Damn you, Lucadia. For one as powerful as you, your will is weak. You give up the fight with a baby on the way. You create delusions that everyone hates you, and that your loved ones never cared.
Lucadia, you are one of the very few non-humans I can mentally tolerate, or at least could. And now? You make me sick. I all but begged you to keep fighting, yet all you do is return to your ball of self pity.
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In other news, I do not think my sickness has gotten worse. Mind you, it's not better. A part of me, my damnable academic desire, wants to see what I become in the further stages of the sickness. I can't. I have to remain strong for dear Heart. My Raven sister.
I plan to ask if I might have her last name. Maybe Inari's last name? I want both. I do not have a legal name or last name, so I may do as I damn well please.
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The Fourth Sect, or at least Heris who is Lacusta's lapdog, has been watching Stefania. Damnit all, I do not want to be in the middle of this, but I do not want to see Stefania killed. I swore to go into silence. I should try to get her to do so as well.
I gave her my last dose of opium to help her cope. She better not have thrown it away behind my back.