Last night I had by chance gazed into the eyes of the deathsinger, and she was able to dominate me.
I initially felt violated, feeling like I had been had been used by her, until I realized that, thankfully, I really hadn't done anything that I should be angered about. I am choosing to make my.. displeasure in being dominated like this funneled into my displeasure at my forgetfulness in switching out my gauntlets, and towards an extreme dislike in this woman's plans.
Aiden tells me she is sacrificing people, and was planning to sacrifice me, to a demon of some kind. This angers me to no end, as in the case of people like Rhea at least they have the perception that they are trying to do something good. This woman instead is playing with demons that I wouldnt be suprised if she doesnt understand, and even then, to be overly pragmatic, to make ally with a demon would only paint a larger target on her back. Either way, this woman is doing evil actions that are not capable of being sorry for, as they are small minded and do not even attempt to change this land.
I remember when I was under, that for whatever reason I was much more casual towards her, talking about her form and clothing and the like. This reminds me of the woman I was years ago, and my deep, yet false connection towards her reminded me of Auhne.
To be honest, this is what upsets me the most, to remember her. I remember our nights in the fields, moving supplies and fighting together. I remember when she had taken a serious injury, and the captain of our rag tag group had allowed me to go with her. I haven't remembered those simple times in so long, i must had blocked them out of me, like a bad dream.
That part of me has died however, killed by either the war itself for my own choices in it, my joining of the Iron Talon doomed me to a path without her or other companionship. I am alone in this land, and the deathsinger has, regardless of if she meant to, forced me to look at the grave of past selves, and I both hate and thank her for that.
I am not as disturbed by the domination that took place at the hands of the deathsinger, that is an easy burden to uphold, as I mearly was ensnared and attempted to be killed. I have fought with that kind of evil before. It is what was brought out of the encounter that upsets me more, but I must resolve to be happy. I am the teacher, I realize, much like Atlas, and much like the Adder that Atlas encountered, I should thank my enemy for helping me realize my faults, and return the wrong back to this she demon.
Oh Auhne, I am only happy that you are safe at home, and not in this hellish land. That you did not succumb to such depths as I, I am only thankful for. .