From and old tarnished journal:
"As the days slowly go by and the nights get colder, I'm still feeling the pull the sword has on me. Truth be told, it feels as though I am gaining a second personality because of this. One half desires the blade and wants to murder anyone that has it or tries to take it, while the other half wants to find a way to destroy or purify the blade so it's no longer a threat. I can say that even in the past hexed and cursed items have never had this much of an effect on me. And...there's still the matter of finding Cer, the first cursed blade I had. I knew, the curse on that was a minor one and one that wouldn't alter my mind or warp it like the Gold blade of Ren. Cer was more of an...empowerment for my curses.
I am still troubled by the tarrokk cards the old Vistani woman showed me from the other day. The first three showed the past, present and future for the sword.
The past, being Ren. The present being myself and the future...being a cell or prison of sorts. That isn't to concerning, however it was the next three cards that I need to worry about.
The inverted Knight, the thief, and lastly...The devil, or the Dark forces as the Vistani woman put it. She did advise me to rid myself of the blade as soon as possible if I had any hope of surviving. And it did bring me some comfort that she could tell there was a shadow like force following me when I had the blade. Her vardo seemed well equiped to Ward off whatever may have been affecting me and give me my own senses again. I didn't hear the chittering shades during that whole reading.
But, it doesn't ease what has been done already. I look far older than Twenty Three now. If I had to guess, I would say I look to be in my mid eighty's maybe seventies? So it is without a doubt that I would have been reduced to a pile of bones that the sword would have possessed or worse...turned my soul into a shade itself.
Perhaps that is what it meant by "Join us". The longer the person uses the blade or has it in their possession, the more they degenerate until the soul is plucked from the body. Then molded and twisted into a specter like the one that attacked me. It is a hunch but perhaps Ren was not the first to own this blade? Perhaps the Chorus of Specters are the unfortunate souls that fell victim to the blade?
Which...in a sense gives me a bit of a reason to find a way to break this curse on the sword more. I hate the idea of souls suffering after death. Even if they were once good or evil in the living world. In death they should not suffer like this.
Hmm...odd how I wish to curse the living with such unfortunate ends, while I wish the dead no further suffering. Rather ironic that I do one thing for Lady Doom and one for the Raven Queen. You wouldn't think those two would get along or want to be in the same ideals. Ah well, humans, we are odd creatures in the end if all things are put aside."