, James and Aaro stared at the spot they were closing toward. Aaro swallowed once they seemed close enough, "Jimmeh ... Oi thot 'is wos an' oi'lan ..." Sweat began forming over his face. The spot turned out to be a rather large shadow.
"Oih moi lor'!" James' eyes widened and he quickly turned around. "CAP'N! TOORN TH' SHIP A'ROON, QUI-" Before he could finish his words, a gigantic black whale emerged it's magnificent body, creating a wave that rocked the ship quite far!
Aset, with eyes forming a mixture of rage and horror, stared at James, "JIMMEEEEEEEHHHHHHH!!!"
To be continued ... ((As my time just got chopped up! :oops:))
Ric:
Lost at Sea (Part II)
"Joos look at tha'!" James cheered with excitement while dancing at the front deck, the other crew-members desperately trying to hold ongo osmething as the absurdly harsh waves ravaged the Silver Rose. Even while the waves tore through the ails and caused all the cargo within to crash back and forth, James continued to hop out and down. "Weeeeee hawwww! BOIS! Ain't 'is great!?"
"Jimmeh, shoot oop, oil'readeh!" Aaro said as he tumbled face first next to James and continued rolling toward the other side of the ship. "Oi'm gunna fooken toss yeh off th' boot if'fin yeh keep 'is oop!"
The Captain kept his legs parted and held tightly onto the wooden steering wheel. He looked to his disorganized crew of groaning men, and then he focused his eyes on James. "Make yerself yoos'fool n' fooken feed yerself t' th' whale sae e' shoots oop!" Aset pointed his finger toward the whale, "Yeh gut us intae 'is mess, yer gunnae git 'oos oot, Jimmeh!"
Suddenly the gigantic sea creature rose up and crashed its body near the ship, causing it to rise and tilt so much that a few of the crew-mates were literally thrown into the sea! All the men shouted and ran around the ship, searching for any means of weaponry available on board.
Aset was screaming at the top of his lungs "Tha' fooken bastird's doo'un 'is oon per'poos, bois! Oi fink it beh hoongreh're piss'd!"
From the deck below, a large, fat, peg-legged oaf was projected upward by the sudden drop after the wave ended. The crash was devastating enough that he went through the wood and found himself back on the main deck. In his arms, he held a large barrel, and looking up to the worried captain, he made a stunning report, "HERE! FOOD FOR BIG FISH, CAPTAIN!"
Aset shook his head, "NAY! Tha' beh th' las' scrabs o' ra'shoons weh've gut left, Morgan! Toss 'ut back doon 'n grab a spear! An' whoile yer a'tut-" He paused, and his eyes widened as an over-excited James snatched the barrel from the fat oaf, moving toward the direction the whale swam. "JIMMEH! Whot th' fook d'ye fink yer doo'in!?"
"Save'un th' dayeh, Cap'n!" James cheered as he heaved the barrel off the ship, ignoring all the 'NAAAAAY's that echoed from the entire crew.
Strangely enough, the whale made one more exciteful crash into the sea, and with that ... It vanished ...
The last crash did leave quite a mark on the Silver Rose, however. Many of the sails were torn, most of the cargo on the main deck was thrown overboard with about four crew-mates (they were recovered, fortunately), and just about all the cargo and furniture was either ruined or tossed into distortion below the main deck.
After Aset commanded a dozen of the crew-mates to go below the decks and dig for replacement sails, he lined up the others, including Jimmy. Everyone stood silently as the enraged Captain Aset paced his loud, rubber boots against the wooden planks of the deck. The squeaking with the water over the wood made many of the men twitch uncomfortably. James shifted his eyes left and right and made an innocent smile as Aset passed him a third time.
When Aset saw this smile, he paused, turned to James, and backhanded him abruptly. "Dae yeh wonnae knoo whot th' fook yeh joos did, Jimmeh?"
Rubbing his cheek, James lifted his chin, "Oi, Cap'n! Yeh shed fank meh fer save'un th' ship frum doom!"
"Yeh BASTIRD!" Aset backhanded him on the other cheek with his other hand, "Tha' wos th' onleh food weh 'ad left! 'It'ool take 'oos dayehs t' git back t' fooken Loosken!"
James' jaw dropped, and his eyes bulged out, "Oih ... Oi did'nae fink o' tha', Cap'n!"
The other crew-mates stared down at James with a gaze of death. They wanted to castrate him, bash him, stab him, KILL HIM! Aaro even spat over the soaked deck and stomped his boot over it, "Yer fooken gittin' cook'd fer dinnoor if'fin yeh dinnae fink o' a plan, Jimmeh! YEH gut 'oos intae 'is!"
Oh did James hear THAT one before ... 'Yeh gut 'oos intae 'is, git oos oot!' It was a phrase that became an analogy to his name. If there's trouble on the ship, it's probably Jimmy's fault, they'd always say.
"Roit, 'ere's th' plan, bois, colm doon!" James held his hands up and cleared his throat, "Weh're gunnae ... Make yoos o' th' spears oot n' catch'oos an easeh mee'ool! 'En 'en weh're 'eadood sooth!"
Aset narrowed his eyes in suspicion, "An ... Whot's sooth? Looskan's fooken Noorth, ye git!"
"Aye, Cap'n, boot thar's an oi'lan, oi'm shoor oov 'ut!" James was lying, of course, becuase he knew that if he didn't come up with something, he was going to get it. As an 'unofficial' gambler, he had to take risks, and one of them was hoping there 'would' be land to the south.
"If'fin yer fooken wif oos, Jimmeh, weh're toos'in ye oovar'boord!" Aset declared, going down below to fetch some spears.
"Oi sayeh weh eat'im," Aaro said with a horrid laugh as he took a spear and moved to the edge.
The day followed quite slow and fatigue-rendering. The sails were replaced, the decks were swiped, the fair meal was caught, and the ship was set to the course James made up. Distrubingly enough, when the crew-members were moments away from declaring the tossing of James, an island DID appear ...
"LAND-HO, CAP'N!" James cheered happily and stomps his boots over the main deck.
"Oi dinnae beleev 'ut ..." Aset and several others said.
To be continued ...
Ric:
Lost at Sea (Part III)
The Silver Rose reached the island during the afternoon, after hours of crew-mates growled at a very fortunate James. The Captain never took his eyes off the flaming-haired elf, and the bearded dwarf, Aaro, simply stayed below the main deck. "Oi fooken told'ja tha' weh'd foind a bloomi'n oi'lan!" James broke the long silence.
"SHOOT OOP, JIMMEH!" The crew-mates all called at once.
"Whot, oi did, didn't oi?" Poor James looked between each of them.
Captain Aset directed the nearest man to turn the ship close to the beach, and then he pointed hid index finger to James as he approached the crew-mates. "Jimmeh, weh'll wait 'ere, ye take Morgan n' Aaro wif ya on tha' oi'lan!"
James scratched his forehead and protested, "Boot whoi oos, Cap'n?"
"Coos' yeh fooken gut 'us stook 'ere, sae yer gunnae git oos sum food n' shet!" Aset explained, "If'fin yeh dinnae coom boi soon'set, weh're leav'un ye 'ere, gut tha!?" James was about to move his lips before Aset spoke again, "GUD! Noo gae git Morgan n' Aaro n' shoov oof!"
The three didn't have much say in the matter. Morgan was in trouble for the suggestion of tossing out their food, James was in trouble for being himself, and Aaro ... Well, he didn't have good reason for being punished. "WHOI MEH!?" The dward screamed as two men dragged him by the legs last, after having tossed Morgan and James off the ship. "Oi did'nae dae aneh'fin!"
As he was heaved in, Aset stood over them and rose his fist up high. "Git moov'in, gits! Th' soon'll beh goo'in doon if'fin yeh waste yer toime!"
While the three swam the shallow waters of the island's beach, Morgan paddled his arms while grunting. "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, JIMMY?"
"Fook if'fin oi knoo, Morgan!" James scowled as he stopped swimming and stood to his feet. The waters soaked his leggings, and he bickered like an old woman. "Fer th' loov o' th' guds, kin oi joos' stayeh droi fer a dayeh?"
"NOPE!" Aaro laughed as he, too, stood from his swimming position. "Sae whot, whar th' fook're weh gunnae git food?"
The three stood in front of what appeared to be an endless forest. Plants, ranging from shrubs to magnificently sized trees. James folded his arms and looked between the two, pondering. "Sae bois, uh ... Gut aneh tools t' yoos?" James asked them.
Morgan drew a large, wooden club at his side, "THIS!"
Aaro spat over the sands of the beach and reached for a rather large, one-sided axe. "Oi've gut meh troosteh darlin'!"
"Roi 'un," James nodded and started into the forest, his companions trailing behind. It was not long before James paused and wondered out loud, "Fink th' trees 'ave aneh yoos?"
The two behind him looked to each other with sly grins. Aaro tapped James on the shoulder and pushed the axe into his arms, "Jimmeh, ye take 'is an' werk 'un choopin' doon a big'un. Morgan n' oi'll coontin'ye lookin' aroon!"
"Aye-aye!" James smiled and looked to the largest tree surrounding him. Without any hesitation, he drew it back and swung, again and again.
As Morgan and Aaro were out of ear-shot from James, the two snickered and patted each other. "Noice oideah, Morgan! Le's foind summin' t' appeas th' cap'n n' git oota 'ere wifoot fooken Jimmeh!"
It was not long before the two located an abandoned hut, of which contained several crates of fruits, barrels of fish, and various containers of seemingly clean water. The two cheered in joy as they looked through everything, and then a loud growl alerted them from outside.
With deep brown fur, sharpened claws, and a head of a mad wolf, a gnoll fropped a bucket of fish and snorted, eyeing the two with utter hatred for their obvoius intrusion. As it began charging for the two, Morgan grabbed an over-filled fruit crate and heaved it directly into the beast's face, knocking him on his back.
"ROON!" Aaro shouted as he hoped over the gnoll and started for the way they came. Morgan was not too far behind at alll, and it was only moments before the two could hear the loud, crude steps of the gnoll's bare feet tearing up the ground.
James made one more swipe against the tree, and he watched the entire damned thing slowly descend! He saw his two companions charging for him, and before he could even greet them, Morgan heaved the left over his right shoulder and continued charging. James eyes widened at the sight of the gnoll, "OIH SHET, WHOT TH' FOOK'S THA'!?"
Unfortunately for the gnoll, the tree was still descending, and with quicker velocity as well. The gnoll noticed the large shadow following him, but it was too late to move, for the heavy wrath of nature brought itself downward, ending the vicious hermit.
"BOIS, BOIS, BOIS!" James cheered, "E's fook'd! Poot meh doon!"
Morgan and Aaro turned, and the dwarf leaped up and cackled madly, "Well whot d'ye fooken knoo? LOOT TOIME!"
"LOOT!" Morgan threw James down and ran back toward the hut.
"Loot?" Jamed blinked and started after him, "OI'M IN!"
The retrieval of the supplies was a success, and with a satisfied crew, they returned to Luskan, and the entire trip, James boasted about his amazing skill in defeating the gnoll that made Aaro and Morgan wet themselves ...
Ric:
The Slide Show
James managed that first night on stage with Charlotte and Ginger quite well, as they had done in their other performance within the Von Zeklos Keep. Working with the two was quite simple, he discovered, for a simple explanation on what was needed was child’s play for Charlotte and Ginger to ponder. It was as if this ‘trio’ was destined to be, and more … Perhaps grow further with new talent found.
The night that James laid in bed with Charlotte, he looked toward the window of their bedroom in the Broken Bell Inn, where his eyes fixated on the stars and moon highlighting Vallaki. As he stared, his eyelids became heavy, and off to his dreams he drifted.
Far … Into the past, yet again …
James recalled an amusing challenge brought to him and his crew-members after the incident on the gnoll-infested island. It was significant because it would lead to the rather disturbing self-esteem within James in the present. That thin layer of drive that grants the will to push him to do anything feasible.
It all started with a little bearded man cheering in the streets of Luskan. “Hear ye! Hear ye! Auditions to be the amazing hero that battles the dragon! Come on, men! Show us your stuff!”
“Did’ja ‘ear tha!?” James asked the bearded Aaro while the dwarf was occupied with a raw fish in his mouth. “Peeps’re oofferin’ he’roo businoos! Oi bit thar’s loot’sae coin t’ make wif ‘at!"
Aaro shook his head and spit out an eyeball, "Jimmeh, moi hearin's shet, kin yeh repeat tha' bool'shet yeh joos' sed?"
James nudged him again.
"STOOP THA', FOOKAR!" Aaro growled back and spit out the second eyeball.
"Oi sed ... SUMMUN'S PAY'YIN MOONEH T' KILL A FOOKEN DRAGOON!" James shouted, nearly spitting on his friend. The poor sod surely did not listen, for the idea of an 'audition' didn't strike his mind.
Aaro, who was chewing, paused. Turning his head very slowly, his eyes bulged out and he swallowed the fish head chunks, "Yer shetten meh, roit, Jimmeh? Whar th' fook did 'ey git a DRAGOON!?"
"Fook if'fin oi knoo! C'moon, Aaro! Groo sum bolls!" James ran down the path of the little bearded man. "SHOORTEH! WAIT OOP!"
The bearded man led them to a large tent with a stage in the center of it. As James, Aaro, and the bearded man closed in on it, several Luskans stepped out while grumbling incoherently. "Ain't 'ey lookin' satisfoi'd?" Aaro wondered.
"Oi knoo, oi knoo!" James declared, holding up his right index finger, "Oi bit 'ey wuss'd oot! Th' dragoon'd kill'em if'fin 'ey gut near 'ut!"
Aaro nodded, and then the bearded man stepped through the entry of the tent and pointed to the stage. The two feasted their eyes on what appeared to be a blonde woman fanning herself while tapping her foot impatiently with a figure wearing a badly designed (and torn) lizard costume.
"LASSEH!" James declared as he leaped forward and pointed at the concealed figure, "WOTCH OOT, TH' DRAGOON!"
"Huh?" The woman blinked and ceased her fanning, "Excuse me, but are you the next loser to audition?"
"JOOS' A SECOON, LASSEH!" James' eyes bulged out and he looked around desperately. Aaro was watching in disbelief as his flamboyant companion ran toward a rack of wooden swords, snatching one. "Alas! Oi 'ave a soord!" James cried out as he ran to the stage.
"Please, please!" The woman said in a dramatically expressed tone, "Someone must save me from this fiend- ... What are you doing!?" She was stunned, along with everyone else in the tent, for James had leapt unto the stage, where he shoved the figure to the floor and raised the sword to smash it against head several times. The woman cried out in her first tone, "STOP! That's too much! You're going to hurt him!"
"Shoot oop, Lasseh!" James said as he broke the sword over the figure's head, "Oops! Well .... Oi fink e's ded, aneh'hoo." The figure was laying on the ground without moving.
Aaro and the lady remained silent, and the beardless man finally applauded while whistling. "Congratulations! You are hired!"
Really_Evil_Pigeon:
--- Quote from: Ric on April 29, 2007, 03:38:55 PM --- pale lady with very revealing clothes.
--- End quote ---
Always love your writing :P a pleasure to read I am biased though, *Coughs* you mentioned my baby girl *coughs*
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