Author Topic: Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia  (Read 434 times)

CBT

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Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia
« on: November 14, 2020, 01:23:08 AM »



Listen, maybe it was not the greatest idea to hide in the closet. Yes, it was a bad idea to come into this woman's house, and yes, it was even a worse idea to come into her bedroom. Yes, I picked the time that was nearest to people leaving Church service and heading back home for a snack or three. Yes, I didn't jump out the window as soon as I heard a key twist in the lock. I cornered myself. I fooled myself. I chose to believe I had a chance to get out with a score, and that I could wait it out.

How was I supposed to know she was cheating on her husband and that her naked lover and I would share a very tight, uncomfortable space?

I wasn't. And while I wish I could say that I stayed in there for longer than ten seconds, I bolted, and this time did indeed jump out of that damn window - with only a silken scarf to my name and a whole lot of shame.

Maybe Levkarest wasn't ready for me. Maybe I wasn't ready for Levkarest.

Next time will be better.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2020, 06:23:41 PM by CBT »
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Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2020, 02:04:15 PM »
But hold your horses. Let me tell you a story from my distant past, a story, while like many others, is unlike many others still.

As a child in the hard, hard streets of Lechberg, days are lived hand to mouth. Yes, mother may have been a girl for hire. Yes, father was a big old question mark in the book that was my life. Yes, I stole fruit from stands in the market and ran for the purity of my soul (if you don't get caught, it's not a sin, of course), and yes, I picked pockets. Oh, don't give me that look! You would have done the same. Probably worse, judging by the fact you are listening to this drivel.

Anyway, the other urchins and I, well, we had a favorite merchant to bully. Not because he was easy to steal from - no, quite the opposite. The man was some kind of retired soldier, with big hands and sturdy legs that made him run faster than most of us. On the flip side, he sold the juiciest citrus fruit one could ever dream of, with oranges so big they could kill a man if they dropped on his head. But most importantly, it was a challenge of skill to be able to get away from him, and those that couldn't? Well, they'd get whipped. So, naturally, gentle six-or-something year old me thought: "Why, I am small and quick and agile and smart and clever and small, I can do it with my hands tied and my eyes blindfolded!"

What a joke. I got caught before I could take two steps away from his stall. The glare he gave me was something I will never forget, because what followed was a black eye and twenty-five lashings - all for not having the gold for a bite to eat and having the gall to take the matter of my starvation into my own hands. But I suppose there is one thing to learn from this entire ordeal.

If you ever go to Lechberg, avoid the orange man. He is a bad, bad man.
« Last Edit: December 23, 2020, 06:19:49 PM by CBT »
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Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2020, 09:01:48 PM »
I will say, though, that there are worse things in life than my own fate. You ever hear about Falkovnia, mate? 'Course you have. Place gives me the shivers every time I think about it or any poor sod that's come from there. Don't get me wrong, I'd put a knife in the ribs of any Hawk that would dare to swagger up to me and try and steal my money or my life, but, hells, you also have to realize I have a lot of empathy for them.

Just imagine living your entire life under the boot of a tyrant like their Kingführer. Maybe here we get smothered by poverty, debtors' prisons, disease, debauchery, the Church - please don't tell anyone I said that - and so many other things. But there? There, you get some fat louts in thick black armor walking up to your farm and sodomizing everything in it. Your food, your family, you, maybe even your animals. And it's all right! It's all ordained and good and right with the world and as it should be! It's all the gospel of the Kingführer, the pleasure of serving him and getting killed for doing it well. It's messed up, I tell you.

Now, again, I have to say, I don't endorse home. You know? But Falkovnia... Falkovnia, I don't understand. I'll never understand anyone who would cooperate with them, anyone who would applaud them, anyone who admires the Kingführer. It's a sad, sad joke.

Anyway, let me tell you why I hate Invidia.
« Last Edit: November 15, 2020, 02:28:17 AM by CBT »
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Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2020, 12:56:01 AM »
Now, pal, you must be listening to this and thinking about ways to shut me up. A small hint, you can't. You've put yourself in this situation, fair and square, and there's no point to complain! I won't listen. Anyhow, there's one more thing I don't understand.

Women.

Out there in the wilds we call civilization, the company of women is desired by almost all men but we have a hard time getting it, unless we got money. Money makes the world go round, and even this is something we can get with it. Sad, if you ask me, but what can you do? Very little. But some men, decent men - like myself, naturally - don't indulge in that. No, no, I try and get a squeeze kindly, nicely done and with mutual appreciation of the situation. You know, how an honorable, good fella has to.

For a long time, I was sweet on this girl from the watering hole closest to the apartment where I lived. That tavern had nothing nearly as enticing as those big old eyes, that curly hair, and don't get me started about everything else. Hoof, I might get a bit steamy, thinking about her again. But anyway, I went there often, trying to catch her attention - little luck, as you might expect. I'm not the handsomest man this side of the Ivlis, but I got my moments of wit and humor. I was hoping that'd do it. I'd once even gotten a smile.

But my time of impertinence and feelings of entitlement to her attention soon waned. I hadn't felt frustration, only strange disappointment in myself. Was it because I spent too long slobbering over a piece of meat, or was it because I felt inadequate? Who knows. Who cares?

What I don't understand about women is why we lose the entire function of our mind when the very mention of one pops up.
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Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2020, 11:12:34 PM »
Now, another thing that kind of ticks me off, and I don't know if you've ever felt like this, but, mate, I gotta complain for a moment about family. Now, you might remember, that I don't have a father, and my mother, well - she's a working girl. And she's not easy to deal with, let me tell you that much - but thank the Sainted Mother I never had the business to talk to her too much. She cared, but she was bad at it.

The real problem was her sister, and her son.

My cousin, Ioan, is a persistent little tick that latches onto anyone that will show him the slightest bit of care. I saved him from bullies once and that was it. My life was over! He was up my puckered cheeks for the next decade and a half! I never asked for it. His mother was worse, always asking me to take care of him, pretending to be my mother too. It was all just uncomfortable. And I keep asking myself why?

Short answer is, probably because they were both starved for love. She could barely love him, pudgy useless bottom-feeder that he was, but she had to pretend. And he had to latch onto me, because his mother working was too hard for him to think about. Honestly, thinking about it gives me a headache.

But I am still scarred by the phrase, "Hey, Federico, let's play Gundarak!"
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Straight Shootin' / Federico Viscia
« Reply #5 on: November 25, 2020, 02:18:01 PM »
Forgive me if I didn't make myself clear - I'm always there when the gold clinks and comes calling. It's a simple truth for me, and I gotta say, it's the only thing I respect. It's something we put a value on for no real reason so we'd be able to trade with each other, in exchange for work, for goods, or services. In the end, it's primary use for most people is to fend off starvation.

I was never big on it in that regard, if you're following me. No? Alright, well - I'm not happy with simply surviving. And while money's worthless without the value people give it, it's that value that lets you hold power over people's heads. So, yeah, I'm a crook. And? Have you got something better to say of yourself and your lifestyle? I don't think so. I don't think you and I are so different; I just think I'm smarter than you.

Maybe years from now, when I'm older, I'll tell someone the story of how I robbed you blind of everything you had.

Not that it's much.
crossbow and bolt torture, church of bane theocracy, critter and beast transmutation, cursed and burning terrors, choucroute et boeuf tourtiere, and various eclectics