Hey guys, while surfing the net one day, I found myself curious as to why the two servers of Amia and Arelith split off from each other and decided to Google it. I didn't find much in the way of answers, but I did find a cached version of the forums for a server called "Empires of the Moons" (the server is still around but their forums are apparently down). In this post, the forum admin made some good points and a lot of the stuff she says I can see here in our own forums. I'll quote the relevant posts:
The issue of bad players came up in another thread, and it's something I have sort of thought about for a very long time.
Everyone has a different version of what a "bad player" is. Hence everyone will think a different player should have to be the one we get rid of.
The easy ones are the ones who log on with the name "Fred Flintstone" Sure, we know immediately that that person is a "bad player." We know the same thing about the guy who shouts out the F word, the one who flames other people on forum, etc...
But where do we draw the line on the less than obvious.
I have a friend people considered a "bad player" because his character was really crass and rude. Well, he's not a bad player, he's just playing the kind of character you don't want to hang out with.
I have seen on another server, people who constantly gripe on forums under the guise of "constructive criticism." They would dole out pages and pages of what they deemed insightful information, but the ultimate effect was that it made other people who were completely happy, suddenly also discontent with the server.
I have seen players who, when they didn't get their way, make a point to go to every single person on a server who would lend an ear, and complain to them until the entire server was involved in the problem and suddenly there was a division between those who supported the admin and those who did not.
The irony being that the people who are typically the borderline bad players never actually realize they are. They see what they are doing as completely within their right as a player.
Well, none of the above three examples are what would make someone a "bad player" in my opinion. However, I will say that the first is what I would deem misunderstood. If you don't like someone's character, PLEASE do not associate that with the individual themselves. People are NOT their character. Try to strike up a conversation oocly; you'll usually find that they're reasonable people. If your character doesn't like their character, then let your character take care of it icly. "Go away you horrid horrid man."
The second example is what I call a "bad poster." They sort of like to see their own words in print and enjoy public recognition of it, especially if the public agree with them. If someone disagrees with them, they'll enter a very heated battle with whoever happened to say anything they didn't like. They don't quite understand the concept of PMs. If there are major disconcerting issues, they should be handled via PM to the Admin, or else via PM to the person they would like to debate with. That way, those who are content with things don't have to read people's long lists of grievances or their public arguments.
If you do post a long list of grievances, I will remove it and ask you via PM to kindly send those directly to admin next time. If you do argue on forum, I will remove the discussion and ask you to take the argument to PMs with that individual.
I am not saying do not discuss things. I'm saying to follow the rule.
1. If what you are about to write is discussing something that upsets you, makes you feel uncomfortable, or gives you that fight or flight feeling, it doesn't belong on forum.
If you're about to respond to a post that upsets you, makes you feel uncomfortable, or gives you that fight or flight feeling, it probably doesn't belong on forum and should be immediately reported to admin.
Examples would be: someone's rp that upset you, religion, politics, how people "ought" to rp.
2. If what you are about to write discusses things that would benefit from input from the server as a whole, and is about an issue that you are emotionally detatched from, then it's probably a prime candidate for open forum. Examples would be NWN1 vs. NWN2. Asking the players why they aren't online, etc... Those are all great topics.
The third example is someone who is what I like to call a gleaner. They aren't mature enough to handle a situation on their own, so in order to make themselves feel better after being denied what is typically a selfish request, they try to glean everyone's sympathy. It's actually the main reason for the split between Amia and Arelith. It's the MOST damaging thing that anyone can do to a server. To me it's a bannable offense because of how destructive it can be. Discuss your disappointments with the Admin. If they say no, then I'm sorry, they simply do not see it as something that would be beneficial to the server in general.
If you're upset, and need to talk to one friend, I understand. If you are upset and talk to ten people, there's an issue.
Gleaners, I like that. Would they include the "oh poor me I am going to quit because no one appreciates my greatness, but golly look at all the people who ask me to stay so I'm going to hang in there for the good of my pubic until next week at which time we revist the drama once again" types?
PRIME example of a gleaner Cbas YES!!! They typically are searching for validation in some way. Either they don't believe in themselves, or they don't believe in their ideas enough to allow them to stand on their own without the added support of, "So and so agrees with me, as do ten other people on the server." We will always address ideas based on merit, not based on how many people someone has convinced to agree with them.
I hate to say it, but I've been seeing a lot of people who fit the above criteria in the last few months. I won't name names, but this sort of behavior needs to STOP. We're all here to play a game and have fun. We don't need your BS melodrama, and we don't want it, so knock it off.
Don't start gossip about people. It's childish and destructive and it ultimately just makes you look bad.
Don't involve yourself in situations that don't concern you. We have a Head DM and the Community Council for a reason. If another player talks to you about problems they are having tell them to take it to the Head DM or the player reps on the Council. DO NOT take it upon yourself to act as some sort of "lawyer" and become involved in a situation that doesn't concern you. You'll only make the problem worse.
Remember that this is just a game. There's no need to elevate this to the kinds of histrionics I've seen from some people lately. If something upsets you that much, log off, take a deep breath, and do something else for a while. I guarantee that after you've calmed down a bit you'll realize how silly it is to get that worked up over a game.
finally, if someone is harassing you and giving you grief over this sort of thing, screenshot it (by pressing the "print screen" button while in the game) and send the screenshots to the DM team.