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Author Topic: The Chronicles of Skip and Finch  (Read 1401 times)


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The Chronicles of Skip and Finch
« on: July 09, 2019, 11:22:37 PM »
A short story is left at the firesides of inns about Vallaki.

The Chronicles of Skip and Finch

Based on a true story.

Presented for the amusement of the children of Vallaki.

Katja Vinter

"They're inside that room" said Skip, his voice muffled by his skull mask. "Good. You remember your lines?" Finch also wore a skull mask, and matching set of spiky robes. "Of course I remember my lines, Finch. This isn't going to be like that time with the Garda." There was a defensive and fearful note to Skip's tone, neither of them wished to go up against the likes of Barovia's finest again. "Do they even know where The Snarin is?" he added after a moment. Finch huffed, "I don't know, probably? It's that or we go back to checking under rocks." "Alright, Finch, let's do it." Finch held up his skeletal hand and Skip high fived it. The two vrolocks were ready. Skip pushed open the door while Finch crawled into the room. "Well... Well..." Skip put on his best necromancer voice as he walked into the room, pausing only a moment to release the shoulder spike of his robe as it caught in the doorway.

The room had a number of adventurers in it. They'd just finished tending to their injuries. Skip recognised none of them. They'd clearly not noticed the ever crafty Finch as he crawled behind several rocks at the back of the room. Just as planned. The adventurers looked scared. Delicious. Skip raised his arms in what he hoped was a menacing manner. "I'm here for one thing and you will tell me..." He paused for dramatic effect, quickly checking the lines he'd written on his arm earlier. "Or die." He did his evil smile, just like his elocution instructor had taught him, forgetting that it couldn't be seen through his mask. "What is it then?" one of the adventurers called out nervously.

"Where is the one called Snarin?" Skip finally lowered his arm. The adventurers' fear turned to confusion. "What's a Snarin?" one called out. "/The/ Snarin" Skip corrected. "The braker of deals. With The Snarin in our hands every deal can be braked! Society will fall apart! Everyone will know that Skip and Finch are the most Evil necromancers there ever were." The adventurers didn't look impressed. Fortunately, Finch had remembered his drama lessons. He got up from behind the stones, careful not to trip on his robe, then jumped out of his hiding place. "That's right, FOOLS, there were two of us all along." He gave his most evil grin, also forgetting that his skull mask hid it."I know we said we only wanted one thing..." Finch paused for dramatic effect, Skip gave him a reassuring thumbs up. Irritatingly, one of the adventurers at the back called out; "It's pronounced 'breaker'." Skip glared at her extra hard, she shrugged awkwardly. "It just sounds really bad when-" Finch cut her off with a shout; "SILENCE fool."

Skip was so caught up in his glaring that he didn't notice the door open behind him, or the adventurers beginning to tip toe past him out. "I know we said we were only here for ONE thing..." Finch got back into his monologue. "But we're EVIL so if you don't know where The Snarin is we're going to do the EVILIST things to you." By now only one adventurer was left in the room. "Why, though? What's your goal here?" she enquired. Skip scowled. This was turning into that night with the Garda all over again. "You could never understand, little one." Finch replied, apparently unbothered by the escape of the other adventurers. "You see we're evil vampire necromancers!" Finch and Skip both raised their hands and wiggled their fingers as Finch said this, just like they'd practiced.

The pair then did their best villainous laughs. By the time they opened their eyes, the last adventurer was gone. "BY ALL THAT IS EVIL, HOW DID YOU LET THEM ESCAPE US SKIP?!" Finch jumped up and down in anger, shaking his fists. "It's fine, Finch" replied Skip, unable to keep the smugness out of his tone. "You see I closed the door so they're still in he-" His tone turned to embarrassment as he turned to see the door open. "Well. It's day now so we can't follow them. I suppose we should go to our torpor?" Finch shook his head. "We don't need to bother with that, idiot. That's for weak vrolocks." Skip sighed. He was very tired. Tired and hungry. But once The Snarin was found it'd all be worth it.

"We'll get them next time" said Finch. Skip nodded, remembering to turn a little to stop his shoulder spikes getting caught on the doorway.

"Next time for sure. "