The Scarred Priest

[Audric Lacroix]

You grizzled fool. Poor, unfortunate soul.   Here I stand, trying to be more man than machine, yet every single time I find myself lulled into a sense of peace and serenity, the trap is sprung without remorse.  Would these two truly betray us so? Betray the Kinship?  Betray /me/?  LORD, if it is right for you to do so, grant them mercy. .  because for treason, there is none. 

My allies, my very brethren called into question-  The foundation I stand upon shaken, and my heart frustrated.

/WHY!?/

[Audric Lacroix]

"Do not let her control you."

What a peculiar thing to say. There is influence, of that there is no doubt, but that is a path walked both ways. I think that, in some small regard, I have shown them that people like me are not all mindless rabble rousers. I would even be as bold or naive as to say that I consider them both very much to be my friends. The pair of them, I would gladly break bread, share my last tankard, and stand shield to shield with in the end of days. Even so, no matter how strongly forged our bond of trust and cooperation may be,  my divinity and their fortuitous tolerance of it, my powers and presence is something they were warned from childhood to fear.

" I thought that I had been struck dead.I forget that about you, that you are truly terrifying. . Not just all wonderful things, eh?"

Those words will likely rattle around in my birdcage for the foreseeable future. She had asked me to escort her through the village towards the Temple, and I obliged. Such as my luck goes, the very instant I stepped outside with her, we were rushed by three abnormally strong wererats. I underestimated her, because she held her ground rather well- but I acted out of instinct and unto them I spoke the name of the LORD. He responder, with a golden light of faith, and gripped the three blind mice quite still. She froze as well, and I rushed forward to dispatch them properly with Excalibur. The look on her face is seared into my mind's eye- that sheer terror. It was a look that was once my own, when I realized that the scary stories mother's told their children in my world was very much a reality here.

I embody the Holy Spirit as best I can, and act with kindness, compassion, and mercy with wrath as the final recourse, so to be called terrifying was particularly jarring.

I have grown so very much here, but as always, there appears to be plenty left for me to learn.

[Audric Lacroix]

"This is a torch that must never go out."
My dearest Kinship, rag tag band of Brothers and Sisters.

We are two things, always- the very real, feeling, loving, hating people, and the beacons. A tool, fire to ward away darkness and cold.

I set out to provide reenforcements to the Port-Au-Lucine, and I shall do that soon, but some things must make it to paper before what's left of my bravado has expired.

One of our own acting out of sorts, a litany of broken hearts putting on brave faces, and plenty of the darker forces trying to redirect the light and hide themselves.

I keep coming back to thinking of those that have been, those that are, and those that might be

Anya I am sure, now, is dead. One is young and with another who values her little, and another fully beyond reach.

I am eager for the day that I can once again share the man, the story behind the Cross.

I tire of being terrifying.

I tire of putting on a show.

[Audric Lacroix]

"You are already worthy. "

We are far more than our blood- our physical circumstance and creation. If I am not an example of that, I cannot even fathom to understand what would be.  A man without parents, guided by the Church alone- One would think given my upbringing that I would be an abbot.  Secluded, and surrounded by my favorite books- preaching to those whom would listen.

Not that- for now I am free.  I picked up a sword, and forged my own way.

There are two paths in life in regards to our beginnings. We can blame them for the tragedies of our lives, or we can accept and overcome them.

You have done so.

I have done so.

Just because you do not posses the magic I do, does not make you less magical.

[Audric Lacroix]

 

  "You do what is right because it is right. That is a rare, and
precious thing."

The right thing to do is not always easy, and when the stars align poorly it can be the most dangerous or complex thing to do. It could cost you your life.

Was this worth it? The attempt? I would like to think so. To believe so.

 If you have the ability and the knowledge to remove a great and terrible curse, and are provided the opportunity- even to one whom I will eventually cross blades with- could a man of God- a Knight of God truly decline in good faith?

Others have spoken harshly, against me for doing so. Others have shown their support, and admitted they would not have the fortitude to 'treat' an enemy. I do not judge them, no matter their view.

Fighting is not all sword and magic. It can be words- or inner turmoil, and I admit I now experience the latter.

No matter the outcome, the process itself wrenched at my heart. The prayer of Atonement, complex in method and execution, went into effect without being rebuked by the Lord.. She was genuinely contrite, and remorseful.

The ritual also attempts to remove the curse from them by, at best, force. It tries to separate beast from body- and as I have learned- is excruciating. Inadvertently, I tortured them.

I wrote a report on it, and removed it a day later because I cannot find a phrasing I thought appropriate.

The events weigh on me heavily, and I find my shoulders heavy, today.
 

[Audric Lacroix]

I have never felt such a whirlpool of emotions like this- not with such neigh uncontrollable severity. Sorrow, at the loss of a friend.  Confusion on how to address a very dire query.  Frustration-  no-  rage at facing yet another accusation based solely upon falsehood.

My integrity, my honor, my loyalty is something beyond reproach or question. I am honest to a fault, and I am sure that it will be the cause of my end- it certainly is attempting to do a number on my reputation. 

I see you.

I know you. 

I will find you. 

I am coming

[Audric Lacroix]

The black wind begins to blow.

Stand by,
Pending me finishing it, and DM approval, a temporary exit post is coming, until my return late 2019, 2020