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Author Topic: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism  (Read 2299 times)

Willy

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Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« on: January 02, 2022, 06:41:19 PM »
Quote
A single page in a notebook, securely tucked away in someones possession. The writing is in Akiri hyroglyphs.



I am bored. Bored enough to consider scribbling some lines down, words that will never reach anyone but myself. This 'vacation' has proven to be a test of patience, with me sitting around and waiting for the days to pass. I get to think a lot during this time. More than I'd like. And once you realized you've avoided actually thinking about your life, you learn that there are things still needing to be taken care of. Things you've shoved to the very back of your conscience, if such a thing exists at all.

There is no reason to write these things down, to bring them to paper. Seba, I will probably throw this page away anyways - or even better, burn it. No time to be sentimental once I'm back in Vallaki and busy with work. I have plans to make, plots to scheme. And a vrolok to get rid of.

Curious, now that I think of it. I do wonder how everything would have turned out if I'd just kept living my old life. Scour the sands for travelers, gut them, take their food, water and coin. Father would have kicked the bucket eventually, and there would have been a good chance of me becoming his successor. Yet, if I compare my current situation with that possibility? I think I'm better off now. I've never gone thirsty or hungry in this wretched land. It has its flaws, no doubt - one of them being the cold, another the plenty of bloodsuckers. The mummies at least stay in their tombs and don't bother those that just try to survive.

But then again, there are other things as well. Neuri. Skinwalkers. The ones in Barovia tend to have fur, but a while ago the Smiling Death has sent His blessed children to aid me. Why? I don't know. But they came, and it is a sign. It has to be. He has chosen me back when I was young, and He reminded me of that. My faith never faltered once, and I was rewarded twice already.

I will have to make more sacrifices, and soon. Maybe I can do that while getting my work done at the same time. May Sobek's gaze upon me be favourable.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2022, 03:01:57 PM »
Quote
A new page is added...



I didn't burn this, after all. Odd. Something must be wrong with my head; Maybe the vroloks vraja is still lingering inside? Or have I just grown this lazy? Maybe all that alcohol I downed during those few weeks has taken its toll on me. I should have known better than that. Drinking myself into a stupor every night, just to ease the pain. People could have exploited me easily. Still, I've come to like drinking a beer or tsuika every now and then. Avoided anything alcoholic for so many years, and suddenly things have changed. I just need to be careful not to overdo it. Don't want my tongue to get loose, my secrets be spilled.

I am still very confused about... some things. Don't want to write them down, even. It's a nightmare. A horrible, horrible nightmare. The worst thing? I can't blame this on anything or anyone. Wasn't drinking when it first happened. Wasn't under anyones influence. It's just a me-thing. A proof that something is, indeed, very wrong with me. Or maybe it's his fault. Yet, for some reason, I can't bring myself to be mad at him. Instead I just feel... excitement. It's weird. Makes me want to stab things, but not him. Never him.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #2 on: January 17, 2022, 02:28:49 AM »
Quote
Frantic scribbles...




It lingers, this thought. Am I different? Or is everyone else just putting on a show, trying to blend in with a false society? I can't recall ever feeling a thing when someone told me about the hardships they had to endure; The pain they had to go through. I know how to react to something like that, because I was taught how. People want to be comforted. It's like a request, yes?

'I tell you how shitty my life was, and you will give me a hug and say some nice words. In return I will act like I like you a bit more than others. Okay?'

'Okay.'


And then a game is played. Or at least that's what I thought so far. But are there truly people that take pity in others? The cultists that preach about taking care of others, protecting others - is there a possibility they aren't doing that just to appear like the heroes in some child stories?
I have to keep a closer eye on them. Look for the signs that give them away, that falsity in their behavior. And at the same time, I have to get better at feigning these things. Today I failed horribly, I think.

Yet, the sole fact that I want it to appear as correct as possible drives me mad. Don't judge me, Smiling Death. This is just another way of hunting, I'm sure.

I just haven't figured it out yet.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2022, 02:32:52 AM »
Quote
Tiny pictures drawn with thoughtful strokes.




Time moves slowly these last few days. Feels like I'm wading through honey, my insides all numb, my movements sluggish. I'm just. Waiting. For something to happen. Something to develop. And yet there is so much to do, it just takes time. Things need to ripen, like a fruit on a tree. The seeds have been planted a long time ago, the tree has grown, and now I stand under it, hungrily staring upwards.

Just a little more patience.

I'm close to insanity, though. Or at least that's how I feel. While the fruit develops, I have to be on the constant lookout for people trying to chop this tree down. Look up. Look down. Look around yourself. Look up once more. Anything changed? No. Look around again. Someone behind the trunk? No.
It just doesn't stop.

Give me that damned fruit already. Those damned fruits. Because it's more than one, and I have to keep track of each of them individually.

One is wealth.
Two is satisfaction.
Three is revenge.
Four is safety.
Five is special.


"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2022, 07:01:12 AM »
Quote
Slightly crinkled paper.




There should be something resonating inside me, right? Some form of pain, probably. After all, Kolya was sent by Sobek.

A gift.

A blessing.

A tool.

I used him like I use my blades or my lockpicks or those trinkets I carry around. He was there, he trusted me, and I made the most out of it. No, really. The loss of a tool is an inconvenience, but it can be replaced. It will be replaced. Why would I mourn such a thing. And indeed, I just feel slightly annoyed, but in general pretty much satisfied by this outcome. As much as I had loved to be the one delivering the fatal wound, to use his death to my own advantage - I now have an opportunity to gain another thing from it. Equally worthwhile, if not more. My personal revenge.

A lesson I learned quickly in life was this: a predator can become prey to another. It mustn't necessarily be a stronger one; Sometimes it's enough to make one false step and just like that, you end up in a situation from which there is no escape, hurt and weakened. You fail to read the room and suddenly people pull their weapons on you. Act too happy in a place where sadness is expected, and everyone will turn on you. The world is crazy like that.

The fourth fruit is just shy of being ripe, and the third is ever growing. And yet, most of my attention rests on the fifth.


"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2022, 05:08:40 AM »
Quote
Inkblotches where the pen rested for a moment...




I am thinking a lot about death recently. It is that priestess' fault, the one from Muhar. She told us to figure out our own Ma'at, and when I started doing so? I realized how screwed I am once I die. My soul will be weighed and it will be deemed unworthy, there is no doubt and I won't give myself any false hope. Even though there is nothing I could have done differently. Or is there?

I killed my first man when I was the size of a Halfling. Father was so proud. I remember his triumphant grin, how he picked me up and carried me on his shoulder after the raid, and I was laughing, happy that I have done something right. I don't even know how old I was then, but it was so, so long ago. And when we returned and mother heard about it, she was only sad. I remember that, too. But mother was always sad. I know why, by now. I didn't know back then.
Throughout the years, with every raid, every fight I took part in, I grew more used to it. Just survival. We were the predators out there, in the heat and loneliness of the desert, and these other people were the prey. Capture the survivors, round them up, see if they can be sold as slaves. If they can't? Break their legs and leave them in the sands. We have to move on. No resources wasted. It was the right thing to do. The best thing, if you wanted to stay alive. And I wanted to.

Now, these days are behind me. But the gods won't forget. They won't forgive. My Ma'at is ruined, and I am sure I will never be able to fix it. Was that experience in Zeklos a reminder, too? That womans face as we were ripped into pieces by that storm. The agony as I felt myself dying for what I think were... hours. Days, maybe. I think Atuar and I were already dead when we saw her, but our souls suffered instead of our bodies.

I find my hands clutching that necklace he gave me every now and then. Another good reason to stay alive. He suggested I could change how I live, but oh boy, he is so clueless.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2022, 06:37:30 AM »
Quote
Slowly drawn signs and sigils.




I am unsure what to make of the things we learned. Ophelia and I. She is happy, that much is clear. She got what she came for, and she can rest easy now. But not I. Is it true what that woman said? The Ma'at is wrong, a lie, put in place by false gods? Is Sobek false?

No. No no no. The others, maybe, but not Sobek. He has chosen me, saved my life, granted me his blessings not once, but twice. If anything, she is mistaken. I can see the logic behind her words, but even a logical thinker can be wrong when it comes to details. If Sobek cared about the Ma'at, he would have let me die. He would have dismissed my offerings, my prayers, since my soul is doomed already. Why would he grant his strength to one he would love to see suffer?

At least I understand now why I never much liked walking 'in the light'. Stupid Vandryn and his stupid phrases.
Ra's gaze weighs heavily on someone like me. It's not just the fact that shadows and darkness are, plainly spoken, better for hiding. It's literally a gods malevolent gaze upon me that I need to avoid. A curse could be placed upon me any moment. A single missstep under the sun's gaze, and I'm done. I won't be a figure like the pharaoh, I won't make history. I would just suffer by myself and that's it.

I have to seek her out again. Learn more. Find a way to avoid the inevitable.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2022, 11:49:59 AM »
Quote
After a long pause, the writing continues.




Things have moved forward. My tree bore some fruits, though not all of them are fully ripe yet. Wealth will never stop growing, tempting me to pluck it and disappear, but the urge to see it grow even bigger is there. Every day. Every hour. Satisfaction is still ripening, but things have been set in motion and I'm sure, oh so sure, that it will be one of the best ones to finally achieve. Revenge was... denied. It became foul when others managed to take down the quarry which it was linked to. Sad. But this is how it sometimes goes. That fruit of safety was succesfully harvested. I cannot help but laugh about these idiots and their assumptions.

And lastly, the fifth, the special one. It might be ripe. But then again, I am not sure how things will turn out - I took a drastic step, and it responded well. But it is not ready yet, is it? I have no clue how such things work, how to continue. And so I will wait. Watch.

There are other things on my mind recently, things that divert my attention. The constant exhaustion I feel is one of them. Another one is Cynna, and then there is this permanent urge to sink into hot water, like an itch in my mind. The cold season is coming again and this means I'll have to scour the land for those few herbs that can further my studies, and kill the old beasts. And then, of course, the task we've been handed. Our branch is so strong, and yet the progress is slow.

So much to do. So little time.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #8 on: April 17, 2022, 12:12:46 PM »
Quote
The writing, steady and clean, mirrors the authors comfort.





Oh, the irony. When those that antagonize others fail and scramble. When they start to scream and make up stories to colour their victims the 'bad guys'.

The self-proclaimed heroes of the core, suddenly lying through their teeth to get whoever they can on their side. I cannot help but laugh.

May Sobek feast on their hearts.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2022, 10:15:35 AM »
Quote
A detailed hieroglyph, drawn with great care...





The gaze of my enemy weighs heavy on me. He stares at me. Judges me. Stalks me.

But at the end of the day it is not him that is causing me trouble, no. His cultists are. Meddlesome bunch.

Sobek conjures the rain and the clouds over Barovia to shield me from Ra's eye, a quarrel between gods. But I have to take care of these cultists myself.

This is my task. My hunt.

And once I am done with that, I might get my chance at gouging out a gods eye.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #10 on: April 29, 2022, 07:39:43 AM »
Quote
A sinister little drawing.





I find myself wondering over and over again about how to destroy the Eye of Ra.

It is up in the sky, and I am just a human, with little power to my hands besides those which Sobek grants me. If only I had more?

The shadows deny me an answer to this day. I figured they wanted me to do something about the Eye, too, but that can't be it. Others have harnessed their power and it is still looking down on all of us.

Maybe I am not zealous enough. There are certain places which I have not tried yet, deep under the mountains or in those old crypts, or the forest where the shadow creatures dwell.

Just imagine if I manage to combine the might of Sobek and that of the Dark. The power of Set.

Would Sobek be disappointed if I direct some prayers to his father, I wonder?




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2022, 03:44:57 AM »
Quote
A shadow lurking in the forest...





Steady, steady...

It is one of those rare moments in which my mind is completely clear. No worry crossing my mind. The world shrinks down to me and my target.

I take aim, pull the string back, the dark energy pulsates through the arrows tip. The bowstring whips forward.

The sound of death. After that, everything goes quiet.

There is a serenity in killing things. My hands will not twitch for some time, the constant pressure and stress diminishing. All this bottled up anger and hate is released with just one arrow.

It will serve another purpose, of course. The heart for Sobek. The meat for me.

Every kill has a reason.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #12 on: May 16, 2022, 05:09:47 AM »
Quote
The detailed painting of a crocodile. For some reason it has a lions mane.





A heart is just a muscle in our body, some would say. Just another piece of meat.

And they are right about that last part. It can be eaten. It is, however, more than just meat.

It is where our self resides. Where our strength is stored. Not the bodily strength that allows us to swing our weapons or move boulders, but the strength of the soul. 

Everything that is you is in your heart.

Am-mit, the devourer of souls. She must be overfed from all the hearts she has devoured over the hundreds, thousands of years. And she still hungers for more.

I cannot help but wonder if she feels cheated by Sobek. Or, considering that she is part crocodile, part him, maybe she knows why he did it.

Why he denied her my heart all those years ago.



"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2022, 04:58:46 AM »
Quote
A moment of thought, somewhere in the wilds...





I still fail to understand them. These people. All they do is defy logic, every single moment of their life driven by fake emotions.

Some nights, when I walk through the dark, I see them huddled around their campfires, telling stories and jokes, laughing. Yet, all they do is alert every single predator out there. The light. The noise. It attracts the undead, the shapechangers, the animals...

They cower when, finally, something finds them. Then they take up arms. Weave spells. Try to protect those that they have endangered in the first place.

This has to be another part of the game they play their whole life long. The 'I do this, and then you do that'-game.

I watch them fight, and all the while I feel that craving to just walk up and plunge my bl----

[The writing comes to a sudden stop, as if something had interrupted the author. It continues with a new line.]

Oh Sobek, Smiling Death, Lord of Crocodiles, this blessing of yours is equally a curse at times.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2022, 09:46:00 AM »
Quote
A vile prayer in the dead of night. An offering made.





King of Malice. Defiler of the Dead. Brother of Serpents. God of Darkness.

I am pledged to your son, his Chosen, his Champion among the mortals.

Yet, I know what you do for my people. I know of your fight against the sun, against Ra.

I offer you this eye of Ra's servant as a token of respect, of gratitude. You shall receive my prayers as the Smiling Death does, and I ask one thing, and one thing only...

Grant me that power which I seek. The power of the shadows, the darkness that you command, and I will forever be in your debt.

I will pledge to spread your word where I can, to share the truth of Ra's tyranny.

Deshr Neb-i, Set.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #15 on: June 08, 2022, 10:27:02 AM »
Quote
Dark eyes watching... Always watching...





They think they can hide. They think they can lie. And, of course...

They think they are right about it all.

I shouldn't be so annoyed by it as I am. After all, I do the very same thing, no? I play the tunes as they are needed. I smile when people wish to see a smile. I frown when they expect me to. Compassion. Love. Hate. Even fear.

Different faces to wear, when people signal that they expect to see them.

Sometimes, however, I wonder. How long do we do this? When do we stop? When can we just be?

Who started this game, and who made the rules?

Who decides when it is over?

Mother, why haven't you taught me about this?




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #16 on: June 14, 2022, 04:30:33 PM »
Quote
An unnerving symbol.





I have achieved something that I would have never thought possible. Something that the gods have not determined I should ever have.

Is it my newfound devotion that gave me this gift? Set's influence already at work? Sobek's favour for his chosen?

Who knows.

I will not question this. I have worked so hard. I played the game for so long. I will keep this firmly in my hands, never letting go.

Of course, the servants of lesser deities try to destroy everything I do. Every. Single. Day.

They pry and test and prod and make their plans and schemes.

I will not let you take this from me, worthless ones.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

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  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2022, 02:15:49 PM »
Quote
Candlelight illuminating that old, worn notebook...





I had an odd dream tonight - not unusual, but this time, it stayed in my head even long after waking.

I was back home, in the dunes, the camp set up - bunch of worn down tents, some camels, fires and weapons all over the place. Father dead or missing, I don't know. He simply wasn't there. The men were still the same. As was mother.

"Hashan, you've changed", she said. She looked at me with those sad eyes of hers. Her hands touched my face, and it felt so real.

"I'm sorry, mom." Just three words uttered out. So simple, but they held so much meaning. How many years had she endured this life? And I've never, never once, caught on.

Not until that fateful day.

"You don't have to be", she said, and then pulled back. Somehow, she looked worse than I remember. Even sadder. But she should don the happy face, with me coming back, father gone, no?

The sun was glaring down at us. Angry gaze of Ra, always waiting for me to slip up, to make a mistake that warrants a curse.

"I can't take you back. You can't come back." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. I was confused. She gave me such a defeated look. It's not leaving my head.

"Why not?"

"Because you are a monster, Hashan. Just look at you."

I remember staring at her. Searching through my memories, trying to find the proper reaction for something like this. What is it? What do people say when someone says this to their face? I found nothing, and thus, I used the only thing that came to mind.

"Oh?"

And I woke.




« Last Edit: June 15, 2022, 02:20:28 PM by Willy »
"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

  • Undead Master
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  • Posts: 410
  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #18 on: June 25, 2022, 12:29:08 AM »
Quote
The writing appears jovial.





Why isn't this an interesting development! They have lost, and we have won.

The last man standing is not dead. He lives. He lives, and he laughs about those last pathetic attempts.

All that you lot have ever done was in vain. Nobody loved any of you. Nobody will weep a single tear for you.

I'd wager those people that have left will even come back now, make this place feel alive again.

If I ever needed any confirmation that my path was the right one, this is it. Now, all that remains is gaining what I seek, and...

Immortality.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

  • Undead Master
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  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #19 on: July 02, 2022, 09:59:48 AM »
Quote
An idea brought to paper...?





I had another dream, but this one was oddly pleasant. Not because of what was going on, no. It was just another series of random pictures and events, unfolding as my dream-self mindlessly wandered about and interacted with things that would, under normal circumstances, drive me insane.

It was pleasant due to the inspiration it gave me after waking up. The direction it gave me.

Finally, finally I had a clue. A single idea that manifested in my head. This long-lasting question of how to blind the eye of a god, at last, answered.

I cursed when I realized that, also, this answer had been right within my grasp the entire time. The Smiling Death was demonstrating it to me on a daily basis, and probably burying his face in his claws at how long it took me to understand.

You don't gouge out a gods eye, not when you are mortal. Ripping each others eyes out is what gods do among themselves. I cannot ever hope to achieve a feat like that.

But I can block it out.

In my dream, the moon moved over the brightly lit sky of day, slowly creeping up on Ra's eye like a lizard lazily making its way to a crippled mouse. Eventually, it started covering up the sun, with only a faint ring of light surrounding it still...

It is so simple, but of course, it opens a whole new book full of questions. The most pressing ones?

How do I make the moon move like that?

And stay in place, forever?




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

  • Undead Master
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  • Posts: 410
  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #20 on: July 05, 2022, 03:05:05 AM »
Quote
The card of Death.





Did these people think that was a smart move? Using foreign law enforcement, paying coin to have me arrested over false charges?

How very unfortunate for them that I know who was behind this. Every single one of you.

A great many hearts seek to be cut, and offered. Enough sacrifices to not only appease the Smiling Death, but also the Father of Jackals.

They are only making their lifes worse with every step they take.

The Sun and the Moon will die, and all these hopeless struggles will come to an end.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

  • Undead Master
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  • Posts: 410
  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #21 on: July 08, 2022, 01:27:18 PM »
Quote
A ticking clock...





I see now the mistake I made. One missstep that cost me everything.

I never factored in that these people and I are, after all, not so different.

Yes, they don their pretty masks of 'good' and 'righteousness', but deep down, we are all the same.

We are all empty inside. We all decide our actions not based on 'emotions', but on cold calculations.

I never imagined that they would shift their approach, still. A sudden jerking motion, and now I am being hunted.

How quickly, I wonder, will they pose as the nice, tidy people again? Acting like there is not a stain of dirt or blood on their hands.

How quickly will the garda forget the bribes they received?

It doesn't matter anymore. I will cut ties when I have to. I owe this to the Family, at least - take on all the blame and leave.

I have to continue the Dance of Death.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

  • Undead Master
  • ****
  • Posts: 410
  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #22 on: July 11, 2022, 06:55:21 AM »
Quote
Silence.





Maybe this attempt of mine to lead a normal life was foolish from the very start.

People like me do not belong in societies. We can pretend that we do, but those city-dwellers will always catch on.

Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But eventually.

Still, it was a good time. Eat proper food. Sleep in an actual bed. Be rich. I still do not miss the sandy rags we had back home, or the scraps we survived off.

Should I have listened to you, father? Understand your point of view? Were you right about everything?

Just take what you want, son. No one's gonna give a shit about you, anyways. Don't play by other people's rules.

I can practically hear your voice in my head.

Maybe I shouldn't have tried to kill you back then.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.

Willy

  • Undead Master
  • ****
  • Posts: 410
  • Still the Sobek guy. Try again, loosers.
Re: Eat or be eaten - A Script of Fanatism
« Reply #23 on: July 19, 2022, 09:29:53 AM »
Quote
The Smiling Death





Another dream. This one was much shorter, more straightforward. It was the kind of dream that gives you an outlook for what is to come, and at the same time...

A promise.

It was a slow start. Just me doing the usual things - bit of robbing, bit of butchering, bit of offering - and after that last bit was done, I heard and felt that resonating roar deep inside of me.

Sobek.

Satisfied, perhaps? I did not feel threatened. My bones shook and vibrated under that crocodilian bellowing that emanated all around me, but there I was, content as ever.

Happy, actually.

I turned to look into a mirror that had no reason to be here, but this was a dream, and therefore logic was not important.

And I saw myself, becoming one of His.




"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman

I won't stay silent.