Lunzia Tamzin - a journal of remembrance.

[ILLY6666]

Again I left come morning,
leaving you to rest upstairs.

I met Ama and a few face,
a guardian of the forest like Nelie.

Corrick I believe his name was,
he had a wolf pup with him.

Me and Ama then went to the outskirts,
I wanted to check the goods on the Vistani.
But we never got so far.

Instead we talked with Lowe, Nyver and Dag.
Who turned up before we were chased away.

We intended to gather a group,
and try the Tergian ruins again.

I still wish to explore them,
perhaps come closer to understanding,
how whey were defeated,
and why there are vampires.

We never go so far, because a lot of mist rolled in.
Like a cold hand snuffing a candle,
the trees and area around the temple was covered with it.

We hid inside the temple, and mi Luna showed up.
We spent the night talking with Ama and Bastian,
also a new face.

He was suspicious and wary of me,
but curious at the same time.

I worry about Nelie.
She is incredibly homesick.
I can only hope she finds enough comfort,
as she spends time with us.

Come morning me and Luna departed towards the hut.
Though we only got half way before, stopping.
For a little bit.

We had also come across an ox, without an owner.
And despite our attempts to find such, we did none.

So we finished the delivery to the Lodge and finally reached the hut.
Luna is really improving fast with her brewing.
Could she possibly find a solution for the Lunatio cures soon?
At least figure out how they are made.

Before we went to sleep, she spoke of that she needed time.
Time alone as she was used to such for so long.
I could only wish that she finds what she was looking for.

She told me that she loves me,
that I should never forget that.

Come morning she was gone.

I can't help but to feel a knot in my stomach.
And a hole in my heart.

I just woke up but it already feels as it's been too long.

Sothi nuinqua tsalarioth, mi Luna.

[ILLY6666]

The next day I heard commotion come dusk,
foolish as I can be with my curiosity, I followed.

Eventually I caught up to Skald and his companions,
who had just gone below into the Tergian ruins.

A few new faces, as well.
Taiven, or Cherry as I call her now.
Ethel, a young magess.
Ruby, another young magess who had abandoned her given name.

Of course, a part from Skald, there was Jackie and Nyver,
Winston and Elias.

We ventured fourth bravely, without much opposition.
Then the voices started, clearly we were trespassing.

It told us of our deaths and dooms, but we pressed on.
Fought many giant constructs and eventually beings I've never seen before.
It was rather terrible and frightening, but I had no time to be afraid.

A ranger acts, when others can not.

Ruby had it the worst, the strain of the whispers were too much.
The others did not really care much about her,
or perhaps they just saw I took care her myself.

Either way, I risked my own well being for her a couple times.
Trying to shake sense into her, as she was paralyzed with fear.

But I never let myself fall, I could not.

Nicoleta Von Zarovich, is a statue I found.
Of a woman in armor.
A general princess who defeated the Neureni.
A plural for neuri?

Eventually things got bad, very fast.
I used all the potions given by my sweet Luna to save who I could.
We were separated and some had fallen.

The strangest things started to happen when copies of the fallen,
likely an illusion, started to show up and attack us.

We had gathered all the bodies and the gold I got myself.
I counted roughly over ten thousand fang that were not mine.
But I gave them all back when I could, every single coin.

Let it be known, I am not a thief.

We fought neuri through the night and eventually got the temple.
Everyone was safe and I spent the night talking to Cherry mostly.

She likes fish, and was born in a cozy little town in the Silver Marches.
Apart from some annoying half-orc who tried to steal my ox,
nothing more excited happened.

Come dawn she helped me take the ox me and Luna found to the warehouse.
I insisted on paying her for the effort, even if she first refused.

Then I set off to Degannwy, after talking with Sorin.
Also showering him with some pelts and gold.

I bought some bracers from the Vistani.
They are fashioned with vampire fangs,
to ward off undead somewhat.
Not to mention the snake-skin boots I got from Sorin.

After my night at Degannwy, I decided to head to The Sullen forest.
Somebody had left behind a trail of shadows and I manged to get some herbs.

Exiting, I went close to the herbalist hut.
I could smell the brewing and my heart raced.

Could my Luna have returned, if only briefly to brew?

I knew it could not have been, and I was right.
It was a very young girl by the name of Ilinca.
She had an Balok accent and I departed after brief exchange of words.

I gathered a lot of meat and decided to leave it in the temple.
So that those who were not able to, or did not know how,
could enjoy some freshly cooked venison.

So many faces.

It makes me happy that many view me as a friend.
That even more tolerate my presence.

My Luna.

Do you think of me?
Wherever you are.

It hurts more because I know not where.

I know not when, or if you'll even return.

I can only wait. And wait I shall.

[ILLY6666]

The day began with Skald and his companions.
We decided to best the undead outpost in the woods.
Though this turned out to be entirely unfruitful.

So we turned to the large peaks and mountains instead.
It was my first time seeing show to this extent.
Thay regulates the weather with magic, so it never snows.

We head inside a cave of ice, rock and crystal.
Fighting iced mummies and crystal skeletons.
The skeletons explode violently when they are defeated.

John, Skald, Nyver, Jackie, Nelie and me.

Despite a few close calls, we remained victorious.
Eventually we went even deeper.

The cave was entirely out of ice, and quite vast at that, high and far.
My beautiful Moon's potions were very useful, as always.

One of our foes were children.
Not actual children, but some kind of spirits.
I expressed a concern when I had to cut one.
But was strangely met with all kinds of explanations,
as to why the various people in our group were alright with this.

How quaint, I thought.

We stumbled upon a magical sphere, a giant crystal ball.
Of course, instead of letting a scholar such as I look at it first.
People ran up and decided to touch the thing.

I could see it was a bad idea before they even did,
and right I was as at the slightest touch,
the ball sends a strong pulse of magical cold.
Then they somehow managed to trigger it a few more times.

I never got the time to examine it properly before Nelie did too.
And my last attempt to, was hindered by calling, to unlock chests.

I got a lot of good things out of this excursion.
A protective ring. A cloak of the cheetah.
A ring to protect from negative energies.
An actual lock-pick. And parrying gloves.

We turned back and faced no opposition.

We met an elf by the name of Serafaye,
picking herbs near the outskirts.
And then continued inside the temple.

It was strange to enter a place,
and see so many familiar faces.

I was at a loss for a moment.

I tried to greet everyone I could.
And I think I managed to give everyone a bit of my attention.

I was glad to see Ruby alright.
That ordeal was traumatizing for her.
But she seemed fine for now.

I spoke more extensively with Cherry.
She expressed a worry to suffer from some kind of chronic amnesia.
I tried to comfort her best I could, and told her she may speak with me anytime.

Come morning, me, Dag and John went to mine iron.
I really feel I have improved, as I fought spiders with little fear.

I have some arrowheads now, sitting and writing in the very shaky halls.
I will have to put them to use come morning, when I go back to Degannwy.

The full moon is upon us, and you are not here.

I try to comfort myself with the thought,
that you had survived for six years.
All alone and you looked fine when I first found you.

But I know how you become, and I still worry.

I try to be patient.

But my heart is a wolf, trying to break from a steel cage.

Mi Luna, come back and shine for me once more.

[ILLY6666]

I found her.

Just about as she was about to attack Serafeye,
I managed to pull Luna away and asked Serafaye to leave.
She complied.

I could not reach her.

My words bounced like wooden arrows of a wall,
she was too feral, too wild and too lost.

She over powered me and pinned me to the ground,
I don't know which is worse of the two.

The fact she bit my cheek and drew blood,
or the fact I had to hurt her to push her back.

I somewhere found the resolve to do such,
and forced the Lunatio potion down her throat.

She came to her senses,
as sadness and regret overtook her face.

I only realized after, that the blood from my cheek,
was spilling onto hers, as she woke up from the affliction.

I am sorry.

Somehow, I manged to carry her all the way to Degannwy.
Sobbing as she were, clinging tightly to myself.

She was not her full self, she was not Leta.
She was Luna, her afflicted self.

And I realized painfully how little I know about Lunatio.
I must expand my theory further.

There is Leta, her unafflicted self.

Next is what I thought to be two stages of the same.
The calm and the wild Luna.

But such is not the case.

Even in her more calm, Luna-phase.
She talked about a She.

That she, herself, could not outrun her moon self.

This suggest that instead of two personalities,
she has three, and that troubles me greatly.

My heart cried, red tears.

When you spoke that you feel unworthy of me.
I had to rewind and listen to those words,
again and again in my head.
Before I actually believed what you just said.

My heart is yours, forever.

I will not abandon you, no matter how much it hurts.

No matter how much you hurt me.

If not for the lunatio potion,
I might have ended up like the doe she gutted
and had torn the head off.

With its blood, she wrote a single thing LUNA-TIO.

She asked me to not call her Luna anymore,
at least not while she's afflicted I assume.

What further supports my thesis of three personalities,
is that she let me be close, and asked me to help her forget.

Normally she does not let anyone touch her.
Perhaps, she was stable enough from the potion to think clearly.
Perhaps she just felt so broken she needed the comfort.

I felt reluctant to share Union with her, when she was like that.
When her whole kith'pah - her soul, was so wrecked with sadness and pain.

But she begged me, with quiet whispers as she wrapped herself around my body.

Who am I to deny her.

[ILLY6666]

Come morning, I had left the bed with her still in it.
I needed some time to think, I can't do so around her.
What I feel becomes a haze and I find myself unfocused.
But not always.

I gathered some beech to finally try my hand with the iron arrowheads.
I managed that quite excellently, wasting none of them.

I had much less luck with the composite longbows and barrels.
Leta had come down by then, and watched me work.

I gave her the ring of protection.
A seemingly simple golden band.
Perhaps you realized it meant more,
perhaps not.

So I would protect you, when I am away.

We head the to the Hut near Sullen woods.
We were attacked by three really big worgs.

They almost gutted me on the spot, as I fought them.
A lot of bleeding and running around later, two of them were dead.
The third we never saw again.

She brewed through the night and then we slept.
Come morning we head to our usual hideaway.

We spoke a great deal about Lunatio once there and in between.
I was wrong with my hypothesis of three personalities.

None the less, she asked me to tie her up next time.
I reminded her that there are complications tying anyone up for Three days.
We agreed to seek wisdom with the rest of the Varin'ursa.

Loves makes you speak poetry, whether you are one or not.

And you say beautiful things, Lai Samaa.
(Pronounced; Le-i Sa-ma-a)
Your new name, My Sky.

For if I am to be your Sun, you are the very Sky I sit upon.
Without you, I would fall into the abyss of darkness.

I spoke with Brynjar the next morning, leaving you to rest.
Telling him about the cursed excursion to Shadowbourne manor.
But I did not complain, for it was there, I was given my first piece of hope.

[ILLY6666]

It's been a few days.
Several days even, since I last wrote.

Since then I've lead a large group to fight spiders,
though I told myself, never again, with such a large group.

Or only if we are to dedicate a leader beforehand,
so that everyone would know when to be quiet.

A second similar excursion proved more stable,
with Skald, Thorsten and Sten, Dag and Roth and I forget.

I got myself a orb of the mist.

It's not much more complicated than a glass sphere,
with mists, as if living, swirling inside of it, tirelessly.

The instructions are to break it near a dead person,
and the mist will enter their lungs, bringing them back.

This offers some interesting insight on what the mist just is.

How is it connected to the bigger scheme of things?

Everyone claims to be brought here by it,
yet at the same time it brings back the dead.

It's almost like some kind of planar mechanic,
both good and evil, lawful and chaotic in nature.

Maybe we are on a plane of mists or domain of such.
I must begin my inve   

I can't say I have an interest in finding a way back.
If there even is one, to start off with.

But perhaps, if not for myself, for such as Nelie.

Dag asked recently when we'll have cubs.
Cleverly playing off the name of Varin'ursa.

I admit I panicked a little at the thought.
Considering my blood and hers,
what would become of it?
If anything at all.

After the more chaotic expedition,
I felt somewhat failed as a leader.

But both Nelie and my Sky brought me back up.
I must almost admit Nelie spoke the most of it.

Perhaps it's the effect of being somebody else,
than the person you love, who needs to tell these things.
Since you somehow assume your love will always say good things.

None the less, I will take their words into deep consideration.

Do what I can, but bother not with fools that waste their lives.

Don't spread yourself thin.

Was the essence of what was said.

Me and my Sky have been spending a lot of time lately.
Passion seems to run strongly in us both.

We saved Lowe recently, trapped in a hobgoblin cave.
Also where we got to show the eerie synergism of me and my Sky.

The next day, we came across bandits.
While I tried to speak reason, they would see none.

This is the first time I've killed, in droves.
It weighted heavily upon my heart to do such.

My blade will weep crimson for you,
as I can not.

My training kicked in, the few years I managed to absorb.
It felt like an elaborate dance, a dance of death.

As I leaped around, avoiding arrows and blades.
With crimson strokes and violent stabs.
I almost felt an artist.

My Sky stayed behind and filled everyone else with arro-

[ILLY6666]

My Sky stayed behind and filled everyone else with arrows.

We head to Sullen woods in search of ashwood.
We found none, but stumbled upon a bridge.
With a gate that was locked, but we climbed it.

The camp was abandoned, but seemingly tended for.
Judging from the tents, it could house about 20-30 people.

Some ruins serve a really good overlook,
to the entrance to the camp.

There is a path that leads to the river, and ends abruptly.
We suspect there was once a bridge there, but what happened?
Perhaps there is no bridge longer for a reason.

The area shows sign of a possible landslide.

We found Dag after that, showed him the camp as well.
Perhaps, it could be a home for the Varin'ursa.

Then we fought skeletons in a cave.
We managed, but very narrowly at a point.

I have another scar to show for it.
The skeleton swung wildly, but accurately.
As I tried running away through a door.

The swing was so powerful it tore my cloak and clothes,
not to mention a decent chunk out of my back.

It's amazing it didn't simply sever my spine at this point.
Somehow, I survived, and Dag held them while my Sky,
spilled healing potions on my wounds.

After that, we bested the rest of them and were completely victorious.

I had observed a negative trap, and could not disarm it.
But a skeleton stepped on it and it looked to absorb the negative energy.
Could it be, that all negative energy fuels them?

Would that mean that any negative and enfeebling magic, makes them stronger?
If one were to follow the theory of this polar opposite energies.
It would be interesting to get a few negative traps,
injure skeletons and make them run into the traps.

If they are restored, I have had fully proved my hypothesis.
Perhaps just get a mage that can fling the same kind of energy at them?

I have heard tale of a woman in white clothes and armor, scabbard at her side.
That she has been spreading hateful words of horned men in the outskirts.
I am not the lone one, but one of few. Better keep an ear out for that.

A new face of some interest, an elf wizard by the name of Thralduil.
He was curious about the Varin'ursa. And myself.
But such talks we spared for another time, I am curious about what he wants to know.

With all the oak we got, after raiding the undead outpost in the forest,
I have improved when it comes to woodworking.

Mara, a Sunite priestess, another face of some curiosity.
Bold and unhindered like many of her ilk.

After that, me and Skal'ris came across three women.
Ethel, Chala and Sigrud.

They were worried about a friends lost somewhere on the road to Krofburg.
They feared that bears had gotten her, or some other wildlife.

Being a forest-walker, it was my duty to assist or protect them.
I lead them over the various bridges and hills.

We found the body of their friend, and another.
Sigrud had turned back at the time.

Eventually we reached Krofburg and I offered to pitch in three hundred fang.
They raised their friend, who instantly came back to life.
But the other woman was not so lucky.

I suggested that they take on light deliveries back to Vallaki,
so that they could cover the costs of the revival.

And that they could pay me whenever it was appropriate.

The friends name was Chloé, from Richemulot.
Who showed some frustration when my guess was if she's from Dementilue.
Though with her accent, am I really to blame?

I lead them back, but the sun had already long hid behind the mountains.
We were at the copper quarry when I, for a last time,
offered a nearby shelter from the night.

They chose to depart and head into the sewers,
their true aim was the accursed temple in the outskirts.

Seeing as I had no intentions of going there, or the sewers.
I bid them best of luck and departed to my hideaway.

I am somewhat happy they didn't come along.
As my Sky showed up only hours later.

You must truly be the sky,
for your beauty is as wast and endless,
and I will endlessly be lost in you.

[ILLY6666]

Does not remember:
- Degannwy
- Why she's bound
-

Remembers:
- Manor
- Tent bandits
- Biting
- Mother (cannibalism?)

Who are you?
- Unresponsive

What are you?
- Unresponsive.

What is your name?
- Leta-Basha

What makes you think that?
- Leta's body.

Hungry! Why?
- meat

How can you already be hungry?
- Wants to hunt.

Who's Kith'pah is inside?
- Luna, moon spirit.

Where is Leta's kith'pah?
- Unknowing.

Why is Luna in Leta's body?
- She is in sky.

Why did Luna start taking over Luna's body?
- With puberty.

Does Luna do it by her own will?
- She makes Luna

Who is She?
- (The moon?) she nodded.

Is there a way to stop her?
- No.

"Gives life, to hunt, to be free"
Why?
- The Father

The father?
- Does all to those of Vistani blood.

[ILLY6666]

My previous notes concern the questioning of Luna.
 
If I were to believe Luna, she is a spirit.
That takes a hold of Leta's body.

This possibility is supported by how even I,
am not to touch her when she's Luna.

Also the great change in behavior.
Not to mention the split memories.

Then again, this could be some kind of personality split.
But I fear the evidence points towards a supernatural effect.

I had interrogated Luna like a wild animal.
Tied her up to a chair and forced the answers out of her.

Somewhere before that, in her whimpering and crying,
I had lost myself.
Reverted to my Thayan days.

When I was nothing but Irthus tool,
a loyal lab-assistant making notes,
and poking at the various experiments,
as ordered.

I think it was a defense mechanism of my mind.
I could not bear the whimpering as I was,
the crying and the begging to release her.

At least it proved effective,
as I got a lot of answers out of her.

But it hurts.

I love Leta, some terribly much.
Eternally. Beyond death. Through it all.

At the same time, I grow to resent Luna.

I grow to despise the moon and her.

She was grinning.

That condescending, knowing, grin.
When I asked her if the moon could be stopped.
If there was a way to stop her from taking Leta's body.

I had made an agreement with her.
I would allow an help her to hunt animals,
if she would listen to me and not act out of place.

I threatened with that others, stronger than me,
would more or less put her down if she misbehaved.

And I did control her during the day.
Still being my cold and callous self.
I treated her like a wild animal I was to tame.

During the night she snapped though,
I am not sure as to why.

Perhaps fueled by the glowing moon,
and the bear she had so thirstily drank blood from.

I knocked her out.

I had to beat her with the flat side of my blade,
before she simply gave up and fell unconscious.

I tied her up and dragged her to Degannwy.
There Dag helped me watch over her.

And all that I had done my poor Leta,
caught up with me.

Like a slow, creeping, red mist.

The realization washed over me, of how I had treated her.

If not for Dag's words, I might have snapped.

You do what was necessary,
she would understand.

I used the Lunatio potion so she could sleep.
And the strangest thing happened.

When the potion should have lost its effect.
Luna never came, not during the evening or night.

And eventually, Leta regained full control.
Was Luna afraid? Had Leta held her back?

We have the restraining jacket now.
It'll be easier next time.
And hopefully, I won't be alone this time.

Leta describes the transition to Luna as a tug.
As if somebody is forcefully taking her spirit out of her.
And then it all goes dark.

Luna claims they switch places.
I will have to question her again.
At the next full moon.

A few days ago, Ama had gone missing.
I found Skald with a small warband and asked for a favour.

Luckily, we found Lowe near the lodge with her body.
He was so tired, having carried her from atop the mountain.
We were all so thankful, and I invited him to be part of the Varin'ursa.

Our symbol is a paw, of no specific colour.
That has been decided.

I am to practice inking on hides, after Dag makes me a proper needle.
And then we are to tattoo the symbol of our Clan, our tribe, on ourselves.

A few days ago we also went to the monastery.
At the end it was just me, Skald, Jackie and Leta.

We faced the last room with low odds and  came out on top.
We are likely the two most dangerous couples in all of Vallaki.

Though I was so drained at the time, I collapsed mid-fight.
With a little healing I was up on my feet again and we conquered the last foe.

But the ghosts have left their scar.
I noticed a gray streak in my hair.

Make me look a little older than I am, but otherwise I feel fine.

Last night we were attacked by the forest itself outside of Degannwy.
We have approached Degannwy about this and offered assistance.

We suspect some kind of fungi can be the root of the problem,
and as such will seek samples of it in the dwarven mines.

Souxie, Natham, Ovkral, Nelie, Lowe, Sorin, Leta, Jackie.

[ILLY6666]

I am a monster.

More accurately, a monster resides within me.
A monster Irthus created, or perhaps it was always there.
And all he did was to draw it out.

I feel it.
Each time I give into rage, anger, hate.

I keep doing these horrible things to you, Leta.
Because somewhere, it's been easier to accept,
that Luna isn't you. That you are two separate beings.

With the lack of blood, Luna was unusually clear minded.
The tried the same mind tricks I've known forever.

Only that eventually, she broke through.

I hate you with passion, Luna.

I want to wrap my hand around your thr

Your words are my only salvation, Leta.
Only by them, can I in any way accept this.

She can't be right, I won't let her.
I love you, and that's a fact.
I know love. I do. You are WRONG.

You are the one that knows none.
You are the evil that resides within her.

I won't let you win next time.
Because I have disproved your claims.

I told Leta everything and the accepts it.
She trusts me with body and soul.

But how did she know?
How did she know that I call Leta, My Sky.
As she slowly reverted to Leta, that's what she said.
But I didn't notice at first.

Only later, when Leta was asleep.
The words shook my being like an earthquake.
Could you truly be part of Leta?

I am torn, conflicted, split.

Never shown you love.

That's what you said, Luna.
But you have never given me a reason to.
Your words fall flat in hindsight.

But sure, I will entertain you next time.
And you will prove me wrong.
You will prove to be unworthy of any affection.
I will prove you are the monster.

Or perhaps, albeit you hate when I call you so;
Victim of the moon.
Perhaps you are.

Perhaps that's why you act so wild, so eager to break free.
I will give you a chance. A chance to prove me wrong.
For Leta's sake, not yours, Luna.

We are currently in the wizard tower up the northern mountains.
The trip was hard and cold.
I finally med Zsadist, the tiefling I've been told about.

His body tells a tale. The scars, the marks.
Even his way of speaking.
He has experienced the darkness of Thay, first hand.

Perhaps he could tell me what my tattoos mean.
Assuming he knows how to read the incantations of Red Wizards.
Perhaps, it'll take one to truly understand what they do.

The woman there, the owner, Athina.
Offers healing potions for vampire teeth.

They built the tower to study magic away from Barovians,
and to fight the countless undead and vampires of the realm.

This was a good trip.

Leta's words even there, filled me with conviction again.
Washed away my sorrows, my pain, my regret.

Like tracks in the sand, with each passing wave.

As I promised, Leta. I will never leave you.

May my wretched soul be thrown into the abyss,
and be tortured for all eternity by Orcus himself - if I do.

[ILLY6666]

Last Lunatio has been the most successful one.
At the same time, the strangest so far.

The first night, Luna didn't appear.
And me and Leta spent the whole day together.

Only on day two, as we shared union, she changed.
I realized this as soon as I noticed her usual crazed eyes.
And I tried to pull away.

Luna, who otherwise has been so reluctant at form of touching.
Didn't let me... and bit into my neck, drawing blood.
She overpowered me and forced me onto the floor.

After some heated discussion,
I managed to convince her to get off me.

She had craved that I mated with her.
But I could not comply, it felt wrong.
Even if it's Leta's body.

But she was not content at simply letting it be.
So I agreed to pleasure her, if she would behave after.

Her motivations were that it was something new,
that she had never been with anyone before.
That she wanted to feel what Leta has felt.

She explained during the following days,
that when she's hungry, meaning,
the does not get to feed on blood,
she get glimpses of Leta's memories,
like in a dream.

So she knew of my promises,
of the affection I show Leta,
of the feelings Leta feels for me.

Which bring her a great deal of confusion.

Previously, she had always fed and never knew about this.
But now, as I've starved her of blood several times,
she has gotten a glimpse of a lot.

My heart shed all hate for her.
And was instead filled with pity.

She suffers, greatly.

To the point she broke down in tears, several times.
And it breaks my heart. Leta or Luna.
I can't just sit by idly and watch her like that.

So I held her close, all of the times.
Tried my best to comfort her.

And as much as my mind knows it's Luna and not Leta.
My poor confused body, can't tell them apart.

Honestly, at the end of those days, my mind struggled as well.

I let her feed again on the last day, on my blood.
And offered a massage to calm her down,
as the blood obviously makes her very flustered.

I gave her a massage and some time later,
she broke down again, crying, wailing.

I held her close for hours, as she previously begun to beat the ground.
Her knuckles were bleeding, and I simply could not let her continue.

So I held her.

She confessed all the pain she felt.
All the sorrow, all the hurt.

She wanted me to speak of her as part of Leta.
That they were the same person.

That Luna was simply another piece of the whole.

She wanted me to love her, as I love Leta.

At the end of it, she tried to mate with me again.
For all the pity for her sorrow, the days we'd spent talking.
For all the confused sensations my body felt.

I simply froze.

My mind screamed of how wrong this was.
But my body would not respond.

Little time passed, before Leta took over again.
As we were pressed against each other.

The pity became guilt, and as Leta passed out from exhaustion, so did I.

The next morning we spoke about it all.
I explained what had happened in all truthfulness.

To my surprise, and shameful relief, Leta was not angry.
Or disappointed or mad.

She was relieved herself that Luna could be calmed like this.
Saying I should appease to Luna, if it meant that I would not be hurt.

I must admit I listened to her trying to convince me of this,
with a great manner of disbelief, internally.

While I could have turned all of Luna's advances down.
The thought of that she would escape,
and seek somebody else to fill her needs,
was what made me afraid.

I feel torn, conflicted, confused.

Could I really love Luna as I do Leta?
Can I really bring myself to do this?

Whatever the answer is to that.

I feel sorry for her, deeply.
We curse the moon for the three days it steals from us.

Yet she only has those three days to live.

She wants freedom, intimacy, love.
Like anybody else.

I was wrong to do the horrible things I did to her.
I was wrong to treat her the way I did.

Love or not, I will treat her with kindness from here on forth.

[ILLY6666]

[This post contains spoilers on the book "The Abridged history of Barovia" and a journal inside the ML temple in the village.]

Spoiler: show

Barovia, the center of what is the core.
At least, that's what I'm lead to believe.

The Abridged history of Barovia.

BC, Barovian Calendar.
It all starts at 230 BC.

When the people barbaric people known as Neureni,
came over the Balok mountains to invade and raze Barovia.

They managed to destroy most of Barovia,
before General-Princess Nicoleta von Zarovich drove them back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Side note: A statue of her can be found in the so called,
"Terg ruins" that are full of vampires and constructs.
The underground complex is found north-west of lake Zarovich.
A passage hidden near a ruined tower, with six graves.
The one on the far left.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

After the Neureni were driven back,
there were eight decades of peace and prosperity.

That is, before the houses of Dilisnya, Katsky, and Petrovna,
began then "War of the silver knives" in 314 BC
Barovia was greatly weakened by this.

Count Barov von Zarovich intervened and put an end to it.
But only four years later, 320 BC, the Tergs invaded.
They sought to conquer, instead of destroy like the Neureni.

It took them five years to displace most Barovian nobility.
Including that of the Zaroviches.

But Strahd the first, eldest son of Barov von Zarovich,
swore to drive out the Tergs and rebuild Barovia
so he did, twenty-seven grueling years later.

In the memory of his mother, Ravenovia.
He build castle Ravenloft.

351 BC, a wedding was held between Serghei, Strahds youngest brother.
And Tatyana, origins unknown. But assassins struck.

Known as the Ba'al Verzi, supposedly led by Leo Dilisnya.
The assassins murdered all the guests, Strahd and Serghei.
Only the brother of the two, Sturm Zarovich, survived.
According to this book.

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Side note: Yesterday I came across a journal of Van Richten,
documenting Strahd's account of it.

Tatyana survived the ordeal, and Strahd tried comforting her.
But before long, she threw herself off the overlook of Castle Ravenloft.
Hear death sparked a power struggle within the castle.
As the so called, agents of treachery tried to kill Strahd, but failed.
Since then, Stahd has ruled in silence from the castle.

But the journal speaks of Strahd, not Sturm who supposedly survived.
And then later took the name of Strahd. Maybe this is an account,
some time after the wedding.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The abridged book states that all rulers within the Zarovich family take on the name Strahd,
to honor the man who freed Barovia from the grasp of the Tergs.

But also that they all look the same as Stahd, trough the centuries.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Side note: I believe that this Leo was collaborating with Sturm,
who hungered for power and had everyone murdered.
He made Leo a scapegoat and Tatyana found out somehow.
This caused him to kill her under the guise of suicide.

If he loved and wanted her for himself, this would explain her survival.
A survival taken out of account in the regular history books.
History has clearly been manipulated, as it often is in situations like these.

Additionally, Stahd or Sturm, it's hard to determine who is the real one.
Has somehow gained immortality, and lived through the centuries.
If they all look the same, and he's ruled in silence,
this would be the perfect cover for my theory.

All of this has supposedly cast a curse on Barovia.
Perhaps it's rather the darkness of this act, or a ritual,
responsible for the supposed curse.

Perhaps he had to sacrifice all those people to gain immortality.  
I think of Thay, where such things were, not unthinkable.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Following the wedding massacre, is when the mists began to show up.

This supports the idea of something ritualistic.

As it then says in the Abridged History of Barovia:

Strahd's heirs have become increasingly despotic,
seizing control from the nobles until they had all but disappeared from Barovia.

This supports my theory of powerplay, and possible immortality.

470 BC the Vistani showed up in Barovia, coming out of the mists.
Strahd IV declared their lives sacrosanct, which has one assume this was for a price.

542 BC, a wizard by the name of Azalin emerged from the mist.
And supposedly struck an alliance with the Zaroviches.

550 BC, the precursor to the Great Upheaval began.

579 BC, the alliance between the Azalin and the Zaroviches ended.

Every couple of decades, for  the past centuries, has revealed new lands.
That or it has completely vaporized others.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Side note: The wedding, immortality, Strahd, the Mists, The Vistani, The Wizard.
They are all connected, the more I read the more certain I become.
The wedding is the starting point and everything snowballs from there.

This research is dangerous, very dangerous.
The kind where either you are a part of the plot,
or you are dead.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ILLY6666]

A few cycles have passed.

Luna grows more irritated,
with the lack of my acknowledgement,
that she is in in fact a part of Leta.

She resists the urge for blood quite successfully,
and with that reasons with clarity and insight.

She behaves like an intelligent but uneducated child,
she lacks moral and ethics and acts in impulse.
Not to mention in such ways that yield quick rewards and satisfaction.

Educating her, triggers her more often than not.
But I will keep trying.

If I can guide Leta towards Luna,
and Luna towards Leta.
Perhaps they'll find their own compromise.
One that will befit all.

But with it, there are dangers.
What happens if they mix?

What happens when whatever border between them breaks?

We've began to travel away from our hiding spot.

Apart from an incident in the morning lordian crypt, she has behaved.
But as far as I understand was that hunger had overtaken her.

I had for a while theorized on what would happen,
if Leta, while out of the cycle drank blood herself.

If Luna was drive more wild with, and less without.
How would it in fact affect Leta?

So we tried, I used my own blood.
Hoping the potency of it would yield results, even at lower quantities.

Two mouthfuls was enough to yield effect beyond my expectation.
She saw flashes of the last cycles and eventually of her mother.

She still struggles with accepting Luna, but that is not a surprise.
As she said it herself, if she accept Luna as a part of her,
she must accept that she killed her own mother.