Tristan does not keep a journal. What is written here are his thoughts and songs as they are written on his heart.
Marceline
You robbed me when we met, Marceline;
Disarmed me with your smile,
Disrobed me with your eyes,
Etched your name on my heart, Marceline!
Your parents disapproved, but you saw something in me, too -
You believed in me, oh Marceline.
I long for your touch, oh Marceline;
Your cries of delight,
The glow of candlelight,
As it played on your skin, Marceline!
I played you joyful songs, before it all went wrong -
I curse my unbound tongue, oh Marceline.
Not all enjoyed my music, Marceline;
All parody requires,
A subject of satire,
I chose the wrong man, Marceline!
He took it as a sleight, and then he took my sight,
With a blinding arcane light, oh Marceline...
I couldn't see your face, my Marceline;
But it wasn't hard to tell,
That life was hell,
You resented me, oh Marceline!
From a lover to a child, my new dependence you reviled,
What sort of wretched man am I, oh Marceline?
You went and played away, Marceline,
Sought a better man than me,
One who could see,
His cigar smoke on your breath, Marceline!
I didn't care when you came home, but now I am alone.
You washed up with the sea foam, Marceline...
They brought me to the morgue, Marceline;
Set my fingers on your face,
Every line and mark to trace,
I knew that it was you, oh Marceline!
If you hadn't been alone, if you had just stayed home...
I couldn't keep you safe from harm, Marceline.
I whisper your name, oh Marceline;
I know you are a dream,
When I'm dreaming, I can see,
I close my eyes to see you, Marceline!
Wish and memory conspire, they set my heart on fire,
I reach for you, the dream expires, Marceline...
Your memory fades, oh Marceline.
Your face I see through haze,
As though cloaked in holy rays,
I search the heavens for you, Marceline!
Every inch of you I knew, your body's fading too,
Each time I search, you've changed, my Marceline...
How long has it been, oh Marceline;
My days are so dour,
Each miserable hour,
Every minute unseen, oh Marceline!
I'm alone in my head, saying prayers for the dead,
I would go in your stead,
Marceline.