[A last letter carefully sealed and delivered to Dorian de Sauvre awaits him.
Dorian,
I regret to inform you that I shall no longer be participating in Dementlieuse life. I wish, though, to explain to you why and I hope that this shall assist you in understanding my life.
I will start at the beginning.
With my particular talents, your great grandmother kept me locked in a room for days on end, despite what my parents said, until I was nearly your age. She found my talents worrying and treated me as if I would be a threat to any that I would encounter. This became paramount after the death of my father. I lost control, utterly. My only escape was Lord Balfour. While he was not a cruel man, he was not caring either. However he did teach me to keep my powers in check. Despite his inconsideration and Melisande's neglect, I thank them both for that.
Melisande, your great-grandmother, became paranoid something would happen to me when she should have worried over my mother. My mothers fragile demeanor and Melisande's brutality saw her sent to Mikki. I still find this a cruel outcome for a horribly grieving woman but she is unable to function independently now after decades in that place. My mama loved your grandfather more than the world. Perhaps more than me. She would have given anything to see him back. Every social event I attended with my mother was an atrocity. She couldn't pretend. She couldn't play the game. She was weak and sad and unable to further the family or the goals that Melisande had set. Once it became clear that my mother would be a burden only, off she was sent to Mikki. There were no questions. Melisande was extremely pragmatic to say the least.
A handful of years after that, I met your father. Dorian, darling, it was love as there is no other. As soon as I saw him, I knew he had my heart. Only one man since has had my heart as your father had mine. I loved him completely. He was kind and loving. He wished to make a difference in the world. There was optimism and hope. I took that inside of me for years and wished to make it more than just me. I wished to make it something the world could love. After his death, I was adrift.
I finished my years of study as Melisande expected, the good girl I was supposed to embody. She allowed me no grieving. When her mind began to take a turn toward the worse, I joined the gendarme. You know the stories there. Yet the stories do not encompass the pure idiocy if my entry into the gendarme. Simply put, it was dumb luck. They didn’t wish a woman to be in the gendarme at the time. The flintlock they provided me backfired twice, harming me greatly each time. I insisted it was to deter me from joining and threatened to sue before they allowed me entry.
When it comes to my time within the gendarmerie, according to the records, I overcame the Dauphin family and the plot against the Council but truthfully it was blind luck. I stumbled into success and was awarded for it. Then I went after Palascu. Truthfully, I am not free of sin there. I knew of Palascu's human trafficking. When I had the opportunity to frame him for crimes, I seized it. His house was aflame and I planted numerous items of necromantic studies throughout his home that I had seized from another investigation. As you know, this did not work out. I often wish that I had let him die due to the problems he has caused you and I. It would have been simpler to say the least. Yet at that point I believed in the ideals your father did. I wished to hope for a good outcome and that Palascu would see the error in his ways. Palascu did not, as we both know, few criminals ever do.
Palascu did not take kindly to this, darling. He sent Black Pieter after me. I was beaten and tortured within an inch of my life. I watched Melisande die over my actions. You were kidnapped and taken away from me.
After Palascu's harassment, I took you away from the city as you recall. We spent a handful of years in absolute joy; at least that is what it was for me. When I arrived back to Port-a-Lucine, having left you in boarding school -- the city was a disaster. I spent much time with Juste Marceaux to see the city returned to order. Despite his marriage, I had nearly fallen in love with him. His ideals and hopes for the city were something I had not seen since your father. It gave me hope once more after Palascu had destroyed it. We saw part of a revolution together. I had hope for the common people at that time. For the freedom that I had never experienced; it was something they deserved more than anything. Yet when it came too close, when you were threatened, I retreated. My promises meant nothing in the face of threat to you. Thus, despite Marceaux’s attempts the city remains as it once was.
That is just one revolution I endured. I will spare you the details on the other.
When I returned to Port-a-Lucine again, I fell in love with Guy Maurice. I had known him for years. We joined the gendarme together. He was outspoken for the people when he joined while I had only attempted to preserve our family. When we met again, it was different. We quickly loved one another. Upon his death at the hands of a member of the gendarme, I once again lost hope. There were no more feelings.
It was an emptiness. I had loved and lost once more.
The only thing I had cared for was you. Your well being. When you told me you wished to go to Port-a-Lucine, I wept. The horrors within that city are monstrous.
Do not become the broken shell of a person that I am, sustained only by alcohol and rage. Be more, Dorian.
Do what I can not, if it is safe. Change the country. You are my greatest hope. You can make the change that I failed to. Just do not risk yourself or your love for such an opportunity.
I leave the de Sauvre households in your hands.
I doubt you shall hear from me again any time soon. I have no place here any longer.
Be as I raised you to be, like your father. Follow your beliefs.
Lovingly,
Solange de Sauvre