« Reply #17 on: June 15, 2022, 02:15:49 PM »
Candlelight illuminating that old, worn notebook...
I had an odd dream tonight - not unusual, but this time, it stayed in my head even long after waking.
I was back home, in the dunes, the camp set up - bunch of worn down tents, some camels, fires and weapons all over the place. Father dead or missing, I don't know. He simply wasn't there. The men were still the same. As was mother.
"Hashan, you've changed", she said. She looked at me with those sad eyes of hers. Her hands touched my face, and it felt so real.
"I'm sorry, mom." Just three words uttered out. So simple, but they held so much meaning. How many years had she endured this life? And I've never, never once, caught on.
Not until that fateful day.
"You don't have to be", she said, and then pulled back. Somehow, she looked worse than I remember. Even sadder. But she should don the happy face, with me coming back, father gone, no?
The sun was glaring down at us. Angry gaze of Ra, always waiting for me to slip up, to make a mistake that warrants a curse.
"I can't take you back. You can't come back." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. I was confused. She gave me such a defeated look. It's not leaving my head.
"Why not?"
"Because you are a monster, Hashan. Just look at you."
I remember staring at her. Searching through my memories, trying to find the proper reaction for something like this. What is it? What do people say when someone says this to their face? I found nothing, and thus, I used the only thing that came to mind.
"Oh?"
And I woke.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2022, 02:20:28 PM by Willy »
Logged
"If secrecy fails, the perpetrator attacks the credibility of his victim. If he cannot silence her absolutely, he tries to make sure no one listens.”
- Judith Lewis Herman
I won't stay silent.