(Song lyrics are placed down in several places in the Quartier Public, Marchand, Ouvrier, and the Thieves' Highway.)
Useless Prophylactics
When you’re tumbling with your squeeze,
And don’t know who they’ve seen
When you’re kissing them and loving them,
And getting, well, you know what I mean!
Some swear by sheep intestine tubes
Some on Lamordian contraption
Some use herbal tea, whatever works
To avoid unwanted contagion!
[CHORUS]
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
When you’re in need and the blue coats chase
Don’t trust her to keep you safe!
There is a plague amongst the bluebloods
Evil that spreads as it may please
I’ve no fancy doctorate from the university,
So I jus’ call it the Gendarme’s disease
It’s a sickness of the heart
That sucks our blood like a tick
To this illness there’s no cure
Not even a prophylactic
[CHORUS]
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
When the blue coats chase you up the wrong track
Don’t trust her to have your back!
We’re good enough to work for her,
And she pays well enough, that’s true
But when it comes to weighty matters
She hasn’t invited you!
She’s got her place at the big table
While we’re crawling on all fours:
Her masters on the Council
Won’t let you forget yours
[CHORUS]
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
When the Council tore up the Constitution,
Did you expect her to show contrition?
I hope we’ve learned something today
Let’s not forget the facts
Some people claim to help others
Just to climb on their backs
So if you find yourself wanting,
Buried in a real deep fix
Don’t expect to be protected
By that sycophant Alix!
[CHORUS]
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
Baronesse de Prophylactic!
Don’t forget to smile and thank her
[The last verse is spoken without music or mirth]
When the Council’s boot is on your neck