You have been taken by the Mists

Author Topic: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul  (Read 3018 times)

Eien

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Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« on: April 20, 2020, 10:09:06 AM »
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It was cold, but it did not matter.

"Vaeldian! We need to run! Why have you stopped?!" She said.

Her voice reached my ears.
I stopped, looking at the scenery, the mountains, the snow... the trees.

"Did you hear me?!" She walked closer.

I looked back toward her, and I heard the heave steps of armored men further down below.
She was beautiful, even now, I wanted to cry but I couldn't.

"You need to run, I will hold them back." I said, turning the other way.

"I am not going without you! Are you crazy?!" She was crying, I could hear it in her tone, but I didn't look.

"They will catch us eventually, I need to distract them while you cut off your trail, use your magic if you need to." I said, dry.

"You can't be serious, I ca-"

"JUST GO!" I looked back, she was crying as I thought, I could hear the knights getting closer.
She looked at me in the eyes, and she ran, like she had a moment of realization that I was serious and determined.

And I was alone, I unsheated my swords.
My hands trembling.
Tears on my cheeks.
And I saw the Thayan Knights.
I closed my eyes trying to hold the tears, but it was too late.
That was the moment I realized I lost her forever.

The knights approached me.
"Where is she...?" One of them said, the others whispering among themselves.

"Is he crying?" Some of them laughed.

"Where. Is. She?" The knight asked again.

I said nothing, I was too scared to say anything.

"Just kill him, and find the woman." The knight said, and started walking next to me, while the others unsheated their blades.
The moment he stepped at my right side, something clicked, he probably didn't expect me to react.
I slashed his throath, he fell next to me.
The last thing I remember is the other knights shouting and charging toward me.

And I woke up here... in this place I never knew.
Barovia, they call it.
I suppose it is better than being dead.

I just want to know if you are still alive, Nadia.

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2020, 04:07:11 AM »
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When I was first told I couldn't go back to you, I wanted to throw myself into the mist, and die.
The sun was rising and falling like every day, life went on, but not for me.
I started doing some small work just to buy food and carry on, but I feel hollow.

What am I doing in this place?
Is this fate?
Is there an hidden message to all this?
Why have I ended up in such a cursed place?

I am not a hero, or an adventurer, I am just a guard from a small and isolated town.
That's what I thought in the beginning but then I realized it.
I have lost everything, I am currently dead to anyone that was dear to me.
I might as well try and push my limits, to find purpose, to fill the emptiness.

What is the worst that could happen to me at this point? Death?
In this situation, it sounds like salvation.

Then they told me a story, about an heroic woman that sacrificed herself to become the Guardian in The Mist.
The story of Ezra, a known goddess in this reality I am in.
Clerics, knights and all sorts of believers follow her guidance.

I was never into faith, I was always afraid of the Gods, the idea of such powerful beings having so much power over our lives scared me.
I kept that thought away, and lived a simple life, with as much integrity as possible.

But now...
I need something to hold on to.
I need something to give meaning to my day to day life.
I need something to fill my mind.
Other than sadness.

I will get closer to this religion I was told about, if I have to die here, I'd rather die doing something meaningful.

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2020, 05:09:01 AM »
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I can no longer deny reality.

I should have died in several occasions, but Her power saved me.
Maybe She was the one that brought me here, I should have died that day.
Maybe I am supposed to be here to serve a higher purpose.
Maybe my past life was all preparation for this journey.

I can no longer deny Her.

How presumptuous and arrogant of me would it be?
To turn my back to the Goddess that saved me.
That is not me, I always repay kindness and mercy.
Never before I felt a God so close to me.

What the Toret said is true.
She is there for us, I was saved just like him.
She has lost everything to have a chance to better this world.
She watches us and protect us, Her power is not just a story.

I will grow and learn.
There is much I need to learn, so much information still missing.
But I will not let that discourage me.
I am Vaeldian Melthar, and I do not fail those who believe and trust me.

I will not disrespect You, rejecting your kindness.

What would you say of me, Nadia?
Me, turning into a man of faith?
Could you believe that?
« Last Edit: April 25, 2020, 12:12:51 PM by Eien »

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2020, 10:56:10 AM »
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I can hear the sound of my boots stepping on fresh snow.
The cold breeze on my face.
I can see her.

"Do you remember when we first met?" she said.
That was long ago, fifteen years maybe.
She smiled then pointed foward, a boy and a girl, in a snowy forest.

I recognize myself, much younger, I was going back to the town after hunting.
I recognize her, we were almost of the same age, her hair like fire among the snow.
She was new to the town, her family moved in a few days before.
She wasn't from Icewind, I could see it.

"You shouldn't walk alone outside the walls." I told her, walking past her.
"You are Vaeldian, right?" She replied, and I stopped, looking back toward her.
"How do you know my name?"
"Your father said that he has a son about my age, that goes out to hunt alone."
I didn't reply, and kept walking, I heard her steps closer and closer.
"Do you want to be friends?"
I turned back again, I didn't expect that question, I looked at ther in the eyes.
I always turned down sudden requests like that.
"Perhaps..."
"So we are friends! I am Nadia!"


I felt pain, hearing those words again.
Everything disappeared.
Her voice again.

"You have always been cold, but I didn't mind."

And now she is next to me, with her head leaning on my shoulder.
I suddenly see blood coming out of her mouth.
She falls to the ground.

I can't breath.
I can't move.
I can't do anything but watch.
My heart stops.

I want to scream her name.
Nothing but silence.

And I can move, but everything is gone, a room of The Lady's Rest.
I had that nightmare again.
It was all in my own mind.

« Last Edit: April 29, 2020, 05:39:57 PM by Eien »

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2020, 05:09:11 AM »
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The Time of Unparalleled Darkness.
Was I spared from death for this?

"There is no such thing as coincidence." Warden Creek said.
Perhaps he is right.

What is my role in all this?
Do I even have a role?
If so, why me?

I didn't join the Ezrite faith seeking salvation.
I have nothing left to be saved apart from my own life.
I have joined the faith to find purpose.
I have joined the faith because I felt that Her sacrifice should be honored.
I have joined the faith because I want to fight, that's what I do.

They say there is no delaying or stopping this coming catastrophe.
I will still carry on and prepare for whatever Fate is going to throw at me.
I was given this second chance in this world and I will not waste it.
I will defend this life that was given to me.

This is not my life anymore, my life ended on the mountains of Icewind.
This new life is a gift from Her, I still believe that she was the one that spared me.

I will honor this gift.
I will bend to Her will.
I will fight Her enemies.

In this new life, I am nothing but a servant.
Perhaps one day we will meet again, Nadia, in the afterlife.

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2020, 08:55:25 AM »
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The feeling of my swords grips in my hands.
The sound of clashing steel.
The taste of blood on my lips.
The screams.
The burning feeling of my wounds.
And another head for the bounty office.

And again.
And again.
And again.

But it's not enough, still not worthy.
This training is making me colder, and colder.
I used to feel something toward these criminals.
Now I look at them and I can't see people anymore.

I see openings, weak spots, faltering.
I react, and another one falls.
Like dummies.

What am I becoming?
Is this what failure did to me?
Am I willing to lose what empathy was left in me?

Perhaps.

My role will be to defend the faithful and the clergy.
I can't even defeat the acolyte I am meant to protect, in duel.
They say it's the equipment.
They say that I have my own perks.
They say that I am too harsh with myself.

All excuses.

I will not rest on the illusion that the reason of my failures lies beyond me.
That would mean that I am not in control.
I am to become a templar, I can't afford not to be in control.

I need to improve.
This is not even nearly enough.
« Last Edit: May 12, 2020, 07:13:39 AM by Eien »

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #6 on: May 16, 2020, 07:19:43 PM »
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I am at my usual spot on the slope of the mountain.
Sitting on the same rock.
I can see Targos and the Maer Dualdon.

I feel safe, alone in the wilderness.
Why am I finding comfort among others?
I always did well on my own.

Perhaps I was a fool in believing that faith would have been enough.
Enough to make people so close to avoid what I hate in being among others.

"No one can ever be truly happy being alone."

I feel her sitting next to me, her head on my shoulder, her warmth. Nadia.

"Trust me, I know about being alone and I didn't even want to be!"

"Perhaps I am not happy like this, but if dealing with that kind of people makes me worse, why should I bother?"

"Don't be silly Vael, I was there for you, was I? Are you going to say that even I made it worse?"

"No..." Why do I feel like shaking?

"You have to learn and grow stronger, not run away on a mountain and be moody! I dont think anyone ever accomplished anything being sad on a rock, I think."

"Perhaps you are right." I smile, but I am still shaking, am I crying?

"You have such a strong heart and soul Vaeldian, don't hide it."

"Nadia... I..." Where is she...?!

"NADIA!"

I suddenly feel the tears on my face.
It's dark.
It's my room at the Lady's Rest.

Again, it was all in my mind...


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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #7 on: May 21, 2020, 12:34:54 PM »
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I am ready for trial.
So the Toret said.
Before asking me to duel with him.

I felt a hit on my chest at that sentence.
I am not ready to face him.
Not even nearly.
But I can't back down.

So I am facing him.
I am going to face him like I would face anybody else.
He is only human, after all.

I dash toward him and I hear him saying a prayer.
I falter, confused, I didn't expect him to pray.
I can't move...?!
What is this feeling of unworthiness.
I cannot fight.

He walks next to me, I am still frozen into my own thoughts.
Is this his Power?!
No... not his... Her...?!
He slams his sword into me and I am on the floor, coughing.
I have lost.

It can't be right, I will not be defeated like this.

"Let me try again, Toret."

He smiles and nods.
I dash toward him again, I can fight.
He parries my blow.
And another.
And another.
And another.
He is attacking back...!

I deflect his sword letting it slide just a few inches next to my face.
I can hear the steel hissing.
Where has his sword gone?!
Another attack?!
Deflect again.
And again.
And again.

I can't do this forever.
Slowly my vision gets narrower and narrower.
I could see the walls and the paving of the keep.
I could see the Toret.
Now I can only see the tip of his blade, while I desperately try to keep it away from me.

So I realize that I have stopped attacking.
I have no time.
He is too fast.

I can't keep this up anymore.
I get hit, and I am on the floor again.
I stand up again with the help of Her blessings.

I go back in line surrounded by people smiling and clapping.
What is this man...?
Is this what it means to fight with Her Favor?

What can a man do in front of this, other than show respect?

Who am I in front of such power?
« Last Edit: May 21, 2020, 12:37:03 PM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #8 on: May 26, 2020, 08:37:59 AM »
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I walked down the stairs, as the Commander told me.
What kind of lesson could I learn here?
I don't really know what to expect.

Silence.

I walk through the corridor and turn right.
A shrine? Surely there must be more.
There is another door on the opposite side.

More rooms... wait.
Tombs? Is this a crypt?
Who is buried here?

I am walking inside the crypt.
I read their names.
Initiates and Templars are resting here.
Even former enemies of the Church.

This was their final step, in the Grand Scheme.

I always thought it was arrogant of me.
To even think to ask Her for help.
Ultimately it is not about what I want.
My path is dictated by the Grand Scheme.
One way or another, I will follow Her plan.

So why bother praying?

As I lay my hand on the tomb of a fellow Initiate of Her First, I realize.
Perhaps I should not pray for myself.
Perhaps I should pray for those who fell and fulfilled their role.
Perhaps I should pray for them, so they can find salvation in the afterlife.

I will pray.
My first prayer will be for those who sacrificed themselves.
Grant them the honor to bathe in Your light.

I have never really prayed.
But if I dont like praying for myself, I will keep praying for others.
The Commander wanted me to learn something here, and I did.

Blessed be Ezra.

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #9 on: May 29, 2020, 04:55:59 AM »
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I smell blood, death.
It's dark, I can barely see my feet.
A trail of blood?

I can do nothing else but follow it.
"Turn back, Vael, for your own sake."

Is that Nadia's voice?
I can't see her, I just see this trail of blood leading me forward.
I feel the urge to continue.

"Only death and horror lies at the end of that trail, Vael, please stop."
She speaks again.

I feel something in front of me, a door?
I slowly push it open.
I see some sort of red glow beyond it.

Why is my heart starting to be beat so fast?

"Don't look! You can still turn back Vael! Please!"
I feel somebody grabbing my arm, trying to hold me back.
But I cannot stop, I have to walk in.

What is this? A statue?
A statue of... Nadia?! This doesn't make any sense.
What have they done to you?
I haven't ever seen such an horrific expression on you.

Wait...
I slowly turn my eyes down.

"NO!"

I feel someone pushing me back.
I feel my heart beating fast and strong.
So strong I can feel it in my throat.

A pool of blood.
Limbs and bodies floating in it.
So much blood.

Wait, I recognize those bodies...!

Rufus...
Owen...
Edward...
Mirhi...
Toret Garrett...

They are all dead, all of them.

"There is no Light in the Mist Vael... this is the truth... they will all die."
I am shaking.
No, this can't be the truth.
No way this is written in The Grand Scheme.

"I told you to turn back, you did not listen Vael, I did not want you to see this."

I turn back.
She is just behind me, Nadia.
She is pointing a dagger at me?!

"If you wont go away, I will have to make you go...!"

I cover myself with my arms as she tries to stab me.
I wake up gasping.
The beds inside the Redoubtable Chapel.

I am still shaking.
What is going on in my mind...

Ezra save my soul.

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #10 on: June 02, 2020, 03:01:49 PM »
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I am in the archives.
Moonlight coming from the windows.
Apart from that, just candle lights.

I am opening reports.
Reading dossiers.
Going through logbooks.

The more I continue, the more I read of the horrors that the church has fought.
Some horrors I could not imagine before this day.

The story of Raduta.
The wars.
The heresies.
The Legion.
The politics.

How could be all tainted?
How can we fight all this?

"Embrace it. Do not fight it." I hear a voice, a man.
It sounds familiar.
I grab a candle and look around the Archive, I am alone.

"Death is the only way to salvation." I remember this voice now... it's Anastase...!
I look around, I start to shake, he is nowhere to be seen.
I am afraid, I grab my holy symbol.

"Our Guardian got a place ready for you... Vaeldian... you just need... to let go..." I fall on my knees.
I am holding my symbol close to my chest, trembling.

"You should not ask Her to stop me, I am telling you what She wants."
I hear footsteps, I raise my eyes in tears.
It's him, just next to me, looking at me like a father would look at his own son.
He is different though, he looks pale, I can see the wounds I inflicted him.

"Let your life go... Vaeldian... end it now."
I am holding the symbol close again, keeping my head down.
I do not want to see him, I want him to disappear.
Please, Ezra, save me...!

"She wont help you defy Her will, Vaeldian, this is what She wants."

"LIES!"
I shout, raising my head to face him.
He is gone, he disappeared.
Maybe he wasn't even there to start with.

What is happening to me?
Ezra, I beg you, help me.
Praised be Your name.

Keep my mind intact and safe.

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #11 on: June 08, 2020, 08:21:02 AM »
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I am looking at Lake Zarovich.
A city in front of half frozen lake.
It reminds me of home.

What is home at this point?

I never really cared about Targos.
I just happened to live there.
I have meaning here, I have an oath, a mission.

"Not only that."

What do you mean?

"You care about people, here."

I did in Targos as well.

"Not really, apart from me, you didn't even care for your father."

You know why.

"You have grown many bonds here, Vael. You should show that you care more often but still I am proud of you."

I just happened to be lucky, most people here are not.
They are dead within a few days.

"Oh but you have Ezra protecting you, no?"

Oh please, stop mocking me, I know you don't believe any of that.

"Maybe, but I think it did good to you, so I am happy."

How can you be happy?
You are not even here.

"You think? I am a powerful sorceress! Remember?!" I can hear her chuckling.

"I know..."
I am smiling.
But I still want to cry.

I am slowly forgetting you face.
Forgetting your voice.
Forgetting your smell.

"Move on, Vael..."

I don't know if I want to...

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #12 on: June 11, 2020, 08:49:57 AM »
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It's pitch black.
I can't see.
Where is my torch?

I am standing on a stone floor.
I can't see anything beyond what the torch shows me.
I can hear something though.

A metal screeching sound.
Like someone scratching a blade on the floor.
It is walking around me.

"How many times will I have to tell you, Vaeldian?" This voice sounds familiar.

Suddenly Quinnton's corpse rolls into the light.
He is covered in blood and wounds.
His face is lifeless.

"How much death will you need to see, until you understand?" That voice again, moving around me.

"Show yourself!" I shout.

Another corpse is rolling from the darkness into the light.
It is Owen, this time.
I can barely recognize him.

"No matter how hard you try, you will die. All of you. This world will keep punching you back into submission until you understand it or perish."

I draw one of my swords.
"SHOW YOURSELF I SAID!"

"Be careful what you ask for... you don't want to see this."

Another body.
It is Edward this time.
His face has been ripped off.

"I want to protect you, Vaeldian. Fear will keep you alive, you must surrender. This play about being a Templar needs to end."

"You know nothing about me!"

I hear a laugh.
"I know you better than you know yourself."

My breath stops.
I see Mirhi's body, but it has been slashed in pieces.
I meet her lifeless eyes and start shaking.

"I told you not to become a guard. But you didn't listen.
I told you not to fall in love with the sorceress. But you didn't listen.
I told you not to become a Templar. But you didn't listen.
I told you to kill yo-"


"STOP! Not another word!"

"I have enough of your thoughts and opinions, you show poor judgement, Vaeldian."

I want to reply but I can't.
I feel blood coming out of my throat.
A deep cut suddenly opened in it.

I can't breath.

"Do as I say. Before we both end up dead. At this point you can trust me, no?"

A figure steps into the light.
Black robes and hood, a big scythe on his hand.
He lowers the hood.

That's my face.
That's me...?!

How...?!

I suddenly wake up on a bed.
The Redoubtable Chapel.
I feel my new scar on my throat.

I am still shaking.

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #13 on: June 22, 2020, 07:16:03 AM »
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I can hear Mirhi's voice.
I can see the lake.
I can see the town.

Her voice is slowly replaced by sound the of the cold wind.

I can see the rock where I used to sit.
There is a boy there though, is it me?
I walk toward the boy, I cant see his face from here.

"Why does she want you to forgive him?" The boy speaks to me.

Ailen? Is that you?

"I wont forgive him, I want him to burn in hell for eternity."

"Maybe he is, right now." I say, while sitting next to him.

"Good grief, you should have killed him that day. Good thing the Thayans got him."

"Maybe she is right, what's the point of hating a dead man?"

"Can we do anything else after what he has done? To you? To me...?"

"It is over now, is it? Why kee-"

"Is that how it is?! Do you want me to remind you?!"

"Ailen stop...!"

"NO! Now you stop and listen!"

He stands in front of the cliff, looking at me with anger in his eyes.

"The pain! The bruises! The intimidation! His words Vael! Do you want me to remind you?!"

"Ailen please stop..."

"Do you remember?! The smell of alcohol! The shattered glass on my face while he was beating me with a bottle?!
We could have been brothers, Vael, but he was a vermin! CAN YOU FORGIVE THAT WORTHLESS BASTARD?!"


"AILEN STOP!"
I stand up as well and shout, my voice echoing in the valley.

"Let me sleep..."
I said to myself.
Ailen is gone, disappeared.

And then it all goes dark.
« Last Edit: June 22, 2020, 11:50:48 AM by Eien »

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2020, 01:48:38 PM »
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Taken by the Mists again.

I don't know for how long.
I am covered in dirt and blood.
I can't feel my limbs anymore.

But I keep walking.

I overcame the horrors.
I walked through the illusions.
I listened to its lies.

But I keep walking.

Walking through this unending, dead and silent forest.

It's speaking to me again but I cannot hear it.
I am exhausted, I have shut down my mind to anything but two thoughts.
First, keep walking.
Second, fend off anything trying to stop me.

I stumble on a corpse.
But I've seen so much at this point that it means nothing to me.
Just like tripping on a rock.

I stand again and walk.

Another ghost is approaching.
I tighten the grip on the magic blades.
The ghost is no more.

I look forward again and walk.

I hear the Mist whispering to me like a background buzz.
But at this point I am not hearing it.
There is only me, and my will to escape.

I see Vallaki's walls, I am not impressed nor surprised.
It must be another bloody illusion.
I do not care, I need to keep walking.

Then I see her, Mirhi, she sees me and runs toward me.
Here we go, trying to disguise itself as Mirhi again.
I guess I will have to kill this one as well.

I bring my hands to the blades.
But, she is wearing green.
She is not... is she real?

Have I made it back?
Is this a dream?

Perhaps it is not.
« Last Edit: July 14, 2020, 01:51:13 PM by Eien »

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #15 on: July 24, 2020, 04:41:36 AM »
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"What are you doing, brother?" I hear Ailen's voice.

I open my eyes on the mountains.

I see the lake.
I see Targos.
I see Ailen.

"You are assembling the pieces to your own demise, brother."

"What do you mean?" I reply.

He smirks toward me.
"You are paving your way toward happiness, do I have to explain what this means?"

"I know what that means..."

"But... do you? Truly? I don't think you do." His smirk stops, a stone cold expression on him, as he gestures toward the view in front of us.

I see the lake and the town, I look toward him with a confused expression.

"Look harder."

I look back again, suddenly everything changes.

I see myself wearing my usual Templar armor.
The scenery around it becomes clearer, it is Raduta.
I see Templars waiting in line.
They stand as four others of them carry a coffin, a silver and green coffin.

Why do I want to cry?

I see Commander Ward next to me, with his hand on my shoulder.
Toret Garrett is leading the Templars with the coffin pronouncing a prayer.
I see Owen with his arms folded, further away from us.
This is a funeral.

"You know whose funeral this is."

I am crying now.
I see my other self walking away to the ramparts.

"You survived a fall like that once, you lost everything, you endured the pain."

We follow my other self to the ramparts.
He is holding a blade, point toward his belly.
He... I am trying to end my own life.

"I dont think you can endure that pain twice, Vael."

I don't know what to say.
I feel like I am suffocating.
I suddenly feel the tip of the blade piercing into my flesh.

I open my eyes and wake, it's Raduta.
The real Raduta.

A feeling of relief flows through me, it was all an illusion, a nightmare.

But deep I still feel that one day it might come true.

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #16 on: July 30, 2020, 09:13:44 AM »
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I am in a snowy forest.
I can hardly see what is around me.
A winter storm.

I can see a trail... of blood.

I start following it, my feet heavy walking through the snow.

I see a shadow, a silhouette in middle of the storm, among the trees.

He holds two short blades.
A chain shirt armor.
Green and silver tabard.

The tip of his blades dripping blood.

It is me.

"I have tried so many times... Vaeldian." He says toward me.

"What will it take? Tell me."
He turns toward me, there is blood on his face, like tears coming out of his eyes.

"What do you mean?" I reply.

"What will it take for you to give up?
You have seen the twisted heresies of your so called faith.
You have seen the power of the Mists of Death.
You have seen how frail your friends are, how frail -you- are."

He starts walking toward me.

"Yet, you persist, you grow bonds.
What are you doing? You never truly needed anybody.
They are liability, did you see how easily that vampire turned them against you?
You need no one, Vaeldian, you are carrying weight that you do not need."

He is now at an arm lenght from me.

He smirks, but there is also pity in his eyes.

"I have seen how you fought against that thing, impressive.
But I don't think that anybody truly helped you.
Did you even see or feel Ezra anywhere?
I certainly did not. I thought you were better than this."

He is pointing a blade at me, to my throat.

"Let them all go Vaeldian, do what you wanted to do the first day you arrived in Barovia.
Walk back into the Mists and die... or join them.
The Mists of Death's power looks quite real to me.
Who knows... you might even enjoy being a vampire."

His smirk widened revealing the canines of a vampire.

"Do it before your mind will be so broken we will not even be able to talk anymore.
Oh my... I miss you already..."

He started laughing.

I wake up suddenly, shattered glass around me.
This is the bedroom in the Rectory.

Did I just throw a glass to the wall in my sleep?

What is... going on...?
« Last Edit: July 30, 2020, 09:40:59 AM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #17 on: August 03, 2020, 09:27:23 AM »
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I see the Maer Dualdon from the mountain.
The light of the sunset painting the scenery before me.
There is a woman, sitting on my usual spot.

"Come sit with me." She spoke to me with a gentle voice.

I walk next to her and sit on the rock.
Black haired, blue eyes, pale skin.
She reminds me of myself.

She looks toward me and smiles.
"Oh my... such a handsome man you have become, my son."
She lays her hand on my cheek.

I feel something growing in me.
I want to cry and embrace her.
"...Mother...?"

She moves closer to kiss my forehead.
"What horrors you are going through..."
Her arms open, inviting me in to embrace her.

I drop in her arms, my own arms around her.
And I start to cry, cry on her shoulder.
I cannot speak, I just want to cry.

She whispers in my ear.
"I am proud of you, your brother is proud of you too."
She slowly caresses my back.

"Bring it all out... you have gone through so much, my son.
And yet, you keep walking, you keep risking your life.
You have thought about giving up so many times, but you didn't."


I am sobbing but I find a moment to reply.
"What have I accomplished though? It feels like what I do changes nothing."
I slowly recompose myself.

"What have you-...?"
She laughs for a few moments.

"Vael...! Have you even stopped to think what you do every day?
You fight horrors, defend others, risk your own life to fight tainted beasts and monsters.
Do you not see how noble of a soul it takes to do this -every day-?"


"I... I don't think..."

She shakes her head with a smile.
"You listen to me, you have the soul of a hero.
You should stop thinking about what you fail at.
Look more toward what you have accomplished."


She sighs then smirks.
"Your brothers and sisters trust you.
You are an exceptional fighter.
You even have a woman that loves you."


"But..."

She makes a somewhat bothered face.
"Would you please stop?
There will always be Legion Vael, what do you want to do to feel happy?
Save the world by yourself? My son is not that stupid, is he?
You are doing fine."


"Thank you..."

She smiles and kisses my cheek.
"Now go and please try to be more optimistic.
Do not fear the darkness, even the shadows hiding in your own nightmares.
You are strong enough to cast them aside."


In a blink of an eye, she is not there anymore.

"Mom...?"

I wake up at the rectory.
This time, I feel relaxed.
I feel comfort.

Thank you, mother.
« Last Edit: August 03, 2020, 09:34:40 AM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2020, 09:17:25 AM »
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He is there in front of me.
A wooden stake piercing through his hearth.
I can hear him screaming in pain.

I am losing conscience of the others around me.
It is just me, and his glowing red eyes.
His face writhing in pain.

I feel nothing.
No...
I do feel something.

That voice in my head.
"Remember how he looked at her.
How he spoke of her.
What he did to her."


I am clenching my teeth.
My fists closing around the handles of my swords.
My breath becomes slower, heavier.

"You want to hear him screaming forever,
You want to know he will be screaming forever,
Do not fear this emotion, Vaeldian, it will make you stronger."


No this is wrong.
I ask the others to end this quick.
I cannot feel this emotion.

His head falls off.
I stare into his eyes.
He is gone.

"You wanted to hear him more, didn't you?
What a shame that he died without a proper fight.
Perhaps he did not suffer enough."


"Stop..."
I whisper to myself.
Giles is carrying the body outside.

"Let's open a way for the others, Mirhi."
I call her out to follow me.
I need to be focused.

You are a Templar, Vaeldian.
You will not fall for this.
You  are better than this.

You have won, the Duke is gone.

There is no room for your downfall.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2020, 09:20:52 AM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #19 on: August 09, 2020, 03:43:18 PM »
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"FALL BACK!"
Giles shouts next to me as we fight the frozen corpses.

I am running.
I can outrun them.
That's not enough.

I hear Mirhi's steps.
She is running as well.
She is not fast enough.

They will get her...!

I have to stop and help her.
I cannot leave.
I hear her... they are hurting her...



A voice in my head, imposing.

I feel nothing.
It's all blurry.
Muffled sounds.

I am covered in blood but I don't feel pain.
I fought and ran for hours but I am not tired.
I left my love dying but I feel nothing.

I outran my enemies and found shelter outside.
I feel nothing but intent.
There is nothing else but me and my goal.

I have to save them.

I rest in the middle of a winter storm.

I am ready to get back in there.
I step back in the cave.
The grip on my blades is loose, relaxed.

I hear them walking toward me, those monsters.



The imposing voice in my head again.

They fall, one by one.
Anything happening around me feels fake.
Every sound muffled.

I can only hear my own voice: "Save her."

And so they fall, the cave is silent.
I find them both, Mirhi and Giles.
I use one of those strength potions to carry them outside.

Giles wakes up.
There is no time.
We can't wait to properly recover.

I need his help to bring her back to the city.

Giles says something to me.
I think I replied but I'm not really hearing it.
We have to move on.

Wolves and crag cats trying to stop us.
I slice through them.
I have no time to be careful or worried.

The potion fades.
I feel the weight on me suddenly.
I barely keep myself standing.



That voice again.
I drink another potion.
I have many.

And I keep walking down the mountain.

Giles stops me.
I think he is worried about me.
I don't know what I replied.

I need to keep walking.

The potion fades.
I drink another.
And another.

I see nothing but the horizon as it slowly shows the silhouette of Vallaki's city walls.

We walk past the gates.
We walk inside the Refuge.
I drop her body before the Sentire.

The potion fades.

And it all goes blank...
« Last Edit: August 09, 2020, 04:21:34 PM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #20 on: August 22, 2020, 09:06:03 AM »
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I am walking through a hallway.
It's dark, I carry a torch with me.
I can hear the sound of my steps echoing.

It feels like a maze.
Turns, crossroads, stairs.
I feel lost, no sign of an exit.

"And so you are back here, back to me."
The voice, the one that sounds like mine.
It echoes around myself, I feel it's close.

"Another failure, another chance for you to fail again.
I think I understand now, why you seek structure.
Why you seek oaths and restrictions, Vaeldian."


I look around, moving the torch, but no one is there.
Just darkness, silence, and walls.
But I know there is someone else.

"That's your way to restrain yourself.
Restrain, so you would not succumb to your self destructive nature.
Think about it, for real, think about your life."


I start going through past memories.
I think, and... he is right.

"Every time you have looked for someone or something,
To keep you from endangering yourself.
It's in your own nature, what have you done this time?"


The voice sighs and continues.

"You challenged a wererat pack leader, and almost died.
You threatened a member of a Lolthite cult.
You can't resist making yourself a target, can't you?"


Silence, I look around, still nothing.
Then he appears, an exact copy of myself.
Just before my eyes.

"You are stupid, Vaeldian.
You are a failure.
You will hurt everyone around you, with your stupidity."


"No..." I step back from him.

"Let me take control, Vaeldian.
I am resolute, smart, capable.
Everything you want to be."


He steps closer and closer.

"You need no Ezra.
You need no Love.
You need nothing but me."


He extends his arm toward me.

"Let... me... take... control...!"

"NO!" I throw the torch at him.

I wake up, I am in the Rectory.

It has been a while since my last nightmare.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2020, 01:55:35 PM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #21 on: September 02, 2020, 08:37:00 AM »
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I couldn't sleep that night.
That voice in my ears even when I am awake.
I sit on the bed, my mind is weak.

"You are powerless Vaeldian!
There is no way out of this!"


I glances toward the Holy Symbol on the table.
I take it into my hands and walk down the stairs.
I open the door to the Archives.

"It's futile to resist... what are you trying to do now?"

I search among the papers and books.
There must be something.
I don't want to surrender my mind.

"Why so much resistance?"

And there I see it.
The book of Exorcisms.
I suppose I have nothing else left.

I hear the voice laughing. "Is that what you want to do? Oh please..."

I go through the pages quickly.
My eyes moving through the letters.
The prayer of Exorcism.

"Repel, O Ezra, this Servant of The Legions...
Dispel such fallacies from this unholy form...
I invoke Your Name to repel this abomination...
Not by my strength, but by Yours...
Guardian Of The Mists, let this Heresy be ended..."


"You cant get rid of me, Vaeldian, stop this nonsense."

Nothing happened, but this can't be it.
I must have done something wrong.
I pour holy water on my face and keep the symbol close to my heart.

"Repel, O Ezra, this Servant of The Legions...!
Dispel such fallacies from this unholy form...!
I invoke Your Name to repel this abomination...!
Not by my strength, but by Yours...!
Guardian Of The Mists, let this Heresy be ended...!"


Nothing. "Dont make a fool of yourself, she is not here to save you, you are worthless."

No, this can't be it.
I have enough of hearing this.
This voice will mock me no more.

I am a loyal servant of the Church.
I am a protector of Her Flock.
I am one of Her Faithful.

I am NOT... worthless...!

"Repel, O Ezra, this Servant of The Legions!
Dispel such fallacies from this unholy form!
I invoke Your Name to repel this abomination!
Not by my strength, but by Yours!
Guardian Of The Mists, LET THIS HERESY BE ENDED!"


I open my eyes.
I catch my breath.
I look around.

Silence.

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #22 on: September 23, 2020, 01:29:30 PM »
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I sit in the Refuge of the Fifth Light.
I am reading prayers and rituals.
Books piled next to me, on my left.

I dont think I have slept properly in a few days.
I have books to go through, I need to catch up.
I cant really take a break.

I need to be the best Anchorite I possibly can.
I already start at a disadvantage.
But I know that this is the role I am meant to play.

I am going through the Revelations yet another time.
I hear a voice I havent heard in a long time now.
My body becomes suddenly tense.

"Only then did she see the wickedness in the mortals' hearts.
Only then did she see that the mortals she sought to protect and the Legion of the Night were one and the same.
Only then could she see the foulness of their hidden sins."


"I thought I got rid of you." I answered.

"You cannot bid Me enter, yet I cannot turn away." He answered.
He is sitting next to me, the other me.
A wicked grin on his face.

"You think you'll get through me quoting the scriptures like that?"

"Aren't those the pillars of your faith...?
You heard me, you know the scriptures.
Ezra's sacrifice was futile, no one is worth saving, not even you."

He says with a mocking tone.

"It's not like that..."

"Is it not? It's in the fourth revelation.
The bloody wench gave herself to the Mists for nothing.
Everybody is tainted, and the world is doomed to end soon."


"It's more complicated than that...
You are just a being, trying to get in my head.
You want to see me fail, and fall."


"No... I am already in your head, I am you.
I am the doubts you refuse to look at.
I am the taint that Ezra saw in everyone."


I stood up, ready to pronounce the prayer of exorcism again.
I just want to free my head from this nonsense.
The sooner the better.

"These doubts are yours, Vaeldian.
And this is why you'll fail your trial.
You will die in the Mists, because you are not truly faithful."


I start pronouncing the prayer, trying to ignore his words.

"You dont know what it means to be faithful.
You never had a clue in your life.
Cease before it's too late."


"...Blessed be your name! Amen...!"
I finish pronouncing the prayer.
I look around, I am alone in the Refuge.

It's over.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 11:45:55 AM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #23 on: October 03, 2020, 12:43:20 PM »
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I am on the northern shore of lake Zarovich.
I am sitting on a rock, thinking, meditating.
I can see Vallaki from here.

I always find places that remind me of Targos.
I never really stopped to think about why.
I should hate that town.

"You should not deny your past."

"Mother...?"

I see her sitting next to me.
She tilts her head slightly and smiles.
She truly resembles me.

"Do not hate what happened to you, do not try to ignore it, my son.
You are the result of all the bad and good things that you experienced.
Denying your past would be like denying yourself."


"And what if I want to deny myself?"

"Why would you? You are too strict with yourself.
Why can't you just accept your flaws?
You concentrate too much on showing this ideal perfect self.
You are not perfect Vael, and that is absolutely fine."


"What should I do? I can't show my insecurities, I can't let others see myself as weak."

"Well, maybe not anyone, but some.
Eventually this mask you have on you will crack.
You must take that mask off willingly or it will break when you are not ready for it."


"That is not easy to do, especially for me."

"Oh, I never said it was going to be easy, but I know that you can do that.
You should start by forgiving you father, he is gone, he can't hurt you anymore."


"No... I can't forgive him... you know that's impossible."

"You will have to, there can't be a new beginning without accepting your past."

"No... mother this is too much... mother? Mother?!"

I wake up in the Refuge of the Fifth Light, she is gone.

Another day begins.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2020, 01:19:11 PM by Eien »

Eien

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Re: Vaeldian - Memories of a Stranded Soul
« Reply #24 on: October 19, 2020, 10:12:46 AM »
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//OOC: The following bio post is very spoilery about the character's background, so read at your own risk!

Spoiler: show
I see the door of my old home in Targos.
The snow is slowly falling on me.
I look at the door, I still feel uneasy.

"You are ready, my son."
A woman is next to me.
She lays a hand on my shoulder.

"Mother..."

"You are ready to leave all this behind your back.
Go in there and leave it all behind.
I love you, my boy."


I open the door.
My father is sitting on a chair.
Right next to the fireplace.

My heart starts beating rapidly.
It is fear, anger... sadness.
But he seems different, his expression.

"There is no atonement for what I did." He says.

"No there is not."

"I was supposed to be your father.
I became your nightmares, your torturer.
I could not love you and your brother."


"Why?! What did we ever do to you?!"

"You? Nothing.
You boys reminded me of her.
Just seeing your faces did, I could not bear it."


"This is no valid reason to-...!"

"It is not. There was not, and there wont ever be a valid reason to justify my sins.
But you have to let me go... perhaps I cannot ask for forgiveness...
But I can ask you not to torture yourself further, because of me."


"You died a meaningless death, you never paid for your actions."

"Such is life, my son, not always a life ends with meaning.
Not always a sinful soul finds retribution.
Not always it plays as we want it."


"So what am I supposed to do?"

"Let go, think of your future.
Unlike me you have the strength to do it.
Forget me if you can."


"I suppose I can try."

He bitterly smiles at me and sits back on the chair.
Someone is pulling my tabard, behind me.
I turn, I see my brother Ailen.

"I don't regret standing up for you.
Your actions never killed me.
His actions did."


"I could have done something."

"We both could have done so many different things.
But what is done is done.
The Grand Scheme is it? Isn't it what they teach you now?"


"Hmpf... wiser than me, as always."

"The wise part has always been me." He smiles.

I bend my legs to go down and hug him with all my strength.
I wake up relaxed, though with the bitterness that he is gone, and he will be gone forever.
But I cannot let that stop me.

I am worthy now, I cannot keep these chains.
« Last Edit: October 19, 2020, 10:17:32 AM by Eien »