The Purest of My Heart's Decisions - Ezrite Natalia Lazarescu

[Sammylix]

An entry is penned, dated as such

Below I shall detail relevant entries as my experiences grow

[Sammylix]

The Mists Approach

The Toret has instructed that my trial is imminent. All that can be taught is taught, much that can be trained has been trained. I will be expected to enter the mists, bound and led only by my faith, and resist temptation and deceit by the hands of the Mists of Death. They will pull, they will twist, but should my faith remain staunch, the only true figure shall be Our Sainted Mother. With her as my guide, whatever is shown by the Mists will surely only be seen as deception. Deep in my heart I know that should she show me something, I will know. Should the mists part, I will know it is her my guide.

The entry ends here.

[Sammylix]

The weight of a simple human inclination disquiets me everyday.

In my adolescent years it began with the night's vigil; the nights in which I sauntered throughout the countryside, bound and determined to overcome that voice in the back of my head telling me to fear Old Noapte. In the beginning success seemed it would never appear; I'd finally mustered the courage to leave the walls, but I could never bring myself to go far enough that I would truly be in harm's way. Is it truly wrong to accept that fear is natural, a form of self-preservation? To fear the unknown is wise to some, and cowardly to others. Quite truly this fear haunts me every night, even if I am adamant on telling others it is not so. Perhaps it is this fear that allows me the courage to stand vigil in Ezra's name each night, or perhaps there's seraphic forces at play. Whatever the case may be, my faith shall be my rowman.

[Sammylix]

Yesterday I inched closer to the darkness in my heart. I let hate into my heart; the numbing, unprejudiced hate a child would have to a thieving bully. What is happening to me?

The entry ends here.