Heterochromia

[Mailbox0000]

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Where to properly begin? Is there such a thing?
Perhaps, though I know nothing of the sort.
One moment I am in Port-á-Lucine, obeying my father's will, when next I am enveloped in mists and suddenly upon a hill overlooking a pack of wolves.
Mon dieu, how suddenly things can change.
I have heard of those who are taken by the mists from various realities, and have been told the mists have a mind of their own. Seeking all for a purpose, however great , however small.
I wonder then what purpose it has for taking me.
In the city, my home, I was but a puppet of my father. A slave to his will. Disobedience earned me the scars I live with to this day.
A reminder of how fragile I truly am, despite posturing toward otherwise.
Pain is a good teacher.  

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I watch the pack as they sense some prey and disappear into the wood, when they return it is at the heel of a wild eyed deer.
They catch it, and they feast.
I watch this all from my perch and am reminded how I am alone, far from everything I once knew and held as my reality.
I am free, and I am no deer.
~Dupont 

[Mailbox0000]

I have learned I am In Barovia.
A fisherman offered information readily enough after nearly having a heart attack at my sudden appearance.
Like he had seen a ghost.
The day here is harsh, the night lethal. I have found refuge in a temple of all places.
The Temple of Dawn.

I watch the many and different faces as they flit in and out and about. Some never to be seen again.
I hear the cultists say the end of each day is but the beginning of another, so long as you do not become lost in the night.
I feel they are right, in just about every connotation conceivable.

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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuVO2cLy4fY[/youtube]

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I have committed atrocities in my father's name, though I will no longer live in his shadow.
Not here, not now.
I have taken a new name, a new identity, discarding the lacquered blacks I once owned in favor of something a little more... unique.
How easily I stand out in a crowd, perhaps this cloak is too much.
I'll just have to live with it.

~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

I have had the misfortune of arriving just at the onset of winter.
As such, there is precious little honest work to be found, not that I've ever subscribed. If one is to make a solar here there must be blood and toil.
This suits me just fine, as my facility for violence is extraordinary.
If there is one thing I have taken with me from home, it is the art of murder.
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I can't say how many have died by my hand, the memories are a distant haze.
Regardless of what was said, regardless of how they screamed.
There are exceptions, of course, the voices that persist.
I tell myself I was only following orders,
that it was all I knew,
that I was afraid,
alone, a slave;

but we always have a choice.


When reverie fails me, my friend does not.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

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The preacher comes, rain, snow, or sun shine.
Near upon every day.
Most of his words fall on deaf ears, but mine are keen
and his words resonate deep within me,
painting a picture of otherwise undefined thoughts and experience.
Patterns in the abstract.
Peace of mind is beyond any price, and he gives it freely,
if you are willing to listen.
If you are willing to learn.

Though all the knowledge in the world means nothing without application...
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My mind returns to home, the life I lived in the past.
The friends I had are long gone now, even before the mists took me.
Dead or retired and having fled the city to enjoy their lives.
I learned almost all I know through them,
one way or another.
I wish I could thank them for the lessons that see me through hard times.
That make me the person I am today.
I will never forget, in all my years remaining.
~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKAeG8fy1fg[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

"Remove hood and state name and occupation."

"Argali. Hunter and vagabond."

"Move along, fey."

"I always do."

"Nu backtalk, fey."

I smile.
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DViO9f40K48[/youtube]
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I find myself in the Drain, awaiting the arrival of an associate when -she- comes...
The She-Devil.

"What are you doing here?"

"Waiting on someone."

"For what?"

"Work, perhaps."

She smiles.

"Come with me."
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

It turns out my associate belongs to some caliban gang.
A caliban gang composed of not a single caliban.
The Wrongborn.
A fitting name, none-the-less, given the circumstances that have led each to join its ranks.
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"Our priority is to protect and serve the interest of the Drain's common-health.
Will you kill whoever I ask?"

"Non. I offer no such promise of loyalty, only honesty."

"You wouldn't be asked to do anything without a reason or you are comfortable with,
for instance, one of our members refuses to kill children."

"Bien."

"Will you kill whoever I ask?"

"If so, without hesitation."

She smiled as if to suggest, "we'll see".

"My subordinate speaks highly of you, I'm convinced.
Expect a job soon."

Not long after I learned there is a second gang in the Drain.
The Fangs.
Their boss shambled up to our table as he was introduced to us newcomers.
Words were shared, though I remember most a single comment of his...
Humorous, if not indicative.
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"All them yellowskins look the same to me."
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

It is easy to regress into old habits.
To find yourself in the same place and the same predicament and scarcely notice it.
I am a killer by trade, though nothing made me happier than to escape that world of politics.
To be free to live my own life.
And yet here I am again, being drawn into the kennels...
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... but I am no dog.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

"Yesterday's a dream, tomorrow's a vision,
Today is when we make a decision."

Those were not the Dawn cultist's words, precisely... but that is how I remember them.
A funny thing, memory.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

She was livid.
I told her restraint was key,
though she did not hear me.
Her mind was far and away, besieged on all sides by enemies...
Though I never saw a single one.

Belief is funny, however,
in that if you believe something hard enough,
it has the tendency to come true.
~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZD4H-E0UT0Q[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

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Where ever I go, where ever I look,
they play at their politics,
their game of thrones.
I swore I'd play no part, but I already have.
The Wrongborn are no more...
...the Fang flourish.

I hardly understand what even occurred, but it was fast,
and it was final.
HE is no caliban of small means.
Whether a bluff or a legitimate seizure of power,
it's all the same.
So much changed at his whim.
~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25KABvPbq-U[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

I smile in the face of death. For even if I die horribly, I lived well.

[Mailbox0000]

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She's always there, no matter what I do.
Through the best, through the worst.
She's seen it all and can smile at me in such a way I feel that everything that's come before...
...is nothing to what's to come.
~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_7-a_Cg2xz0[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

It is a fool's prerogative to take offense where none is intended, and greater still where it is.

[Mailbox0000]

I saw an old friend.
I was excited to see her, to speak how we used to,
but she didn't seem to recognize me.
It filled me with an indescribable melancholy, though it has passed.
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~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

Our orders were clear, Boss Skinny left no room for confusion:
Last one standing was the winner.
He paid for two barrels of Hoth's cheapest swill, though it seemed more like Hoth paid -him- to take them...
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We realized that... nobody wins in a drinking challenge.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

The landscape down here changes like the contents of the runoff.
Its almost amusing.
First the Wrongborn were done away with, now their replacement, the Shunned.
The specifics are beyond me, once again, but the message is clear:
Don't cross the figureheads.
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I've been around these games enough to understand them.
Its only the version the Drain plays is much quicker. Exile is common. Execution less so.
It is exciting, in its way, to observe these games of unknown stakes.
Everyone has an angle, and everyone is playing whether they know it or not.
Most I see scurry about, jumping at the first piece of cheese they find, only for it to be a trap, breaking their spine.
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I am patient, and my move is yet to come.
~Dupont

 

[Mailbox0000]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPgwKAF5_P0[/youtube]

I've found, in my experience with the varied races,
in this melting pot of life,
many people are crabs.
They hate to see another climb from their confines.
To rise above.
To escape to realms denied to them.
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They say Misery loves company,
and in a house of crabs, you have to step on a few faces to get where you're going.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

Surprise, surprise, another change.
Skinny is now Underboss, how exciting.
It seems there's a trail of blood leading to his new office. It will be some time before that can be cleaned up.
Neesy is the new Fang Boss... she extended Taskmaster to me, though I think I'll pass.
I don't think it would sit well with an elf telling anyone down here what to do.
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Decisions, decisions.
We'll see.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

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This position of Taskmaster has made me realize something.
In the end, it seems there's nothing I really want down here.
I wanted so badly to fit in,
somewhere,
anywhere,
that I failed to heed the most important thing of all:
the truth.

The truth is, I don't care about the Drain or any of it's inhabitants,
caught up in their politics and power struggles.
I'm so far removed from it I can hardly believe I stuck around as long as I did.
There are movers, shakers, and backstabbers galore down here,
and it means nothing to me.

This is their world.
Mine is somewhere else.
Far,
far,
away.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

Seclusion and reverie have been the only constants in my life the past while.
The Crow is there too, but she comes and goes as she is wont to.
I do not.
I sit here wondering at paths taken rather than which to take, 
but It doesn't really matter how I got here,
only where I'm going. The way leads ever on, so I've heard.

So where am I going?



Home.
~Dupont

[Mailbox0000]

I've always had a flair for the dramatic.
There's a full moon as I right this.

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I feel like I lost everything,
the Crow's flown like a fading dream.

By my command, from my hand,
in the end I hope she'll understand.

Though the rain falls on her as she flies,
it'll pass again to clear blue skies.

Sunshine, Sunshine.
Though we're strangers, its your's and mine.

~Dupont
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 [youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AIdXisPqHc[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

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I often like to think my life has been difficult.
Waaah, I lacked proper guidance.
Waaah, I wish things were different.
Waaah, I'll never amount to anything.

Wonderful excuses to keep me from doing anything.
To abscond me from responsibility.

Its simply too easy to drown in some vice or another.

But I am a thinker, not a drinker...
I am a thespian, not a lesbian...
And I am brave... and not a slave.

I've lived so long in fear of my father  finding and killing me that I've simply hidden away.
Invariably, his shadow always finds me.
I can see it clearly now,
and I am not afraid anymore.
If he should claim my life,
so be it.

I will die free,
and wild,
and me.

~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Tja6_h4lT6A[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

I have a life.
It's amazing how things can be when you aren't busy worrying about others,
planning and scheming how to act and behave.
That's what a doppelganger does.

I've always played things by ear.
Plans have the nasty habit of falling apart, leaving you to improvise with the pieces.
Especially when your plans involve that most chaotic element;
life.

~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqEu6JpIvqw[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

I spend an inordinate amount of time in and around the Temple of Dawn.
I've heard countless sermons from all manner of faiths.
This is what I believe...

There is a force called destiny.
Our death's are predetermined.
We all get the same deal, a life time.

Thus, fear...
is irrational; insanity.

It brings men to spiritual death long before their biological one.
We are spiritual beings having a physical experience,
not the other way around.

["Every man dies- not every man really lives."]

Many turn to anger to fight their fears, this in turn leads to hate, which in turn leads to suffering. (sue me)
Fighting darkness with darkness results in a whole lot of god damn darkness.
It's a bottomless pit:
the Abyss.

["He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster... when you gaze long into the abyss the abyss also gazes into you..."]



Those in darkness seek to fill their void for lack of light.
Lack of virtue.
They turn to wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy, and gluttony.
At worst, embracing and exuding these qualities and becoming paragons of evil,
corrupting and pulling down other souls to their personal level of hell.



Of course... misery LOVES company.

[" Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned.
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity. "]

~Dupont
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6oNE2lT8R4[/youtube]

[Mailbox0000]

As there is a place called hell,
there too is a place called heaven.

These are states of mind,
spiritual realms we inhabit NOW.
Whether we know it or not.

We don't find these realms after a biological death,
but rather, a spiritual one.
We die in our spirits and are reborn countless times.
It is how we grow,
how we change.

Many refuse to die.
They cling wretchedly to life,
living ever after in denial;
undead.

Death is a cycle of life.
To persist stubbornly after the fact is unnatural and leads to cancer in the spirit.

It is then important to learn to identify symptoms of this cancer in others and, most importantly,
one's self.
Lest you find yourself in the abyss amongst the countless legions of hell.

["Death is no more than passing from one room into another. But there's a difference for me, you know. Because in that other room I shall be able to see." -Helen Keller]

~Dupont
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["Those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything." -George Bernard Shaw]
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[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvLztHir4aw[/youtube]