It, has been a long time since i have written anything down. My thoughts, my plans.. my maps.
It has become, difficult; for me to remember much of my home now. it is all becomeing a blur. I have made made so many mistakes, countless! And yet i've never once been able to pay the price to make up for them. My friends are all dead most likely and yet I live, is this fate's attempt at a joke? Was the one that is afraid to take a life cursed to watch her friends vanish one, by one, by one, by one, until only they remained?
I doubt anyone will ever see this journal, I prayed that I could of given it to you. But I can't right now.
You vanished, and I was never able to tell you how I truely felt. How I struggled then to utter the words "I love you." Even after you tried to kill me, even after I fired that bolt at you and I begged you to stay. The words latched onto my tongue but no matter how I tried I could not release them.
You have taught me how to listen, to the breath of the city, and the beginings on how to keep out of sight. You knew I wanted to help, you knew I wished to come with you and serve. You made me stable. You made me smile, and you made me laugh looking to brighter days and now? You're not here. All I have now is your memories, your sword, and your note.
Teacher
I look back at my old self now and I see that the two loves I have had in my life are gone because of my own failures. I was not strong enough to protect Her, and I was not strong enough to be by your side. I hope, whereever you are, You still remember me. And the day I see you again I'll tell you how I feel but for now I will merely leave it in my journal.
I love you, Dumas. You are the Big TroubleMaker to this Little TroubleMaker and I will forever love you.