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La Ruine

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La Ruine
« on: May 23, 2021, 12:00:13 AM »
[Distributed throughout Port-a-Lucine.]

Quote
LA RUINE
Disgraces of Dementlieu

Those high lords and ladies in attendance at the latest meeting Council of Brilliance were treated to no end of tedious power-brokering as the true blood of the Republic tossed scraps to the highest bidders and most loyal lapdogs. Along the way, who could miss Maitre Talleyrand's regular jibes were, with one or two exceptions, far from cutting. This might be expected, given the distracting appearance of Mademoiselle de Soulette at his side. Their playful flirtations are already the talk of the town, as the Maitre not only boldly propositioned Mademoiselle de Soulette publicly, but she went on to give permission to use her given name, the sort of intimate act normally reserved for close acquaintances in private. Many titles were earned on the 22nd, but who could expect Mademoiselle de Soulette to be so brazen in her pursuit of the title of strumpet?

The Seaworthy Ball in Review

Charity is a virtue. We have to ask ourselves, however, if it's a noble virtue. Charity is to give something of yourself with no expectation of reward, and yet who could miss our solar-counting Sieurs and Maitresse tout their 'charity' as reason why they were entitled to land and station. Given the demands of their new positions, it's unlikely they'll find the time to look up the definition, but what they were citing was a 'transaction' or 'bribe'. As an aside, serving in battle as a mercenary or Gendarme is not bravery so much as a requirement of employment. How low our standards of service have sunk.

The Seaworthy Ball illustrates the aristocratic tradition of trotting out a pet project to justify the nobility's continued existence while women and children starve in darkness outside the glow of the city's legendary lights.

Claiming to be financed by a man intent on celebrating an expedition of which he so often boasts, this monument to egotism was an intellectual slog. Certainly the pageantry and beautiful cast were an excellent distraction from the real tragedy for those lost at sea: Sons of Dementlieu were placed into perilous circumstances, under the command of men selected not for skill but for blood. Paying the widows and orphans of employees killed in a misbegotten business venture isn't charity. It's an obligation.

The cast shows some promise, but clearly suffers under the tyrannical care of its new ladder-climbing management. Of course, how can we expect anything less from the once-great Jalaberts, who brought us the disease-ridden and the traitorous to helm their productions in the past? With embarrassments like these to entertain, why do they still bother with plays?

We give this production 2 of 5 stars.



Spoiler: show
//Placed in-game.
« Last Edit: May 23, 2021, 12:01:59 AM by La Ruine »

La Ruine

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Re: La Ruine
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2021, 11:03:10 PM »
[Distributed throughout Port-a-Lucine.]

Quote
LA RUINE


Disgraces of Dementlieu

While Fleury Vaillant deserves no end of mockery for dishonoring Lily-Rose Dupont, it would be easy to forget that such came in the aftermath of his step-mother’s tragic death. Therefore, La Ruine will herein neglect our preferred acerbic style to suggest Gregoire Vaillant (who has been if nothing else ever-true to principle rather than pretending to be anything other than a nobleman) deserves better from his family. If allegations of Fleury and Severine Vaillant’s bastardry are true, then the Baron of Duchbourg has been disappointed and dishonored by his brother, both his wives, and his children. For our part, we believe the dying declaration of a bereaved noblewoman, no matter her faults, should be given credence here.

The Glorious Lecuyers

From their seizure of Chateaufaux from the Duke of Ameranthe’s allies, to their sudden dominance of the political scene and rivalry of the beleaguered orphan-Duchess ofBeauvais, and now feats of technological wonder, House Lecuyer has done much to restore its tarnished image. The family has have even proved themselves fast friends of the lower classes with a timely endorsement of the Workers Congress* candidate.

Is there anything the Lecuyer family cannot accomplish? One wonders how the apple managed to fall so far from the mad tree, weighted as it is by its solid gold composition.

If this author has but one humble criticism, it is to suggest in the next medical emergency, a proper healer should be summoned. The Duke of Chantres is not in Lamordia and we people of Dementlieu do not shy from healing magic. Still, lucky indeed the Duke keeps his miracle box so near his personage at all times. The timing is fortunate enough that more skeptical minds might call it a suspicious display of showmanship in a tense campaign which has seen the Lecuyer’s endorse a common guttersnipe based upon her ability to shoot the enemies of their family. Naturally that this same woman scandalously eloped with a notable drunken rogue and associate of traitors (and now, a suspected bastard if recent rumors are to be believed!) should not distract from the heroism of House Lecuyer.

The true shame is that there is no title higher than Duke for the Lecuyers to be awarded for their philanthropy. Of course, given the large swaths of territory the family has taken for themselves and works to secure for their would be vassals, perhaps the title ‘King’ would only be a formality, anyway.

Polidori’s Predictions Panders Public Prattle

Ungentle title aside, La Ruine feels deep and abiding sympathy for Polidori’s dedication to calling what has been an absolute disgrace of a campaign. The last campaign season was easier to decipher, even with its assassinations, accusations of treachery, and coups. His no-doubt suffering hairline is in our thoughts and prayers. We put end to our commiserations, however, to gift our own selection of predictions. Predictions of predictions, if you will. We hope they prove useful.

“Why of course I have no doubts Lily-Rose Dupont’s considerable qualification and track-record for sound judgement will win out. I’ve already gone all in, haven’t I? There’s no possible way to back out now, is there? Is there!?”

-Countess Tethered to the Wrong Horse

“How could anyone conceive that a common-born woman without credentials and without the faintest idea of culture could serve in such an august post? That she has any support at all is indicative that the nobility have abandoned any semblance of traditional values. How can they overlook Dupont’s youth, dubious past, her elopement against the wishes of the Baron of Duchbourg, and her twin allegiance to the nigh-criminal Workers Congress and the largest Vaillant disgrace since the late Antoine? I feel as if the dregs of the madhouses have been set loose and given wigs and lace!”

-Monsieur Destined for the Mob’s Guillotine

“Lily-Rose Dupont is pretty and says nice things about the poor people we pretend to like in order to make ourselves more tolerable to our new peers. Why should we care about silly things like knowledge, tradition, experience, or the ability to exist for more than a week without erupting into new scandal?”

-Monsieur and Madame Fresh Letters-of-Patent

So ends this edition of our most infrequent offering. Until next time, sweet and gentle people of Dementlieu.

*Note: The Authors take umbrage at this name. Congress implies a great deal of yammering, which is the antithesis of work. That, or its bawdier connotation, which should be considered more play than anything else.



Spoiler: show
//Placed in-game.

La Ruine

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La Ruine: Issue III
« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2021, 10:35:23 PM »
[Distributed throughout Port-a-Lucine's affluent quarters.]

Quote
LA RUINE

Disgraces of Dementlieu

Monsieur and Madame No-One. Perhaps it's the quiet of the streets of late, or perhaps it’s merely a matter of indiscretions and assignations occurring behind closed doors where they belong, but this prize goes unrewarded for this issue. We are, however, always watching.

In Defense of Faith

If it has not yet been made plain, La Ruine’s staff wishes to make clear that we stand foremost for conventional values. While not pretending to particular devotion, we account ourselves traditionalists and so recognize that Dementlieu and indeed our closest allies all remain nations of Ezrites. So it was was with some regret that we laid eyes upon the poorly conceived scrawlings of one ‘The Voice of Reason’ within L'Observateur.

For all this anonymous author implies secular enlightenment, they seem bound and determined to pursue a witch hunt all their own. The writer both signals their self-absorption with their condemnation of what the ‘masses’ believe while attempting to paint those same masses with the brush of intolerance for finding small comfort in faith during times of hardship.

They go on to claim that religious values do not contribute to society and science, a laughable assertion that does not even hold to the author’s own scrutiny as they lambast the contributions of individual Anchorites and cite the work of the Halans as if it manifests from the very ether rather than from piety.

Their condemnation of Sainted Mother of Tears fails to account for less grand and yet far more accessible works such as Our Lady of Repentance and the Chapel at Serene Souls. Nor does it account for the good works of Toret Lambert, who even now tends the hurts wrought in the rapacious Falkovnian sack of Edrigan. It also signals an ignorance of the roots and influence of hymnals upon the musical arts.

The author neglects to remember that even broken, the Cathedral was inspiration enough to be the Jalabert theater’s namesake. They do not remark upon the bells, faithfully rung without fail by the Anchorites of Sainted Mother of Tears to not only mark the hour but also to warn of invasion during the Covenant siege, a thankless task that benefits both those of us who cannot afford the latest Lamordian timepiece and those of us who enjoy some forewarning before we’re spitted by Falkovnians and put under occupation by rogue Dukes and a cavalcade of treasonous Barons and Baronesses.

Let the stuffy scholars of Sainted Mother of Tears ring their bells and read their books in peace, and let die the tired refrain about closed doors during the siege of the city by the Solemn Covenant. Sheltering in a crumbling, broken cathedral (let alone the most visible target for bombardment in a city) is the daftest idea one could conceive, and any patriot can see Toret Pineau’s entreaty for the people to take up arms to resist the forces of the East mirrors the same call made by Helene DuSuis when she formed the People’s National Army of rabble to fight the Falkovnians.

In one of the author‘s more salient points, they suggest that other societies forgo divine guidance in favor of enlightened reason to their benefit. Three such secular societies come to mind when one considers the Core entire:

Foremost, the Falkovnians, whose ignobility is such that they need no introduction nor harsh words from this writer’s quill. Secondly, the Barovians, who (with some exception for scattered followers of the Morninglord and Ezra) are notoriously atheistic. This mind bereft of religious guidance does not produce tolerance or peace, but makes them suspicious and cruel to anything different within their midst. Thirdly, the Lamordians, a society so enlightened that they lag behind the Dementlieuse in every capacity from firearms production to education, and lose their best such as Councilor Drukker and Mademoiselle Stella Seifert to the far more prestigious and learned City of Lights.

Being eclipsed by glorious Dementlieu is hardly a crime, of course. Especially compared to the Lamordian refusal to sign the Four Towers Treaty. They favor instead the coward’s route of earning security by bribes in the form of materials to fuel Drakov’s war machine, making them complicit in countless murders (and worse atrocities here and abroad that cannot be printed in a polite society).

That, dear Voice of Reason, is what the religious call a ‘sin’.

Belated Congratulations

La Ruine would like to offer congratulations to the following:

Our newest Councilor, bereft of irony. The best candidate has won. The Baroness of Estellier upon her engagement. May the conspiracies and slanders whispered against her and her paramour by Darkonian charlatans and their retainers not overshadow the joyful news. Madame de la Rochenoire upon her pregnancy. May her child never know the likes of the torture she inflicted upon the prisoner in her care. The Chevalier of Mouisset and the Baron of Eufroide for their marriage into a Richemuloise family of good-breeding and squeaky-clean reputation. May their mutual tails of love have all the happiest of endings.

Missing

One sense of humor. If found, please return to your closest Darkonian Inquisitor. May be accompanied by an equally absent sense of fashion. Reward offered for return: None. Your continued, pitiful existence is reward enough, reprobates, heathens, and profligates.

One boot. Cobbled in the latest fashion, last seen being polished by an up jumped Borcan playwright’s tongue.

L’Eclipse in Review

This reviewer has had some time now to digest several meals catered by House Corbeau’s latest establishment. The fare does not disappoint in technical skill. Indeed, there are not-infrequent gems hidden among the provided dishes, though the chef has a tendency to overcomplicate flavors. This is not uncommon for young men seeking to make their mark, but it does at times lead to bouts of indigestion.

Where the Corbeau shine is in the realm of impeccable service. They put the appropriate emphasis on seeing their peers served foremost, while not neglecting their less fortunate customers. Sadly, they may lose some friends among the nobility by putting on airs to insult establishments such as the Golden Fig, which has outlasted upstarts through tradition and perfected craft. Recent elections prove this winning combination always wins out, in the end, and we encourage the relatively scandal-free Corbeaus to remain Dementlieuse in all things.

The entertainment contained some exotic talent that was surprisingly pleasant upon the ears. Such performance was reduced, however, by an off-putting brand of cheap comedy and garish stagecraft that would no doubt ruin the palette of our Culture Advisor. As would the sommelier’s selections. The Corbeau’s prefer an imported selection with nearly every pairing, eschewing the productions of domestic or at least Mordentish-speaking vineyards for adventitious liquids as Von Lengstein Dry and Invidian wines.

As our neighbors in Borca say: If you wish to know a man’s enemies, check the poison in his glass. If you wish to know a man’s friends, check the vintages in his cellar.

The result is a solidly pleasant menu that sometimes muddles itself in its need to innovate, hinting at fondness for foreign cuisine* and a disdain for what is classical. It nonetheless has a great deal of promise and we look forward to seeing what the Corbeau’s can do with true critique rather than the reviews and admiration of sycophants.

We give this establishment 3 of 5 stars.

Note: *This, of course, is not a dig at the family’s rumored other foreign appetites, namely in the form of pleasurable company.

Farewell, until the cracks in Leon's dream grow deeper, sweet people of Dementlieu.


Spoiler: show
//Placed in-game.