L'OIE DU MONSIEUR
The Gentleman's Goose
A short issue for mon petit goslings, but an issue yet! Raise thy beaks with mine and decry a resounding: honk! For we would like to celebrate that it has been close to a month since our first publication. Our reporters on the streets tell us that many of you continue to support our efforts. Slice your baguettes, Lucine, and we shall spread the goosiest flavor of foie gras. Now, dear readers, head below and let's take a gander at this week's issue.
—M. Cacarde
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So a Knight Walks into a Richemuloise Brothel—
Featured article by M. Cacarde
My dear readers, it appears that Sieur Jaques Boucher has been mixing familial affairs with his bedroom. Matters of the heart are so often scandalous, so we here at L'Oie du Monsieur would like to extend a sincere, heartfelt understanding. A strong family tree is nothing without a well-established tree truck, even more a family home is nothing without a few branches twisted into a wreath. In that same vein as that we are not without our condolences.
We hear that his poor heart has made a full recovery, however, after finding love with a certain new Drowager Baronesse d'Eaufroide. I truly think it is brave that the Baronesse would risk her lands and titles for romance. It also takes a certain kind of man to raise a cannibal murderer's child, and for that we commend you, Sieur. We can only hope that you understand that dealing with rats can also yield quite a few diseases, just ask Mlle. Robine Camus. We hope that whatever additional love affairs that the Drowager Baronesse is having with the Red Vardo Traders doesn't cause a breakout of venereal disease. Speaking of Mlle. Robine Camus—we promise we will not share the other test results that came back stating there is a high chance the child is a caliban.
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Another Victim for Monsieur Istrate's Lonely Lampost!
By Monsieur Lupe Devau
Here at the goose, we have a few words to say about Violeta Dragunescu, who you may have once known as Violeta Istrate and no doubt very soon, Violeta d'Orsine, once news of the pregnancy is out. (Unless the "Little Turnip" is just a pet name for Violeta herself.) However, one should not bury the lede and there are things far more shocking to reveal then a week-long marriage ending in a literally public divorce with all the drama that Dragunescu fails to deliver to the stage. We extend our heartfelt condolences to the wordless Monsieur Istrate, and hope his erstwhile lover the corner lamppost have a wonderful life.
No doubt it has been clear to those in the city that Dragunescu successfully took over as the sole head of the Theatre, ousting persistent colleague and co-head Arsene d'l'Hopital. A scandalous departure and ascension for both, with their tenures within the Theatre currently in a cloud of embezzlement scandal. The funds paid by the Jalabert's patronage, amongst others not finding their way into the wages of those working for the Theatre, or the décor, or even the catering services. Rather siphoning the wages promised to their employees into their own pockets.
We at the Goose can only hope that the extra money stolen from our cultural programs will inspire Dragunescu to write something worth watching.
Until next time!
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Help the Baron d'Doucheburg Find His Spine!
Solve the maze!
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Personals and Job Listings
Offering Employment: Requirements include: Seeking murderous assistants and creepy elves. Bonus if you can find books on boogiemen and write their dissertation for them. Must have an aptitude for overpriced whiskey and bending over for the Bellegarde Consortium. Send word to Monsieur Cornelius Valcourt at the Manor Retreat.
Seeking Employment: Skills include: Sleeping with relatives, collecting lice in his hat, and washing out of the Gendarme. Plays well with rats. Direct word to Sieur Jacques Boucher at the d'Eaufroide estate.
Special Thanks To...
Maitresse Blaise Aguillard - You give us hope that the writers of L'Oie du Monsieur can one day receive titles as well.
Our Many Contributors - Unfortunately Maitre Maurice Talleyrand would not let our goosey representative inside, but we had so many of you write in with very colorful reports of the Meeting of the Council of Brilliance. We honk for all of you, and those who sent us articles directly. Stay classy, Port-a-Lucine.
Do you want to be a part of L'Oie du Monsieur's esteemed and talented writers? Do you want to have advertisements featured in our next prestigious edition? Do not worry, mon petit goslings, we keep our contributor's privacy completely anonymous, unlike saucey details of Sieur Jacques Boucher's lovemaking. He keeps the hat on, ladies.
Just write to M. Cacarde at the Mutinied Sailor today.
OOC: Placed in game