You have been taken by the Mists

Author Topic: Alusfaen ath salen Arael  (Read 283 times)

Kiess2606

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Alusfaen ath salen Arael
« on: January 16, 2021, 08:10:29 PM »
   It has been so long. So long from home, my friends, my family. They never would know what had happened, wouldn't know of you, wouldn't know of our ch-. I miss the nights, watching you sleep, your smell, the sound of your voice. The happiness it once brought. Now the memory of them is a burden I do not want to bare. So long since that dreadful night. I gave up on everything and everyone. I had not the strength to even attempt a shallow conversation. Years I've spent away, hiding. Who could lose anymore, had I not lost enough already? Reverie has only made the pain last longer. I still dread the moments the images flood my mind, reliving that night over and over again. If I could pass the cursed memory to anyone else and all it left behind I would. Forgetting is better than living in the past every single day. My hatred for the religion that stood behind the acts of their followers only grows. Strangers I have never met I loath with all of my being. This is not who I am. Or maybe it is, now.

    I do not know what brought me out of hiding. Maybe the boredom and overwhelming loneliness? Wherever the strength came from, I am thankful for it. There have been moments of light where before had only been darkness. Moments I can breathe with ease and revel in laughter. Moments those memories do not haunt me. I had forgotten the sound of my own laughter, they way it felt to smile. I think I can do this. Long dormant emotions have started to surface. Things I thought I would never feel again I think I can. Maybe I am being foolish to let this happen so quickly, but it feels unbelievable to have friends again. To have someone to talk to, to laugh at the nonsense that is this place. But one in particular human I have grown quite fond of. That was my downfall last time... and then a friend, my kin, she spoke of the problems with attachments to humans and their short lives. Having to live with their loss for hundreds of years. She does not know I am already doing that, but her words stuck like a knife. She is not wrong, I should listen to what she says, look to my own past and choose my companions better. I could avoid the chance of history repeating itself by just walking away, but he has suffered a similar loss. Something I never expected until he said it. I wanted to tell him I knew what it was like. That I could understand the pain but I could not bring myself to say it.
   
    A drunken Hin I happened to run into one night has been a welcome distraction from these worries. She has a free spirit and a wit about her that makes me laugh like I had not a care in this world. She's very easy to talk to, her past stories are very interesting. She reminds me of the days I would wonder the lands to different places back home. Meeting people who live lives so completely different than mine. I love to hear about her crew and her journeys at sea.


I can do this. I just need to keep my head above water. I do not need to reach land, I just have to breathe.



Alexandria Zathra, Lina Luxton, Lilith Mithariel

Kiess2606

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Re: Alusfaen ath salen Arael
« Reply #1 on: February 08, 2021, 04:48:05 AM »
   The more your face shows up in my memories the more I hate this life you've left me with. Every moment I think I am moving forward, something hits me like a blow to my stomach and I have to fight the urge to gasp or crumble in front of people who would not understand. I am tired. I can not escape you in reverie, I can not escape you in the middle of a beautiful sunny afternoon. I'm beginning to realize that no matter how hard I fight it, something will bring every single memory to the surface. The years I spent on my own were lonely, but I only had to keep my own mind in check. The more time I spend in the world with people, the more I see I can not prepare for the those moments when someone says something so simple, not knowing the weight of the words on my ears, and I start careening toward that wall of despair.

   The last time was a Half-Vistani woman. She was suffering from something I think she referred to as moon madness. The nights I spent with her I pitied her for what she had to endure in those three nights surrounding the full moon. Her mind in those moments was not hers. One particular night though her hallucinations were of someone like you. Hearing it, for a moment I was lost. I know you are gone but it did not matter. For a split second I thought she was speaking of you. That sliver of hope was more brutal than any physical pain I have ever endured and  Oh..., what I would endure to never feel that again.

   Before her it was a very tall elf. A complete stranger, but how rude I was to him. We passed the long night just talking in the temple like strangers do about our pasts, where we were from, you know the questions that should be simple... He mentioned he had been looking for a family member, that he had not stopped since the mist took him because they had been with them when the mists came. His determination to continue looking after so long and not accepting that they may have never even came here, let alone survived the mists, seemed so foolish and wasteful to me. Why after so long with out a hint that they are here would you give up your life, endlessly searching. Anyone who had been here as long as he had, had to know how futile it was. And as those thoughts ran through my mind I did not bother to stop them from falling from my mouth. I did not soften them as I told him how he needed to find a way to move on, that the time that has elapsed since he arrived was far to long to have not found them by now. When he told me it was his child he was looking for I wished I could take back everything I had said. Of course he would not stop. How could he stop looking for his child. I would have went to the ends of the world, nothing would have stopped me. If only I had that chance. And just like that, the knot in my throat grew and again I was forced to shove that pain back into the depths of my being where it belonged. Where so badly I wished there was nothing.

   The more I struggle to move on, the more I feel as if its impossible. At least on my own... I have begun contemplating ways to rid myself of these memories that assault my mind so persistently. You are gone, ent desha nha saren lyth. I can not change the past and I refuse to fight to breath just to get through a day without you for the rest of the long life I should still have ahead of me. I have considered asking a powerful mage I met if their is something they could do. I know they have ways to alter ones mind. Are their consequences from doing something like that? Would they be enough to make me reconsider? Would I be different from who I am now without the horrid memories of that night haunting me? Would I forget the people I know now and if it could happen, could I go through with it?

Alexandria Zathra, Lina Luxton, Lilith Mithariel

Kiess2606

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Re: Alusfaen ath salen Arael
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2021, 02:25:44 PM »
   "Why waste a perfectly good corpse?" Did I hear him correctly? I thought he was just trying to get under my skin, to make a joke, a really bad joke. But his reaffirmation about that question made it blindingly clear he could not see the problem with necromancy. I froze up, letting the conversation die out but his words would stay, festering in the back of my mind as I tried to find someway to justify his openness and acceptance of something so terrible. Knowing the life he lived before here, what he is, what they did, its not unbelievable he would see things this way. I do not know if his mind can be swayed to see necromancy for what it is. The horrible affects of its use and the negative energy it leaves in its wake even after the corpse is laid back to rest. I attempted to argue about how unnatural it is... but he reminded me of what he is. How could I explain my hatred of necromancy to him without it sounding like a hatred of him. It seems as if every step we take forward something takes us a step back. I hope that when this conversation comes up again, which it undoubtedly will, that it does not end in blood shed like our last disagreement.

   I have finally found some sense of peace. Is peace the right word? Or is it just a good distraction from my thoughts? Either way, I have taken up several crafts that give me reason again. After you I gave up on everything and it is nice to have something to do again. I have a sort of mentor I guess who has helped me tremendously. His knowledge and guidance has proven invaluable. I'd have never imagined the strange man I had run into by accident, who offered a wild animal sugar instead of trying to kill it for its pelt or out of fear, would become such a dear friend.

   While mining in the mountains, the sound of my cursing and pick axe connecting with the rock drew the attention of an elf I had not met before. He offered to help me with what I was doing. With limp and exhausted arms I gladly handed over the tool he needed and took a moment to sit down and catch my breath. He was marvelous to watch. What would have taken me an entire night he did in just a few hours. The conversation with him was strange though. As thankful for the help as I was, I could not bring myself to truly relax with him near. Everything he said had harsh undertones to it. His body was completely covered from head to toe, there was no way of seeing who or what he was, but I swear I caught a glimpse of red eyes from under his hood. Maybe that could explain my unease if my suspicions about him are true. And if one of his kind was not enough, I think somehow I have made an unlikely friendship with another...

   She is a small elf, shorter than I am. It was by accident that I found out who she really was. I attempted to show her around, to take her to Degannwy in hopes it would give her somewhere to stay, only to find out she is not welcome there. I was irritated she had not told me sooner, annoyed that I had led her to a place that I call home under the assumption she was like me. But after more time with her, I feel that my frustration with her was misplaced. If she is not just telling me what she thinks I want to hear, then she is truly different from the others of her kind that I have met. Her actions say she wants to be better than the history that follows her wherever she goes. I would love to believe people can change for the better, but it will take more time for me to truly trust her and accept that she is not like the rest of them. She has asked that I keep what she is a secret, I have no reason to cause her any harm so I told her that I would.
« Last Edit: February 08, 2021, 02:33:01 PM by Kiess2606 »

Alexandria Zathra, Lina Luxton, Lilith Mithariel

Kiess2606

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Re: Alusfaen ath salen Arael
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2021, 06:48:56 PM »
   Plopping down on the small cot, in the tiny hut, I start to sort through the mass of things we have to work with. My bags grow heavier from our endeavors but the heavier my bags grow, the lighter the burden on my heart feels. Its in these moments, watching him curse at the cauldron, or destroy a table because something is not going to plan, that I can breath. I laugh, I joke, I smile. Remembering these moments helps keep the pain at bay. For a moment I am free from the burden you left me. I was not sure if peace was the right choice of words, and now I am certain that it is. Salen Adon. He may never know how much he has been helping me, but I intend to do whatever it takes to return his unintended gift. Woe betide any who would threaten my peace.

   And the threats do come. The nights have been more alive as of late with vampires, wolves and mist that moves with a mind of its own. Adon and my halfling friend have both ran into a vampire in the night on separate recent occasions. Thankfully they were unharmed but just the thought of something happening to them has my fingers aching for the safety of my claws. I had not realized when they told me about their brushes with vampires that it would only be the beginning.

   Only a few nights later I would have my own run in, luckily it was not face to face and alone. We held up in the Lady's Rest while the vampire and her minion attacked all who were unlucky enough to be outside. We took refuge in the basement hoping that the rumors, that the vampires could not enter, were true. We made it to dawn and with tired eyes we embraced the sun and what those warm rays meant for us.

   Another night would prove even more terrifying. Adon, my new elf 'friend', and another would enter the keep to the west. It was to be a training experience for us and for them. We knew we would be fighting to protect them from the horrors that waited inside but we had done this before. We knew what to expect inside and we were well prepared to take them on. Or so we thought... When we reached the end of the corridor, opening the last door before we ascended to fresh air, we walked right into what I believe was the lair of a vampire. The coffin rested in the corner, a sturdy coffin made of stone. We were not prepared for this fight. As we all agreed that we would need more help, stronger allies, we ascended the roof and headed back to the outskirts to find them.

   Quickly I was able to find two friends of mine who were fierce allies. Strong and capable in their skills. I thought we were set, I thought this would be easy now. The thought of something happening to any of us made my stomach turn but I ignored the feeling because I knew what we as a group were capable of. I knew it would take quite a force to stand in our way. Adon and I had fought so closely together for so long now we knew how to cover each other, how to protect each other. I did not however plan on our foe preparing for our return. And I did not plan on there being more than one. Had I known then what I know now, I would have never let them return.

   We prepared as best we could, then descended back into the dark depths of the keep. The last moment of silence before the impending chaos would begin. Our arrival did not go unnoticed, or unexpected. Within moments of returning we would be beat back by a small army of vampire warriors. But we were doing well. With claws and fangs I ripped them to shreds with my allies cutting them down beside me. I did my best to keep myself between the small elf and the vampires. These were far too strong, they would kill her in seconds if given the chance. We finished them with no casualties but not without wounds. While Adon prepared to destroy the coffin, we all tried to bandage our wounds and prepare to leave, but we would not have time. As the blast crumbled the coffin to a pile of rubble, the sounds of many footfalls racing down the corridor could be heard.

   They were coming for us and this time they would be stronger than before. This time they would bring a few very powerful mages with them. With our lives at stake we did the only thing we could. Fight. In the chaos somehow we were separated. Two of our group had fallen, there were three of us left but as Adon ran toward what I could only imagine was going to be his death he shouted to get out. Leaving and staying had never been so hard. To walk out when I knew what he was about to face, but he is strong. I had to believe he would make it back out. I do not know how he did it, and I do not care, I had never been so relieved to see someone return. With the two fallen we made our way out of that wretched place.

   One of the fallen had an orb on them and I was able to bring her back. The others wanted to take the small elf to the Ezrites. So many emotions swirled through my head. I would not be able to explain the reasons behind why I would not raise her there. For one I was certain it would not be safe for her there if they found out what she was, but maybe it was more the disgust I had for Ezrites that kept me from allowing it. It did not matter which it was, neither were something I could explain to them, so if they found me foolish for wanting to carry her all the way back to the outskirts then so be it.

   Encumbered with the burden of her body, Adon and I stopped to catch our breath as the others hurried back. It was a mistake. We should have known better, the night was young and we were not safe from the horrors we faced until the sun would rise. Adon always told me of the wolves out there, how dangerous they could be. The fear or respect for their strength that he had was enough to make me believe him. So when the wolf, the wolf that towered over us, emerged from the trees I thought this was it... We were not going to make it. He yelled for us to run and we did, but he stopped. He took on the enormous beast, I would not leave him to die, not after what we just survived. I ran back to help him but he again yelled for me to go. I have learned not to question him in moments like this but he is testing my will to leave him behind. If I hadn't had the elf burdening me I would have ignored him this time. Instead I headed for the temple, forcing my paws to push me toward it, further away from him and not knowing if there were more.

   Shifting just before reaching the outskirts, I lugged her lifeless body to the priestess. Thankfully she was able to bring her back, and as I helped her in that moment, my eyes were trained on the door. Pleading with a god I have not spoken to in ages to let him walk through it alive. And he did. We were all back now, all safe and our wounds bandaged or healed. It was over. But just as that thought and the relief entered my mind, a thunderous, murderous howl rattled the temple. The sound was loud and painful to hear. We were not finished yet. What in all the hells had we done by returning to that place. It seemed whoever we disturbed was not going to let us leave this night with our lives.

   As quickly as I could manage I warded us, and we prepared to put an end to the evil once and for all. But none of us were prepared for what was waiting for us. Upon leaving the temple we were under attack by an army of wolves, but it was not the army of wolves I was worried about... it was their leader. The wolf towered over the temple, it was warded with magic of it own. How could we survive this? We fought with everything we had left. I think the fury I had in me at this point, watching the ones I cared about fight for their lives, gave me the strength I needed to continue. My claws were longer and I would tear into them deeper than they could me. This was going to end now and we were not going to be the ones to lose. We chased them back into the night, catching up to each of them and finely putting an end to a night none of us will soon forget. I just hope that it was the end.

   I followed Adon back to the outskirts. Both of us battered and bruised but alive. He asked for a moment with me so I followed him into the cemetery. He held something in his hands and before I knew it he had fastened it around my waist. When I realized what he had just given me I was at a loss for words. What do you say to someone who has given you a gift that could never be repaid. I stumbled my way through a terrible thank you in comparison to the gift but it meant so much more to me than I could describe. He said it was to keep me safe, and when I asked him why he would not use it to keep himself safe, his response made me laugh. But nonetheless it was true. I would do whatever it took to keep him that way.

   One of our friends asked to speak with me for a moment when we returned. She knew something was off about the way I had acted earlier in regards to the Ezrites raising the small elf. She wanted to know what it was about. I could not tell her everything. I had given my word to the elf that I would not say anything. And the latter was telling her about you. Neither of which I could do but she would not stop without an answer. I asked her as a friend to give me some time to answer that question. To trust me and understand that I could not answer at that moment. Thankfully she understood.

   After everything that had happened I can not escape reverie. My body is tired, my soul is tired and I will not heal without it. Please let the memories that flood my mind be far from any of you.

Locking the door, she tucks her journal away deep in her pack. Pulling out something smaller, she climbs onto the bed. Crossing her legs under her, she leans back against the wall; with a deep sigh she rests hands that are clasped about a doll in her lap and closes her eyes.
   

   

   

   

Alexandria Zathra, Lina Luxton, Lilith Mithariel

Kiess2606

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Re: Alusfaen ath salen Arael
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2021, 05:56:27 PM »
   As nice as the day started out, I could not have imagined the way it would end. I stood there, watching my friends stare each other down, ready to rip the others throat out. It happened so quickly I wasn't even sure how I ended up between them. The voice in my head praying they would not make me choose sides. How many more times can we do this? How much more will they take before even I cannot stop them from themselves?

*The quill drops to the table, leaving an inky black streak across the parchment. She runs hands over her tired face, sighing through her fingers.*
 
   I think he is getting worse. He is certainly getting more careless and nothing I say to him seems to matter. For a moment tonight I thought I might be getting through to him, he was calming down and everything would be ok, but I was wrong. The sound of the gunshot rang loud inside the inn. The ringing it left in my ears drowned out the noise of the tavern as I stared in disbelief at him and the damage he had left behind. My mind refusing to believe what he had just done. As the realization sank in my eyes were on the patrons, the door, him. I was certain if the guards were not drawn in by the sound, the people he just terrorized would bring them. My heart beating against my chest with every moment that passed by. The words never left my lips but the thought screamed out in my head, "What have you done?".

   After his rantings, and his descent to the basement, I did what I could to console and reassure the witnesses to his madness that they were safe. That he would not hurt them. But as I said the words, as I screwed the false smile to my face, I started to wonder more and more if I was trying to convince them, or myself. Could he hurt them? I no longer knew.

   As I ushered them outside, closing the tavern door behind them, my eyes fell on the door he stood behind and all of my fear boiled into anger. What have you done... If the guards come, how would I ever save him. They all saw his face, they would be able to point them straight to him if they chose to. Fuming, I headed for the stairs, determined to save him from himself. As my hand rested on the door knob, a fleeting thought crossed my mind. What if I can't?
   

Alexandria Zathra, Lina Luxton, Lilith Mithariel