You have been taken by the Mists

Author Topic: Finding a Cause: Kaine's Dilemma:  (Read 790 times)

Silas Rotleaf

  • Dark Lord
  • *****
  • Posts: 932
  • Space cat!
Finding a Cause: Kaine's Dilemma:
« on: October 09, 2017, 08:27:11 PM »
It helps having something to fight for, some cause to defend or idea you wish to promote. Something to serve that is much larger than yourself.

I thought the love of a woman might be such a cause.
I am told serving a God or Goddess may be such a cause.

Neither of these address the problem completely. It is as slapping on bandages on your wounds without applying rest and compression to the injuries.

Physical pain is easier to tend to than the spiritual and emotional pain. There may be procedures for dealing with the latter two but I don't know what those would entail.
I know that battle and drink don't fix the emptiness. Those provide at best a temporary relief.

Some feel that the attainment of great wealth or an impressive reputation are worthy causes but I feel those are not, they don't make for a complete life either.
What does then? Hmm?

Something *worth* believing in. There is still that rush from staring down a monster and pummeling it and from narrowly avoiding your own death but it increasingly rings hollow.

There can only be so much learning a new technique or discovering some new facts and secrets, unraveling of vexing puzzles and mysteries before one is again presented with the question of why?
What difference does it make? Why do you do it? Why do you risk your own life again and again when you are expendable? You know your life as an outlander does not matter very much individually since there is a constant stream of newcomers sent here by the mists almost daily in all seasons.

The roads could and can be filled with dead outlanders who dared to tempt the night, who questioned the locals and so on. That's not the right way either.
However, I don't think the answer lies in always cowering behind locked closed doors in the evening.

Perhaps though futile it is that search for an answer that is itself a worthy cause.
« Last Edit: October 11, 2017, 04:14:25 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

  • Dark Lord
  • *****
  • Posts: 932
  • Space cat!
Re: Finding a Cause: Kaine's Dilemma:
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2017, 03:33:15 PM »
Spoiler: show
OOC retrospective:
The harder Kaine worked to do the right thing the more doggedly he got berated and laid into daily by the peasants, many of the church parish and the city watch.

He never *Stopped* believing in the Morninglord even when it became increasingly apparent very few people had faith in him.

He was very devoted and doting over his elf bride Tinu whom as a fellow battered and damaged soul they found each other to be kindred spirits despite her being an elf and he Kaine a human.

It bothered him a lot people kept holding him to ludicrous standards he be held responsible for every single thing to come out of anybody else's mouth regarding him at all times and the way people unforgivingly for the most part kept taking it out on him as though he had any sort of say in the matter of what other people should choose to believe and spread about him left the Light carrier troubled.

At his baptism, people were mostly angry he had passed the trials set before him which were afterwards admitted to be exceptionally rigorous. Very few wanted to attend it.
He was trying to talk people into coming to his wedding to Tinu and was for a brief time feeling he had achieved the slightest increment of some respite. The handful of nights they slept leaning in each other's arms over the campfire were possibly the best rest that Kaine the fighter received. The rest of the time was very stressful quite usually.
He didn't like to complain about it but toward the end started snapping irritatedly at the many strangers who would show up at the church's doorstep on days to complain about this strange daring man they had heard of who said something that they feel may have hurt their feelings or been insensitive to their own sacredly held beliefs.

He was growing despondent and kept waiting for something to get better. That something, his marriage and honeymoon to his loving and very protective ranger elf bride - never came. Instead he was arrested, released and arrested again, threatened, paraded through town naked and then banished. He wouldn't as it turns out even get past the edge of the Vallaki border though... As was seen to by a certain unstable serial killer who perhaps mistakenly was proud of himself he had offed a Joe Schmoe who in his (The Harbinger's) mind was supposedly a great hero.

Ironically Kaine was so despised for being for the most part honest about things and refusing to give up hope entirely that grievances filed to the bishop were a regular thing Father Allek and Mother Kali had to get used to fielding volumes of.

Try as the Garda might to dissuade Kaine from behaving in risky ways he just... Kept having illegal things happen to him with a bit more frequency than was okay to be allowed. The only way to stem it was to get rid of him permanently... Or was it?
« Last Edit: December 21, 2017, 04:11:20 PM by Kaine »

Silas Rotleaf

  • Dark Lord
  • *****
  • Posts: 932
  • Space cat!
Re: Finding a Cause: Kaine's Dilemma:
« Reply #2 on: December 29, 2017, 05:06:45 PM »
IC:
I still serve the Morninglord.
I want my bride Tinu to live comfortably with so many of the luxuries and amenities she was denied earlier in life.

Silas Rotleaf

  • Dark Lord
  • *****
  • Posts: 932
  • Space cat!
Re: Finding a Cause: Kaine's Dilemma:
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2018, 11:13:16 PM »
Do I still serve the Morninglord?
Being demoted to janitor I wonder sometimes. Being told by people before repeatedly that everything I did/said was mostly terrible felt bad.

Is that what the New Dawn is about?
I thought it was about opportunities to do better.
Do I believe in the Morninglord? Sure.
Do I think He's gonna help me out? Probably not. No not really.
I don't ask a lot of Him and He doesn't ask a lot from me.

Father Allek told me he believes he met the Morninglord one time during an epiphany and that He seemed as far as gods go like a pretty regular unassuming guy.
I wish I could have some sort of sign that I'm doing the right thing or to reinforce my faith.
It's kinda rough. Just... Even a little sign of some sort.
Maybe the lack of such a sign is a sign. Is it a sign this is the wrong faith for me?
People were critical of me that I didn't have a large wellspring of hope.
Especially when it got beaten out of me.
I still helped people. I'll still say I do it in the name of the Morninglord and what he represents but people don't like it. If they don't like that too bad then.
He hasn't let me down. He just probably wants me to keep doing that work.
Some of the priests might not like it. That's fine.

Tinu dumped me. I'm not sure I can take both the demotion and this...
Spoiler: show
He couldn't.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2018, 10:19:28 PM by Kaine »