Once more the monk with amethyst hair and eyes loitered around the Tser Pool, her mind jumbled with various thoughts. Some good, some bad. At times her memories replayed in her head as she heard her old self make comments about opening a rift to the Jhaamdath Empire. Of hopes to learn more about Psionics and the sleeping deity she choose over Torm. A quiet sigh left her before her gaze fell to her reflection in the calm waters of the pool.
"As much as I wish he was hear. And much as I wish I could hear him and find some guidance in what I'm suppose to do to get out...this silence is far to unsettling." Aella murmured as she sat beside the pool. "Qi-Fon, Zu Jing, Master Lin-Shouhan, Master Reí Ming, Master Xio Zheng...I wish you all were hear to give me strength and tell me what it is I must do. I feel like that weak child again...locked in chains with no hope of seeing the sun's rays of light." She paused a moment and pinched the bridge of her nose.
"I wish Moshi were here, but this place isn't for him. To many werewolves and we're creatures would want to kill him. Even though... he's technically a werecat...it would be comforting to know he's alright though."
For what felt like hours, Aella watched her reflection in the pool. She dwelled on the memories of her hold life. Of the pain she had gone through. She knew it was stupid, she was aware of how restraining it was for her to dwell on the old memories. But...she couldn't stop the memories from coming back no matter how far she tried to drown them in her present situation. Aella knew she wasn't the same, she knew she hadn't been the same since coming to the mist. She felt as though she broke an unspoken rule with her psionic abilities back in Cormyr, but she didn't know what rule that was. Nevertheless, here she was. A prisoner of the Mists with little hope of seeing her family and friends again.
"He'd tell me not to give up." She softly spoke to the water. "That it's to soon for me to back down and let go of life. Yet...here and I am, degrading myself because I'm giving up hope on things. I need to find a purpose again, a reason to keep living. But...how do I find that when it all seems so hopeless? Despair is the law of this domain. Either I die here or I'll go mad with grief. Neither being the thing I want. Then again...what do I want? Guess...I need to do more soul searching. My anger has cooled, so why does it still feel like there's still a large hole in my chest? Why does it still feel like there's a part of me missing?"
A few more hours pass and night begins to fall. Aella had laid back in the grass, her eyes trained to the cloudy night sky above. The rain fell and danced across her skin as she remained motionless, the lids of her eyes closing while her brain weaved in and out of mangled thoughts. Lingering memories of those she once knew, those she once loved and those that she failed to recognize before they were taken away from her.
"One thing is for certain though, I must get out of this depression. And Master Xio isn't here to smack some sense into me...I wish Sylus, Vindel, Norah, Mystogan, Leah, Meesha, Loren, Wyn, all of them were here to get me out of this. But...Maybe it's good that they're not. I'm...I'm not a very good judge of character sometimes. And I'm certain one of them might just end up dead because of their views of things. Regardless, I hope they're still alive and I hope they found some happiness. I also hope none of them remember me...and treat me like some terrible dream. I'm...I'm not really worth remembering after all." A weak chuckle escaped her while a single tear rolled down from the corner of her eye into the grass. "Heh, there I go again. Being a drama queen. I really need to get out of that habit. I don't have time for tears."