Sudhira: Notebook of a Young Monk

[Arn]

Death

It's been a while since I've seen Ni Lo, and I'm worried that he got killed. He told me he was going to refrain from killing, like my monastery teaches. And yes, he said he would rather die than fail in this path, but that doesn't make me feel much better. If he got killed trying to follow my order's rules, I don't know what I'd think.

So at times like these, I turn to the writings I found. At first I thought they were writings from my monastery's sect of the Old Order. The teachings in there are really similar to what the monks taught at my monastery, and I figured the references to "the Blessed One" just meant the Old Order's ancient long-lost god. But the more I read, the more I wonder. There are words in here that I'm still trying to figure out. For example, from this "Simile of the Mountains":

"...That is what the Blessed One said. Having said that, the One Well-Gone, the Teacher, further said this:


'Like massive boulders,
mountains pressing against the sky,
moving in from all sides,
crushing the four directions,
   so aging and death
come rolling over living beings:
noble warriors, brahmans, merchants,
workers, outcastes, & scavengers.
They spare nothing.
They trample everything.

'Here elephant troops can hold no ground,
nor can chariots or infantry,
nor can a battle of wits
or wealth win out.

'So a wise person,
seeing his own good,
steadfast, secures confidence
in the Buddha, Dhamma, & Sangha.

'One who practices the Dhamma
in thought, word, & deed,
receives praise here on earth
and after death rejoices in heaven.'"

I don't know what all those words are, but the meaning is clear enough. So I guess Ni Lo spoke rightly. And I even said to him, if our priority is enlightenment, a lot of other stuff doesn't really matter.

Sometimes I just need a reminder, I guess. Especially here.

[Arn]

Meditation

I've heard different approaches to meditation. I have heard a couple of monks literally say, "Sit, do nothing." They don't seem to like the idea of using force to watch the breath or other meditation object. They regard meditation as a relatively passive thing, in which you don't try to "achieve" anything.

On the other hand, I've heard another monk straight up say, "Use force" to stay on the breath.

So I've been reading through these writings to see what they have to say about the topic. And there seems to be support for both approaches in what "the Blessed One" said regarding meditation.

Regarding a more passive unforced approach to meditation, he said in Aṅguttara Nikāya 11:2:

(1)-(2) “Monks, for a virtuous person, one whose behavior is virtuous, no volition need be exerted: ‘Let non-regret arise in me.’ It is natural that non-regret arises in one who is virtuous, one whose behavior is virtuous.
(3) “For one without regret no volition need be exerted: ‘Let joy arise in me.’ It is natural that joy arises in one without regret.
(4) “For one who is joyful no volition need be exerted: ‘Let rapture arise in me.’ It is natural that rapture arises in one who is joyful.
(5) “For one with a rapturous mind no volition need be exerted: ‘Let my body become tranquil.’ It is natural that the body of one with a rapturous mind is tranquil.
(6) “For one tranquil in body no volition need be exerted: ‘Let me feel pleasure.’ It is natural that one tranquil in body feels pleasure.
(7) “For one feeling pleasure no volition need be exerted: ‘Let my mind be concentrated.’ It is natural that the mind of one feeling pleasure is concentrated.
(8 ) “For one who is concentrated no volition need be exerted: ‘Let me know and see things as they really are.’ It is natural that one who is concentrated knows and sees things as they really are.
(9) “For one who knows and sees things as they really are no volition need be exerted: ‘Let me be disenchanted.’ It is natural that one who knows and sees things as they really are is disenchanted.
(10) “For one who is disenchanted no volition need be exerted: ‘Let me become dispassionate.’ It is natural that one who is disenchanted becomes dispassionate.
(11) “For one who is dispassionate no volition need be exerted: ‘Let me realize the knowledge and vision of liberation.’ It is natural that one who is dispassionate realizes the knowledge and vision of liberation.
“Thus, monks, the knowledge and vision of liberation is the purpose and benefit of dispassion; (9) dispassion is the purpose and benefit of disenchantment; (8 ) disenchantment is the purpose and benefit of the knowledge and vision of things as they really are; (7) the knowledge and vision of things as they really are is the purpose and benefit of concentration; (6) concentration is the purpose and benefit of pleasure; (5) pleasure is the purpose and benefit of tranquility; (4) tranquility is the purpose and benefit of rapture; (3) rapture is the purpose and benefit of joy; (2) joy is the purpose and benefit of non-regret; and (1) non-regret is the purpose and benefit of virtuous behavior.
“Thus, monks, one stage flows into the next stage, one stage fills up the next stage, for going from the near shore to the far shore.”

On the other hand, in Aṅguttara Nikāya 4:93, "the Blessed One" clearly discussed putting forth a lot of effort:

“The person who gains neither internal serenity of mind nor the higher wisdom of insight into phenomena should put forth extraordinary desire, effort, zeal, enthusiasm, indefatigability, mindfulness, and clear comprehension to obtain both those wholesome qualities. Just as one whose clothes or head had caught fire would put forth extraordinary desire, effort, zeal, enthusiasm, indefatigability, mindfulness, and clear comprehension to extinguish the fire on his clothes or head, so that person should put forth extraordinary desire, effort, zeal, enthusiasm, indefatigability, mindfulness, and clear comprehension to obtain both those wholesome qualities. Then, some time later, he gains both internal serenity of mind and the higher wisdom of insight into phenomena.”

In Saṃyutta Nikāya 47:10, these writings even describe two different approaches to meditation in the same talk: “development by direction” and “development without direction.” The first is an active and affirmative approach to dealing with hindrances while meditating on "the four establishments of mindfulness." The second describes passive awareness/mindfulness toward the four establishments of mindfulness.

I'm still trying to figure it out. Sometimes one approach works while the other doesn't, and then other times it's the other way around. And I guess that's the way the mind goes. In Aṅguttara Nikāya 6:55, "the Blessed One" had the following discussion with a monk named Soṇa:

“Tell me, Soṇa, in the past, when you lived at home, weren’t you skilled at the lute?”
“Yes, Bhante.”
“What do you think, Soṇa? When its strings were too tight, was your lute well tuned and easy to play?”
“No, Bhante.”
“When its strings were too loose, was your lute well tuned and easy to play?”
“No, Bhante.”
“But, Soṇa, when its strings were neither too tight nor too loose but adjusted to a balanced pitch, was your lute well tuned and easy to play?”
“Yes, Bhante.”
“So too, Soṇa, if energy is aroused too forcefully this leads to restlessness, and if energy is too lax this leads to laziness. Therefore, Soṇa, resolve on a balance of energy, achieve evenness of the spiritual faculties, and take up the object there.”

[Arn]

Abandoning

I remember a talk I had with Miss Q a little while ago at the Mist Camp. I told her about how I use money, even though I'm not really supposed to under my monastery's rules. But the rule against using money isn't even the biggest rule. It's not a rule that'll get you expelled from my monastery, whereas the rule against killing definitely is. So I've been telling myself it's not that bad to use money. In a place as rough as Barovia, I need to get by, right? I still take the major rules seriously, isn't that good enough?

Well, it turns out the writings have something to say about letting go of even small things. "The Blessed One" had a talk about this with a monk named Udayin. The writer called this talk the Simile of the Quail. And if I have the numbering system right, the Simile of the Quail is Majjhima Nikāya 66:

"Suppose a quail were snared by a rotting creeper, by which it could expect injury, capture, or death, and someone were to say, 'This rotting creeper by which this quail is snared, and by which she could expect injury, capture, or death, is for her a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare.' Would the person speaking that way be speaking rightly?"

"No, lord. That rotting creeper... is for her a strong snare, a thick snare, a heavy snare, an unrotting snare, and a thick yoke."

"In the same way, Udayin, there are some worthless men who, when I tell them, 'Abandon this,' say: 'Why this petty, elementary thing? He's too much of a stickler, this contemplative.' They don't abandon it. They're rude to me and to the monks keen on training. For them that's a strong snare, a thick snare, a heavy snare, an unrotting snare, and a thick yoke.

"Now there are some clansmen who, when I tell them, 'Abandon this,' say: 'Why does the Blessed One have us abandon this? Why does the One Well-gone have us relinquish this petty, elementary thing?' But they abandon it and are not rude to me or to the monks keen on training. Having abandoned it, they live unconcerned, unruffled, their wants satisfied, with their mind like a wild deer. For them that's a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare.

"Suppose a royal elephant — immense, pedigreed, accustomed to battles, its tusks like chariot poles — were snared with thick leather snares, but by twisting its body a bit it could break & burst those snares and go off wherever it liked. And suppose someone were to say, 'Those thick leather snares by which the royal elephant... was snared, but which — by twisting its body a bit — it could break & burst and go off wherever it liked: for him they were a strong snare, a thick snare, a heavy snare, an unrotting snare, and a thick yoke.' Would the person speaking that way be speaking rightly?"

"No, lord. Those thick leather snares... were for him a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare."

"In the same way, Udayin, there are some clansmen who, when I tell them, 'Abandon this,' say: 'Why does the Blessed One have us abandon this? Why does the One Well-gone have us relinquish this petty, elementary thing?' But they abandon it and are not rude to me or to the monks keen on training. Having abandoned it, they live unconcerned, unruffled, their wants satisfied, with their mind like a wild deer. For them that's a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare.

"Suppose there were a poor person, penniless & indigent, with a single little shack — dilapidated, open to the crows, not the best sort; and a single bed — dilapidated, not the best sort; and a single pot of rice & gourd seeds — not the best sort; and a single wife — not the best sort. He would go to a park and see a monk — his hands & feet washed after a delightful meal, sitting in the cool shade, committed to the heightened mind. The thought would occur to him: 'How happy the contemplative state! How free of disease the contemplative state! O that I — shaving off my hair & beard and donning the ochre robe — might go forth from the household life into homelessness!' But being unable to abandon his single little shack — dilapidated, open to the crows, not the best sort; his single bed — dilapidated, not the best sort; his single pot of rice & gourd seeds — not the best sort; and his single wife — not the best sort — he wouldn't be able to shave off his hair & beard, to don the ochre robe, or to go forth from the household life into homelessness. And suppose someone were to say, 'That single little shack... that single bed... that single pot... and that single wife — not the best sort — by which that man was snared, which he was unable to abandon, and because of which he couldn't shave off his hair & beard, don the ochre robe, and go forth from the household life into homelessness: for him they were a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare.' Would the person speaking that way be speaking rightly?"

"No, lord. That single hut... that single bed... that single pot... that single wife... were for that man a strong snare, a thick snare, a heavy snare, an unrotting snare, and a thick yoke."

"In the same way, Udayin, there are some worthless men who, when I tell them, 'Abandon this,' say: 'Why this petty, elementary thing? He's too much of a stickler, this contemplative.' They don't abandon it. They're rude to me and to the monks keen on training. For them that's a strong snare, a thick snare, a heavy snare, an unrotting snare, and a thick yoke.

"Now suppose, Udayin, that there were a householder or householder's son — rich, prosperous, & wealthy — with vast amounts of gold ingots, vast amounts of grain, a vast number of fields, a vast amount of land, a vast number of wives, and a vast number of male & female slaves. He would go to a park and see a monk — his hands & feet washed after a delightful meal, sitting in the cool shade, committed to the heightened mind. The thought would occur to him: 'How happy the contemplative state! How free of disease the contemplative state! O that I — shaving off my hair & beard and donning the ochre robe — might go forth from the household life into homelessness!' And being able to abandon his vast amounts of gold ingots, his vast amounts of grain, his vast number of fields, his vast amount of land, his vast number of wives, and his vast number of male & female slaves, he would be able to shave off his hair & beard, to don the ochre robe, and to go forth from the household life into homelessness. Now suppose someone were to say, 'Those vast amounts of gold ingots... and a vast number of male & female slaves by which that householder or householder's son was snared but which he was able to abandon so that he could shave off his hair & beard, don the ochre robe, and go forth from the household life into homelessness: for him they were a strong snare, a thick snare, a heavy snare, an unrotting snare, and a thick yoke.' Would the person speaking that way be speaking rightly?"

"No, lord. Those vast amounts of gold ingots... were for him a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare."

"In the same way, Udayin, there are some clansmen who, when I tell them, 'Abandon this,' say: 'Why does the Blessed One have us abandon this? Why does the One Well-gone have us relinquish this petty, elementary thing?' But they abandon it and are not rude to me or to the monks keen on training. Having abandoned it, they live unconcerned, unruffled, their wants satisfied, with their mind like a wild deer. For them that's a weak snare, a feeble snare, a rotting snare, an insubstantial snare.

"Udayin, there are these four types of people to be found existing in the world. Which four? There is the case where a certain person is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions. As he is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions, memories & resolves associated with acquisitions assail him. He acquiesces to them. He does not abandon them, dispel them, demolish them, or wipe them out of existence. I tell you, Udayin, that this sort of person is fettered, not unfettered. Why is that? Because I have known the diversity of faculties with regard to this type of person.

"Then there is the case where a certain person is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions. As he is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions, memories & resolves associated with acquisitions assail him. He does not acquiesce to them. He abandons them, dispels them, demolishes them, & wipes them out of existence. I tell you, Udayin, that this sort of person is fettered, not unfettered. Why is that? Because I have known the diversity of faculties with regard to this type of person.

"Then there is the case where a certain person is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions. As he is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions, then — from time to time, owing to lapses in mindfulness — he is assailed by memories & resolves associated with acquisitions. Slow is the arising of his mindfulness, but then he quickly abandons those memories & resolves, dispels them, demolishes them, & wipes them out of existence. Just as when two or three drops of water fall onto an iron pan heated all day: Slow is the falling of the drops of water, but they quickly vanish & disappear. In the same way, there is the case where a certain person is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions. As he is practicing for the abandoning & relinquishing of acquisitions, then — from time to time, owing to lapses in mindfulness — he is assailed by memories & resolves associated with acquisitions. Slow is the arising of his mindfulness, but then he quickly abandons those memories & resolves, dispels them, demolishes them, & wipes them out of existence. I tell you, Udayin, that this sort of person is fettered, not unfettered. Why is that? Because I have known the diversity of faculties with regard to this type of person.

"Then there is the case where a certain person, realizing that acquisitions are the root of suffering & stress, is without acquisitions, released in the ending of acquisitions. I tell you, Udayin, that this sort of person is unfettered, not fettered. Why is that? Because I have known the diversity of faculties with regard to this type of person.

"There are these four types of people to be found existing in the world.

"And, Udayin, there are these five strings of sensuality. Which five? Forms cognizable via the eye — agreeable, pleasing, charming, endearing, fostering desire, enticing. Sounds cognizable via the ear... Aromas cognizable via the nose... Flavors cognizable via the tongue... Tactile sensations cognizable via the body — agreeable, pleasing, charming, endearing, fostering desire, enticing. These are the five strings of sensuality. Now, any pleasure & happiness that arises dependent on these five strings of sensuality is called sensual pleasure, a filthy pleasure, a run-of-the-mill pleasure, an ignoble pleasure. And of this pleasure I say that it is not to be cultivated, not to be developed, not to be pursued, that it is to be feared.

"Now, there is the case where a monk — quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful mental qualities — enters & remains in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. With the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, he enters & remains in the second jhana: rapture & pleasure born of concentration, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation — internal assurance. With the fading of rapture, he remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhana, of which the Noble Ones declare, 'Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.' With the abandoning of pleasure & pain — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — he enters & remains in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. This is called renunciation-pleasure, seclusion-pleasure, calm-pleasure, self-awakening-pleasure. And of this pleasure I say that it is to be cultivated, to be developed, to be pursued, that it is not to be feared.

"Now, there is the case where a monk — quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful mental qualities — enters & remains in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. That, I tell you, comes under the perturbable. And what comes under the perturbable there? The directed thoughts & evaluations that haven't ceased there: that's what comes under the perturbable there.

"There is the case where a monk, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, enters & remains in the second jhana: rapture & pleasure born of concentration, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation — internal assurance. That, I tell you, comes under the perturbable. And what comes under the perturbable there? The rapture-pleasure that hasn't ceased there: that's what comes under the perturbable there.

"There is the case where a monk, with the fading of rapture, he remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhana, of which the Noble Ones declare, 'Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.' That, I tell you, comes under the perturbable. And what comes under the perturbable there? The equanimity-pleasure that hasn't ceased there: that's what comes under the perturbable there.

"There is the case where a monk, with the abandoning of pleasure & pain — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — enters & remains in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. Now that, I tell you, comes under the imperturbable.

"Now there is the case where a monk — quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful mental qualities — enters & remains in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. That, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"There is the case where a monk, with the stilling of directed thoughts & evaluations, enters & remains in the second jhana: rapture & pleasure born of concentration, unification of awareness free from directed thought & evaluation — internal assurance. That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"There is the case where a monk, with the fading of rapture, he remains equanimous, mindful, & alert, and senses pleasure with the body. He enters & remains in the third jhana, of which the Noble Ones declare, 'Equanimous & mindful, he has a pleasant abiding.' That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"There is the case where a monk, with the abandoning of pleasure & pain — as with the earlier disappearance of elation & distress — enters & remains in the fourth jhana: purity of equanimity & mindfulness, neither pleasure nor pain. That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"Then there is the case where a monk, with the complete transcending of perceptions of physical form, with the disappearance of perceptions of resistance, and not heeding perceptions of diversity, perceiving, 'Infinite space,' enters & remains in the dimension of the infinitude of space. That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"Then there is the case where a monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of space, perceiving, 'Infinite consciousness,' enters & remains in the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness. That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"Then there is the case where a monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of the infinitude of consciousness, perceiving, 'There is nothing,' enters & remains in the dimension of nothingness. That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"Then there is the case where a monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of nothingness, enters & remains in the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception. That is its transcending. But that, too, I tell you, isn't enough. Abandon it, I tell you. Transcend it, I tell you. And what is its transcending?

"There is the case where a monk, with the complete transcending of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception, enters & remains in the cessation of perception & feeling. That is its transcending.

"Thus, Udayin, I speak even of the abandoning of the dimension of neither perception nor non-perception. Do you see any fetter, large or small, of whose abandoning I don't speak?"

"No, lord."

So yeah... I think I need to reevaluate this whole money thing.

[Arn]

Life is swept along,
next-to-nothing its span.
For one swept to old age
 no shelters exist.
Perceiving this danger in death,
one should drop the world's bait
 and look for peace.

-Saṃyutta Nikāya 2.19

[Arn]

“Again, bhikkhus, a noble disciple considers thus: ‘Sensual pleasures here and now and sensual pleasures in lives to come, sensual perceptions here and now and sensual perceptions in lives to come, material forms here and now and material forms in lives to come, perceptions of forms here and now and perceptions of forms in lives to come — both alike are impermanent. What is impermanent is not worth delighting in, not worth welcoming, not worth holding to.’ When he practises in this way and frequently abides thus, his mind acquires confidence in this base. Once there is full confidence, he either attains to the imperturbable now or else he resolves upon it with wisdom. On the dissolution of the body, after death, it is possible that the evolving consciousness may pass on to rebirth in the imperturbable. This, bhikkhus, is declared to be the third way directed to the imperturbable.”

-Majjhima Nikāya 106

[Arn]

THUS HAVE I HEARD. On one occasion the Blessed One was living at Rājagaha in the Bamboo Grove, the Squirrels’ Sanctuary. Then the lay follower Visākha went to the bhikkhunī Dhammadinnā, and after paying homage to her, he sat down at one side and asked her:

...“Lady, what is pleasant and what is painful in regard to pleasant feeling? What is painful and what is pleasant in regard to painful feeling? What is pleasant and what is painful in regard to neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling?”

“Friend Visākha, pleasant feeling is pleasant when it persists and painful when it changes. Painful feeling is painful when it persists and pleasant when it changes. Neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling is pleasant when there is knowledge of it and painful when there is no knowledge of it.”

...“Lady, does the underlying tendency to lust underlie all pleasant feeling? Does the underlying tendency to aversion underlie all painful feeling? Does the underlying tendency to ignorance underlie all neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling?”

“Friend Visākha, the underlying tendency to lust does not underlie all pleasant feeling. The underlying tendency to aversion does not underlie all painful feeling. The underlying tendency to ignorance does not underlie all neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling.”

...“Lady, does the underlying tendency to lust have to be abandoned in regard to all pleasant feeling? Does the underlying tendency to aversion have to be abandoned in regard to all painful feeling? Does the underlying tendency to ignorance have to be abandoned in regard to all neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling?”

“Friend Visākha, the underlying tendency to lust does not have to be abandoned in regard to all pleasant feeling. The underlying tendency to aversion does not have to be abandoned in regard to all painful feeling. The underlying tendency to ignorance does not have to be abandoned in regard to all neither-painful-nor-pleasant feeling.

“Here, friend Visākha, quite secluded from sensual pleasures, secluded from unwholesome states, a bhikkhu enters upon and abides in the first jhāna, which is accompanied by applied and sustained thought, with rapture and pleasure born of seclusion. With that he abandons lust, and the underlying tendency to lust does not underlie that.

“Here a bhikkhu considers thus: ‘When shall I enter upon and abide in that base that the noble ones now enter upon and abide in?’ In one who thus generates a longing for the supreme liberations, grief arises with that longing as condition. With that he abandons aversion, and the underlying tendency to aversion does not underlie that.

“Here, with the abandoning of pleasure and pain, and with the previous disappearance of joy and grief, a bhikkhu enters upon and abides in the fourth jhāna, which has neither-pain-nor-pleasure and purity of mindfulness due to equanimity. With that he abandons ignorance, and the underlying tendency to ignorance does not underlie that.”

-Majjhima Nikāya 44