A Monster Hunters Recollections: Áine

[ASymphony]

One of the topics I have spent quite some time contemplating is the matter of what makes a creature Legion. There is the traditional and obvious answer. A vampire, a werewolf. Claws, teeth, spilled blood. The sort of thing you only need a minor hint to know what you are facing. That is however, not the true answer. Not the entire, answer.

What makes legion, truly makes legion, is the capability and will to do harm to others, without being able to see why it may be wrong. Not the simple, animalistic desire of a predator to feed, but the truly evil will to cause harm.

And then, there is a third category, the one I am most unsure about. Legion, without intent or will towards evil. This, splits into two categories. One, is the sort one commits when believing that ones actions may serve a greater good. The kind where one no longer understands that the effort has made one little enough different from the creatures one intended to act against. The second, is ignorance.

This one is the most insidious one, for it is the one we can all too easily fall into, while also causing considerable harm. I do not mean the kind of ignorance one may be afflicted with if one did not realize it would rain and forgot to take a good cloak or umbrella with one. I mean the kind that we choose to embrace, because it is easier. To not see the suffering, or not understand, how ones own actions might factor into it. Ignoring what others do, because seeing and acting on the truth is difficult, or painful.

Increasingly, I am starting to think I may be guilty of the last one. Having come to this conclusion, the question on how to act from this point on arises. There are various possibilities. I will be the first to state that there has been some impact of what occurred on this day inside me. I have been recalling the scene in all its visceral, gory and brutal details repeatedly in reverie. This has had a certain impact on my mind. Certain defensive mechanisms have arisen inside it, which to some degree remind me of my first injury, back when that ghoul decided it would enjoy eating my face.

Back then, however, matters were easy. It was a ghoul, the ghoul was an evil creature, the ghoul eventually was destroyed by some wardens of her fourth, as I recall. Clean, simply, leaving a scar on my face and on my soul, both of which eventually hardened.

This time, the situation is messy, ugly. For I know someone close to me at least to some degree is responsible. There are a handful of suspects. Some with higher probability then others. Multiple of them possess a certain capability to deception. And of course, my personal affections towards some of them do influence my judgment, which is an issue I must address at some later point, once this situation is resolved. And it must be resolved.

I am Áine, daughter of Cyfnerth, scholar from Delagia, scion of Darkon. I will not be broken.

[ASymphony]

The situation has begun to worsen, my recent revelations have not been met well and I am unsurprised, it is not the sort of thing anyone likes to hear. However, at this juncture I wonder if this is not for the better. Attempting deception seems highly inappropriate to me and not helpful in resolving the situation where I am incorrect and I do not have the heart to try and lay snares or traps. I have been alone recently a fair bit and I had hoped I could use this time to get some clarity, however my continued analysis merely has made me more paranoid. I remember certain conversations, and things spoken about. What if certain decisions had been made? Was there double meaning in those words?

There are three primary suspects. I have been enormously hesitant for all three, but considering all parameters, they are the most likely candidates. There are others who could have done it, but my set of information is too incomplete to consider them much in detail.

There is a knot in my stomach as I consider my own words, but I feel I needed to speak them. I am aware that they hurt, but it was the only way I could think of to begin some process of resolution.

I am not certain how I shall proceed next. I will need to come up with something. At times, all of these things weigh heavy on me. They make me consider that it may be better not to know. That I may not want to know the answer to my questions. And that ultimately, there is but a single option on how I could prevent ever learning about it.