I look back on this now and it is so faint I can barely recognize it. I was dreaming of a woman, bedine? Or was it something out of Har Akir? This muddled existence within the Mists is clouding my mind. I have been so dark of mood, so far from happiness. Even with my love beside me, I feel lost. I gave up alcohol, only to find opium. But the opium dream is a kinder sort than my bottomless self pity with the flask. Am I here? Is this me dreaming, or am I being dreamt?
