You have been taken by the Mists

Author Topic: Journal of Juliette Marchand  (Read 7743 times)

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Journal of Juliette Marchand
« on: February 25, 2015, 10:24:57 AM »
[The cover of this dirty book seems old, it look like it has been used and manipulated alot. Many page seem to be missing.

[The writing of the first entry is bad, filled with error and a few letter aren't write correctly]

I' leerning ow two writ and reed. I'm apy, for de firs time. Sooon I wil bee able too reed the bok then maan gaave me yes ter day. I want to learnn mor. It's de only thing that I wantt two do. It makke me apy. I stope thing king about de cav.

If Misss Krisstyne and Miss Vivine wuldn't ave elp me. I tink I wuld be daad by nowe, kiled by tugg... or suiside. Wen I can reed and writte correctly, I wille finde worke and finde my famyli. I wante two see tem. I oppe they wille remember me. 

If I donte finde tem, I dont know wat I wille do. Fore now, I wante to laarn mor, forgett aboute de cav, aboute me, I just want to learn.

[The part of the text that are clear enough to be read are badly written, hard to decipher. The rest is unclear and nothing logical is found in it]



 
« Last Edit: December 16, 2015, 06:05:28 PM by Iluvatar »
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2015, 08:17:31 AM »
[This time the wrting si easier to understand, less mistake and the letter are well written]

Mor, mor,  I wante too lern mor, I wante to reed, I wante to write. I wante to reed the book Alyei gave me. Miss Vivienne said he is a bad men, but eh was so nice with me. He gave me food, a few solar also. A reed me a part of the book he gave me. He was nice... But, if miss Vivienne say he is a bade mane, she muste be righte, she woulde note lie too me. Her and miss Christine are so nice with me, they would note lie to me.

[There are mark on the page as if she had cry a bit writing these words]

I am happy with them, fore the firste tim of my life, someone is nise withe me. I am Miss Vivienne asisstant now, I have a job, I am happy.

I am happy now, with Miss Christine and Miss Vivenne I will safe, I wont go back in the dark cave.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2015, 08:02:01 AM »
[The handwriting seem better, the text is clearer, there are less mistake but still place for improvement]

[There small drops of blood all over the page]

I don't feel good, I am cold and I feel weak. I think it's the same thing the other had back in the cave. Are they going to kill me, like the master did every time someone had that sickness. I will not tell them, I will lie, they must not know, I don't want to die not right now. I want to find my parents., I want to be with miss Christine and miss Vivienne. I am happy with them, I feel like someone else. But now that I have caught this sickness, I don't have much time left before someone kill me I think. I don't. The pain, it hurts , but I need to endure just a little more, I want to be with them one last time.

Any way, the small green leaf I picked before running into the mist, I don't have much now, only a few more, probably a few days only. After that I'll turn crazy like them. I saw it happen many time in the cave. It happened to me once. It's horrible I don't want to go through that again. If I survive this, I'll need to find more. But I don't know how it's called. I think I heard the master said it was opium but I am not sure. At least the green leaf is helping for the pain. Each time I take one the pain goes away even if it's only for a small time.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #3 on: February 27, 2015, 12:56:12 PM »
[The writing suppose she was very tired when she did this. Blood stain from the other page have left small reddish spot on this one]

It was so painful. I was coughing blood again. He saw me, the man in blue. I think he was with the gendarme. I though he would kill me, I was scared. I had difficulty breathing and each breath was painful. But he helped me, he brought me at the theatre. I was coughing more and more blood, it was scary. It was so painful, I just wanted the pain to go away, kill myself, but I couldn't. I was exhausted and each move was painful. I asked him to free me from the pain but he didn't know what to do.

After that, the pain became more and more intense. Just before I lost consciousness, I saw a hooded man in the doorway. He was walking slowly toward me. When I regain consciousness, may head was resting on his laps, he was humming something. I don't know why but as soon as I heard him I felt relaxed and the pain would cease for a moment. I don't know how much time I spent like that, many hours perhaps. I was scared, I didn't know what he was doing to me or how. I don't know why, but each time I heard his voice I would feel better for a moment. He was talking to me, asking question. I don't remember answering him nor the question he asked me. He made me drink something, it was in a small bottle with a strange inscription on it. I wanted to close my eyes, to give up, but each time he would keep me awake. Then I remember seeing light in his eyes.
I kept my eyes open as he was asking me but I could see clearly. I finally closed my eye, unable to keep them open. I don't remember what happened after that.

I had a strange dream, I was a young girl. I lady was holding my hand smiling to me. There was a man next to her, him too was smiling to me. I think they were my dad and mom. We were here, in the port. We were attacked by big man with a black skinned and deformed visage. The lady and the man were killed. I felt very sad, I think they were my parent there is no other logical answer then this one. I saw them die, I had their blood all over me, on my hand, on my face, my clothes.

I don't remember the rest of the dream, everything was dark and I couldn't see or hear anything. I was alone, nothing around me, no one.

I remember waking up, the man with the nice voice carrying me. He said something before leaving me, I only remember this : "... need ... anything ... ask ... Don". I don't remember anything else after this, only that I woke up here.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #4 on: February 27, 2015, 07:11:30 PM »
[The handwriting suggest the person was shaking whe she wrote this]

It was a trick. I am going to die, the pouch with the opium had poison on it. There was a note in it, but i wasn't able to read it until now. The note say that I need to go back there if I want to live. I prefer to die then going back there. Never again I'll go in that cave
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2015, 02:08:08 PM »
I am having these strange dream again. I remember thing I did, thing they did to me in the cave. It cannot be true, I can't have possibly done that to these people. I'm not one of them, I am sure about that. It's just a dream it is not true.

I want to talk about it with someone, but what will that person think if i tell her what I did.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #6 on: March 08, 2015, 12:12:49 AM »
I don't want to go fight, I've got enough of fighting. That's only thing I do in my dream, torturing poor people fighting and killing. I got enough of all that.
Only one last time, I will help to defend the port. My new friend lives their, I live there. I will defend the Then no more fighting. NEVER AGAIN

I hate myself, I wish I could disappear sometime, a place where no one could see me. I don't deserve all of this, I've done terrible thing. After the war I will remain at the port for sometime, then I'am going away, I don't know yet what I'm going to do. But I need to be alone for sometime. I'm glad i met Vivienne and Christine, Temperance and Maretha are nice too. Without them, I think I would have become my old self again. Without their kindness I would have become the monster i was before. I'm glad to be free from the cave, to have met these people. I will fight one last time, for my friend

After the war, I'm... I will see after the war, for now, I will turn back into my old self for the time of this fight then NEVER again that part of me is coming out again NEVER

I hate my self, I don't deserve this kindness

One day I promise I will take my life for all those I have taken, for now i will endure the curse of the golden cave, the pain will be my consequence for what i have done
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #7 on: March 08, 2015, 12:53:48 PM »
I'm confuse, my dream I think they were true after all. During the fight yesterday, every people I killed, their blood on my hand, It felt good, I liked it and right now I want more.
The feeling when my blade goes through the flesh of my victim, the look on his face, it was good.

Why? Why is this happening to me? I don't want this, I don't want to kill anyone, but it feel so good.

I hate myself, I am a monster nothing more. I deserve death.

I will not free my self from the curse, the pain will eventually kill me, avenging all those innocent i killed.
Please someone help me, I don't want to be like this. I don't want to be a killer
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2015, 07:44:51 PM »
I don't know what to think. Miss Vivenne would never lie to me I know it. Then why did she say that Aleyi is a bad man? He is always kind with me, he even helped me and Mister Don to take care of the wounded at the theatre.

I feel strange when I am with Aleyi, it's the first time I feel like that with someone, what is this feeling? I only it's good but I don't know what it's suppose to mean. I could talk to Miss Vivenne about it but she might ask me not to approach him again. I don't want that, I want to be with Aleyi again. He keep taking care of me, telling me I am strong, that I am a good person and that I can repay for what I did in the cave by helping other. He definitly isn't a bad man. I don't know why miss Vivienne and Miss Christine asked me to be careful. Maybe they were wrong, it must be that I know they wouldn't lie to me.

I feel better with him, why? I don't know, but I feel better the weight of my past seem lighter and easier to bare.  Maybe with him I can become someone better, a person who doesn't like killing
No that's not possible, I like to kill, I don't want to but it's stronger than me. I need to find a way to kill without making anyone suspicious. Maybe if I could go out of the city unnoticed I could go and kill a few farmer.
Yes, that's what I will do, I need to kill it's the only thing i can do anyway, that and torturing people. It's the only thing I have done, it's the only thing i can do.

For now I will kill a few stray dog, for the pleasure. I don't want to but I must, I like it, it's good, I feel better when I kill a bit like when I am with Aleyi...
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #9 on: March 12, 2015, 10:56:55 PM »
I almost died last night, it's the curse, I've change idea, I don't want it anymore I want to get rid of it. I want to stay with Aleyi. Vivienne and Christine were wrong about him, he is not a bad man.
He saved me from death last night. He help me every time I was in need of help, he keep cheering me up. Maybe he is right, maybe I can become a better person. But even though I could it would be too hard, I've done bad thing in the past I'm doing bad thing now and I probably will do bad thing in the futur.

I can still here the cries of the dog I killed tonight. I killed it slowly, little by little, enjoying the moment, cutting it slowly. It was good to see it in pain. My hand were covered in his blood and there was a small bit of his flesh on them too. All of this while he was still breathing. I cut his tail, broke his four leg cut small bit of flesh on him. I felt so good, I don't know why but it felt good. Not as good as killing the falkovnian during the war though. I need to learn how to hide and take victim by surprise. I really don't want to do this, it's not my fault. It's stronger then me, something is pushing me. It's like a voice in my head every night.

Once I learn how to hide I will be able to hunt. For I will need to satisfy my desire with the many stray dog roaming the city.

I'm disgusting, I hate myself, how can I even do that to these poor beast who can't even defend them selves. I want to stop but I can't, I can't stop it's too strong, that disgusting desire in me, it's too strong.

I want to change, for Vivienne and Christine who helped me when I arrived here. But mostly for Aleyi, he keeps helping me, encouraging me. He is a kind man, a good man. He told me he did bad thing in the past, if he changed maybe I can, one day I will change, for him.

I can't stop thinking about him, I dream about him every night now. Why? I feel strange with him, I feel good. I feel stronger. I want to stay with him for ever. He told me he would stay with me, I am happy, I don't want him to leave. I feel better when he is around. I am able to see a way out of this hell. Thank you Aleyi for making me feel like this.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2015, 01:06:55 PM »
I did it again yesterday, I killed a stray dog. I killed it slowly this time also. Why am I doing that? It's disgusting and yet I can't refrain myself from doing it.

I haven't seen Vivenne since the war against the Falkovnian. I hope nothing bad has happened to her. I don't was to lose my friends again. She probably went on a trip,... I hope it's only that, I can't wait to see her again. Nut when I see her, I will need to tell her about Aleyi, I can't lie to her. She asked me to stay away from him but I can't, he's nice with me. He is a good man. I will try to convince her that he can be trusted, Christine also.

What if Christine and Vivienne are right? What if Aleyi is just playing with me? No, it can't be, he is too good for that, he wouldn't lie to me, I trust him. He didn't hesitate to help me every time I was in difficulty.

About the dog, I need to stop, I can't kill these poor beast who can't even defend themselves against me. They are like me before Vivienne and Christine helped me, homeless and hungry. They just want a place to stay and a bit of food. I can change, I will help them at least I will try. For each dog I kill I will help one. It's still horrible but it's the best I can do. I need to kill, it's... I can't describe it, the feeling is too intense.

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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2015, 03:02:26 AM »
I went to Vallaki today, I did leather working, it's not easy but it's fun. I will go back to the port tomorrow, I want to see Aleyi. He must have look for all the day, he must be worried. I am sorry Aleyi for making you worried.
I haven't seen miss Vivienne today either, I hope she is fine.

I've killed many deer and stag today to gather the required resources for leather working. It's was good, I am a monster.

I miss my friend, I can't wait to see them again. Christine, Vivienne, Temperance and Aleyi. Specially Aleyi, why? I do not know, but I didn't saw him today nor yesterday and I feel like I haven't seen him in ages. I like him as much as Vivienne, Christine and Temperance, but there is something different. I don't know what, how, or why. The only thing I know is that I want to be with him. I want to be Aleyi and never leave him again.
Why, what is that strange feeling I have for him. I've never felt anything like this before. Should I talk to him about it? I don't know, maybe he'll think I am crazy? No he won't think that, he is to kind for that. But should I still talk about that to him? I don't think so, at least not now.

It's cold here in Barovia, I can't wait to be back at the port.

Also I a running low on money, I need be even more careful then before. Up to now I didn't had to pay the carriage since I was with other people. I don't now if I'll have the same luck next time. I will need to find a job, I can probably sell the stuff I made with leather. With time I'll get better and I'll be able to make even better product. I will be like my father, I will be a merchant. It's the only thing I remember about him, he was an excellent merchant. I will be like him in his memory. I'm sorry father, I have forgotten your name. Maybe someday I'll remember, I hope...
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2015, 03:07:57 PM »
I am back in the Port, it feel good to be here. I can't wait to see Aleyi again.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2015, 01:16:32 PM »
Mister Don offered me a job at the théatre. He said I wold need to take care of the guest and... I don't remember what else. He said I would be a usher. I finally found a job, I won't need to live in the street anymore. I can't wait to announce it to Miss Vivienne and Miss Christine. I hope miss Vivienne won't be angry at me. I was her assistant but she never gave me anything to do except spying on Aleyi. I trust Aleyi and I can't continue to spy on him like that. If miss Vivienne still need my help though I will help her. Her and miss Christine saved me from the street and took care of me. I will never forget what they have done for me.

The dreams have stopped since that night when mister Aleyi saved me. When I am with Aleyi the thing inside me that makes me want to kill fade away. I feel calm and relaxed. I want to stay with Aleyi and never leave him. He is always kind with me and saved me many time. He promised me he would stay with me too. Maybe with him I will also find a way to become normal, to hate killing.

Thank you Aleyi for helping me.

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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2015, 08:48:50 PM »
Why? Why is miss Vivenne disappointed. I did nothing wrong. Did I? I didn't saw her for two weeks, I know I am... was... her assistant but she is never there. I need to eat, if I don't any money I won't be able to eat. She never gave me any job... except watching Aleyi.

She didn't even came to talk to me after the play. I don't want to lose friends again. I don't want that, not again. I don't know what to do. Why is she angry?

I did nothing...

I don't want to lose miss Vivienne...
Please don't leave miss Vivienne... don't hate me...

I did nothing...

[dried tears mark can be seen on the page]
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #15 on: March 22, 2015, 12:08:05 PM »
I am now at Vallaki, I need to go away from the Port for a day. When I come back I will look for Miss Vivenne and talk to her.

I don't want to lose her...
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #16 on: March 22, 2015, 07:44:36 PM »
[dried tears mark can be seen on the page]

She is angry... she don't like me anymore... I don't know what to do. I'm not good with these thing. The way she spoke to me. It was like the master before, she was looking down at me. I am nothing, I am just a slave who escaped. I thought I was free, I thought I had friend. What about miss Christine, does she hate me too, like miss Vivienne.

They are like the master before, they just want to have fun, making me believe all sorts of thing. I'm stupid. I don't want to live anymore.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #17 on: March 22, 2015, 11:03:09 PM »
I don't know what to do, I am lost. I don't want to stay here where people look down on me. But if I leave, I will never the people I like again. Even after what happened with Miss Vivienne I still don't want to lose her. What should I do? Leave, stay?

I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave Aleyi. I have my work at the theatre. All my friends. Even thoughs I am sure most of them used me. I don't want to leave them. Why? Why can't I have a normal life.

I will stay for the moment and see how thing goes. If miss Vivienne keep looking down on me, I will leave. I don't want to remember her as someone who looked down on me. No more bad memory. I will remember her as someone good.

I was stupid to think I could be free one day

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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #18 on: March 23, 2015, 12:48:20 AM »
I think I was wrong, miss Vivienne isn't bad, the problem is me, I am stupid, I was mean with her I am so stupid. How could I think that she wanted to used me and that she looked down on me. She saved me from when no one was there and helped me. She taught me how to read and write.

What did I do, how could I be so mean with her. I hope she will pardon me. What I did was horrible. I imagined all of this and turned her into a monster while she was only caring for me. I am stupid. I can never hope to be a good person one day.

Pardon me miss Vivienne I was mean with you and I shouldn't have after everything you have done for me. Forgive me being so stupid and dumb.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #19 on: March 25, 2015, 12:02:44 AM »
Miss Ren is sick, she keep calling herself Rei and act as if she was a slave. It makes me remember about the cave. Being a slave is horrible. I've been one all my life. What have they done to miss Ren. I can't stand to see her like this. She's like me before, doing everything she is asked no matter what.

Maybe miss Vivienne could have a look at her, she is a good doctor she might be able to help miss Ren. She looks so sad when she's like that. There must be something we can do to help her.

I didn't see miss Vivienne today, I want to speak with her, I've been mean and what I did was horrible. I hope she will pardon me for what I did
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #20 on: March 25, 2015, 12:48:12 PM »
[This page is soak i blood and it seems like the one who wrote those few word had difficulty doing it]

Why... monster... Vivienne... hurt... she... monster... please... pardon... me... regret...


[The words are scratch a few hours late]
« Last Edit: March 25, 2015, 06:29:24 PM by Iluvatar »
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #21 on: March 26, 2015, 03:41:24 PM »
All of this is confusing, during the attack I clearly remember that it was miss Vivienne who attacked me, but miss Temperance told me there was now ay that it could have been miss Vivienne. Maybe someone casted a spell on me. I don't know what to think about this.

I need to talk with miss Vivienne anyway to make excuses for what I have done.

I was lucky to survive, the giant rat was eating me when I passed out. I thought it was the end. Miss Temperance found me and saved me. Without her I would have probably bled to death. Anyway, I will find out who attacked me, it can't be miss Vivienne. She is not a monster. When I find the real monster, I will end is life. I don't want to see innocent people die again. This won't pardon all the bad thing I have done in the past but at least I will help saving innocent life.

There is one thing I don't understand, why did the giant rat let me live?
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #22 on: March 26, 2015, 10:54:11 PM »
I think I disappointed Aleyi today. All this matter of gods and follower is stupid. I am not having anything to do with this anymore. If it's going to make my friend fight and argue over my choice then I won't make any.

I was scared Aleyi would leave, today after what happened. Everything is fine now. I don't want him to leave me. I want to stay with him until I die. I won't let anything get between us. I will note lose him for something stupid as religion. I like him, everyday I pass with him that feeling grows. I want to be with him, I want to be close to him. I don't know if I should tell someone about it, I'd like to talk about it with someone but who? I don't know who I can trust for that. Miss Christine and Miss Vivienne don't trust him. I fear that they will try to harm Aleyi thinking he is manipulating me if I speak about this with them. Maybe I should tell Aleyi?

Aleyi won't tell anyone and I trust him. I will speak to him about it when I find a good time.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #23 on: March 28, 2015, 08:11:28 PM »
Finally I found the word, I know how. I will tell him next time i see him. What is he going to think about it? I am scared, but at the same time i fee l excited. I've never feel like that before. It's a strange feeling, but it feel good.
 
I hope i will see him tonight.
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Re: Journal of an ex-slave
« Reply #24 on: March 30, 2015, 05:30:08 PM »
I decided to to tell Aleyi about it yestarday, I wasn't how he would react. But I'm glad I did, seemed happy about it. I feel relief to have told him. Every time I was with him I felt strange keeping it for me. He took it really well, I've never been this happy before. It couldn't have been better.

It's the first time I'm close to someone like this. It feel good to be with someone finally. I've been alone all my life, but now things have change. I can be happy, I can change, I can be a better person. He will help me, I'm sure.

Thank you for staying with me Aleyi
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