Author Topic: Poison is Medicine ~ Erzsebet Varga ~ Medicine is Poison  (Read 11284 times)

ladylena

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« Reply #50 on: July 24, 2017, 11:53:19 AM »
[Written in Luktar]

Well that was an interesting thing to stumble upon. A member of the vardo chatting with an essentially naked winged woman right beside the orphanage.

That creature called herself an angel. What business would an angel have with the RVT? What business would the RVT have with an angel? If she was a fiend that would have made more sense.

I regret not sneaking back there to eavesdrop. Yet, I don't want to get more into the politics of the vardo right now. Whoever Tarius was, many people seem to think I know of him.

I don't know anything anymore. I've fallen back down to the bottom of the ladder. I have lost all connections and informants I once had. I need to start over. I will enlist Imres help to find that library.

Syras is helping me to learn more discipline and... Well humility, as much as I hate to admit it. My pride is a problem. Selfish and prideful.

But I won't let that stop me from achieving what I want. If I can not achieve it while living, I will achieve it after. Undeath will be my means of seeing it through. I need to do something good with my life
.

ladylena

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« Reply #51 on: July 30, 2017, 07:49:35 PM »
[Written in Luktar]

Von Zeklos Keep.

What exactly happened here? So many ghosts, even ghouls. And a blood elemental, or ooze or something. I've seen shadow demons here, and there is a cavern full of water and fish, that leads into this strange sandy place full of child vampires. I am so confused by this place, I want to explore it more, but for that, I will need a group and at least someone who can make others not drown.

I've seen a lot of letters laying around but did not read them. I did read a book about summoning runes. The book mentioned a rune to open the gates of hell. Did someone do that here? Can such a thing be done? The way the book was written was rather confusing. Perhaps there is more to it than I gleamed.

I do not know why this place has me curious, but for some reason it does. I want to see every corner of this place and learn its secrets. Maybe there will be something to hint at the location of the Sunless Grove.

I need to find Imre, and the others who met in that room. Won't list any names in case this book falls into someone's hands. Come to think of it, maybe I should make some sort of code or cipher for my writing from here on in?

The elf has shown me some... Interesting things, to say the least. I've never allowed myself to be in such a position of vulnerability with a man before. The fear of being hurt doesn't go away easily. It takes a lot of time and effort, but at least I am learning.

I've not heard wind of Carinus since he was summoned to the citadel, I'm not surprised when an assassination goes badly like that you have to lay low. I need to continue my training, I put so much into my armour and weapon, but it was worth it.

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Re: Poison is Medicine ~ Erzsebet Varga ~ Medicine is Poison
« Reply #52 on: September 14, 2017, 05:07:00 PM »
Nightmares.

Horrible memories and visions of all the times she'd been wronged by a Barovian. Flashes of her mothers corpse being defiled while soldier laughed, that horrid hound as it bit into her eye. She had been jailed, humiliated and violated by the ones she aimed to achieve peace with.
These memories and visions had become almost too much to bear, certainly too much to sleep.

Opium.

She let the smoke coil around her in the luxurious room. Steam rose from the hot bath. Erzsebet reclined in the bath and took a deep inhale from the hookah beside her. She sighed with relief as the drug washed away her fears and clouded her mind in a most pleasant way. She had lost track of how long she had been renting this suite?

Another pull from the hookah and she didn't care. Time didn't matter. Nothing mattered. She rose the bath and slowly sauntered to the bed. The silken strands that draped over the canopy frame rustled above her as she flopped down on the soft bed, landing amidst the many pillows.
Her consciousness slowly faded into an opium hazed dream world. . .

A woman with a wolfs eye and a hazel one lounged upon a blood red throne with a serpent of gold coiled around her arm. Darkness surrounded it, obscuring any possible floor. She stepped into the darkness and fell, plummeting to land before a yellow robed man. He raised his arms, the sleeves of the robe falling away to reveal his missing hands. Way up high the throne was illuminated as the man in yellow now stood beside his queen; handless, watching, waiting.
Darkness descended on her, engulfing her in its velvety grasp. She saw a figure, a familiar figure. Surrounded in light with bloodied lips was the Dawn Father, his hands extended to her.

ladylena

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Re: Poison is Medicine ~ Erzsebet Varga ~ Medicine is Poison
« Reply #53 on: October 17, 2017, 04:11:25 PM »
"Oh Hated Mother, Goddess of the Night, giver of life eternal
Oh Old God, Nerull, creator of mortals death
With blood on our lips, and death on our breath
We pray and beg for your insight into this
Our goals and hopes awash within your crimson tide."

The voices of many rang out together in harmonium as each plunged the knife once into the hanging man. One by one, each member participated, each painting their lips red with the blood from their knives. A figure stood up from the crowd, a leader, followed by a second. Female and male, each donned a mask and together they held a chalice collecting the blood that flowed from the corpse.

Together they turned and held the chalice out to a figure cloaked in shadow. A cold, pale hand reached for it and clutched its clawed fingers around the golden cup and brought it into the darkness. It was returned empty of blood and each member felt imbued with power and knowledge.

The shadowed figure twisted as stars appeared and began to form a picture. A clue. Insight into their victory. The stars parted and showed them a different image, a darker image. One of death, decay, loss, and darkness.


Erzsebet woke up in a cold sweat, screaming in terror. Tears filled her eyes as she shakily reached for her opium pipe. The thick smoke billowed around the room as she puffed on it. Flashes of traumas past and of what she could have had, her miscarriages and lost ones. In the same shaky hand, she penned a letter to her cousin asking him to come.

She let the smoke coil from her lips slowly as she filled her pipe with the rest of her opium to lull herself to sleep as she cried out for her dead love, Fane.

ladylena

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« Reply #54 on: October 18, 2017, 01:09:56 PM »

[Written in Luktar]

Quote
Imre was right. I should embrace that which drove me for years through trauma and tragedy. By Barovian hands alone I have been violated, attacked, incarcerated without cause, jailed and, they sicked a dog at me to eat my eyes. Yet they are not the only ones to blame.

I have lost what I fought hard for, my permit to legally carry a weapon, because of an outlander bitch. Because of her and her brood, I lost all credibility I had earned in a year of hard work. What good did that year of toil and work, aiming to appease and comply, do for me? Not a damned thing.

Look at yourself, Erzsebet Varga. You are unbreakable. You keep rising up from the ashes of the messes you put yourself in. Stronger and wiser. Syras said I was the ocean, but he is wrong, I am the fire that burns. The fire that purges. I am the nightmares that I dream.

With the blackness that coils inside my heart taking hold, I will be unstoppable. I will lead an army in the shadows and strike like a snake, precise and deadly. The darkness is everywhere and no light can ever truly destroy it.
« Last Edit: October 18, 2017, 01:51:37 PM by ladylena »

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Re: Poison is Medicine ~ Erzsebet Varga ~ Medicine is Poison
« Reply #55 on: October 22, 2017, 04:37:46 PM »
"A rapier? Who the hell has a damned rapier?" Erzsebet pondered as she stalked through the streets of Vallaki. She could not think of one Gundarakite that had a rapier. She had her katana, she knew of one who held a claim for a stored battle ax, and the others had daggers. It perplexed her. At least this helped her to re-establish her network. A network that she would weave like a spiders web. Wide, vast, connecting to the strongest points of power.

Her dream was renewed, but she still felt lacking in ambition. Perhaps it was the poppy which had dulled her senses, perhaps it was the alcohol or the lack of a restful sleep. She put on a brave face to the world, pretended to be alright, but she was far from it. Adrift in a sea of grey, faces and days passing by one after the other. In the numbness she had used to cope, she found a lack of desire to do anything.

Her cousin had grown concerned over her use of the poppy, and likely the alcohol too. The woman he had always known was a strong, hot-headed, fierce lady. Yet the one he saw now was a shadow of that. Absent-minded, intoxicated, and disillusioned. A woman who had lost the flame in her soul. A poor, mangled husk of a woman, clinging to the threads of her broken spider web while hail and wind blow.

It was time to start over.

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Opium Hazed Nights
« Reply #56 on: November 10, 2017, 10:40:21 AM »
Darkness and smoke filled the room as Erzsebet lay on the bed, a pipe in her hand. How sweet the smoke tasted that it left her mind relaxed enough to sleep. She had been due to meet with Angelique in Krofburg soon, but the poppy had chased away all sense of time. What Erzsebet had thought was one night, had in fact, been much longer. But that was why she chose the windowless room in the inn.

The Gundarakite woman let herself drift away in the smoke of the opium pipe. Faces formed in the smokey haze, Rodica, Teodor, Stefan, Elias, Andras, Adira, Serghei, Syras, and many whose names she had forgotten.
"You're the ocean, Betty."

Destructive, captivating, swallowing all in its way in time. Death and decay, a thriving element that turns stones to dust and flesh to bone. A thing thought to bring life, but it is a trap, a trap that engulfs and destroys. One minute the ocean may be calm and friendly, but deep down in those waters lurks a rip tide that will drown even the strongest swimmer. Wild and impossible to tame. Ever-rising and ebbing. Eternal.

Biting the finger of her gloved hand, she pulled the glove off, trailing her hand through the coiling smoke. She set the pipe down on the side table and searched her pockets for some matches and another packet of opium. Imre was right, she would very likely overdose before she knew it, but that was why she carried antidotes with her. She knew her limits, and when to stop.

As she found what she searched for, Erzsebet packed the pipe with fresh opium, struck a match and lit the pipe. She could feel something stirring in her stomach. A feeling, waiting to erupt with power. Smoke rings curled up in the air from her lips.

"Hated Mother, Nerull, Mama... What the hell do I do now?" She pondered aloud to herself as if expecting the smoke to give her some answer.

Peace. A non-violent end to the violent oppression of her people. It was a stupid, naive idea. As foolish as the rebels seeking to regain a land that never once existed. She would have to spill blood, her hands were already dirty. Ideas flashed through her opium hazed mind. She could spread this sickness of cholera. Provide medicine to her kin for free, and charge the Barovians absurd amounts of gold.

'Turn the Barovians into sickly swine, dearest one. Make them weak with illness, decrease their numbers and rise up.'

'Gundarakites can rise up and take lead, but they need a leader. Someone as devout as the Mothers' King in Yellow.'

'Rise up from the blood dearest one. Smother their numbers with sickness. Death will be your ally.'

'Power and eternal life will be yours one day if you serve us well Dearest Erzsebet.'

'You will reign eternal in this grey city, my Charnal Queen.'

'Rise Erzsebet, remove your shackles and fears.'

'Become our Crimson Queen.'

Had those voices been a dream? She shook her head not knowing whether it was real or not. Now she set the pipe down and moved to the corner of the room. She crouched before the wash basin and splashed the cold water on her face and turned to stare at herself in the mirror. She did not recognize the woman who stared back at her. She looked foreign, broken and pitiful. Where was the fire in her eyes? The passion? Erzsebet placed a hand on her reflection.

"No. No. No! I am not weak! I am not this! This is not me!" She screamed at the mirror. Her hands hit the cold glass of the mirror as she sunk to the ground resting her forehead on the glass. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "If I spread this, children will die." She admitted amidst her tearful sobs. "DAMN THEM ALL! EVERY LAST ONE!"

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« Reply #57 on: November 27, 2017, 11:28:33 AM »
Quote
[Written in Luktar]

I learned a great deal about the outlanders' version of Nerull. To them, he is a God who loathes all living things. They revere death as being the purest form of existence. They seem to view undead as a blessing I think? It is quite strange to think that someone living would worship such a god. Maybe they follow an archaic form of Nerull. It is said that he is very ancient. I respect their views, I mean mostly because I am certain the priestess' knight would have killed me in an instant. She wasn't very happy when I told her the view of Nerull being a trickster, she seemed to take offence to that. It makes me wonder if all outlander religions are shadows of ours.

I am pretty sure now that I need to find out more. I just know that with the right information I could turn the tide in Vallaki. I could make them see how dangerous outlanders are. I could get rights and freedom while they go punished. I see them all the time, flaunting their freedoms and being upset that the law is not their homes. They act as if they are persecuted or targeted. They think they are treated badly. Yet they do not realise that they can wield a real weapon, they could probably even own land if they wanted. They are the ones who go breaking the Counts laws so often.

Where does the gunpowder come from? Outlanders. Who provides the guns and drugs that get smuggled in? Outlanders. It is infuriating. I want the garda and the Burgomaster and even the damned Count to see that we are not a threat! We do not need to be so oppressed. It is THEM who need it. It is THEM who are the threat. It is their fault. All their fault. While once it was the Barovians I loathed, I am beginning to hate the outlanders more. Flaunting their freedom to speak their own languages, carrying weapons sometimes almost as big as they are.

It is not fair. I want them to know.

I NEED them to know.

To know what it is really like to be harassed and forced into submission.

What it is like to be treated badly. Not to be able to defend ourselves, not owning land or weapons.

They need to know what oppression is really like, because I am so tired and sick of seeing them breaking laws and my people being blamed.

I know I am not alone in this either. There are Barovians who share this view, and there are Gundarakites as well. Those of us who know that there is no getting Gundarak back, it is gone, absorbed into Barovia. If we let that go, and just try to get treated fairly...

ladylena

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« Reply #58 on: December 05, 2017, 06:11:56 PM »
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[Written in Luktar]

Such praise from someone so... Revered! And His house! To think something like that could be right under his nose. I can't get over the beauty of that place. It is truly amazing. I feel so damn fortunate. To be called a general, I am completely lost for words.

I can not recall the last time I felt such excitement! Such... Joy and power. The Caretaker thinks similar to me, but not the same. He gave me such praise when he said that I would succeed where he failed and that he failed because he did not think like a hunter. Oh Mama, Fane! This is the happiest I've been in ages!

Fane you'd be so proud of me. I met Him. I visited the church of the old god. I am thrilled and feel the need and desire even stronger now. I have to continue with my plan, and I have to continue to grow the flock that follow me.                        

I will need to figure out some form of test to test their loyalty. I can't have people who would act against me, nor people who speak too freely. Such things will only result in failure in my plans. I can understand how some will doubt me, and those who do are not worthy. I need at least one other with whom I can discuss plans and arrange things. Someone who understands my goals and sees the end picture. I need someone I can trust.

Someone level-headed, who has control, and who doesn't want war. I believe not wanting a war will be crucial. Like I told the Caretaker, Barovians are just soldiers blindly obeying their masters command. They are dogs, and dogs can be chained and taught and trained, and eventually turn on their old master. Perhaps the women in my following may be willing to sleep with those dogs to better chain them to a rightful Master.

But a General! General Erzsebet Varga.

Fane, your dream for me is coming true.

It all begins in Vallaki.

ladylena

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« Reply #59 on: December 30, 2017, 09:12:55 AM »
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[Written in Luktar]
Another Barovian. A necromancer too, such power and control over death. And his eyes, that intensity is electric. It makes me shiver and tingle. Anatomy and the human body is as fascinating to him, as it is to me. I will teach him how to embrace his gift, the concern he shows towards me is sweet.

I wonder if the people of Krofburg would recall my visit with Teodor - who is now gone, like his family. Cursed, I'm sure, yet Serghei tells me that he has had such bad luck as myself. I hope it will cancel out. I can see such a magnificent future ahead. He is like the Lord, with control over death, perhaps I can become more like the Hated Mother. We could lead together and build a Vallaki where Gundarakites and Barovians are treated fairly. Where the Burgomaster and Garda recognize the threat of the outlanders over us.

There is so much I want to do now. I have not felt this... Alive since Fane died. Since my report I've heard nothing. I may have to find out what is going on with that.

While the poppy is out of my system, I still long for it. With my tolerances to poisons it would probably kill me before long with the buildup. What a pity. Oh and that surgery.. I was and still am so excited for it. How decayed is the flesh, will it slough off, or need to be cut? The chance to see something so unheard of is thrilling.

No matter how hard I try, my mind keeps drifting back to that first night we shared. Never have I ever enjoyed myself so much in bed. For a witch, he is quite toned.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 02:09:23 PM by ladylena »

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Jailed
« Reply #60 on: January 11, 2018, 11:20:18 PM »
Confusion and a cold rage filled her being. What was going on, why was she being arrested? Who would claim she was a rebel wanting violence? All who knew her knew that war was the last thing she wanted. It was strange, like a dream. A horrible nightmare. She had been beaten to the brink of death as she was put in her cell. The Garda wailed on her with punch after punch, strike after strike, hitting her until she lost consciousness. Erzsebet lay on the dirty, grimy floor for hours before she came to.

Erzsebet tried to lift her hand, but felt stitches give way and hot blood coating her skin. "If only I'd stayed in my room a little while longer. Or not left... " She moaned as she tried to move her body and was wrought with pain. With a defeated huff, she gave up and lay there; naked, bruised and covered in blood and scabs. "Everything hurts..."

How long had it been since she woke up? She could hear someone coming, she forced herself to sit up against the wall. A garda full of questions and accusations. At least two people told them she was a rebel. She was asked for information she did not have and replied each time with the truth. "I'm not a rebel! The last thing I want is a damned war." She was learning the harsh truth that someone betrayed her. She raced over the people she knew, and over those who knew. Yet aside one, she could not think of anyone. Even so, she still could not fathom why they would do such to her.

Could it of been some weird test from the Care-taker? That wouldn't make sense. Erzsebet drifted through the time in her cell. Frustrated she screamed about telling the truth several times before realizing how futile it was. Gross scabs had begun to form on some of the opened wounds, she knew they needed to be cleaned, she also knew that they wouldn't care. She could rot in the cell, starve or die of dehydration and it would mean nothing. She would just be another dead body they would not pass a second thought on the matter.

She had prayed to those she revered, asked for a miracle to get out. She did not expect an answer or anything, but still, she found herself reciting prayers. She could not get the thought of betrayal from her mind. It burned and seared like a white-hot flame. Every moment that her mind was quiet, that thought crept in. She had learned the sources were two people. Her suspicions and paranoia began to fester like the torn open injuries on her body. When she was given water, she did her best to clean her wounds and hauled herself up on the bench.   

Several times she had tried to sleep, but the screams of the prisoners kept her from any restful sleep. Eventually, she'd pass out. Her body still weakened by the beating.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2018, 05:33:14 PM by ladylena »

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« Reply #61 on: January 25, 2018, 04:54:04 PM »
Quote
A truth serum. A god damned truth serum. I know I can trust Serghei, but not sure on the others yet. I don't want to be tested on, the idea of it working is great, but I will have to make something to nullify the effect. I will have to spend some time researching plants. I am pretty certain a combination of plants with a base of tears of lethe. Hallucinogenic plants may provide some benefit in the serum.

On another note, I have fallen in love. Imre would throw a fit learning that for the third time it is a Barovian who steals my heart, almost sounds like one of those trashy novels from Dementlieu. "The tale of the Gundarakite woman cursed to love men of her conquerors. First the son of the Black Wolf of Teufeldorf, a pox-marked orphan guard, and now a powerful necromancer takes her fancy." Good Lord and Mother bet if I wrote it I could make big money in Port-a-Lucine, I've seen a romance based on necrophilia sell there.

Rich people and their deviancies... I mean I can't talk, but at least necrophilia is not on my list. But Serghei, hm that man and the things I could do... He has had as much bad luck and misfortune as I have. Perhaps even more, I hope and pray that our misfortunes cancel each other out and that we can have a family together. I still can't believe Syras has the audacity to make that remark about that, telling me I -can't- have children.
« Last Edit: January 25, 2018, 04:58:18 PM by ladylena »

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« Reply #62 on: February 05, 2018, 02:51:07 PM »
Quote
Step one with the serum went well. I want to try that opium extract, Serghei won't let me, I get that. I rooted out one who was not working with me. I can not be certain that he ratted me out, but Zoltan is no more. I can not afford to let those who know and who oppose me live. Another concern is the outlander priest. I don't trust him, however, I do see benefit in an alliance, at least to keep the peace.

I told Mama about Serghei hopefully she will meet him. I still have people to interrogate and that one garda tramp to deal with. I also need to look into how best to preserve an organ. I am considering drying it out with salt or storing it in honey. My one regret was not letting my love take the knife.

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« Reply #63 on: February 08, 2018, 10:00:45 AM »
Quote


Foxglove (Digitalis purpurea), Dead Man's Bells, Witch's Gloves

Large doses are lethal, small doses can be used to treat heart conditions and can be used to lose weight. Overdose results in nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, intense hallucinations, tremors, convulsions and deadly disturbances of the heart.

All parts of this plant are poisonous. Even water in a vase of flowers is poisonous.

Foxglove is used to treat a variety of ailments in small doses. Examples are heart irregularities, epilepsy, tuberculosis. It is emetic thus can be used to induce vomiting. A salve containing Digitalis can help heal burns and minor wounds.

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« Reply #64 on: February 24, 2018, 03:27:08 PM »
[Written in Luktar]

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The Red Academy.

Honestly that was a strange day. Weird little gremlin led me to finding a position as assistant for some medical regards, possibly arcane and medical. It could be so very interesting. The man who hired me is peculiar too. I want to know what is with his arm.

Hah Varga. You and meeting men with strange arms. As fascinating as both conditions are, I think they are entirely unique. One is bone, the other seems to be I don't know, maybe a ghoul arm? Perhaps a ghast? It's too pale and leathery to be from a vampire, and far to fleshy for a zombie.

I am worried a tad that this place may twist me the way it has twisted nature. Ramulai has a very twisted nature about it. So empty and vast, and of course the academy itself. However there is little better for scientific advancement than human test subjects. The scientist and doctor who originally taught me that. Animals can not tell what they feel nor can we trust that something lethal to animals may be lethal to us.

I want to discuss with the man who hired me if I could perhaps experiment with transplanting an entire womb. If that can be done, then maybe I will be able to be the mother I want to be. I need to learn more and renew my study with fervour... I wonder whatever happened with Doctor Gisler anyway. Ludwig was a great teacher, but a bit mad perhaps, he was also a genius with his work.

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A page added to her journal
« Reply #65 on: March 10, 2018, 06:56:55 PM »
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Subject R.

Absurdly resistant to magic, even when drunk. Resistant to alcohol as well. Subject displayed a hostile reaction to Tears of Lethe. Unexpected and dangerous. Attacked me and my lover. Hatred of mages determined to be due to invading mages killing his pregnant wife. This subject is dangerous and lacks impulse control on a sober day. The subject should never be permitted to access alcohol.

I've had previous contact with this subject and I still believe, as I had then, that permanent confinement to an Asylum would be best. That or a damn tight leash.

Immunity to poison proven false as provided by magical trinket.

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« Reply #66 on: March 17, 2018, 09:57:53 PM »
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I love spending my nights with Serghei. This is the happiest and safest I've felt in ages, despite everything. I may loose my mother again, there is little I can do to fix that, I promised her. I have began to make Hazlan a new home, it works for now. My job at the academy is due to provide interesting results. Yet part of my being feels this dread about that place. The lack of ethics and morals there is so familiar, like my time with Doctor Gisler.

"Knowledge can not truly progress with morals and ethics in place."

Fairly sure the Red Wizards would agree. I have this sick eagerness to begin. This eagerness is also a fear. I can't explain it, but it is the same feeling that caused me to flee Lamordia and my studies. I long to explore, yet my mind is filled with 'what if's. I am unsure what causes that unsetteling sensation, but this time I will push through it. For Serghei. For myself.

I can push and by doing so I can achieve what I long for. A child. I long for a child, but due to my past I am damaged. Every attempt has resulted in loss, and pain. I do not have a problem with fertility, not at all.

Everything is changing, I don't know what it is changing to. I have left my homeland, but not my cause. I wont forget my cause, my goal, my desire. Unlike those foolish rebels I don't want what never was. I want my kin to have the same treatment that the Forfarian or Thaani have. The same freedom the outlanders have. From there my true plan can begin to unfold.

I should try to find contact in Vallaki, since I am still banished. Banished for stupid rumours. I have NEVER wanted a war. I have never plotted against Vallaki, I fought to protect that city! Yet, throw Gundarakite and Rebel in the same sentence and all believe the worst. I will not give up on my goal.

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« Reply #67 on: March 24, 2018, 09:32:00 AM »
[Written in Luktar]

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His reaction was hardly what I expected. That outburst, and him warning me to stay away... I do wonder what went on. I guess the fat shirtless man wasn't their test subject,  but the Zulkir - I think that's what they called him- Damn glad I bit my tongue and didn't say anything. I do wonder how the experiment went.

ladylena

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« Reply #68 on: March 31, 2018, 05:18:31 PM »
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I remember a long time ago that I was asked to explain my views. I couldn't put it in words then, but I believe I can now. I'm sure anyone who freaking steals my book and reads it, will find these cold or cruel, maybe they are.

Death is not real, at least not how we believe it to be. It, like nature, is just but a passing phase. Flowers die and come back again next spring. Plants wither and die, and are revived from death with the thawing of the land. "Mortals", I believe can achieve this too. In a way we have, magic and elixirs to bring back the newly dead.

Knowledge can never progress when we stick to morals and ethics. They are but lines that become blurred when one seeks to learn further. Furthermore Caliban, I don't see as being "human". No matter how human-like they act, they are not. Corpses of criminals and those who died of illness should be allowed to be used as test subjects. If someone agrees and wants to, why not let them become a living test subject? The knowledge gained can be used to advance our understanding of how it all works. -Oh God, I'm sounding like Doctor Gisler...

I suppose another thing that people often ask is about religion, I don't know why. My beliefs are my own, if someone wants to be enlightened by learning about another faith, why not.

I thoroughly believe that outlanders are driven to madness upon entry to our "plane" (as they call it). Perhaps the mists contain some element that natives are conditioned to by exposure, but they are not. I mean how can anyone from a civilized place forget to close doors, let monsters in to attack people, and eagerly seek out death? Working briefly with Emanuel Gaspar gave me some insight into the various branches of insanity. Pity he vanished, like the others... Odd how that happens.

I guess times ahead I am going to be grateful for Grandmother teaching me how to 'act like a proper lady'. I loathe acting submissive though. It's worth it for what is ahead. I do not want to see how the academy punishes. I mean hearing of the loss of many of his assistants in such a brief time... Suppose when I properly meet that fat man, I'll apologise for not showing proper respect before, and then keep my mouth shut and do as I'm told like a good demure woman. Makes my skin crawl and makes me want to add some aconite or cyanide to a drink. Put an end to that.

Just consider it like dealing with the garda. Suck it up and smile, and mentally imagine them being dissected. I do have a feeling of dread about that academy though. I have never walked in a land that felt so- twisted? Wrong? Tainted? Warped?- and the city of Ramulai... Curious as I am, I doubt I want to know the reasons. I will put it to the back of my mind. I am here for a reason.

Hmmmm Hazlan is not far from Barovia... Perhaps I could set up operations here?

Side note: I've taken to trying to learn Vaasi.

ladylena

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Trickery, Manipulation and Murder
« Reply #69 on: April 05, 2018, 08:35:42 PM »
A simple letter turned out to be her worst choice. "Come meet us outside Vallaki, we'll lift the banishment under a few stipulations." She had felt hope that things may have finally been repaired. So she walked to the outskirts of Vallaki, making certain to never cross into it.

Yordan and her spoke in hushed tones as the banishment was discussed, Erzsebet had no clue that this meeting was just a cruel joke. A farce, a facade, fake. When she refused an invitation to the citadel, she was assaulted and grabbed. Fear flooded through her and she managed to break free from the clutches of the two men.

Her body shook as she downed a potion to let her run. They chased her along the road, past the bend in the road right to the old cabin on the Svalich road, where the arrows that perforated her torso and the beatings of the corporal took their toll on her. She was rendered unconscious.

As she lay there floating in a world of darkness, two men stumbled upon the scene. When she came to and was shackled, her eyes darted around for anyone to help or means of escape. She saw a face she recognized and begged that man to tell her employer in Hazlan about her arrest.

Bitter and terrified, Erzsebet remained quite vocal as she was forced to break the banishment at the gardas behest. She wailed about being innocent, about not having broken any laws, but even the locals of Vallaki and the men who followed ignored her cries.

She was led into the Citadel where Corporal Hubchev sat down and filled the paperwork before sending the battered and bleeding woman to a cell. What came next, no one could have foreseen. A vicious crack to the woman's head, an abrupt end to not just her life, but the tiny delicate life that had been growing inside her. That fact would remain unknown until her corpse was checked and the post-mortem expulsion of the tiny little fetus had occurred on the jail cell floor.

ladylena

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Disassociation, Dreams and Deceit
« Reply #70 on: April 13, 2018, 10:32:08 PM »
One cell was traded for another. Smaller, less movement. Chained to the bars of the cage inside the small stone room. Terror, her body shook as she kept her eyes shut trying to delude herself about where she was. Someone watched her from behind a shadowy mask. Questions were brought up and asked. She had died and was now questioned. Was this a trick of Nerull?

No, the questions were about her mother. About her. About the Black Hand. About her employer in House Za'am. She gave the answers to what she was asked. Her words sounded foreign as she repeated the oath at his beckoning.

Two different, distinct bloods combined, they mixed and dripped on the cold cell floor. It was not the first blood there. Surely not the last. "Drink." She was bid, and drink she did. One dose, two doses, nothing. Nothing at all. And so, just like it began, it ended again in a cell with a vicious crack to render her unconscious.

ladylena

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Re: Poison is Medicine ~ Erzsebet Varga ~ Medicine is Poison
« Reply #71 on: April 16, 2018, 01:38:55 PM »

That was not a dream. I am not sure who or what that stranger was, but to me, I will take it as a sign that my God is on my side. After all, death is just a deception. To those who understand the joke that is. Oh but you filthy man-lover, tsk tsk tsk, what a fool you were. You should never have left my corpse alone if you wanted me to stay dead. I'm going to root out the evil corrupted son of a filthy whore and make him regret ever crossing me.

Oh, sweet Barovian man, I know your secret, and I will destroy you for what you stole from me. You disgusting excuse for a living being. You stole not only my life but the life of a child. MY CHILD. Your lies and manipulations will be brought into the open. I can only speculate why you did what you did, your mention of the Wachter incident makes me suspect that your allegiances are not where I first thought.

Coffin Birth. A rare thing but it happens. Gasses and fluid build up in the corpse cause an expulsion of the fetus. I guess at least I wasn't conscious of it happening. So I can thank him for that much.

Oh, he will pay. Between myself, my lover, and this stranger I dealt with... I hope you are ready.

ladylena

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[A page in Erzsebets Journal]
« Reply #72 on: May 03, 2018, 10:18:31 AM »
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There comes a time in life when no matter how hard we have tried to treat a problem with medicine, that medicine turns to poison. It violates the system, causes pain and agony and needs to be treated another way. Naivety is something that I have been guilty of for far too long. I have hoped that things could be worked out peacefully, but now... Now I see that is not the case. Now I've come to a crossroad.

One path leads me to power and position in Hazlan. A chance to start fresh, a new name. Yet, the cost could very well turn me into a traitor to my kin.

The other path leads me into Barovia, into the shadows and into what I had hoped to avoid.

The middle path, the one I would love to follow, leads me betwixt the two. It is a path of vagueness and indecision. Complacency.

No path is free of consequences and each has its boon. I now know for certain that my mother is gone. She was not evil, mama was a good person. She was taken from me again by an outlander and a Barovian. I wish I could have her back, I wish I could have carried that child to term or at least known I was pregnant. There are so many things I wish I could have. A child, mother being alive again, peace between Barovian and Gundarakites, my own family. But these are just dreams, nothing but fantasies that won't come true.

I remember something I was told when I was little, about how to eradicate an ant nest. Feed the worker and harvester ants poison, they will bring that poison to the queen and she will die. From there the ants turn on each other and the colony collapses. Ants die and others migrate to another nest. Perhaps that is how I should deal with this next problem.

I need to speak to the Caretaker again, I want to tell him about my experience with that ... Well, I still think he was a messenger from God.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2018, 02:10:47 PM by ladylena »

ladylena

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« Reply #73 on: July 21, 2018, 07:26:40 PM »
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He spoke to me again. The avatar of God. The physical form taken by Him here. He spoke to me again, I can hardly refuse such order from Him. Besides, the order aligns with my own desires. It is time. . .

ladylena

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« Reply #74 on: July 28, 2018, 06:13:43 PM »
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Slander. Lies.

These things keep haunting me. I have nothing that I can think of having done to warrant this. I have enough of this slander, I am going to have to take those steps I didn't want to.

I have struggled to maintain a sense of self amidst all this and not travel too far down the path of depravity. That path of inner darkness. I have tried to be good, tried to be helpful, tried to try a better way. Clearly that shit isn't working. I have one last try at resolving this mess without conflict or bloodshed. However, if this does not stop...

Although Dextan is right about it being a corruptive force, it is nearing the point that - and I dread this- the consequences will be outweighed. While I have tried to walk a good path since the incident with that dog. I mean both barovian garda and doberman. I've regained some sight back in my eye,  but honestly I would give it up for my name to be cleared. I'm almost tempted to offer up my adamantine sword for this. I hope it wont come to that.

I still have a hard time dealing with what I lost, it haunts my dreams. I keep reliving that death, only in my dreams I see the coffin birth on the jail floor. It was almost three months. Longest that I've been able to carry... And he took that from me. Him and his lacky. J'qarr watching me being dragged into town, being stripped and tossed into a cell with several arrow wounds... And then that stick, that awful horrible stick. Last thing I saw... It's easier to tell if I exclude myself from the tragedy. 

Wonder if Gaspar died....