Author Topic: Ramblings of Ravenheart (Read 10772 times)

armybrat69 · « **on:** April 27, 2012, 11:24:09 PM »

Today I find myself torn in both mind and body, I have been in these lands for a few years and it looks as if this will be my final home. I have endured much in this time but have never given any consideration to write it down. I will not be keeping this chronicle in the hopes of others to see but merely in the hopes of keeping my own sanity in check. Maybe by seeing what I have viewed be on paper it will retain some of its reality to me in these most troubling of times. Now where to begin...

It was just recently an old friend of mine whom had been missing for over a year returns to us but lacks any memories of his absence. I am happy that Vanquist is back but I now worry he may disappear again leaving Miss Miou once again heartbroken. I don't have much more to write on this, I think he has many of his own worries t oattend to and naturally he keeps these to himself. But it seems any of my usual traveling companions and friends have developed either unusual habits or have frankly lost their minds. My old time mentor Atlantia is one such to do so...I would write more but it is painful for me to dwell on. The crafter Sudhri I was told suffered a head injury in her past which has left her with a mind of a child, despite her ..odd ways she is usually a good companion to have around.

As for Sylvonas...heh well she is a rather blunt and honest person which has resulted in her often getting into fights. She is a true warrior at heart and seems to always look for a challenge. While this is a good thing to try and improve oneself she challenges the very night of these lands searching for the next biggest baddest wolf to take down. She hunts them with an unusual passion. I have warned her of the dangers but she faces them with even more relish than before. I will be here to help her as she has ben to keep me out of harms way..but even I can only do so much.

I am currently torn if I should remain in the outskirts temple or if I should dedicate more time to the village of Barovia. Many evils walk these lands still.. I will have to see day by day where I am most needed. For now I will follow my heart which still seems to be on the right track at least...

armybrat69 · « **Reply #1 on:** May 01, 2012, 01:39:42 PM »

After the last few days I feel I may just return to the temple and see of those that may need my help. Despite the quiet level of activity there it is, well, it is what I most desire and need after my latest discoveries and adventures with the hapless Sudhri. She wished for the desire to go and gather silver metal for her crafting and had recruited a small group to go with them, now I have been but once to this mine and that trip nearly proved fatal. The cave is filled with unusually large cats and bear(oh how I hate bears now!) and magic fires off in those caves like a gnome trying to show off some new invention. To be caution I told the group of my limited supplies for resurrections (since a few there showed signs of carelessness) and I explained I was only to be enchanting the front line combatants which were Frederick and Sudhri. We had done quite well the first few levels of this cave but Sudhri and was frustrated at the lack of silver which was possibly on the last cavern of this cave. I stated plainly I was not going down but sudhri felt she could lure the beasts up one at a time which nearly killed her. I will also add that these creatures possessed spells that seems on par with my own but they were in larger number than us. After defeating either a large shadow type cat or bear I don't quite recall in the confusion since in the heat of battle the wretched cave wished to impart blindness on me. But after the effect wore off and I tried to heal those that were most injured, thankfully our party also had their own means of some healing, we convinced a reluctant Sudhri we lacked the appropriate tools to complete the task of her finding silver. Even the battle hardened Frederick was glad to depart.

Our next useless journey was to go and hunt the water trolls so Sudhri could gather more alchemy reagents. Of course with our current luck we nearly got ambushed at a cave door by several of them. I think Sudhri was correct in her assessment that they had heard the echoes of battle in the caves and came to see. Regardless we left. I took this as a sign to slow down in such ventures and perhaps go back to merely aiding those in need. My assumption of this was proven to be most correct when Sudhri and I explored some of the caves closer to Vallaki we encountered something I have never in my elven days even seen...a were-bear! Now my history of me and bears is not great I have found the normal ones more deadly then the neuri. Now some accounts I have heard of state them to be quite intelligent creatures since they are like the neuri under a curse that changes normal man into a hybrid of a beast, but there was no reasoning with this one nor his angry pack of dire bears. I figured we had stumbled into their den and I would have left if not for the fact Sudhri had gotten knocked out and was bleeding profusely with the bears in my way to get to her. I reluctantly moved back and prayed for help and returned with the aid of a summoned dire tiger that engaged the creatures while I tried to get to Sudhri. The werebear wasnt going to let me pass so I used a light hammer spell to daze him and I unfortunately killed him in the process. But the bears were out of the way and I was able to get to Sudhri before she bled out entirely.

But I can recant of at least one decent trip we had made. After following Sudhri into a den of werecreatures which we never go to anymore I found out why we were directed there. Three other outlanders had gone into the cave and were nearly wiped out from one room of the neuri. Sudhri, myself, and another man that was traveling with us followed them the rest of the cave while I healed them. At least here i was more helpful. And I also would like to note that my efforts to help others without requiring payment has gone quite well. People I once aided in have given diamonds they have found to me so I may continue my work. This if nothing else makes my efforts all the more wothwhile.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #2 on:** May 02, 2012, 12:56:36 PM »

It seems I was indeed most needed today while back at the outskirts temple, a man was brought in covered in blood and clutching the side of his head while in obvious pain. I tended to his other more obvious injuries first and it was only afterwards he reluctantly moved his hand and I could see the gaping bloody hole of what used to be his eye. I was told Mother was responsible for this injury. I haven't seen her resort to this level of violence yet so I will now be sure to make a report to the other Morninglords and I will be sure to caution the outlanders (if they will even listen). But back to the injured man. I was asked of course if I could try and fix the missing eye, not an easy thing but I possess certain blessings available if I pray for them. I prayed and prepared a blessing that is called "monstrous regeneration" and true to its name it almost mimics the regeneration abilities of the neuri but only for a very short duration. I told the man (Sir Daev is his name) I may need to do this several times before his eye could be fully restored and to ensure no infection I also bandaged it. He is grateful and most of all hopeful his eye will grow back, I am also quite optimistic he will retain his full vision since he had come to our temple so soon after the injury. But of course time will tell so I must go and check on him over the next few days and see. Now if only we could find a way to stop this beast from not only feeding on but now maiming people. *she stops here realizing she must go and report some new findings to her temple in regards to Mother*

armybrat69 · « **Reply #3 on:** May 05, 2012, 03:23:09 PM »

After about three days of treatment Sir Daev has regained his lost eye and with no scarring. I am most pleased with these results but I am sure not nearly as much as he is, I recall just a few days ago of him trying to judge the depth of things with only his remaining eye, I am glad his sight is fully restored. Today I am confined more to the temple due to Mother Liz being absent right now. I dont feel right standing here with my current ranking in the church but in the absence of others I will continue to offer healing to those in need within these walls.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #4 on:** May 10, 2012, 02:33:44 AM »

Once again I wonder how do all the crazy people end up only in our temple, I swear we must have some unseen sign that advertises such. One good example would be today, we have a person dressed in dark clothing that likes to weld a whip go into the crypt below the temple and demand an elf's arm as payment for following them. Upon the elf and her her friends trying to defend them selves from this mad-person he summons some skeleton that chases the elven maiden up to the top and kills her inside the temple. It was after this point I had re entered the temple for the day to see Brother Legos and others battling these things and the one responsible for summoning the undead abomination just disappears naturally. Mother Liz is able to resurrect the young elf woman and she tells me what had happened below the temple before, i took notes and made some reports of it but I wonder even the sanity of her own actions.

She claims the man is still out to get her if she is unable to give him an elven arm but she will not remain in a safe location. It was not long after she had rested but she runs down alone to the crypt and begins to kill the undead that never fail to always spring back up form their eternal unrest. She is killed below by a group of zombies, after a hunch I had gone down to check on her and yes I found her body. Like I have done with many a new outlander that has met a ghastly fate below i bring the body back up to the top of the temple in hopes of either bringing the person back to life or at least laying them to est properly so they do not join in the other undead that haunt those crypts.

And what is with the need to carry violence into a temple? I mean really now people who are injured wish to recover in our temple and some merely wish to find a safe area to stay in for the night. You would think some people would have either common courtesy or common sense but neither are prevalent in the outskirts! I got necromancers in search of body parts from the living, undead eating people, and good kind (yet disturbed) people leaving bug entrails as a donation. I blame Sudhri for the last part , that girl carries the oddest hings on her for her crafts. But she does make some fine things even I have to admit.

But she is insane! Like last night I was out late and traveling with her and naturally we run into a small pack of neuri, not that this is unusual for these lands, but I don't think normal people play "patty-cake" with the Lycans either. And if that isn't bad enough if she sees a "bitey" (her word for vrolock) she yells with glee and pulls out a pair of pliers in order to remove their fangs. Oh yes and my crude but strong friend Sylvonas has taken to hunting the neuri for sport. My admonitions of them being cursed people does little to steer her from these activities. And since I disapprove of such since she is essentially hunting people that are suffering in their own way I do not join her "hunts".

But I will continue my herbalism up until winter hits again, at least Sylvonas brings me plants she finds at night since I prefer to stay indoors after dark. I have acheived many new recipes since I began, I may have to start recording the more difficult ones here, so many plants and combinations to recall! But anyways I will try and gather more information for this report in case this lunatic mage decides to try and bring more abominations into our holy grounds.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #5 on:** May 14, 2012, 04:45:23 AM »

*pictures can be seen drawn along the edges of some various things that have unusual words written beside them as if they were written phonetically*

Today has proven to be most an...informative day for me. The mists seem to have delivered a man that speaks a foreign tongue that is almost unheard of to me here, he was found by Sylvonas outside the temple unconscious. Examining him revealed that he was not suffering from any disease or injury but merely from not having had any food or rest for possibly several days. Normally I will always ask a person if they wish to be healed since so many are wary of any form of magic here in Barovia, but he was unable to speak so went ahead and performed a restoration on him. This seemed to do the trick and he was able to come around but I wasn't able to understand him. He seems to speak a foreign tongue I have heard similar dialects since I have been here in Barovia but he has an accent that is not from here maybe it was that plane called...Earth. Anyway he wished for help to be able to speak common so I now have a student(this sounds silly even now!) whom I will teach to speak common, and maybe even learn some of his own language too.

I must admit that even though I have been in these lands for some time now I am still only fluent in both common and elven. I had picked up some draconic words in my studies of magic however due to the unstable emotional state of any native here i refrain from ever speaking this naturally. I have seen too many executions of "witches" to even risk something so petty. Seeing this man struggle to learn another language makes me wish to actually study balok more. Of course I understand basic sentence structures and I now recognize several words but that is about all. I know enough to interact with the natives when required to but it would never hurt to learn more of this language. Reminds me I will need to go to the book store in town and get more writing supplies, I may need to use the aid of pictures in order to help this new strange outlander to speak common. Herr Ryon von Hector, a knight of a foreign god "jehovah" I will look foward to learning more of this diety, it never fails to amaze me of all the different dieties other seem to worship.

I also need to remember to bring more alchemy bottles and resin for Clydessa. I have seen her before but we have never really spoken much prior to her asking me for help on a few things like the funeral for an old friend of hers. I believe she is one of the leaders of this Wayfarer Kinship I have heard of before. She is also a woman of many stories and information, I look foward to meeting her later on.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #6 on:** May 17, 2012, 05:55:57 AM »

These last few days...I am not even sure if it is safe for me to record all of the events. I feel like I am almost in over my head now and if I'm not careful i will be pulled in entirely. Miou I fear is gone for good she is with Hala and the Weave now. Van hasn't been seen since I fear he may be lost again to the mists. Two of my closest friends, gone just like that. And I had to hear of the news of Miou from the rumor mill of all places. Since I do not know the actual events of her demise I will not even write them but i will count her as gone and bury her in my heart since I cannot see her have a proper burial.

[the rest of the writing here seems smeared from getting wet, water stains can be seen on the page]

OK..I think I can stop getting upset over Miou like my father, sister and other friends they can only live on in my memories. I may be a priestess but not everyone can be or should be brought back. It goes back to faith like many other things in my life here. I cant but help feel this rage that seems to grow in me...at times it brings me passion and energy to help others and to keep going and then there are times I lock up with fear. I thank my faith in the Dawnbringer now to give me the courage to not freeze up and fight to help those that need protection the most. What once made me cower in fear I am slowly gaining my confidence back. But questions still linger for me. I want the truth now. Of Him and what he wants from his mortal servants. It has been shown to me that these lands hold so much more than meets the eye. My desire to learn more grows daily now. I wish to write more but to do so is not wise...no this revelation is for me only I feel however I see it and is not meant for anyone else to know.

[odd symbols can be seen drawn throughout the rest of the page in no particular order, most of various spirals and some that resemble either candles or eyes]

armybrat69 · « **Reply #7 on:** May 17, 2012, 06:14:05 AM »

I hate to write this and I will feel bad if someone ever seems my writings but...I really really do not understand elves!

Ok I said it...I am an elf..but what is all this horse**** with the arrogance of some as if they are better than say a human , dwarf, halfling, caliban , whoever. We are all people with souls, feelings ambitions hopes dreams blah blah. Racial pride and the dedication to our ancestors is one thing but to try and start a war because you feel you are right and the rest of the universe is wrong is a bit inflated to me. I imagine the Count of these lands is not this arrogant in his thinking. Ok...I am so off track currently but I need to keep hope up. So a few dumb elves used magic when they shouldn't have. Now barovians who are already not fond of us are now afraid. I was even told by garda under threat of bodily harm to not enter the city one day. This is how bad tensions have gotten. I always wonder why they think such of elves, I mean we are just as rational or irrational as any other people, we have our quirks yes but nothing that outrageous. Then some odd skinned elf comes strutting into the temple with his large dire wold and his sword drawn insulting everyone and picking on a sick individual. He even referred to me as a "human" since I was not of his "tribe".

He may not be around for long he presented his same attitude to the garda that morning and was promptly chased off. My warnings were ignored sadly and it brings me back to an old saying:"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead."

And with that said I will now retire to more important things, like sleep....

armybrat69 · « **Reply #8 on:** May 22, 2012, 12:22:20 PM »

Fear. This is the one word that seems to make up my current existence, i mean there are a few other good old emotions that may follow me as well, lets see...paranoia, anger, um..yeah but mostly fear. Some of this I can write but most of my exact thoughts I fear to even put down on paper but they will be recorded somewhere.

*below anyone looking in her journal would see just a blank space but words have indeed been written here they are just not able to be seen by normal measures*

There now I may write my thoughts down in more comfort than before. What I want to write is that I fear for my life. After Legos had made his band of undead hunters less than a week ago he had boldly advertised its presence and has seen to draw the negative attention of the ruler of this land. An agent has just the other day come to our temple within the city and murdered several barovians due to the existence of these Lightbringers. I find this very hard to accept there HAS to be more of a reason than just a simple group wishing to stamp out the numbers of undead that plague these lands. And now it has cost Izabela her child, she has miscarried and now I am worried for her own safety. I spoke to Petra our Dawnspear about this and outwardly she seems calm but I cannot help but feel there are other emotions at play. This attack was a big hit to us, I haven't even told Atlantia out of fer of what she may do in retaliation. I...I want to do something but even I am not sure what would be best, or even productive. This is what I leave to my prayers to my Deity, for I will await either his guidance or more possibly a sign to act to for later.

I have told Sylvonas some of the details regarding this, and I have also been approached by another man who has offered his services as a bodyguard, Syl will be more than glad to protect me as it gives her an excuse to use her sword. But do I need more "help" on this? A bit of inquiring was that if I was to be dead I would be already. Such comforting words..and I must pause here for a feel that large presence over me again, I hear the breathing but the light is too dim to reflect the shadows correctly for me to see. I turn around and I see only the pillar of the temple I often lean against to for support. Bloody hells is he here? How does one like that move so quietly.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #9 on:** May 23, 2012, 02:59:47 AM »

On this page all that seems to be on it is a drawing of two individuals:

One appears to be a dwarf with a longer than usual beard with a holy symbol in his hand

Another is of a man, presumably human welding a whip and some writing in elven beside each picture

armybrat69 · « **Reply #10 on:** May 24, 2012, 02:19:25 AM »

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw today...my little brother had found his ways thru the mists and I find him grown into an adult. I wish to know what skills he has trained in, what condition my mother was in before he arrived..oh the questions go on and on. But I am unable to attend to him solely my duties to the temple are increasing as are demands it seems for my attention. When it rains..it pours..or so it seems. I also need to seriously look at the friends I possess. They would lay their very lives to keep me safe..but they also hold little regard to the lives of others. Here is a fine example:

Last night I encounter the soul of a man that had been mauled by Neuri and he came to me for comfort and solace since he was ripped away from his body so suddenly and no doubt painfully. I had to wait until the light of dawn but i was able to bring him back with the spirits permission. The man was weakened from his ordeal but he was able to walk again and continue on with his day afterwards. And after doing such a wonderful deed I now have the blood of another man on my hands since he was killed in our very temple. All I can say is he was an outlander from a type of primitive army and he obviously thought he was still in his native land. He refused to sheath his sword and continued to brandish it even after I told him repeatedly to put it up or I would need to do so forcefully and have him leave the temple. My much faster companions however were there and beat him to death while he continued to threaten them and myself. Another member was able to have Mother Liz resurrect him and explained the rules once he was healed up and more coherent. I also need to find him so I can return his coin which had fallen from the body during the conflict. I will reiterate to my friends that while I appreciate their protection of me in our travels, while within the temple I must be the one to stop such violence. If I am in over my head I can ask for help then and only then. OK I am tired and I wish to speak to my little brother. I will continue to strive and to be a better person but sometimes it seems waay to challenging.

Oh gods...where did Syl and Sudhri go? I told them to keep an eye on Hal ... bloody hells I bet they took him somewhere stupid....time to go continue my duties as a preistess and hope I will not need to ask the Morninglord to show mercy to my brother....

*the ink is smeared on the last word as if it was written in a hurry and the last part left unfinished*

armybrat69 · « **Reply #11 on:** June 04, 2012, 03:45:51 AM »

*several pages are torn out from this journal*

armybrat69 · « **Reply #12 on:** June 04, 2012, 03:58:49 AM »

Looking at the last entries I have made I realize how foolish is was of me to write such things at all! If someone had read them people I care about now could be dead. I will say nothing more than what I have heard over the past few weeks is not only speculation but pure fiction. I will also be more cautious if I record odd dreams in here. Atlantia has resumed training me in some things and teaching me more of the true ways of the morninglord. She seems satisfied with the growth of my physical aptitude as well as my abilities as I grow as a dawnbringer. I have also been practicing my small but hopefully inspiring services to some of the ill that have been treated at our temple in the village. As Atlantia has said the village only appears to be more quiet than the outskirts but it still has its fair share of problems. Which is why I will spend some time between both places. Thanks to the Vistani and my better walking speed (traveling with a monk will do this) I can travel at a faster pace and it gives me opportunities to collect plants for tonic making too. Once winter hits again I will decide where I should remain but for now traveling is best.

I will also be looking for an instructor to teach me Balok. I have been in these lands for a few years now but have yet to learn more words other than "domn" "domna" "iadul" and a few other choice words. We morninglords are supposed to be able to help others and spread words of hope...well hard to do so in either common or elven only. I see more humans than elves in these lands and I would like to be able to interact with some of the natives in a more positive way. Not to mention next time there is a conflict in the temple with people speaking balok I wont need an interpretor. Hmm...maybe this winter i will head to the port and seek out the university there.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #13 on:** August 02, 2012, 03:40:10 AM »

*splotches of what may be tears seem to smear the pages of this entry*

Why did she do it...I know what is said but I also know the "laws" of these lands. I now question these "bounties" as they appear on the board. Vallaki holds little value for me anymore for it seems all people I know eventually meet their end here. Even my brother has vanished. I am also annoyed with myself for my lack of strength in battle against the evils of this land. I may be very adept at healing with the blessings graciously given to me by my deity however I lack much in physical strength.

At least my studies have been more productive. With the blessing of the vicar I have taken extended leave of absence in the winters to further my studies in Balok. It will be a great time before I am fluent in it however I am more keen on what is said by the locals. I have also furthered my studies in both herbalism and alchemy. I...I cannot bear to lose more friends here. I first willingly came through the mists to search for my father...he has fallen. Now my brother I am sure has met a similar fate. My focus must change now...vengeance is desirable however it is foolish to focus upon. I will continue on my current path to better myself and to help others when I may. Survival is top priority now. I have given up hope of escape here so I will now work on accepting this land and doing what I can to continue on. The bodies of my deceased friends may not get the proper burials but I will see to some sort of memorial to them.

I...I wonder if this is the lesson I must learn and bear...despite my great blessings I am merely mortal and not all can be brought back...And as for the book I discovered today...what has been whispered in fear is most true...I fear to even write the words in this journal...I suppose it is for the best.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #14 on:** August 07, 2012, 01:53:56 AM »

Oh joys..and pains of travel with my lunatic friends. I am now well acquainted with the wonderful workings of Har Akir slavery. What started as a possibly normal venture to assist the vicar with her research in the desert ended up with two of my companions mutated and myself mostly emotionally scarred from my time in the slave cages. I will say however it was not a total failure for I was given a great test of my faith by my god and I was rescued. The Gray One will never know the depths of my gratitude for this. I ahd also feared my other companions had paid the ultimate price for their own foolishness but had somehow managed to get away alive if not unchanged. The small one is still as obnoxiously optimistic as ever however he will not be able to show his um...lizardlike face anywhereand hope to live. As for Blade..whom is now referred to fondly as "Lizzy" she is...well her personality is still the same however her speech is most odd.

My abilities have improved which has been noticed by the others. I feel this was a reward for surviving such an ordeal and also for regaining my freedom.

As for that wretched sandbox of iadul I would be more at home having tea with the Ice Queen then spending another day there. Heck the sewers of the Port smell more lovely than that vipers nest.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #15 on:** August 07, 2012, 02:10:04 AM »

What I fail to understand about people is why there is such a need to surround themselves with items of little value other than looking nice or making one seem overly important. I mean looking important or rich only means you are a better target to the thieves as someone to rob or kidnap. Besides I see so many people left in poverty with little food or clothing however those of "fine upbringing" could care less and most likely hope they never have to see such people themselves. Heavens forbid. I encounter a most pathetic pansy of a man that seemed to take pity on me for "having to work for a living" yet was offended by my manner of dress. It was of course not in his desire to put me in a more "appropriate" attire and the fact I was heading to a hotel to shower and change mattered little. The mindset of these snobs born with silver spoons in their mouths is honestly sad. They may be most upset to know I pity them more than a peasant. People whom have little know how to survive with less. If these pampered pansies had to actually give up their silks and refineries they would be crushed. I secretly would love to see one of the fools tell some caliban brute to please dress more elegantly. Watching the brute hammer said noble into the cobbled streets would be most amusing. I do hope the fine noble gaurd that decided to inform me of my offense has received the coin i collected in their own sewers! Talk about dirty money heheehehe....

Well it seems some things may be back to normal. I am still haunted by annoying spirits here and there...I suspect this may be due to my ability granted by my god to bring the recent dead back to life if the spirit is willing. I know Miuo for some odd reason kept a log book of this but I see no need to do so. If the spirit is in need and I am able to then I see it as the will of my god...but it is most taxing. I am really looking forward to maybe taking up my scholar life again one day...as boring as it may be at least it is safer...

armybrat69 · « **Reply #16 on:** August 10, 2012, 05:54:06 AM »

It is with great sadness I must admit my favorite reading material has failed to capture the truth of what really lies in the the sewers of the Port. Over the past few weeks I have traveled there with Blade and Atlantia as they did their bounty hunting and besides the criminals, caliban and rats I saw the true monsters that the urbans myths talk about in the Barovian Enquirer. I read of how alligators can be found in sewers quite often but this is false! False I say! I found crocodilles, large ones at that... The ancient dire one was almost the end for Blade that day..but luck and speed were our allies and the beast was slain. I imagine the waste and sewage that is dumped below may be part of the reason to their immense size...ugh regardless I am done with the sewers and such. Spring is here and that means it is time for me to continue my research into Botany and Herbalism. While I am back at the outskirts for a few weeks I will resume my work as I have done before. Vorlock activity has increased with the nicer weather (I imagine they are taking advantage of everyone spending more time outside) So it may bit hurt to keep tabs on the temples.

Well at least the crocodiles did not go to waste. My good friend the crafter is making many boots and also one small commission from me. Since I lack such fine apparel for the Port she will be making me a lovely bag that I may carry my books and other writing materials in. Oh I cannot wait to see the expressions as I will surely once again offend the fine nobles!

armybrat69 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 11, 2012, 04:34:53 AM »

Ok once again this land never fails to amaze me....my Mentor whom I assumed only liked women romantically has found a male for a current mate. As for her choice I will not fault her she has fine taste it seems. I am still without a mate...seems this spring will bea loney lone but it matters little my studies have progressed far...

I am done with the outskirts the people are insane form outlander to garda... I have heard what they find amusing...the suffering of a soul no matter how corrupt is revolting...and as for people who willingly run to monsters to hold a conversation with them ...well after today I would merely say they are insane too... But now I must question the definition of a true monster. I see such supposed ones stand beside us and fight to the last...and the "good guys" show more violence than these savages...or so they are called.

Hmm...I am tired...my plans today have not gone as I would have liked but regardless those I care for are alive and well including myself. I have now relocated to the Mist camp for the remainder of spring...afterwards I will wait and see I may move back to the village to assist in aiding the poor. Many things are happening which may be beyond my control....but that is the way of life... My mother once used to sing a small rhyme to me as a child about life...somehow it seems fitting now:

"Needles ans scissors, scissors and pins. Where one life ends another begins"

Hmm...another odd thought to keep me up...I know not too much on Neuri...
Some are born cursed...and msot are infected by another which makes me wonder : Are natural born Neuri born with any traits of a wolf? Gods what if I ever have a child here born with a tail...
I msut sleep now...time to drink a nice sleep aid too I will need it to keep the horrified screams I heard today from my dreams...

armybrat69 · « **Reply #18 on:** August 17, 2012, 03:38:53 AM »

I hate the desert. There is no other way to say it, I really hate that giant sandbox and ungodly hot deathtrap of misery. Not only did I almost end up as some slave to some disgusting desert creep before but it is corrupting all I know around me...the only one unphased is Sudhri naturally...but that girl is happy so long as she is chasing some poor monster or creature with a pair of plyers or a skinning knife in hand. Despite her rather odd nature she is most gifted I cannot deny that.

Blade is the one most affected by the sands...she doesn't seem to tire like the rest of us, and actually seems sort of happy to wander at night searching for those rare plants that make a miraculous type of potion. Rabbit at least no longer looks like some miniature lizard at least...where he is now I can only imagine it involves something shiny. Even the Vicar...she speaks oddly so unlike the other Morninglordians...vengeance?! When has a priest or priestess in pink sought after such a notion? I suspect she may have been interested in what that Garland character was saying perhaps. Was a good thing Blade is not welcome in that small village if she heard the man was wanted she would most likely be after him for a bounty...so this I will not speak of to her hehe...let her try and earn coin some other way.

I have only confided to Blade and Izabella about my experience there...I fear if others (cough Atlantia) heard they would rush to avenge me even though I am quite fine physically and it is thanks to the Grey wizard Ana I am free. The rumors I hear of her I am sure have as much validity as most of the stories I read in my Barovian Enquirer. She speaks in quiet whispers to her comrades, I hope they are able to keep her safe. I would offer but ..well what would I be able to do was almost unable to get away form my last dilemma myself. I lack truely great combat prowess which reflects on my previous occupation as a scholar. I am quite skilled with a crossbow now however I am still quite frail compared to some of the things we often go after.

I do enjoy our ventures however, even several years from now if I am still alive and doing something safer it will not compare to what we do now. I complain a lot to Blade...but someone has to be the voice of reason here...and I dont see it being Sudhri.

Our best discovery yet is another deposit of silver ore. Sudhri is now working hard at her craft to make even finer arrows than she does now. I think this may be where one other particular smith get his stock....

But the bears...so many bears! I think the bears outnumber all the outlanders currently running around the outskirts and Port combined. I hate bears too...almost as much as that giant sandbox of hell and misery... Why can't more druids just befriend nice animals like mink...yes nice harmless mink...screw bears!

armybrat69 · « **Reply #19 on:** August 26, 2012, 11:18:25 AM »

I have now witnessed some of the most darkest of powers comprehensible within this realm...what scares me more is it is power I contain myself...

I hear the words of my father and one of my closest friends echo through my mind as this night passes slowly to day.

"Ahh daughter, you are finally learning there is more than just your simple blessings you give."

I see him nodding approvingly at me, however this scares me...why?

armybrat69 · « **Reply #20 on:** August 26, 2012, 11:32:07 AM »

How far should I go? I say I follow a certain set of rules...but most I admit I follow my instincts more than not. My intuition and gut reaction are often on mark but logically...well logically I seem to be in the midst of the monsters that most fear, loathe, and just simply kill everyday with only thoughts of survival or sometimes victory as the motivators. Do I regret my own actions looking back on the last few weeks, no...I did what I felt was right...as well as needed for my own survival.

Do I hunt now? Yes...but I seek more than just an end to something...I seek to know the cause that led to something. To know the cause I believe is the most vital part since this will possibly allow us to rectify the situation or at a minimum to prevent further cases from erupting. I cannot save all...but I will not stop from trying to help even just one soul, is this not the main reason I am with the Morninglords?

There are other groups that do what do...I'm sure of it. I will continue to keep my contacts however should this journal be viewed by others my secrets will not be betrayed....I am being watched...both as I write and as I often do my travels and duties.

Blade is also involved in something...she sadly thinks not telling me all the details keeps me out of the loop. If she only knew half the crap I am involved in I would be dragged by my hair out of Vallaki for good.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #21 on:** August 27, 2012, 05:03:29 AM »

Once again I stand by previous statements...the desert and I are not meant for each other. I will not even go on about the misadventures of my companions into that dusty den of vipers and spellcasting bones that should be in the damned ground. We vanquished many of these vile things while Sudhri dragged us to her destination of finding some different creature to make gods knows what from. Just earlier today I had to keep her from trying to skin some dead tiefling that was left in our temple.....No more boots...or belts..or handbags...ugh the thought is really revolting.

I am surrounded by madmen and women, half of them are friends the rest...um I am not sure but they seem to flock to me both in the living and in death...apparently my priestly abilities give me a special compass to find bodies... or that is what I am starting to think anyways. Anyways out of pure amusement I will be compiling a list of traits needed to qualify as my friend. But that is for later. As of right now I am being stalked. Its the short one...he watches me...what do I do...

Or maybe its something else...gods I dont know anymore. I was asked to do something within my talents to do but not something I feel Ishould do. When the so called monsters tell me to not let the corruption get me...I listen...

I follow my heart first, laws of the land second...well I am in no need of being on the gallows so I am sure they are there for good measure. As for current events this will take much meditation to consider. Blade is not good at convincing me on everything.

Last rant for tonight before I commence my meditations I really wish I had spent more of my youth practicing with a sword rather than in the books. If only I could view some situations as simply as the others do...

armybrat69 · « **Reply #22 on:** August 31, 2012, 12:39:27 AM »

They still follow me, for what reasons merely have speculations. To say more is to be foolish. However I know of one for sure, he so far means me no harm so I will tolerate his observations for now. I don't like to call attention to myself. But sadly if I continue my path this will not be possible.

I mumble on again. I tire of the hunting and all but the others give me access to not only test the power of my blessings but I am able to go places I otherwise would not dare to on my own. Winter is here now which means I must continue my studies. Atlantia seems most preoccupied as of late so this winter I will reside at the village. I need to assist more with the temple I will complete my final reports for Izabella and await any help she wishes for.

My physical strength has never been strong but it is most pathetic especially compared to some others. Maybe this winter I will also include more physical conditioning along with my studies. Despite the dark nature of Blade these days she is still loyal and will be by my side.

....John..he asked me of my old friend and worst enemy....she is long dead but I don't know how permanent since she had knowledge that HE would most likely want. John was still wise to ask, it may be the key to his ultimate survival.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #23 on:** September 09, 2012, 09:07:24 PM »

I still try and understand what defines good and evil. Both opposing ideas will always be in existence and will always be in conflict with one another. I once walked down the path that was considered between both these ideas neither good nor bad but now...well my heart goes out for those in need. I feel my energies devoted to the temple a good thing. But still...what makes me say inside I should or should not do something? The Morninglord temple is sacred ground, yet how does one come back as a zombie inside a temple dedicated to fighting such things? The last man I aided that came back in this condition later on led me to the vrolock after deceiving me. He has yet to answer for these actions. This left a noticeable change in my perspective on who I should bring back. This still has not changed, once again just last night the body of a man is brought back in and is raised by Mother Liz only to stand up as the walking dead. He was quickly slain and they looked to me to do a resurrection. I refused. I know I lost some respect from some people for this decision but I stand by my choice. Maybe I need to reconsider just how deep the corruption in this land extends. The temple is directly over a crypt...

There has been unusual activity in it, perhaps it is related. On another note I am learning more of what others practice dark arts can do....these dark mages seem to hold a really nasty advantage over us...to control a vrolock...i wont linger on this .

He has finally after all this time finally said he likes me! And I thought..well I thought I am only a pretty face at most to some...I hope I can be more than just the mere healer I currently seem to be.

armybrat69 · « **Reply #24 on:** September 10, 2012, 01:30:57 AM »

I have found myself in many a dangerous circumstance before but nothing could have truly readied me for this latest encounter. Legends speak of the ice hag up in the northern mountains whom is always cold and seeks warmth from her victims leaving them as lifeless frozen bodies. The frail one whom oddly enough is of my own homeland was in the temple during the initial assault of vallaki when winter wolves, her very hounds came down and assualted many of us. We took refuge in the temple despite them trying to enter in. It seemed the usual creatures below in the crypts were replaced with those I have only seen up north. Silk went below with others and told me of his observations, after this we went up to the very castle to see why this was happening. Sadly we could not gather more insight, the final room was a fight for survival, but I can say we have all learned from this.

Cornered...I have been cornered much too often these days leaving me with little option but to fight. Both today and some previous encounters. I felt cornered when tricked to meet with Scurvy. He may not like it but I am a priestess, my power is my faith and I weld the symbol of such when needed. We exchanged words, he spoke of what he wanted from me, which is no small thing. He had also blocked the only doorway for me to exit. I had felt cornered, once again. Fortunately for this scenario no battle was needed, only words. She is in over her head I feel, hells so am I. However his words gave me new insight and what was said will be taken into serious consideration. Despite what Scurvy is I don't see him as truely evil but another victim of those that use him. Can he be helped? I do not know, but I will do what I can.

I lack a true family here, my father and brother both taken by this very land. My mother whom is possibly the only intelligent one of the family will remain home probably in her scrolls wondering.

He keeps making comments to me, I lack the insight to know if he is serious or not. I find it rare to see one on the same level as me and surely he is, but merely in his magic. He does not hide what he is now, not really. He shows it more in his knowledge rather than spell selection. Why I am compelled to help is beyond me, but help iwill try.

And yes despite the weather and the fact i came down the mountain with icicles in my hair, the cold is still more favorable to me than that blasted sandbox of hell and sunburns.

And if that moronic elf tries to give me another teddy bear let alone summon a bear in my room again I will seek out a laxative for the soup that he enjoys eating so much...