Author Topic: Delivering a letter under the door of 'Les Erudites Société'  (Read 1004 times)

UilliamNebel

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Delivering a letter under the door of 'Les Erudites Société'
« on: January 07, 2019, 06:34:40 PM »
Thaddeus Sexton approaches, and slides under the front door, a plain envelope marked 'For the consideration of les Erudites Société ', containing the following document written out in Darkonese, with careful penmanship and containing a brief note on the back that reads in High Mordentish 'If found acceptable, I can be reached at the Sisters of Compassion Hospice in the Ouvrier Quartier where Sister Klara precides, - Thaddeus Sexton.'

"On the Consequences of a Dark Shadow: The Familiar of Unlike Morals & the Self.

As of what specific circumstances a practitioner of the arcane may call for a familiar, and summon forth an entity of unlike morality to themselves, I do not intend to write of here as such is beyond my own ability to present quantitative evidence of. I can only state the facts, that myself, and the being I am joined to, that share a complete empathetic bond with, are yet of quite different moral predisposition.

Where I stand, on basis of an ethical outlook, such as to who has a right to rule, what authority can one have over another, etc, I do believe myself and my familiar are of like mind, in that we see a ‘middle way’, in practice of a balance, that fits the specific situational circumstances. We both I would say do not endorse either rigid and ordered structures of ethics, or anarchy on the other extreme.

The single most pressing state of sharing such a link are twofold. First, is both an increased awareness of those desires you repress and do not give voice to, and now having that voice emerge despite yourself within the inner sanctuary of your mind. This cannot be understated, your thoughts, and self perception are no longer an arbitrary experience based of your own will to construct them. Upon taking such a being as your familiar, a consent is given for an external consciousness to gain unfettered access to emotional and mental states within thyself. The second, you are now also subject to the feedback of that exterior entity. The doubts, desires, fears, hate, none of it is your own to deal with internally anymore, they are as much the familiars to assess, comment, critique, and act upon, no matter how much you dare wish not to experience them.

If such a state can be compared to any other experience of the human mind that scholars have previously identified as a phenomenon, it would surely be labeled a lunacy, but not of mental defect, instead empathetic crisis.

The most primal, direct experience of this joining, and its consequences is when I and my familiar are engaged in a hunt of a stag. Yes, we are both full of the vigor and drive to bring the animal down for a substance and gain of its resources. But such is where our mutuality ends. Where I observe, and empathize with the prey’s flight and panic, wishing to complete the task of its death with as little glorification of its slaughter, and respect for its life as circumstance allows, such is not the case of my familiar. I am opened to its perception, as it is mine. There is a cold joy in the chase, a thrill at the creature’s realization of its circumstance, and amusement at its efforts to prolong its life. And worst a perverse, well to myself, rush of intoxicating power and satisfaction with bringing it down and tearing the life from it.

It is an alien existence to be one in heart with a surest predator, as it bask in the sensation of bathing under the lunar light, with blood like black across its fur in the night, as it licks its claws clean of its preys flesh and fluid while still sitting at the animals head and keeping eye contact with it, as downed stag labors to draw its last breath. There is far more horror it seems to unwilling be channeled the experience of a ‘monster’ engaged in the art of its butchery, then there is in being a sympathetic bystander to such whole callousness.

And yet, through all, I and that monster are closest friends so dear to one another. It is a challenging, often emotionally tiring, work of existing for us both. Where I wish to let matters go, it wishes to plot and repay treachery and slight, real or imagined. Where I seek to address suffering, and lessen it, it sees fool's errand in the face of an indifferent existence. Where I would wish to lift one afflicted a curse and remorseful of its bearing, by use of the familiars innate peculiarities. The familiar yearns to look in the eyes of those that have crossed it, and channel a Hellish hate, overwhelming to myself, out as an affliction to make all their days toil and misery. It is a trying push and pull to coexist, one with many emotional casualties, best suffered alone and unexpressed, even with those who also endure such a peculiar bond.

I hope, despite being wholly my own anecdotes of such, that this work has maybe shed some light on the nature of certain relationships between arcane practitioners and their familiars for the uninitiated, that arise when person and beast are not of like morality. And may help to explain why some seem to suffer from some manner of emotional crisis, indeed even insanity, for which no evident cause may be observed.
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