The Elven Swordman

[Eien]

The Arrival


They told me it was fate, I just think it's bad luck or some sort of joke from a twisted god.
My employer asked me to escort some merchants back to Waterdeep, I didn't even have the time to arrive, the mist took me before that while traveling alone in the woods.

Suddenly I'm in a new world filled with darkness, monsters and people that barely know what an elf is. And I'm trapped, there is no way back apparently, many before me have tried without success, so now what? I have to start a new life in this place, I was literally attacked by a werewolf inside the inn on my second night, this place is wild and bloodthirsty.

I saw a man crushing his hammer on a poor dwarf head for pure hatred, pure and simple racism, some of them in the city would even talk to me because of my heritage.
Does fate really wants to give me all this after all that I have endured?

Fate is just evil, like most of things, no matter how hard I hope in a better society it just can't happen, especially in this place.

Outlanders, like me now, some of them are decent people. It's hard to live normally being one, most of us have to accept dangerous jobs and the like to earn little money.
I've been here for just a few days, will I really have to spend the rest of my life in this place?

Luckily the darkness of this place still allows for some light to shine, I met people that I hope to work with again, like a young elven knight and her friend, young as well but wizard I think their names were Bardia and Astra?

But the person I am going to spend the most of my time will be Valra.
She is some kind of wizard, still learning the ropes, I don't know why exactly myself but I just need to protect her. Maybe because of her innonence and joy, I want that to remain intact in a world such as this. She reminds me of how I used to be before everything changed, before that day, before everything was ruined and torn apart.

I started to forget how I was before losing everyhing.
Am I even myself now, or a ghost of who I was before?

She said she is going to try to make me feel better, I sincerely hope she can do that.

[Eien]

The Early Days

Let's kill some undead.

Let's raid a bandit hideout.

Let's hunt monsters for coins.

Hit them, hit them again, hit them until they're all on the ground.

Rest and do it again, and again.

Why am I risking my life? Why do I not care? There are safer ways to make coins.
There is no good or bad thoughts when I'm fighting, only me and the thrill of rising victorious. What am I becoming?
I always tried to avoid violence if not necessary.
And than she is there again, and I'm not doing it, I'm not killing. I'm talking and making jokes, meeting new people, talking about my past, dancing by a fire in the night.
And the killing is like it never happened, what is this world doing to me?

This world is changing me, I never killed like this and at the same time I never danced like tonight.
Even if I know I can't go back I still think about the past, what would have happened if I didn't lose you Lin.
Is it even fair for me to start a new life? I'm not even supposed to be alive.

I feel guilty to feel such new emotions, I should be dead and yet I'm starting to feel so alive.

I feel scared because I could lose the little I have now any moment.

I feel confused, not knowing what my place is in this world apart from shielding her.

That's probably why I'm a fighter, I hurt myself when I think too much.

[Eien]

Understanding Emotions

The moment we walked into Degannwy it was all different.

My swords are resting, for many days I had no reason to use them, and it feels new.
This place, this people, is affecting me.

Stories about love and tragedy, building friendships around the light of a campfire.
Positive energy surrounding me, a woman finding hers long lost love, the joy... the tears.

Being here makes me feel like there is room for hope and a better future.
And it grows in me, I look at your pendant Lin, and I feel different.

I made a decision that I'm not regretting, I look at your pendant and I don't feel guilty.
I made a decision that is going to change my life here, and I feel no fear within me.
I made a decision that will put my emotions back on stage, and I feel anticipation.

I felt imprisoned in a dark room and somehow this day I broke the chains with an energy I thought lost.
The light is shining on my face, it's warmth like water in the desert.
And if I will be burned by it, I will not regret the chance to feel it again.

I don't know what the future will bring, now I only know that I need all this, and I will protect it no matter the cost.
Many challenges I have endured, probably I'm readier now than I ever was in the past.

I want you, fate, to keep shining this light on me.

Please.

[Eien]

To Hell and back.

And I woke up, again.

I couldn't see it at first, my eyes covered with mud and blood, her body a few feets away from me.

The wolves were gone.

The moment I saw her my wounds went silent, only two words started screaming in my head:

"Save her."

I took her back to the temple, I don't even know myself how I was able to, but I made it.

And she is breathing again, walking, also crying.
And that's all I needed.
And it was my fault.

I'm not letting this happen ever again, I can't fall in hell another time.

I should have said no, we are not going.
I should have said run, run for your life.
I should have been able to defeat those worgs.

I did nothing of the sort, I just failed, in silence and she was broken by it.

What am I doing? Do I even think before making decisions anymore?
I need to be better, mind and body, I need to grow.
I need to jump over the pit.
I need to find confidence and security in my skills.

There will be time, I'll help her recover for now.
She suffered greatly.

And the thought that I could stop all of this is eating me from the inside.