*I met a man today, he was odd, gruff, with a voice that screams “i've been around awhile,'' Gave me some advice about my “habits” he said that “What you want can't be forced, it happens naturally” However, What I want is lost…. And the only thing that I would wish instead comes with training, experience, and gold. For someone who “Has been around” the old salt sure as hell aint knowin shite, least o’ all about me. He did give me some hints on some acidic globs and greater vampires…. So he may know a thing or two? Time will tell.
*I met a man and his sister in the temple today, seems his sister in interested in making blades, I had knowledge of this, thanks to another who educated me as to how to acquire copper weapons for the fey in the Sullen woods. I suppose it was only "right" to pass the info on and teach them what I could, besides maybe ill get a free sword out of the deal?
*The days fly, My strength grows, as does my reputation for swinging this blade. I've saved countless people, killed numerous monsters, completed hundreds of bounties and for what?.... It all feels so pointless. I met some folk that I don't want to cleave in half for a change, and others I would die for. It is an odd feeling, Is this what comradery is?
*Met a Hin and Nastia on the road today- said they were looking into the ruins in the northern mountains they looked beat up. So I decided to take a look, all I found where weak enemies and a severe distaste for barovia- I used to like coming here, now it feels a waste of my time. This land has little more to offer me… Yet it seems they were thankful- I guess that makes it worth it right?
*Seems some folk were trapped under the old orphanage…. Again into the fray I went, two corpses brought back from the dead and my coin pouch is lighter. The old “me” would have left them to rot...
*My boredom and distaste for this land continues to grow, I sprint through everything in barovia as if I am a hot knife through butter- And yet…. Isn't this what I wanted? Power…. With all of what I have gained, all I have done….. I feel dead- Empty- I have countless people who would gladly take my blade- and yet I feel “alone”
*I struggle to understand exactly what i'm doing here, why I continue doing what I do.. Its as if I go through the motions out of “habit” more than “want” yet here I am.
*I have spoken to many- None can give me the answers I seek, they speak of perseverance and purpose as if it is to clearly laid bare for one such as I. My mind is fogged my vision dimmed and yet I simply keep swinging in the dark hoping something hits…..
*Met with that Salt again… He was right…. This entire time… I have found power without purpose and have nothing to do with it. Was that what he meant all this time? Was he referring to “purpose” from the beginning? Either way- I can’t force what I want. He says it's about those you help on the way, about those ya fight for- Shite iffin tha’s it ive fought fer alot o’ folk.
*With all my supposed power and strength, all I can see is weakness. I have searched for divine help- all I find is silence, I have searched for demonic assistance- again silence. Every route every potential turn is blocked, this path I travel is one that wears on me, and all I find is anger and hate. for what I am- What I will become-
*An old friend has gotten themselves in trouble again… just after she lectured me! Seems she was killed around barovia…. I have taken a trip with Lance to find her, as suspect nothing will become of it. I will wait for the proper channels to be taken… if that doesn't work- I don't want to think about it, I'll head back and search for her…. Its all I can think about now…. Any thing else will have to wait- I have to find her…..
*Lance’s investigation was for nothing…. I have searched barovia night and day… Nothing…. I am angry… all this work… all this time…. Nothing… no clue no evidence… she just disappeared off the street at night…. I have to keep trying.
*In my search for Avana I met a traveler in the fisherman lodge, she was taking shelter from the night. I cleaved a path back to the vistani camp, odd she seemed local.
*“Numb” is all I feel now…. She is gone- I should accept that. But I can't… I just have to try.
*Met a strange “chef” on the road today, Was trying to rob a traveler I suppose…. At the sight of me it seemed to have fled under invisibility. How odd?
*I took a walk through Valaki today, seems a guard took issue with my blade… Claimed it magical. Said it was “vraja” I've seen too many good folk hung or worse for the accusation… “Take me in” Ha! More like make me a plaything till they kill me. A shame he is in one of my traveling bags now. He could have just let me walk away. I warned the fool not to make an enemy of me…. Now getting Avana back will be.... Troublesome.