A Celtic's Journey

[Syl]

[Old Nordic Runes]

Quinn mended me cloths and cloak as Nat let me borrow her spare set. How the las be able to walk in such odd boots is odd, But she left to go help hunter with something so Quinn and I went below and talked while he worked. I asked him about that monastery me and Ropa explored and he said it was called. The “monastery of the silver thread”? Be an odd place said it may have belonged ta some cult I told him about the notch in the middle of a drawing and he seemed interested a bit. He then mentioned that the Monastery may be connected with something behind the locked door under the temple in the village. I think it be best fer me and Ropa as well as ah few others ta look under there fer something that may help. He also said that the key to that door may be found in the village or around it, so once me back be healed more I will try and get a few other to go exploring a well that sounded promising.  I may get the old lad that be in the temple also to come with he might enjoy it and find it useful. I normally not be one to plan something like this, but Ropa seemed a little bit interested in that monastery as well. I wish to see what goes into that notch in the drawing Quinn said it might hold some treasure.
 
I’m not one fer having a lot of gold. I’m more interested in the exploration. I do not hold gold as high as most do in this place thinking it makes a difference. While it can make life ah wee bit better. It doesn’t help ye. There always be someone who be wanting it then. Folks kill for it, others would steal it from ye because ye have it. I think it be a reason I do not feel right in that fancy stone village. I have dreamed of living in a castle a few times yes. But I be happy with how I am and who I be.

As after Quinn finished he asked me about me home and family. He was quiet surprised I had four other siblins. I told him about me da and mother how me da taught me how to hunt and work on survival skills. Me mother taught me how ta cook and cure the hides we got from our kills so we could make cloths. I told him how when the other wee ones were born me da worked the smithy for some extra gold so we could pay for some things we couldn’t get.  The lad told me to be careful and that he does not wish to lose any more friends, I did my best to lighten the mood and asked him If there might ever be a play about someone like me.  I don’t think there would ever be in this fancy place, but it was ah good chuckle none the less. I’ll ask hunter if he knows anything about this monastery of the silver thread. He reads the runes here more often than anyone I know.

[Syl]

[Old Nordic Runes]

Me body be very sore tonight, I showed nat the small island and she said it was beautiful and ah couple of the lads liked it as well Izen asked why we were there if there be nothing to kill or loot. I doubt the lad ever relaxed and just walked ta admire the land, oh well what can ye do? We went ta explore ah cave I don’t really recall what happened in it I woke up on the grass away from the cave they said I hit me head on hard and passed out. We headed back to camp and another group went back to the cave. I could resist my urge to explore, even with my sore body I cannot stand sitting in camp all day and night. I told Ropa that I will come and help but I will not be using me crossbow for sake of me back ta mend. We got to ah cave and it was full of these odd folks that seemed ta not feel ah thing. I closed my eyes most the time to avoid seeing all the blood as well as covered my ears occasionally. Things were going well until we got to a big set of doors. Things went downhill from there, folks were falling I had to use a lot of me fancy papers even if it hurt me back ta use them I did my best to help others get out. Ropa was caught behind the door but we got her out and she ran top. I was the last ta get out and I saw her fighting with one of the quiet lads shooting at the lad attacking Ropa. I grabbed ah fancy paper and gritted my teeth as I did the motions as me body seemed ta just go numb and feel like I was turned inta something I grabbed me crossbow and unloaded into the lad to help Ropa. Me heart racing and it was difficult to breath as the effects of the scroll faded I felt meself and I felt weak suddenly. We eventually cleared the cave and sold the stuff.
       I got ah fancy paper out of it I might show Quinn and see if he knows what it would be. Or nat they be that magik folks able ta read the stuff here.  I’ll have to buy a few more drinks, me back be feeling almost better but its sore after that fancy paper I don’t think I should use that one often if I ever find it again. I need ta get me more traps also, been using them for hunting so I don’t run out of me bolts. For now sleep, once me back feels better should be soon I be getting some friends ta go exploring that well. And then look for the key hopefully we will find something about that monastery. Or better yet I’ll find ah way past that one gate not far from the falls.

[Syl]

[Old Nordic Runes]

Another night of recovery from being tosses around like as wee babes doll. It gives me time to think of where to explore and what to do next.  The well was mentioned and Tarlin said the key to the locked levels below the temple so we can go deeper be in there. I did also say sorry to the lad, while he be very high strung about being called –sir- Tarlin seems he is use to me calling him Tarlin. I am worried about Tabitha though; it has been ah while since I last saw her and tonight she looked very pale and felt cold. I hope the las be alright she said she was bitten by a vampire and it took them a while to find a cleric. I may have to speak with the old priest lad in the village and see how the bites work. Most me friends seem to be having difficulties lately and I feel like I cannot help them.

I had a nightmare which is why I woke and began writing, the dream started in a village that I have not seen before and seemed to have been on fire. Smoke was rising from the windows and roofs some of the huts and houses crumbled to the ground still burning. Ah mob of folks was gathering heading towards the center of the village. And that’s when I heard a loud crack in that direction followed by a scream. I followed the crowed moving behind the buildings staying out of sight making my way to the center of the village as well. In the village was a platform with someone chained to a post on top of it and a man whipping them the mob gathered from all around the village circling the platform yelling Murderer! Witch! Monster! BURN HER! As there was another crack of the whip and the captive screaming in pain. I didn’t want to see any more so I ran from the village. I ran until my legs were sore, I turned around to and everything was black, the world around me was shifting a heavy fog began to roll in as I turned to get away from it I saw I was now on a cliff above a chasm. Turning to brave the fog figures began to take form of me family.

Mother: Ye left us.

No I didn’t I was taken!

Siblings: Why did ye do it

I didn’t anythin’ please listen ta me!

Father: ye came back a murdered yer own kin.

I WOULD NEV-

Lighting flashed blinding me for a moment as my sight returned I stood there bodies covered the ground in front of me lying on top of one another filled with bolts and cuts. Me crossbow was now in me hand as well as me dagger in the other. I stepped back in fear of what lied in front of me, I wouldn’t do this. I’m not ah murderer I don’t wish to be one! Ah mound of bodies shifted as the ones on top fell to the side showing ah las standing in the middle holding a crossbow as she raised it uttering one word in a cold voice before pulling the trigger releasing the bolt.

???: Murderer..

The bolt pierced me chest as I stumbled back and fell into the chasm, I woke shortly after that screaming in fear only to grab a pillow for comfort to calm down.
I hope this just be a nightmare and not a vision of the futur

[Syl]

[Old Nordic Runes]

The right to kill.

I do not know where to begin. Killin a human or a fae or dwarfs nomes. seems just wrong. what is the point in doing so? Is it to prove who is stronger? To steal what they have in gold coins or what they have? or is it just because you can? Now what would give one the right to do any of that? While protecting others is understandable. defending yourself from an attack alright I can understand that also, but just because you have a sword does not give you the right to just kill whom you please for only the joy and taking what is theirs that is not right to me.

You should never have to kill some to prove something. it should not even be the first choice you make.
"get use to it" some tell me. " you'll have to sooner or later"... I can't.. I wont, Its not right damit. once ye get okay with it ye lie to yerself sayin any thing so that ye can kill someone just for gold.. or strength. What about their families?

I feel, I feel like I'm slowly losing my friends. I do not know if it is because I have not killed someone since I have arrived here? Or the fact I refuse. Its heart breaking to me, to see my friends suffer from this place. From vampire bites to broken hearts of love, to books taking over the mind. I..I need someone who can help understand the way I feel. Bryn maybe? or Quinn?

And what about the hard choice I am to make? I know I will one day be forced to decide if someone lives and I die or I kill them to stay alive, I hope it never has to come to that. I don't know which I will choice right now.

Someone please help me. Mother, father, Forefather...I feel so lost here.

The last question I have...Can one Return to the way they once were once this place gets ahold of them? I saw the look on her face as she left.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)
Ah vampyre, play, Love, and the joy of exploration. 

   I was very busy today, teaching Thomas how to cook for himself having him go hunting for boar deer or bear, I was his choice he came back with boar. I told him to soak the steaks in the wine I was given and wait a few hours before we cooked it. I was going to grind up the dry garlic but then I heard Tabitha’s voice behind me and mention the tent, passing Thomas the garlic and told him what to do I headed in there to see my dear friend with her hood up leaning back against the poll in the middle. There was something wrong, she asked a favor of me, to go with her during the day to the place where the vampire bit her and try and find out who the person is. I told her I would help, that I would do the best I can. It seems the vampire is in the village where I have my room, it may be best for her to have a different place to rest. If I cannot find anything out about the place the first time we go, I will ask her for the key and take a look around myself as she stayed somewhere safe. Perhaps I should pay a visit to the old priest Dimitri he seems to know a lot about these things and I feel I will need all the help I can get for this one.   

   After feeding her Thomas, one of Tarlin’s lads. Remo and meself we talked for a bit more and then I remembered the play I said I would go to it was my first play. Heading to the fancy stone village I made my way to Quinn’s theater which I now remember where it’s at. I honestly did not understand what was going on but the music was nice, I think it’s the fact I do not know much of this place, but I clapped and cheered with everyone else and smiles at the show it was something new I have never seen. I asked Quinn to explain to me some of the fancy papers I had after the play when I had time to do it and he looked rather impressed at the ones I have acquired and found telling me to be careful with them. Bryn showed up near the end and I was happy to see him again, I told him to go enjoy the party and that I had some things to take care of but I will see him again shortly.

   I was then showing ah las in an odd dress she called it. Ah keymono? Or something to that, but she seemed nice and was having a rough time she asked me about a shop in the slums so I did my best to lead her to it passing out some gold coins to the beggers as we passed them. We talked for a moment and I showed her the theater where the play was, she seemed over joyed to see it and smiled happily. Bryn had snuck in behind us and I didn’t hear it but we all talked after her made his presence known after a while he showed us a spot in the name escapes me but it was a great view of the ships and sea. Jee asked if Bryn and I were together.  I was embarrassed not because he be different then me but no one ever asked and I never told him how I feel. She smiles and left us for a while she thanked me for showing her around as best I could. I told her any time as she left and let me and Bryn talk.
       
    I confessed my feeling towards him it was not an easy thing to do for I did not know how he felt towards me. He says he does not do the love thing, because of weakness and threat of being killed out of jealousy and other reasons. But I didn’t want to let him go, for the first time I found something I didn’t wish to lose.  As we talked more I slowly understood, I still wish he would feel the same way toward me as I do for him. Perhaps he might in time, for now he said we will take it slow. I finally let him slip out from me arms as the sun was beginning to rise, even if he says he does not “love”. There has to be something there still, isn’t there?

[Syl]

[Old Nordic Runes]

It was a nice day to go exploring, I originally went to see Quinn and ask him some more question and ran into Tabitha again. She does not look any better than before, I feel sorry for her and wish to help. I will learn what I can about vampyres, she said she cannot take this anymore and disappeared from sight again. I hurried to find Quinn shortly after that, I wish my friend did not have to suffer this much she used to be so happy and joyful but now.

   Apparently me cloths not be acceptable by one of the las’s Quinn was around, that be not a problem with me, I’m fine with the way I am. I wasn’t able to ask my questions to Quinn around the others not out of trust but more of privacy for Tabitha’s sake. Instead we ended up going to explore the sandy place around some poisoned water. Quinn started acting odd not long after entering it becoming fidgety and then drank something. I’m not sure what is wrong with the lad but I will ask him about it, I hope he will tell me I feel more concerned for me friends each time I see them. I saw Cloud again. He is a nice lad, other than laughing at me back injury thinking it was a joke until I showed it to him. If he is back I can only wonder if me first job owner be back.

I can’t help but think I may be getting into something very bad and dangerous helping Tabitha. But what can I do? This place makes one lose themselves, makes them violent, hostile, saddened, I will do what I can to make my friends smile and see that there is hope of freedom and joy even in such a dark place.
       Things will get better

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

    Tabitha went back to the village, I cannot sit anymore it seems the vampyre lead her to the green goddess shrine in the village. She thinks its lair may be close to there. I’ll be visiting the old priest this time. Night or day I will help me friend. I do not know what all I can do but I will do what I can which can be a great help. If feel sorry for those that be here and all these things happen to them. the loss of homes, loved ones, having ta revert ta killing people just for yer next meal or the gold they were given. This place is cruel and unkind to everyone. And then some think the place is nothing but a horrible place, while there is a lot of death that happens, there are, hidden beauties that are difficult to find but I can find them. I found one, and I go there often and lie on the grass and look up at the stars. But none seem to see it the same as me they only see it for another place to go kill something.

     Laying here now looking up at the stars in the moonlight my mind drifts and thinks of home, me family, me friends, the smell of the sea and the waves crashing against the shores at night lulling you to sleep, the smell of pine in the forest. The sound of the bird chirping in the morning as I wake early before the morning hunt and run through the dew filled fields near home. I miss it so, I am unsure if I can say I hate this place for can you truly hate it if you can find the hidden beauty that’s concealed by the hardships? I think that is why I search for a way out. Not because I wish to leave, but because I wish to help others leave so they can get home to where they belong.  So they can go back to where they belong and once again smile.

There is a part of me deep inside that wishes this never happened to me.

                            ” So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.”

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)
So many maps to finish, I’ve been busy with Tabitha and me other friends I keep forgetting to go back and finish them. perhaps the village would be best since there may be ah vampyre there. Tabitha says to be careful, and I will be I’ve learned a bit about the streets of that village and how ta get to the temple if need be. Though, perhaps the vampyre might know how ta get past the gate in the mountain. Be hard ta tell even what a vampyre be still.
I be doin more star gazing than anything else right now it be enjoyable but…it makes me miss me home.
The way back must be past that gate in the mountain or the lad that be living past it might know ah way home. I have ta try, if not fer me then fer me friends.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Blast it ta hell it be feeling like me head be split in two still after using that fancy paper the other three were rather surprised I was able ta use it. It’s; been difficult to focus since using that thing. I don’t think I should have used it, there was a’ bit of a backlash I think which be why me head hurts. Or I was not ready to use it, I need ah drink, or something, maybe someone with that healing magik would have an idea on how ta help. Quinn might also now. I never thought using one of them fancy papers would do this ta me head. I was just told it causes blasts from the sun in a large area, was told it worked great on vampyres. I received a letter also not shortly after returning to camp, I cannot read it but I recognize the emblem on it, I’ll bring it to cloud to see if he can read it for me.

   I talked ta me good friend Tabitha, the las seems ta be doing a bit better but still has not had the color return to her, her essence being taken…I hope once we find this vampyre we can get her fixed, perhaps a trade for her essence to be returned. If I have to I will offer some of mine for hers to be returned.

[Syl]

[Old Nordic Runes]

A lot has happened lately.... worries raising, loves made, and harsh words spoken.

I have been told much a few nights ago but these are not things worth the pages for it could cause troubles. Mi helped me after a while of walking around the fancy stone village and made me head and back no longer hurt. I'm not sure what she did, after I tried that one pipe things went.. fuzzy I guess and I just fell asleep. after we returned to the camp the next day when I woke another lad pulled her to the side... or she motioned him to follow. I not be to sure I saw me friend Quinn and was talkin ta him about usein them fancy papers. I explained to him what happened last time I used ah.."burst of sun" one of them fancy papers, and he told me to be careful that I be lucky it be all it did was give me ah headache. I do not wish to worry the lad to much and I told him I will be more careful next time when using such fancy papers or better. Mi seems to be finding happiness which is great for her. the las needs it.

The less I know the safer I be....What nerves Tarlin have fer sayin that. I have done much ta help me friends both Tabitha and Mi with their troubles and hard times. still....I worry for them both even with them near me now I had wished Mi would have left them like she was thinking of doing. I'm not sure if she said it as a lie to me or if her mind had changed, I can only hope it was a change of mind

I have heard something happened to Quinn, I hope he is alright. I have to find him if he is hurt, I can help take care of him and I tend to put a smile on his face. or do I worry him more? I don't know he be ah odd lad to read sometimes. But he is a kind soul from what I have seen, though odd sometimes. I didn't find him anywhere in that fancy stone village so I passed out some gold to the beggers as I still looked around. Perhaps the lad is out exploring for once, I hope he will be alright. he has that magik stuff but I'm not sure if he is use to it... the exploring that is.

Much on my mind now and I hope it all works out well in the end.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

It is difficult to be joyful when I am put around one that just enjoys butchering things. He doesn’t kill he just butchers, Izen….probably the first person I have seen since arriving here that cares more about items and gold than anyone else. He is nothing but a monster, makes me so mad when he will just watch others die.  I woke again from the nightmare, but it continued past the fall into the chasm.

Lightning flashed as I saw the figure coming out from under the bodies holding up a crossbow pulling the trigger as it uttered.


???: Murderer…

With the bolt piercing my chest I fell into the chasm, it was cold I felt myself fall as I thought what I did to deserve this. I would never kill anyone, I haven’t killed anyone…so why, I suddenly hit water at the bottom of it and fought to stay afloat. It hurt to move but I thought I saw a torch in the distance and land I could get onto so I swam, the water was thick and it felt like I would never reach it, wave rolling in and crashing down on me pushing me under the water. It hurt even more to swim, my blood seeped more into the water from the bolt in my chest. The water started to become thicker and heavier making it harder to swim.

Finally reaching the land and struggled but pulled myself up and out of the bloody water I looked up as I lay on my back and there was nothing but darkness above me save for the lighting which flashed a crossed the black sky. I looked over after I screamed in pain pulling the bolt out of me chest, the blood in the water began to boil and bubble as bodies floated to the top and drift towards the land I was on. They started to climb onto the land moaning and groaning,”  Monster…Murderer…” they all moaned at me as I ran from them as I came to a side of a wall. I wanted to wake up. Anything to wake up, let this nightmare stop I’m not a murderer I would never kill anyone,

I climbed… they surrounded me and began to climb the wall as well. Nat, Tabitha, Bryn, Quinn…. Somebody help me… Be the light in this nightmare,  I reached the edge of the wall as I tried to climb up I could see most of me friends at just a little bit away but the bodies behind me grabbing my leg and pulling me back down. I screamed for help as I was being pulled back down hanging onto the ledge screaming for help. I woke as my grip started to slip.

Why do I have these nightmares? I don’t like them…I’ll go look for Quinn or Bryn. One of them or both might be able to help me make sense of all this.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

I have still had no luck helping me friends with this Vampyre thing. I feel so useless sometimes unable to be there and help them, something happened this time to Mi this time, but both her and Tabitha were there Blast it ta hell why can I not be of help to them!? I’m always away when things seem to happen to them.  I helped Mi make some gold and I gave her some gold and a dream catcher as a gift to help her sleep.  We talked while she readied to rest, she was smoking something and eventually passed out. I moved the las back to the bed and placed her in it, I felt like I was watching over one of me younger siblings, This only was proving more so when she woke and we talked more only to have her cry.

The poor las, I do not know what makes her cry so hard for so long. But I sat there and hummed the same melody I would to me siblings when they were crying. It eventually worked and she calmed down, I do not know how long she has kept that inside her, I told her I would give her and Tabitha both part of me own essence if I could so they could feel better and be happy, but I am not sure if she heard me. She cried for hours as I just sat there holding her as I would one of me sibling, rocking her and singing the words I knew of the poem as best I could. She needed someone badly to be there for her. I’m not a’ lad so I cannot take their place but I be ah friend, and she told me before all this that she was thankful for our friendship. Away from the order, that’s what she needs. A few days or so away from all the things they make her do. Stealing from demons, and other things, a good old camping trip is what she will need. Maybe once all of this is done and this vampyre is dealt with. I be always there fer me friends, no matter the troubles I have to do to help them what more can I do now but hold her while she sleeps in comfort like a mother would a child. Mi…she says she is a monster. Forever repeating the same things day after day and can’t do anything about it, claiming to be damned and asked if people like me were here in these lands to guide the damned.

I do not believe she is damned, she is lost, scared and forced to do things she may not wish to do and longs to be free of it all. I can see it when she looks at the sea, I think she be able to do good even though she thinks she can’t. But you must not lose hope Mi, there always be a chance to be free.

She stirs now still in her sleep after crying, I think I feel sorry for her more, I hardly know anything about Mi but I get the feeling she has been alone in her life for a long time, no mother, no father, ah las should not grow up without her family. I cannot help but think of me family and sibling back home and how I would care for them when they cried, lulling them back to sleep with a soft hum, or be there to protect them from the nightmares. How I be missing them with each passing night. I’m unsure how long I have been gone for them, I pray to the gods and forefathers that they be watched over. I pray to me forefathers ta watch over me friends in this dark place. There is not much I can do when I am away but I will be there for them when I am around.  For now I will let Mi continue to sleep, the only thing I can do right now is sing the poem again as the night drifts on.

"Upon the hearth the fire is red,
Beneath the roof there is a bed;
But not yet weary are our feet,
Still round the corner we may meet
A sudden tree or standing stone
That none have seen but we alone.

Tree and flower and leaf and grass,
Let them pass! Let them pass!
Hill and water under sky,
Pass them by! Pass them by!

Still round the corner there may wait
A new road or a secret gate,
And though we pass them by today,
Tomorrow we may come this way
And take the hidden paths that run
Towards the Moon or to the Sun.

Apple, thorn, and nut and sloe,
Let them go! Let them go!
Sand and stone and pool and dell,
Fare you well! Fare you well!

Home is behind, the world ahead,
And there are many paths to tread
Through shadows to the edge of night,
Until the stars are all alight.
Then world behind and home ahead,
We'll wander back to home and bed.

Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,
Away shall fade! Away shall fade!
Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,
And then to bed! And then to bed!"

For now i think i will go look around the village and look for answers Watch over them forefathers. And over me as i explore the village to help my friends.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Returning from the fancy stone village to the camp and found me friends. I have asked a few who be working at the theater if they be seein Quinn. No one has, the lad..Zid something rather difficult to say name say he be on a “personal holiday” whatever that be, Rith said she hasn’t seen Quinn either, I am beginning to worry for the lad and I hope he be alright, I’ll start looking for him more should he not show up soon.

While I be worried fer Quinn I am more worried fer me great friend Mi. what turned into a simple talk about helpin her understand if the fancy papers could be useful turned into her growing anxious and then told us what she sees and burst into tears. I moved over and held her as I did me siblings back home, patting her back as she cried the others kept asking her questions, I told them to stop and let her calm down first but she answered them. As the day went by we continued to talk, we spoke of the vampyre and how we will fix both Mi and Tabitha. Cloud was helpful and seemed to understand a bit of what be going on. The more I see Mi like this the more I feel sorry for her, claiming she no longer has the strength, nor the courage for things because of the vampyre. I know she is strong and she can be brave, it takes courage to face vampyers from what I have heard. I still patted her back as dusk began to fall we all laid back in the grass and looked up at the stars. Tatyana thought they were eyes of the gods lookin down on us. I told them a little bit about some of the figures from back home. Cloud mentioned a few names for each one. Mi said she had a story about a moon lord and sun queen from where she be from. I enjoy stories, listening to her talk about how there be ah sun and moon. How they had children but the lord feared his children and one of them told him that the others conspired against him and so he ate them, all but one. The lad was hidden away and raised by dragon and given ah sword to fight the lord. Cutting the lord open he let free his siblings save for the first one that was eaten who died for being in the longest. The others fell forming the ten kingdoms of her world and how the one that turned in the others to their father fell farthest away from the others, deep into the earth forming the shadow world, and the underworld. The queen wept and the lord cursed saying the queen will not have a moments rest. He will chase her forever throughout the sky.  It was a nice story as I imagined it all as we looked up at the stars. Cloud said that the sun be a star. Is that possible seems a wee bit big ta be a star.

Tat left us to go rest as I watch her Mi, we talked about going somewhere and so I had to change me clothes and go inta the ones Nat got me still having difficulty walkin in them odd boots with a tiny spike like thing on the back of em makein me walk on me toes. Mi and Cloud just looked at me shocked that I was in em. Washin me kilt and other cloths of the smudged make up from Mi, I went to get back up when ah gust of wind came and blew me off balance makin me fall inta the water at camp. Cloud playing with that magik stuff, I bet the lad thought it be funny. It must have been him since when we finally got out after I pulled him in me spare cloths be practically see through, must have been him and that magik, I can’t be toi mad at him I’m told magik can be unpredictable before, as I covered myself with me shadow cat fur Mi helped me get into some spare leathers she had, Trousers again…. Bloody hell I hate them, she was staring at me for a while and then looked toward cloud making sure he wouldn’t try and sneak a peek. It be rude ta look at ah las naked that not be yers you know?

Mi started to seem a bit more, off holding her head saying it’s too much. She asked if I still had the pipe of hers and if I planned on giving it back. I asked her which one it was and she snapped at first saying anyone only to apologize and say it in a normal tone. I handed it to her as she then prepared her things
filling the pipe and taking a deep breath of the smoke only to pass out on the ground not long after. Cloud frowned seeming to know something I didn’t as lifted Mi’s head placing it on me lap making sure she didn’t hit her head too hard on the ground, I took the pipe from Mi and knocked out the rest of the content in the pipe into the ashes of the fire. Opieom? Or… something like that addictive? Cloud went on to explain that its bad to take the stuff, that it may be part of the reason fer weakening Mi’s will against the vampyre. After Cloud and I talked he said he will get me those fancy papers so long as I keep her off the stuff. She still stirs a bit and holds my forearm as I sit here and write in me journal. I’m unsure of how bad the stuff is. Cloud says its bad and he sounded very seriously. What am I to do with you Mi. you’re like a child in a way still to me, lost in this hectic dark world thinking there is no light in the world at all. Do not lose hope Mi, I’m still here and as long as I am still here I will do my best to show ye the light that can be found. Perhaps it would be wise to take you on a camping trip, away from the knights and their order for a few days.

You smiled as you woke again while I hummed a soft lullaby, saying you could get use to this. And asked me to stay when I said I could leave you if ye liked. We talked more about me home land, about the other las’s that be there. I cannot say that they are like me, Kind hearted yes before I was taken. But now I am unsure since I do not know how long I have been away, or how long time has passed there.  We talked of love and how it is like them pistols and how it can backfire. Yes love can cause pain, I have seen it in Nat more than anyone else. The las has had trouble with lads leaving her or being unfaithful. I miss Bryn as I sit here and write now as you still sleep Mi, looking up upon them as we talked still until ye fell asleep again. I am here Mi, we will get you and Tabitha fixed. If I meet the vampyre I will see about a trade and have ye two returned to normal at the cost of my own essence. I can only pray to the gods and me forefathers that this will finish soon and things can go back to normal. Just be strong Mi, Know that your loving friend is always here for ye. I will always be here for ye

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

The last few days and nights have been a blur it seems, we all talked at camp for a bit but then Mi Rith and I headed ta that fancy stone village for a backup plan. I hope Cloud can get me them fancy papers to help with the mind I left to go do a wee bit of walkin and get me gold from the bank thing. I found Mi seeming lost when walkin around the village. I can’t blame the las fer getting lost here, I know I still do. She asked where that one inn was near the sea so we found our way there thanks to the wooden sculpture out front of it we got a room and talked while she smoked opening the window and letting the smell of the sea come in.

We talked for a long time inta the night and she asked if I could sing ta her again. I don’t mind singin Mi, I not be the best of singers but I did sing for her as she slept. She was cold to the touch, I not be sure if she was actually cold or if it be from that vampyre. But I did me best ta keep ye warm, the sound of the waves, and me hummin eventually lulled myself to sleep as well.

She said there be no lads in this world like me da, saying they only wish fer one thing, can this be true here? Here she may be right. But I know lads be different back home.

We talked more as the day went on and had some food, its nice ta see Mi smile for once, I get so concerned fer Mi as well as me other friends. The las be worried about her ties with that flower order, there should be ah way ta get her out of them or away. There be other troubles that worry her, all revolving around Tarlin’s people. We’ll find someone ta help, she knows I cannot kill anyone and that I haven’t and it makes her happy ta know that. She says I pure and that I shouldn’t let the world get ta me, ta stay pure. To let her be me shadow in the world here and let me still be the light.

Mi said that…. she would pull down…It doesn’t matter what the las said, I understood very well. We will be heading back ta camp soon. I will speak with Tarlin, I have a request fer the lad and can only hope he will accept it. I think it will do Mi well,

Sitting here in the fancy village not far from Quinn’s theater I cannot help but feel nerves fer the lad. He has been gone fer days now and no one has seen him, where did ye go Quinn? Does this have ta do with our last trip ta that sandy place and how ye were actin? Please be safe till I find ye Quinn, yer ah great friend and I be concerned fer ye, ya seem ta not be out very often and so I don’t know how well ye will handle exploring and adventures.

I will need ta finish some of me maps again, they get damaged from some of the exploring before I can finish them. Perhaps Hazland will be the one I start this time, it be away from the world in a way. And I like that, the forest be nice and reminds me of home. the wind blowing and the sound of bird….Home, I pray I find ah way back, But do I wish that now?

‘You brought the light.” The words keep repeating in me head even as I write, I do not wish ta change everything for I know somethings be impossible ta change. But I can still help others when they need it. Even if it only be ta make their day better…what does it take to keep evil and darkness at bay I wonder sometimes.

" Some believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I've found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay... small acts of kindness, and love."

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Another nightmare, I had me dream again I was back ta climbin the wall to get away from the dead that be filled with bolts groaning and hissing at me. They grabbed me legs as I reached the top and started pullin me down, screamin fer help as me grip was slippin on the rocks, but still no one came and I fell down again I fell until I hit the ground below and they swarmed me. clawin, and bitin, at me as they continued ta pile on me, stabbing me with jagged rocks from below the blood water behind us it hurt. I wanted it ta stop but it wouldn’t, the ground quaked and trembled causing the bodies to stop and just stand around me, the ground then cracked below us and black thick liquid oozed out of the cracks the world is taking me. the killings here are affecting me, am I going to be like them in this world now? The liquid began to slowly engulf me. I don’t want ta be like them I still wish ta be me. Voices began to echo around me.

Thissel: “As long as you stay true to your heart you will still be yourself.”

Thomas: “You’re a kind woman, do not let the words of him or others tell you otherwise.”

??? “There will always be darkness in the world, do not let it change you, for you know you’re not ah killer or a monster.”

Mi: “You’re pure Mon.”

It became difficult to breathe as the liquid came over me chest and it continues to engulf me and then there was a light above me as the voices continued. Reaching for it thinking it was the last bit of light in this hell of a dream; I suddenly felt something take me hand and pulled me out of the liquid, there I stood now back on the ledge where I fell, I could see the black liquid below and as I looked ahead me friends be there smiling at me. It was their voices I heard, I looked ta see what pulled me out and they were holding some part of me arm and hand. And all I could do was smile at them. Because of them my will is strong, because of them I will not fall and become ah killer.

*looks over at Mi as she sleeps watching her smiling at her before she resumes writing*

One day, that be all Cloud given me ta try and make Mi stop seein the vampyre, she is worse the closer she be ta that village. I can see it drainin’ her, she looked much worse than last time I saw las. Not even Tabitha looked like this. The vampyre just be usin Mi and yet she does not listen to the others. All I can do is be there fer her. She said she hear me singin, even when she be in the village and he controls her. Hold onto that Mi, do not let him take ye and drain ye dry. I do not wish ta lose me friends and those I love here. Me friends, I be placed in a tough spot with this Vampyre thing will Nat shun me fer me kindness and tryin ta help Mi? I think Cloud understands.

I don’t know what ta do, gods, forefathers, mother, anybody if ye can hear me prayers I need yer help. Help me take care of Mi, let her mind become strong and fight back the vampyre that be controlling her. Let her be free of his control and regain her strength. Take it from me if ye must, just don’t let me friend suffer anymore.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Why is this happening?

I took Mi out for a bit and showed her a place she might like and help get away from it all. The flower order, the vampyre, the woods be a great place to get away from things, she was shaken by what she did ta a lad albert that loved her. I am not sure what the lad’s intent was but it seemed he would not take the hint that they were not meant ta be and kept pushin fer it forcing her hand. I took her to a small pond and cleaned her up as she talked, cleaning the blood off her hands and the mud from her hair I listened as she spoke of the things that be botherin her. In it all I can hear it in her voice she wishes for freedom. Away from it all, the vampyre, the order, those that wish ta do harm ta her. Eventually Mi calmed down and next thing I knew I was pulled into the water with all me gear rather glad I be knowin how ta swim. But I splashed her back in retaliation for it and laughed causing her ta laugh. I feel this is what she truly needs to smile and be happy, all I could do for Mi is be there for her and care for her. She is a very dear friend and someone that be lost in this world with very little light ta hold onto. I’ll be that light, I will be her mother, her sister, I will try and help her that the world not be so bad. I’ll take her with me once I find a way out of here. We will take our friends with us so we all can get away from this hell or a nightmare.


This was three days ago now and she be locked in a room, trying ta get her off the stuff she smoked it pains me to see her like this. Seeing her as such in the pain the screaming the yelling. Mi come back please you are stronger then this you know ye are. I know ye are, think of the songs the happy memories I will do what I can ta make ye not suffer as much. Mi told me about her past that she be ah murderer, I told her that she doesn’t have ta be, that no longer be her. I cleaned the vomit from her face and arms she looks to be in pain and all I can do fer her is be there for her and take care of her. I do not care if Tarlin shows up I will not let me friend suffer more than needs be. I rather Mi not have ta suffer at all.

Tarlin….

Nat and Thomas helped me get some papers for Mi, I know Nat not be happy with Mi but I think she knows that Mi not be herself right now. I took most the gold I did have from that bank thing and gave it to nat to buy the papers I needed. I did not get much but I can only pray they help Mi.

Forefathers, please watch over her. Let her sleep peacefully tonight; do not let the voices haunt her dreams or mind let her dream sweet dreams of freedom and joy. Let her wake knowing that her suffering is almost over. Be at peace tonight Mi, I will return again I promise.


I will need ta ask more questions on other matters, Quinn or Cloud might know also…

Quinn, where are ye. I have not seen ye in many nights now and no one knows where ye went.  Where are ye and what happened that caused ye ta vanish. Please be safe where every ye are Quinn, I only wish ye were here ta help me with my questions I have. My only hope now be Cloud fer the questions I need help with.


Once this be all done and Mi be better, I wish ta take her some where she may truly love. Deep in the forest away from it all, another camping trip from the troubles. I think Mi will like that. I’m sure she will.

*Monica looks over at Mi tied to the bed as she sighs softly, closing her book and mummers a soft prayer in gaelic as she kisses her forhead and heads off as the sun raises as she opens the door and looks back at her and smiles watching her sleep*

I’ll return, I promise.

[Syl]

*Monica lies in the vistani tent staring at the top of it as tear still fall down her face until she eventually drifts into a hellish nightmare only to wake up screaming a name that could be heard from outside the tent and eventually cry throughout the night grabbing her journal and begins to write*

(Old Nordic Runes)

It’s all me fault.

I dreamed of ye, I wish it was a sweet dream but it was a nightmare. I saw you in the distance and i ran for ye callin out yer name, but it was like i made no progress, I ran as hard as i could screaming your name. the world changed and i was runnin through the roads of that fancy village i was infront of the hotel thing and i hurried inside and up ot the room and there ye were on the bed where i left ye, i walked over ta ye ta wake ye but just before i touched ye; ya vanished and all around me all i could hear was twisted laughter as i screamed for yer name only to wake up.

It can’t do it, I can’t sleep I see her in my dreams, I see the destroyed room, the blood on the floor, the bindings cut. Why; why didn’t I stay? Why did I leave you that night. Its my fault your gone I was there and I kept you happy and made you safe. I made you smile and I made you laugh. And now you vanished, I’ve searched the city franticly for what felt like forever. Other came to help and the actress.. Millie? I think that was the las’s name said she knew where ta find you… Oh why didn’t I follow? Why did I think you would be back in the room?

I saw Tabitha and the others back at camp, I didn’t sleep the night and I braved the dangerous parts of the city, searching for you. I did me best ta not cry but it was no use I broke down in Nat’s arms It hurt. Me heart hurt for not being able to find ye, the old black dragon leader came and hit me on the head lightly, but I wasn’t in the mood ta listen ta her words. I..I lost control of meself I was mad suddenly I needed something ta take it out on. And she became it, me frustration fer not being able ta find ye. ME anger fer being called weak and not able ta protect ye or me friends. I’m tired of it all, I be tired of hearin people say ye have ta kill ta survive in this world. I...tackled her in rage and punched at her, I didn’t care if I be in the camp.  It hurts, and she wasn’t helpin me or understandin me pain. They think the vampyre took ye. But the room doesn’t look like it… Gods why didn’t I just stay with ye? I have never felt so alone even near me friends as they helped me. but I followed them thinking we might find ye, It was raining back at the village down pouring hard but I didn’t care. I let the rain mask me tears as I simply followed them, I cling to hope that we find ye but the more we walked in the village the more I felt alone. It’s funny, how I was thinking ye might just walk out of me shadow and just hug me saying you were there the whole time and didn’t mean ta make me worry.  As we left fer the night we passed the bridge again, I stopped and looked down at the water below.  What if someone killed ye? I should have stayed ta protect ye, would going down into the water make me feel better? A chance to see you again, If I walked into the fog will I find ye again?

This is Tarlin’s fault… all of this is his fault, he be the one that locked ye in that room. HE BE THE ONE
THAT NOT LET ANYONE SEE YE! HE KNOWS NOTHIN OF THE PAIN YE WERE GOIN THROUGH!! Tabitha says I should hold onta hope. I do not think she knows how hard I be clinging onta it, ta see ye again, ta hold ye in my arms and make yer pain go away. She said I gave ye the will ta fight and that ye still be fightin. I pray this be true.

Gods, forefathers; Bring her back ta me, I know her world be all broken, but let me piece her back tagether. Let me still be her light in this darkened world. I…I do not care if it be wrong fer us ta be with each other, She needs me and I be needin her now. So I pray ta ye bring her back ta me, guide her through the dark and let her find me I’ll pay the price fer whatever it be, I wish ta be with her…
                                I love her. Mi.. please come back ta me I'll find ye I will look everywhere fer ye. and once i find ye, i wont lose ye again. I'll take care of ye. I promise

*closing her journal as she then removes a shortbow from a pack and holds it close and just sobs*

[Syl]

*Beaten and exhausted dry blood in her hair monica sits there at the edge of a pond in the mist camp looking over a newly drawn picture struggling to stay awake she eventually passes out clutching the picture and bow close to her as she begins to toss and turn in her sleep until she wakes up screaming and breathing heavily only to hold her bandaged head*

(Old Nordic Runes)

Another nightmare, and ye weren’t there ta hold me. I do not blame ye fer it, I am still searching for ye no matter the cost. I’ll find ye Mi we’ll be together again. But the dream; I can still see it all in my mind fresh as if she still be standing there with the goblet in hand.

I was standing in forest where we spent most our time the last few days, together before ye were locked away.  We were talkin and laughing and enjoyin the sound and smells of the forest, but you vanished again and I was alone. The trees and plants began to die around me as everything turned to harden sand, as it cracked in multiple places the water dried from it. I called out for you and there was a response. But it was not yer voice, I looked around but there was no one there. A voice came from behind me;

???: So what are ye goin ta do las’?

I looked around for where the voice might be coming from and the voice just chuckled. I eventually looked down to see me shadow, but there was something off about it. It slowly began to twist and turn as, as it took form raising up and staring back at me with its darker green eyes. It looked like me exactly like me but everything seemed darker about her her cloths matched mine but were a darker shade.

Shadow: So what are ye goin ta do las’?

It asked the same question again.

Monica: I…I don’t know I ‘ave ta find ‘er!

Shadow: And how are ye goin’ ta do that? Ye don’t even know w’ere she be.

Monica: Shut up I’ll find ‘er! I..I just need a’ an idea of w’ere ta look.

Shadow: But ye already ‘ave one, two in fact.

Before I could even stop and think the words escaped my lips slowly;

Monica: Mille, Borgan Antonescu

I shook me head.

Monica: But I don’t know if they even ‘ave ‘er!

The sand and dust swirled around us as a mirror formed near the shadow me.

Shadow: and what if they do? What if they be torturin’ ‘er.

Monica: YER LYIN’! SHE RAN AWAY SCARED AND I JUST ‘AVE TA FIND ‘ER!!

The shadow me dragged her fingers across the smooth mirror as I looked at it, the mirror began to ripple as if it was water and the image changed. I saw ye, I saw ye in pain, scared and alone, I tried ta call out ta ye and reach for ye through the mirror but just as quickly as the imaged changed of ye, it faded and there we both stood in the mirror back in our forest away from the world and the troubles.

Shadow: Ye want this don’t ye? Ta make the las’ ‘appy?

I nodded as I just touched the mirror

Shadow: This place be cruel and cold, ‘ow do ye think ye will survive ‘ere? Ye are strong aye, not physically but ye ‘ave ot’er strengt’s, but it be the will ye lack. The will ta do what it takes ta protect ‘er…to protect yer friends.

Monica: ye shouldn’t ‘ave ta kill someone ta survive anyw’ere unless ye truly ‘ave ta. Takin’ a’ life be wrong! I..I don’t know if I could do it anyways.

I turned to look at me shadow me as I still kept my hand on the mirror… I just wanted ta be with ye again and see yer smile wishing I could just jump into the mirror and be with ye. My shadow drew a goblet as she cut her wrist and let thick black blood pour into the goblet, her cut healed not long after the goblet was full as she just held it out ta me.

Shadow: Drink it, just one sip and the rest will take care of itself.

I hesitated as I reached for the goblet, me heart racing as I stood there holding it. I looked back to the mirror in hopes to see ye again but there was another shadow. And then another, four of them one at each side of me all tellin me ta drink it. Me hands shacked with fear I don’t want ta lose ye, but I don’t know what drinkin’ this will do ta me.

I woke up before I could even lift the goblet. Oh gods what is going on with me was it real or was it just me in ah nightmare all I can do is cling ta yer bow and picture and pray fer ye ta come back ta me.

Forefathers, gods, Watch over my Mi. she is lost and alone where ever she be. Ease her pain and sufferin. Transfer it ta me if ye must. I’ll endure the pain fer her. I still believe in her, let her know that I am lookin for her and comfort her with me memories. And; Make those that cause her pain feel it in return.

                              "The closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes"

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Mi…Please come back ta me…

I was taken care of today, I’ve been looking around fer ye that I didn’t care fer me own injuries. For what if ye were hurt more than me then me wounds would seem like nothin? I have ta keep lookin fer ye but others won’t let me. They say I should rest ah bit what if ye were okay and find out I got hurt so bad how it would make ye feel, a lad named Hare helped me inta the tent. He looked at me head and asked why I looked this way. I explained ta the lad that I have been lookin fer ye as well as me friend Quinn. We talked fer ah bit as I explained how worried I was about me friends. How worried I was about ye vanishin and how I was attacked in the fancy village which caused me ta have these wounds. The lad asked ta see me head and began ta clean it and then asked if I be alright with something called stitches.. lad said it would help with the wound. It hurt so much all I could do is clentch me teeth and scream inta me cloak as I wadded it up but I eventually calmed down and thanked the lad.

Hare wanted me ta rest after he mended me head but I was afraid of the dream again… I didn’t want to see the shadow, I don’t want ta be alone with it again. Please Mi come back; Hare ended up usin some magik stuff and me mind went clear as I fell asleep. I think I heard the lad said he has seen Quinn it became difficult ta hear as it seems me body just gave inta its weariness. I dreamed of ye, we were both back in the forest again it seemed ta be just before the first snow fall as it talked and stayed close ta each other looking up at the stars. We talked of our feelins, we talked of our love, our future. And ye were healthy again, there was no flower order or vampyre, Just us and the stars. I didn’t want it to end I clung to ye as ye smiled to me sayin everythin will be alright and it was your turn to lull us both ta sleep as ye started singing one of me songs and I joined in later. I didn’t want me dream ta end, but I could feel it trying ta sleep away as I started ta wake, No. let me hold her in me dreams a little longer, let me feel comfort let me stay here. I fought ta stay asleep as long as I could, but it was no use the world slowly began to fade away around me as ye began ta fade away. But not before ye kissed me forehead sayin we’ll be tagether again soon.

I woke as me eyes watered as I wanted ta cry, but Thomas was there and I don’t wish ta have anyone else see me ah mess he talked briefly but the lad looked tired, I told him ta rest that I won’t be going anywhere I eventually just grabbed ah pillow and cried into it to muffle me cry so Thomas wouldn’t wake. I cried until I hear Thomas stir and wake and then I just closed me eyes pretendin ta sleep until he left. I cried some more, not just because of the joyful dream only ta wake and ye not be here. But because I can’t move right now me body be beaten and sore. But I can’t give up on findin ye, I won’t give up. I’ll walk to the end of the world ta find ye.

I eventually calmed down and forced meself up and headed out of the tent and looked around some. Thomas came up ta me again and offer support so I not be standin on me bad leg, Tabitha was there, the las has her color back, she said the vampyre be put ta rest. That means yer health will return also, I can see it now ye smiling and looking healthy again, but me thoughts were cut short when Taty came up and said she got a clue ta findin ye. We followed her but Tabitha seemed ta take ah wagon elsewhere, I hope the las be alright. Taty, she and I talked in camp in quiet as she explained that Milie know where ye be. I asked how she knows and she explained, She explained how she saw Millie actin odd and asked her if she has seen Mi. at first Millie said no and hurried inta the woods of that grey city. Taty followed her and then said that she be tryin ta help Mi and that’s when she said Mi snapped she said. “Yer way can’t help her. Only my way can help her.” She knows…She knows where ye be I...I told others and the masked girl said I should get Millie and….and do things that I normally wouldn’t do.

Gods why….

Me mind swarmed with emotions after hearin it, I should have followed her that night. It is me fault, its all me fault I could have kept ye safe and now she knows where ye be. An image of the goblet full of black liquid flashed in my mind briefly as I could hear her in me head offering it. But I needed ta think, Sudhri cloud and taty then held me down and cleaned out me leg wound. Gods it hurt so badly but I clamped down on the stick and endured it, I’ll endure all that I must ta find ye Mi. I will walk through yer shadow world and me ‘ell and back just ta bring ye back. I would do so fer any of me friends. But yer are more then that ta me.

After me leg was mended and cleaned I made me way back ta Thomas and we talked. He said he failed them Tabitha and some other folks, how he was feared by the sight of ah lad bein ripped apart by worgs. I frowned at the thought and shuddered. He asked what use is he if he be afraid of somethin? I told the lad that he be of more help then I be ta most me friends. They know I don’t like the idea of killin people how I think that be why they don’t bring me, ta shield me from it. So all I can be is be there fer me friends and try and make their day better.

Me thoughts went back ta ye as we spoke of Nat and I asked Thomas if he had feelins fer her. I think the lad does care fer her and has feelins but be nerves ta share em with her. I can’t blame him. I know the feelin how hard it be ta tell someone ye carefer em and love em.  I wanted ta find ye I tried ta stand but me leg was still sore even after the healin, and then I broke down and cried, I explained ta those around me about Millie and that the las must know where ye be. One lad said he would have his people look into it and help me find ye but that I would owe the lad one. I don’t care, I’ll pay whatever the price be ta have ye back safe in me arms. Away from the Order; I don’t know what happened but everything went black. I must have passed out, for I woke in the tent. But not before I saw her again.

Me shadow and the mirror…

The mirror rippled as I approached it and I saw ye on the other side ye were with me again placing me hand on the mirror the me in the mirror turned and looked right at me and smiled, I heard me shadows voice again behind me. it’s always odd ta hear it speak, it sounds like echo and hazy as well difficult ta grasp but I can hear it clearly.

Shadow: So…ye goin’ ta drink it yet?

I turned to see her sitting in a chair this time the goblet resting next to her right and a second mirror ta her left.

Monica: But I’m afraid.

Shadow: Of course ye are las’ it be understandable, They say they understand yer feelin’ of not killin’ someone. But do they? They do not know ye as well as I, I can see the pain inside ye deep down. I can feel yer anger boilin’, especially after learning that this las’ knows where our Mi is.

The second mirror rippled again like water as the image of Millie formed in it, me hands clentched in rage as I saw her standing there.


Shadow: Millie, she also goes by Millicent, ye know what has ta be done ta find out where Mi be.

Monica: But…but I don’t know if I can.

Shadow: YE MUST!! ‘OW ELSE YE GOIN’ TA FIND MI!

I dropped to me hands and knees as my shadow grabs the goblet and placed it in front of me.

Shadow: Drink it, the rest will take care of itself.

Looking up at the mirror of Millie and then down to the cup I thought to meself. Would I come back? Would drinkin this cause me ta forever change? Me heart pounded as I just stared at the goblet, me shadow grabbed the goblet and me hair and tried ta force me ta take it.

Shadow: DRINK IT!!

I woke just before the liquid could even touch me lips me heart racin as I saw a dream catcher tied ta me staff and propped up, Why didn’t it work. Wasn’t that ah dream? All I could do is remove the picture of ye and look at it thinking of ye and praying ta me forefathers that ye be strong where ever ye are. I’ll find ye, even if; even if I have ta drink the black liquid. But I’m scared ta do it Mi, fergive me fer not taking it Mi…

Please be safe where ever ye are. We’ll be tagether again I promise.

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

I feel so alone.

This how I felt, I went with Nat and Thomas into the fog and look for ye; even with me friends I felt alone, I do not know if they understand my feeling I looked over all the bodies we found making sure none were ye and they were not which brought me joy but it faded for ye must have been farther in.


As we walked I merely shot my crossbow at the things ta keep em alives, I thought I could hear your voice in the mist. See the outline of your figure in the fog, I truly felt lost and alone. My feelins fer ye have never faded but me friends; they helped me but they said I cannot do it all, But I have to try I have to what if I stopped lookin and ye were ta die. It would have been me fault that I stopped lookin fer ye.

I could hear yer voice following me in the mist, your laughter it was all there but ye weren’t. we left the fog ending up in the fancy village and headed back ta camp. I moved to my tree as I looked at the other, more came and they were all laughing and hugging. And I’m here alone gods I miss ye Mi, I miss ye so much my love.


Ah las was standing near me and she asked what was troubling me? I explained ta her that I feel alone even with me friends. I explained my fear of losin Quinn. Of losin ye, my fear that I be alone because I’m so different then everyone else because I do not kill people. She told me its admirable of me ta put me friends first before me, that I do not wish ta kill anyone. That I haven’t killed anyone, I do not know why I opened ta the las. I think it be because I needed someone ta talk ta, someone that would listen and understand me fears. I told the las of me thoughts and what happens in me head when I sleep. Of how me shadow comes up and stands before me. but her words, they comforted me. she said this all be ah test, she left shortly after we finished our talk as I asked her how she knew me name. She said we have met, But I don’t remember meetin her. Perhaps she is right and I just can’t remember right now.

I felt alone, but I have me friends they are what give me strength. I hold ye in me heart and I know we will see each other again, I felt alone.. but I not be alone I have more friends than I can count and each care fer me.  I have met so many here in this world, I will continue to make friends, I will find ye Mi, I promise, No matter how ye are no matter if ye think yer ah monster. I will not let ye go, I have me courage back I will face my darkness I will be yer light in the world once I find ye, I will be yer shield ta keep ye safe from the harm as best I can. Fer ye were alone, but I swear ye will no longer be. Just hold on a little longer Mi. I’m coming fer ye. Just hold on me love hold tight to me thoughts and me songs, We will be together ferever I promise no mater how dark ye think it be, I will be there ta light yer way

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Oh gods what have I done, I swear Mi I didn't know. It was so dark in there, But I found ye. Don't be mad at me please;

*monica rests her head against the wall looking at Mi as she grabs her journal from the desk*

What did they do ta ye, ye don't want me ta imagine but I can't help it. Why don't ye believe me that I still love ye, I can make ye happy I can make ye smile. Don't let their darkness block me out and keep me away from ye, we can still be together I know we can Just give it some effort for me. Ye want me ta say yer dead ta everyone, I...I'll lie ta me friends if it means ta keep ye alive and still be with me. Please Mi let me help heal yer wounds, let us be together still ang get away from this world. Away from Antonescu, Away from everyone that caused ye harm. Ye can still be saved we can still be together in the end. Please, Don't give up on me yet, I haven't given up on ye.

Ye have told me many things as we got out, ye call yerself a monster, ye say I only pitty ye and feel sorry for ye. Aye...I feel sorry, Sorry that I did not find ye sooner; Sorry that I left ye in that hotel room. But we're together again, and I wont let ye go this time. I wont lose ye again ta the darkness of this world. I wish I could make ye see what I see in ye.

*Monica closes her journal and sets it back over onto the desk as she looks down at her love and lays back down holding her and whispers a soft prayer*

Monica: Gods...I pray ta ye, take away 'er pain, take away 'er sorrow and suffering, Give what is mine ta 'er, Let 'er see I still love 'er and wish ta make 'er 'appy. Please I will take her scars if I must, I will carry her sins if I 'ave ta. Let 'er pass over w'en its time to a place that will make 'er 'appy, let 'er go ta the 'alls of 'er forefat'ers... Please, I'll take the darkness from 'er if I must before she dies. I'll take 'er place in 'er 'ell if I 'ave ta. Just let 'er be 'appy.

* Monica slowly drifs back into sleep holding her love close not wanting to let her go*

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

A new home…old friends... and a rough road ahead

I am glad we are out of there we have our place now, I have brought ye masks. I know ye do not wish me ta see yer face and ye always tell me ta hold onta the memory of how ye were, of how ye looked. But how ye look does not matter ta me. I only wish ta make ye happy.

The night he wished me ta let ye out ta open the door and leave. The words ye said at me, they were hurtful and pained me so. Ye kept saying Mi died in the hotel room and all ye be is ah monster now, I don’t believe it but yer words were hurtin me more that and dagger or blade ever could. I decided ta risk it all, If Mi died in the hotel room than I will die in this room we now share. I was scared, I removed one of me bold and stuck it at the ground at yer feet ye looked like ye would do it. But I hoped ye wouldn’t and I was right, Or I was lucky but ye came back. Ye realized that he was wrong, that pain does not make ye stronger than ye already are. Ye came back ta me and it be my turn ta take care of ye. Ye are still my love and my joy and I be yers. It is time fer me ta lie to me friends though, me second lie to em, ta hide ye from em all ta keep ye safe as ye keep me safe. Our road will be rough ahead of us, but we will get through it together.

On another matter I have spoken with hare as the lad helped me and comforted me as at first I faked my tears but they soon became real as we talked and I mentioned the shadow me in me head. The one that wants me ta drink, Her voice I can here at times in me head I can still picture the goblet of black liquid sitting there all fresh in me mind. It’s how I know it not be a dream, and that be why a dream catcher won’t work. Because it not be a dream it be me mind. But I have learned now where ta find him, that he be lost as well tryin ta find his way back. I’ll have ta find him, help him as he helped me. I wont let any more of me friends suffer, I wont let ye suffer anymore either. But before I can I had ta face me shadow in me head again. And I did as we slept my mind drifted into me mental world, of mirror and sand and me shadow.

It was difficult, very difficult. There were more mirrors this time all surrounding me I could hear her giggle and laugh all around me I couldn’t see her but I could hear her still.

Shadow: Back again? Ye ready to just drink yet?

“NO I’m ‘ere ta tell ye ta go away...that I don’t need ye!”

Shadow: Don’t need me? well I think that’s a bit much, ye know I’ve always been t’ere aye?

“NO YE WEREN’T!”

Shadow: O’ but I was las’ of course ye never needed me back ‘ome, we never ‘ad ta worry about someone killin’ us. Someone ‘urtin the ones we love. No one did this.

The mirror infront of me rippled as I saw me being thrown inta the cell with ye that day, that horrible dark cell. It changed ta her face and the damages they have done ta ye.

Shadow: ‘ere ye need me and ye know it. LOOK AT THE DAMAGE THEY DID TA ‘ER!!!

My head was suddenly shoved onto the mirror causing it to shatter and cut me face open as my shadow finally came out into sight her hand on the back of me head as I could feel her digging her fingers into me head locking the grip.

Shadow: YER WEAK YER THE REASON SHE BE LIKE THIS BECAUSE YE WERE AFRAID OF TARLIN!!

Throwing me onto the ground I looks up and was a mirror standing there with Tarlin in it as I looks back and saw the shadow me. Her eyes held the anger and the pain I’ve held inside, wanting to lash out at those that have wronged me since I have been here in this world.

Shadow: Yer pathetic, ye can’t do anythin’ ‘ere…yer to nice to kind, people will just walk over ye because of it. Ye don’t need me… No las’ ye need me now more than ever, now drink it.

I can feel her hand around me neck as she chocked me in there. Even though it was in me head it all felt so real I wanted ta give in, just to make her stop. But then I heard all me friend’s voices again in me head, and I heard yours as well. All telling me to keep fighting it, how its makes them hopeful and inspire them ta fight theirs.

“Yer wrong…Me friends give me strength I’ve touched their ‘earts and they touched mine. We support each ot’er and that be our strength. I won’t give inta ye now, I’m stronger wit’ em. Now, LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Her grip finally eased up as she let me go

Shadow: Very well, ye don’t wish ta believe me that ye need me las’ very well. If ye think ye can still be ye and get out of ‘ere still bein’ ye go a’ead. But….one false move, one slip, one moment that ye are at yer weakest and ye will see… ye will be back ‘ere askin’ fer the goblet.

She left and moved to her chair and sat down and just looked at me sitting there with a smirk on her face as if she knows I’ll be back in the end, that it be inevitable. Because we both knew she will always be there.

Shadow: Before ye leave I am curious, ‘ow far ye willin’ ta go fer ‘er? Fer any of em?

Me head still hurts even though I won that round but her voice is still there whispering in me head. Her question….”How far will ye go..” The one question I never asked meself out of fear even though I know the answer.

*looking over at Mi as she writes in her journal lost in thought by the question before finally writing again*

I would go as far as I have to just to bring ye all back If that means I must engulf meself with the darkness just so I can be their light out away from it all so be it…and fer ye my love…I’m sure ye know the answer to that very question but we are both afraid ta admit it…I would follow ye ta the end of the world. I wish I could help ye get back at those that have harmed ye. But ye will not let me, Be strong Mi…my love, things will get better soon…

*closing her journal and setting it on the table Monica lays back down and mummers a soft gaelic holding her love close*

“Gods please give us the strength ta make it through t’ese dark times. ‘elp me friends and me love find t’eir light. T’eir joy and love let them no longer be trapped in t’eir darkened world. And give me the courage ta face the challenges that may come a’ead.”

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

I can almost stop lying. It is, difficult for me ta lie to me friends. It is not just the fact that I do not like it. But the memories are fresh still in me mind. The sadness I felt when ye were not found. Oh how low I was, but now Tabitha has found out Tarlin be dead. I could not tell the las I knew for part of me did not wish ta believe it either. So I know how she feels, wanting ta talk to him as I wanted to talk to you. We each had our own ways of coping with it, but it be so hard I would go into the fog just to hear yer voice again. And she goes ta a very dangerous place.

But I can stop that soon the lying fer I will have to calm down knowing that ye are safe with me and ta them ye are at peace. Ye told me ye will be gone fer ah few days and asked if I trusted ye. I trust ye Mi, I trust ye know what yer doin and that we will be safe again.

A trip to perfid, that is where we headed after you left. Me back was already twitching as I rubbed me back out of memory of the last time it was not as bad but the site of bodies still bothers me so… while I was there I could hear the shadow me chuckling at me. She knows the question she asked last time still echoes through my mind as we walked these halls. It was hard for me ta stay focused there even though I knew the answer my love it still be a thoughtful thing for her ta ask.  I, I had ta leave me friends after we faced the warden. The smell and sight of the bodies still makes me sick, but me first paper failed because me furs got in the way. So I had ta use ah stronger one and now I have the headache, but it should hopefully pass while ye be out.

Blast it me head hurts, at least she is not chuckling or giggling, she knows the pain also she can feel it when I use some of them stronger papers; I should find Quinn, forget needin ah map I can find me friends without needin a map. I have much ta thank hare fer on this matter of trackin him.

Tabitha…Please be alright las, yer friends love ye and wish ta help ye. But I understand, believe me I do las. To lose someone ye love, but they can never know about my love. Mine must be kept secret fer now it be the only way ta keep her safe and alive. I do not wish ta lose Mi again.


I can see it in yer eyes at times, the anger and pain that now dwells inside ye from what they did. The look that wants to get back at them, I know nothin I say would be able ta stop ye. Nor would I stop ye, they have done terrible thins ta ye Mi. and I know they will have ta pay the price as well.

Please return soon my love and return safely back ta me arms.

*Closing her journal and crawling into bed Monica laid there staring at the ceiling of her room rubbing her head closing her eyes beginning to mummer a soft gaelic prayer and then singing a soft song drifting her into sleep*

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

Chance at a new start….

We’re free…ye said that we be safe now but we still have ta be watchful. I so glad that we can be tagether now. I can see ye smile in yer eyes behind the mask. I wish to see behind it and I tell ye that yer face would not frighten me, yet ye will not let me look. But that is alright we will get ye fixed, as ye said we need gold and we could have a life here. That ye can be anyone ye wanted, ah new name ah new start I could not help but smile seein ye think positive. And then ye told me that Nat found ye, that we had ta talk with her. That she could end it all if ye gave her the names, ye asked me how much I trusted her. I would trust Nat with me life;

But we must be watchful of that witch Millie ye said. That somethin be, off, about the las. I will do me best to avoid her I still hate them fer what they did to ye, all of them the gaurds, that witch, I still hate meself fer letting it all happen fer I not be sure how long it be befor I can fergive meself but I be tryin.


I can feel it now, that strain between ye and me friends. Nat wishes fer me ta be safe but she does not trust ye, sayin ye be his puppet now. But we be free now, ye told him ye didn’t want anything ta do with that letter or whatever be in it. Ye said ye saved his life and gave him information fer our freedom. Still ye said that if he dies that we be in trouble, I asked nat to not do anything ta the lad and she told me she will until she has ta. I’m not scared, fer we will be together and we will watch each other’s backs, She said ye are no longer the same, that the Mi I use ta know if there be any of it left be heavily scared and broken. I won’t believe it I refuse to believe it, I told her I can’t give up on ye, that I know in there yer still there yer just lost right now and I’m tryin ta help ye find yer way back. Nat nodded and just told me ta be careful, I always be careful. But I won’t give up on ye love.

I lay here in bed now waitin fer ye ta finish yer talk with taty, I can only pray she truly keeps quiet about ye bein alive still. But the shadow Monica; I can still feel her presence and hear her question; I have no reason ta go visit her but she is still there. “‘ow far will ye go las’ “ I will go through the darkness and down the deepest holes just ta bring ye back and keep ye safe. If that means I have to be surrounded by darkness but still hold true ta ye and be yer light ta find yer way back, I will do so.


I wish fer us ta be together ferever even in death I do not want us ta be parted. If we be separated in death I will come back fer ye, I will find ye on the other side. I will leave my forefathers great halls and look for ye, for ye have suffered enough, ye have suffered more than enough. Share yer sufferin with me. there must be a way fer us ta be tagether ferever.

*Monica closes her journal and sets it on the desk of the room as she closes her eyes and Mummers a soft gaelic payer and drifts into a light sleep to the sound of the waves rolling in and the smell of salt water in the room*

[Syl]

(Old Nordic Runes)

What am I to do forefathers…?

I just wish things will go back ta normal, there be so much going on so much suffering, mistrust. What can I do? I found me friend I found Quinn. Gods what happened ta ye lad, I was frightened aye ta see him but I swallowed me fear. Yer now a monster lad remember that, yer nothing like the monsters I have seen, yer nothin like Millie. I have seen what the las has done ta Mi, it pains me ta see her like that because of her. Seein the las and speakin about her made me angry, angry at her, at meself. I should have followed her that night.

Speakin with Quinn I can see he does not enjoy me seein him so, but I understand now. We talked fer ah while he said hes new look would give me more nightmares, and that’s when I told him that I have seen far worse  and he felt sorry for me. Sorry that I had so see such things that I should not have, I had to ask him if he knew how to restore the damages to a face. I did not mention ye Mi I used me as an example but I have been pointed into a direction now, I told ye that I will find a way to get yer face mended and I will I just now need ta find some folks called drewids? I think that be how ye would spell it.

I told Quinn that I wished to help him, but he told me that I be of greater help than I even know. I do not know what I be doin that be helpin him. But I will keep doin me best ta be there fer him, I wanted ta return ta ye Mi. I did not want ye ta worry too much about me but I finally had a chance ta talk with Tabitha, I feel so sorry for the las. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a long time and I worry for her,  Please be safe Tabitha and get some rest otherwise your goin ta be so much worse.


I spoke with Nat not long after, we headed into the fog and we talked while we walked around, I tried explaining to her that ye don’t know who ta trust right now, that I do not think ye tried playin her fer ah fool. I told her I would talk with ye, but I do not want ye mad at me. Nat says she can no longer trust ye and never will. I can only hope the las be sayin that fer now, I want us all ta be happy and be friends.

                                 What should I do?

I must be faithful ta ye Mi, ye have not lied ta me ever and I am the only one ye trust. I would never go against ye, I wish ta keep ye safe we will get through this love and we will be together. Ye will feel the wind on yer face again, and if we have to we can disappear and start somewhere else. I’ll go get us drinks ta celebrate the good news of ah lead on getting ye mended, and it would be a nice thing ta do ta share some drinks with ye. So sell the items buy some drinks and return home ta ye.

*closing her journal monica sighs with relief as the smell of the sea surrounded her as the wagon finally exited the mist and stopping at its destination, climbing out of the wagon monica looked to the city of Port-a-lucine and smiled her worries slowly drifting from her mind as she headed into the city to sell the items she has collected as dusk began to fall*