A Celtic's Journey

[Syl]

The moon was high as its light shined down upon the roofs of the village, looking out over the empty street Monica sat down behind a chimney resting her head against it. She could hear the wolves howling in the night from all around the village; as the howls echoes slowly fell silent, Monica removed a series of gears, wires, plates and cogs from a trap kit. She found herself more and more putting them together and taking them apart as time went on. She knew the basic ins and outs of them to removing them and recovering them completely.

She didn’t know why she enjoyed working on them, perhaps it was her own way to disconnect from the world around her as she sat there listening to the gears click together as she slowly turned them. Perhaps she did it to keep herself trained in them while she waited for him to return and finally say it’s time. She wished that time would finally come, but she also knew she had to be patient. Her ears twitched as she listened to the wire tighten along the base of the trap wrapping it around each peg readying her first trap only to quickly dismantle it and set the pieces away before pulling out a different kit.

These traps would seem far more primitive but they worked just as well she could not recover all the useful pieces of the original trap for it was there attached to the wall and floor around the sarcophagus, however what she did remove with some work was a clear glass tube no then the length half the length of her forearm. If it was the first one she had ever seen she would have made the mistake of guessing it for being empty but now she knows. Monica remembers the first time she seen this trap go off, she was not skilled enough to disable them at the time but she only had to see once what they did. There was a plate in front of the door that someone stepped on and shortly after that she heard the crack as if something broke only to see a gas seep out from a few holes in the wall and just in front of the door as it quickly spread into a wide area. Though crude it was very effective for many breathed in the toxic gas and became weak and sick.

Shifting the glass tube as she held it up towards the moon’s light she could see the faint colored cloud inside swirling, waiting for its case to be broken and seep out. It was a very deadly gas and she knew she had to be careful with such.  Setting it now takes ingenuity and skill for one would have to improvise on how to free the gas from the container. As she stared at the poisonous gas Monica could hear the whispers in the back of her mind. Her mental shadow quizzing her on the old poisons she was shown and taught, shaking her head all she could do is stare at the glass tube and wonder just how old the poisonous gas is.

Packing up her tap kits for the rest of the night still holding the glass tube, Monica rest her head against the chimney looking up at the moon and found herself missing the training more and more as the nights passed.  She didn’t know why she just did, they were different then what she was use to for life so then, why did she enjoy the training? Why did she wish for more?

[Syl]

She didn’t know what drove her to risk the night these last few nights. Climbing onto the roofs and looking up at the blood moon with its eerie red glow illuminating the world below it. Monica was troubled by the fact she has not seen her loved one for many days now and she began to worry, hearing the talk and rumors of a bounty did not help her any it only added to her worry. But she knew he was smart and strong and could find a way back to her.

Sitting down on the roof she removed her quill and paper, her mind drifting to a more unsettling thought as she looked back on her life up to now, this thought; this, question that she has avoided time and time again finally found its way back into her life.

“Am I just as bad as them for allowing it?” Her voice was as loud as the softest whisper only for it to be snatched away by the wind.  Picking up her quill and dipping it Monica took a deep breath gathering her thoughts as she began to write.

[Old Nordic Runes]

I look back through these pages and I have seen how far I have come, how much I have grown. I can recall ever adventure I have been on, every exploration I have done with my friends. My friends; I never thought I would ever question yet instead I find myself now questioning not them, but myself. They have all been here longer then me and have done what they have needed to in order to survive; they know I do not enjoy the idea of killing another. Nor will I, but I travel with them and yet they are the ones that do the killing. I wish there was not all this killing going on in the world I am in right now I wish I had the strength to make it all stop. And no matter how hard I push this question away; no matter how deep I try and bury the question it always comes back. Am I just as bad as my friends for traveling with them and allowing them to kill?

I feel terrible for allowing such and they know I don’t yet why? WHY DO I STILL FOLLOW THEM!? I hate it, I hate the fact I am too weak to stop the needless killing; I do not steal from the dead, and yet I have traveled with others who wished me to remove the traps and locks on sealed stone coffins where the dead seem to be laid to rest. But I do not remove such, it’s wrong to steal from the dead and so I leave them untouched I leave the traps on there and sealed.

Yet I still travel with them; knowing that they put themselves in these positions where they allow themselves to fight and kill other humans, fae, dwarfs, and other races just for their own survival. I hate it, I feel more alone now more than ever. I’m glad my friends are still alive and I wish to do other things with them and yet I know they may head to a place where they are going to kill people.

Setting her quill in the ink well Monica looked up again at the blood moon as it rests high in the night sky, she could feel her mental shadow stirring in her mind as she thought about this question only to hear it laugh at her. “Please… just go away right now; I’m not in the mood.” Closing her eyes she could still picture the darker side sitting on its shadowy throne patiently waiting as Monica picked up her quill again and resumed writing.

It saddens me that the only comfort I feel right now is by the mere presence of the shadow in my mind. Even if she does not view the world the same as I she knows and understands my thoughts. Knowing such has provided me with a slight solace; though she tells me that I’m not worse than them because I allow it telling me that there is nothing I can do to stop them from acting how they please. This how ever does not provide solace and just makes me feel worse about myself. I hate it. I hate that I can’t stop it, I hate that I let it happen, I hate that I’m too weak to do anything but survive, I HATE IT ALL!! But worst of all;

I hate myself for still following them…

My love where ever you are, please be safe.

[Syl]

[Old Celtic Runes]
The past, can we really let it go? Are we able to move forward from something like killing one person or many? Are we able to shed ourselves from that which pains us so much and begin a new life? I would like to think so but it is, difficult…

It has been many seasons now since I have last written anything down, there isn’t much to put down, Failed at gaining a job but that does not surprise me being the second time I came to join them. Perhaps it is because my colors? or that I know very little of what it is that people think I am actually do. But perhaps it may be for the best I do tend to travel a lot so perhaps I shall take his offer and go seeking for any small jobs available gives me something to do at least instead of sitting around in camp waiting so it is a start.

I have made a few new friends also, Julie is a kind and sweet woman who has found love within her faith and I am happy for her, she has told me about her past and I feel sorry for her to hear what happened to her is…is so terrible, it makes me so mad to think that people walk around in some places and can own people… slaves they call them. I hate that word more and more as I hear it, you cannot own people it is not right. There are so many things that are wrong with it, taking away their free will….their life…Its just so!; I just wish I could help them

He has returned to me also my mysterious shadow…my teacher… my love. It has been months since he vanished and he finally returned. Oh gods how I missed him so much; I don’t care if others say he is bad for me, he has been nothing but kind and caring to me and loves me for who I am I love him just as I love Mi, they are alike in ways to me. He was not able to stay long and had to head out but that is alright, because he was freed and rescued and he will return to me, he promised.

I can still hear her also, my mental shadow. In moments of solitude I find it bothersome that when I’m alone in travel when I wish for someone to speak with she is the first that comes to mind but she is not there, but I feel her. I can feel her pulling at the backs of my mind when I am near the fog. Always offering the cup of black liquid claiming to drink from it will solve my problems.  But I refuse; I must stay strong, for him, for my friends… for Mi.

Leaning back in her chair as she rests the quill in the inkwell her mind drifts to the thought of her teacher, smiling as she picks up her quill one last time and etches in one last line for the night.


[Old Celtic Runes]
I owe them so much.

[Syl]

Sitting there her legs hanging over the edge of the roof as the moon reached its highest point, Clouds rolled across the blank and empty sky passing over the moon preventing all of its light to reach the quiet city below. She was not sure how long it has been now for so many seasons have passed and it was time to reflect. Her ears perked as wolves howl in the distance from the woods to the north breaking the silence with their song.

“Such a quiet night we should go and have some fun.” Frowning as she looked over seeing her mental shadow as it chuckled. “Why are you still here, why won’t you leave me along..” Shaking her head she didn’t know why she asked since she knew the answer already. “ The better question you should ask is –why- are –you- still here.”

The question stung, she knew why she was here before, and yet as the seasons passed and her personal quest to finding her friends a way out of here slowly drifted from seemingly possible, to nearly impossible. Some of them no longer wishing to leave some accept that they cannot leave this place at all. She has watched her friends change with the seasons. Some becoming teachers, some grow scales, and yet she feels farther behind and weaker comparing her own strength to that of her friends and she feels so far behind and alone. Why was she still here? She no longer knew; she felt so alone and lost in the dark and shadows of this world.

She wondered how much more she could take before she became like them. Did any of them even care that she doesn’t kill people? How much longer will she have to wait? She needed to find something to keep her mind distracted climbing back down from the roof she touched down on the ground before heading back to the city of Valiki.

[Syl]

“Comeback.” She ran in her through the field as she could see the man in the distance, the dew of the tall grass passed from the green blades to her flesh.  “I can make it.” She commented to herself as she kept running. “I can make it.” She continued to run and yet the man never seemed to grow any closer. “ I’m coming please wai-“ she lurched forwards and hit the ground to look back and see a vine had grabbed her leg and began to pull her back. “No… no no no! I have ta ‘elp ‘im!” clawing her way desperately trying to fight the vine pulling her leg as it wrapped further up and around, grabbing her other leg as she struggled looking ahead to see the man turn and look to her. She reached out to him only to a soft yet sad smile cross his face. “No, Come back, come back PLEASE! It’s my fault PLEASE COME BACK!” Her arms gave out as the vine yanked her back wrapping around the rest of her and pulled her underground into the dark.

“Monica, Monica, Monica.” The cold voice called out to her, she knew who it was. Her eyes opened to find herself lying in a room she was all too familiar with, lifting her head she could see her darker self; sitting in her throne with a smirk on her face.  “Yet again, ye fail ta keep someone ye love. Per’aps ye truly be cursed.”  “ ‘ow weak and pathetic ye are las’. ‘ow many more ye goin’ ta lose before ye finally come ta realization?” Rising from her throne she made her way towards Monica. “Because of yer –weakness- we ‘ave nothin’ again, fer all we know yer friends ‘ave just left ye or are dead. In this world why would anyone want ta be friends wit’ ye, someone who be afraid to take a life.” Monica moved to stand only to be shoved back down her face hitting the cold dark ground “STAY DOWN!” She yelled. “Ye have no right to get back up for failing him. We could have been there, we could have HELPED!”

“I know.” Monica replied weakly sniffling, “I want ta ‘elp ‘im, I always wanted ta ‘elp ‘im…” “ BUT YOU DIDN’T DID YOU!?” the other shouted as Monica cried softly “All this because you’re afraid to kill.”

Kill; the word echoed as she thought back “Would you not kill her for me? For us?” back on her failures where she had the choice. “Would you kill for me?” and yet she failed; her eyes opened as the soft pillow pressed against her face  the fur pulled up high as she looked around the dim glow from the candle flickered almost burnt out as she sat up and moved from the bed to her things. Getting dressed Monica looked over towards the sheathed sword that rested in the empty space on the bed next to where she laid before grabbing the sheath and strapping it to her belt. “ Alright….” She murmured as if to someone in her empty room before quietly leaving letting the candle burn out and head out into the dark night.

[Syl]

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[Syl]

Spoiler: show

{ sorry if the picture is to big]

Roaming the woods her mind raced with thoughts, the sword strapped to her belt. The woods were silent, not a sound could be heard from anywhere as she walked through the twisted forest she needed time to think. What is she going to do, where is she going to go. until she finds the answers to her questions she will only keep walking.

[Syl]

It, has been a long time since i have written anything down. My thoughts, my plans.. my maps.

It has become, difficult; for me to remember much of my home now. it is all becomeing a blur. I have made made so many mistakes, countless! And yet i've never once been able to pay the price to make up for them. My friends are all dead most likely and yet I live, is this fate's attempt at a joke? Was the one that is afraid to take a life cursed to watch her friends vanish one, by one, by one, by one, until only they remained?

I doubt anyone will ever see this journal, I prayed that I could of given it to you. But I can't right now.

You vanished, and I was never able to tell you how I truely felt. How I struggled then to utter the words "I love you." Even after you tried to kill me, even after I fired that bolt at you and I begged you to stay. The words latched onto my tongue but no matter how I tried I could not release them.

You have taught me how to listen, to the breath of the city, and the beginings on how to keep out of sight. You knew I wanted to help, you knew I wished to come with you and serve. You made me stable. You made me smile, and you made me laugh looking to brighter days and now? You're not here. All I have now is your memories, your sword, and your note.

Teacher

I look back at my old self now and I see that the two loves I have had in my life are gone because of my own failures. I was not strong enough to protect Her, and I was not strong enough to be by your side. I hope, whereever you are, You still remember me. And the day I see you again I'll tell you how I feel but for now I will merely leave it in my journal.

I love you, Dumas. You are the Big TroubleMaker to this Little TroubleMaker and I will forever love you.