You have been taken by the Mists

Author Topic: Of Earth and Rain- Amara's Journal  (Read 115 times)

ServantofShar

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Of Earth and Rain- Amara's Journal
« on: January 19, 2021, 08:09:24 PM »
January 19, 776

It has been nearly six years since I arrived in the mists, and some things just never change. The only thing that seems to change for me is that I am now keeping a journal so that I don't forget things I should not. Names and faces are hard to remember these days, not that they were really easy to remember in the first place. But I still remember my first friends. First it was Shadow and Colt, then it was Harold, Katraka, Rayne, and Alten. Oddly enough I counted Connie of the Morninglords among my friends, as well as the Martels of the Ezrite faith. They were always kind to me too.

So many years have passed since those days, and yet I remember them so clearly. Not their faces, but their mannerisms and actions. These days I have new friends. First Ghailer, Victoria, Errdil, Aran, and Heir, then Kymil, Vida, and Ulrich. It is odd to me that I would make such friendships after so many years of being alone. After the incident with Katraka I pushed everyone away, not letting anyone close, but then that all changed with Victoria. She is practically a sister to me, and she pushed me out of my shell again to be new. Since then, I have become stronger than I ever was, and I have grown since her disappearance a moon ago.

Some things don't change though. I am still alone. I still suffer from the same curse as I did before... everyone who I love as more than just friends or family either abandons me or dies. And this curse has been the cause of much suffering for me, as I still wish for that feeling. I see Ulrich and Vida so happy together, and I crave that feeling. I see Vic and Errdil the same, and I am jealous of their bond. Perhaps here I am just not meant to have that again.

But onto happier measures. I have finally achieved eighth circle, and soon will need to ask Creighton to teach me to take the elemental shapes. I don't know how well I can do that though. The thought scares me, to take those forms. I know nothing of the elementals. As it is it is painful, the breaking of the bones to change my shape into that of an animal. But it is a comforting sort of pain, a pain I am used to. I am a skinwalker, one who feels more comfortable in the form other than that of my birth... but that does not stop the fear that the pain will be too great. I fear that the first time I take the water form it will tear me apart. But I will still seek this power. I feel helpless when in Sithicus with Kymil and our friends. The water form would be so useful to them there.

One day all of this will make sense to me. But for now I just have to trust in Rillifane and his guidance. The path he has set for me will become clear soon enough.
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