The Misadventures of Julio!

[Imperial]

Hello, mortals! If you stumbled across this… well, first of all, congratulations on being able to read a real language. You may not be entirely hopeless. Second, it seems you have killed me (or more accurately, mildly inconvenienced me) or stolen from me… so, congratulations, again! Just be sure to watch your back.

The name’s Juli’yonxis, often truncated to Julio by you mortals, and I live to serve. For almost a hundred years, I have acted as an assistant, a confidant, and a friend to mortals with ambition, drive, and a desire to succeed in spite of life’s many hurdles and obstacles. That’s really what my kind are all about, offering a helping hand to those who need it the most and wanting to better themselves.

The mortals always ask me if I miss Baator, to which I respond, “By the Nine, no!” (Get it?) In all seriousness, however, it’s hard being an imp down in the hot place. The bigger boys love to knock you about and beat you around, and the lovely erinyes are quick to make fun of you for your… size. It’s not great, which is why whenever I’m given an opportunity to canoodle with the mortals, I take full advantage of it.

Honestly, being “trapped” here is great. Why would anyone ever want to leave? What few other fiends I’ve encountered by chance seem to hate it, but me? I love it here. I basically get to be my own boss; no more reports being made to superiors loving to needle me on this or that, no more beatings, none of that. I get to be me, and do what I love, which is help mortals and also help them to get around to our way of thinking about the world.

Sadly, in my short time here, the mortals I follow about don’t tend to last too long. I thought that wizard in Nova Vaasa was going somewhere, but his squeeze found out what he got up to after dark and he was given a haircut by these Lawgiver sorts, one that ended up including removing his head from his shoulders (as an aside, I like the cut of their jib). That little Borcan halfling showed potential, too, but she barked up the wrong tree, pissed off the wrong aristocrat and get herself killed too.

I’m thinking my luck is about to turn around, though. I’ve been eyeballing this one girl and I think she’s going places. Sooner or later, she’s going to want a helper and there I’ll be, more than willing to lend my aid.

I can’t wait.

[Imperial]

It is a shame how the others turned out. Her father didn't meet expectations, and neither did his father, and his father before him. There was ambition there, and yet not enough. They were not looking to achieve true greatness. They thought too small, and they were blind to the dagger's point aimed squarely at their flank.

My dagger, of course. No, no, not a real dagger. It's a proverbial dagger, a bloody metaphor.

Why betray them? It's obvious as to why, isn't it? If not, it should be. They need to be prepared. They need to be ready for how things really are. You're either cunning enough to deflect the dagger aimed for your flank, strong enough to survive it, or an obstacle for the greats to one day overcome.

There is the glimmer of something more in the girl. I think, deep down, she understands this. I think, deep down, she knows.

She will not disappoint me, as her predecessors have. She will not let me down.

[Imperial]

I knew she wouldn’t let me down.

In truth, I would say she’s surpassed all my expectations for her. Not only has she consigned her own soul away, she is also hard at work in corrupting others and convincing them to do the same. Her rise in prominence has granted her considerable sway. It has granted ME considerable sway.

For time immemorial, I was overlooked due to my size. I was mocked. I was bullied. Denied time and again for a promotion, while those less deserving rose in rank and prestige. How it rankled me, how it infuriated me.

It doesn’t anymore. Let them continue to overlook me, let them continue to consider me weak. “Oh, it’s just Julio, he’s harmless! Just a fun loving imp.” Fun-loving, indeed… I’m going to have a lot of fun. I cannot say that the mortals will find it quite as merry a time.

[Imperial]

"Wait, wait, wait.. this wasn't part of the deal!"


A pair of lidless eyes devoid of pity stared on mortal and imp.


"He is bound to me."



"... and you, to me."


What was this that the imp was feeling? Fear. It should be an alien concept to a creature like him, and yet.. that is what he felt. The fear of nothing. The fear of oblivion.


"Don't think I cannot make you pay for this! You're making a mistake!"


His composure had gone away, evaporated. A pair of eyes, shining bright like emeralds, regarded the imp. They were as pitiless as the one watching them both.


"I can deal with my patron on my own terms now. I do not require an intermediary."


Now, this feeling stirring with him felt familiar - hate. This he knew all too well.


"YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!"


Then, he suddenly felt nothing at all...