A Witch Born

[Miuo]

(This page has a spell for a ritual scrawled across the pages)


Callings
Air: Come all spirits of air and mind,
Knowledge gain and memory bind,
Come rookery and song bird in flight,
Fresh spring breeze and dawn's first light,
Come wind whipping 'round tree and tower,
Please bless this circle with your power.

Fire: Come all spirits of flame and fire,
Blood of life, heat of pyre,
Soft candlelight and bright bonfire blaze,
Come summer sun, wild untamed flower,
Please bless this circle with your power.

Water: Come all spirits of water and ocean,
Mother's womb and tide of emotion,
Come playful waves and fish, lake deep,
Silvery moon and dreams in sleep,
Come twilight mist and Spring shower,
Please bless this circle with your power.

Earth: Come all spirits of the growing earth,
Sacred mysteries of death and birth,
Come lumbering bear and antlered stag,
Hidden cavern and mountain crag,
Come furrowed fields and verdant bower,
Please bless this circle with your power.
 
Spirit: Come all spirits of the turning wheel,
Elements balance and circle seal,
Around and about, through in and though out,
Change within manifest without,
Beyond place and beyond hour,
Please bless this circle with your power.

Dismissals
Spirit: Clear the temple, undo the ward,
The veil closed and reality restored.
Thank you all spirits of balance and light
For blessing this circle and sacred rite.

Earth: Wild beasts return to rest and feed,
Majestic forests shrink to seed.
Thank you all spirits of earth and night
For blessing this circle and sacred rite.

Water: Dreamer awake, turn ocean tide,
Untamed emotions ease and subside.
Thank you all spirits of water and insight
For blessing this circle and sacred rite.

Fire: Flickering flame fade back to spark,
Blazing bonfire return to dark.
Thank you all spirits of fire and might
For blessing this circle and sacred rite.

Air: Wild winds ebb to gentle breeze,
Mysteries revealed become mental tease.
Thank you all spirits of air and flight
For blessing this circle and sacred rite.

[Miuo]

(The page is filled with writings that deal with her studies)

Despite some common belief that hags are born with her powers and knowledge imbued deep with in her as like a Butterflies ability to fly once it leaves its cocoon is untrue. A Hag has no knowledge of the powers she truly posses. Hag’s must be taught such skills, or accidentally stumble upon them. Some abilities are far easier to notice, such as enhanced senses and increased strength. But the ability to weave illusions is something that is far less easy to stumble upon.  The Hags stage of like from where she sheds her human form is best described as a second “puberty”

Hags that are entering and going through the change are invariably sought out by other Older Hags who have mastered  most or all of there abilities. Through means that are not clearly understood by Hags them selves they can “sense” when of their own is undergoing the change. They find and “tutor” their “Sister” in the use of the initial powers that result from the change. The primary among these being an ability that allows a Hag to cloak herself in the illusion of her former attractive self. As well as tell her of powers that will come to her as she matures.

The “tutor” educate the changing Hag in the proper way to conduct her new life. Working to heighten the sense that she is no longer apart of Humanity and that she should hate the rest of the world for it. Hags are taught by their “tutors” the basics of a language that Hags use to communicate among themselves.

The Hag’s Ability to “Cloak” her self is somewhat unreliable as a Hag never knows how long the spell will last at a given time.

Annis Hag: After the change they continue to be the fiercest of the Hags when it comes to combat. Despite the fact many Annis might well be Swordsmen of legendary stature before the change, after the change they abandon all weapons. Developing a perverse love for the feeling of flesh and tendons being ripped apart by their taloned fingers. Wanting to be as close to their victims as possible so as to more fully enjoy the smell of free-flowing blood on their enhanced senses. A Annis’s skin hardens during the change, making her shockingly difficult to injure with weapons, enchanted or not. The hardening continues with age, growing darker as well. It is best to judge a Annis hang by the darkness of her skin, the darker the tone the more tougher she is likely to be. Annis are also resistant to offensive magical spells.

Note: Reframe from melee attacks.

Green Hag: Clever manipulators who act in both subtle and overt ways to spread strife and chaos. They cloak themselves in illusion for as long as possible, as they manipulate their enemies into achieving the goals that the Hag wished to reach all along, or into destroying each other. Although they do obtain the strength or height of her “sister” the Annis Hag, their slender frames are misleading, they posses great strengths that seems hardly contained with in there misleading bodies. Their skin becomes course and tough like that of a Oak tree, though again not as strong as her “sister” Annis Hags hide, the Green Hag and easily withstand blows that would pierce or shatter the bones of a normal man. Her senses all heighten to the point where it is nearly impossible to catch a Green Hag by surprise.

Note: Reframe from offensive magic.

Sea Hag: Though they massive amounts of strength, they remain quite frail as they were before the change, developing no natural Armor or weaponry. Instead they must rely on their intellects and dedicate themselves to becoming experts with weapons. The relative physical weakness of Sea Hags makes them perhaps the easiest to face in melee combat. However, they are exceedingly difficult to approach. Their true visages are so hideous that they may literally paralyze a person with fright, and perhaps even cause a onlooker to die. Further, there is no getting use to the true appearances of a Sea Hag, even if one manages to survive a encounter with one/ Each one seems to be more hideous than the one that came before it. Sea Hags posses other defences too. Even more potent then their hideous appearances is their ability to shrug of most spells that might be cast upon them. Their ability to remain unaffected by magic rivals that of a elder Annis Hag, they as well posses the ability to breath under water making it incredibly hard to defeat a Sea Hag, since if she may feel she is poised against a stronger foe she can flea to the bottom of the ocean and send her minions to attack, or strike out using magic

Note: Melee attacks most effective.

[Miuo]

It is time i wrote of the events that transpired that still haunt my dreams, i can not begin to describe it as it should be told. I can only compare it to being similar to being fed on by a Vampire, that pain is made into exotic pleasures. My own kindness has lead to such, perhaps it a test by Hala her self to see if i would waver from my faith. I know not where else to start then to start it where i met the man who betrayed me.

I met Doctor Alan Kingscrest as i stepped out of the Inn, we both headed towards the temple. Making small talk as we got to know each other better. His kindness a shroud to the darkness that swirls with in him. Things are still hard to remember, but i remember him. He had six fingers to a hand, he had large puffy red'ish eyes, as if he had spent the entire night researching old tomes. As well as a graying mustache, he was a older man.

He walked with me to the Lodge to sit with me as i brewed potions and furthered my studies, he left shortly after to tend to his own business. Latter on i had run into him, he had three others, a Elven male who called him self "Sentinel" a member of the Eternal Order, and the "Twins" i know little of them other then that. Iv seen them about on occasion. The Doctor asked me to travel with them i agreed since i was in need of Dyes from the Port.

We eventually arrived to our destination, i should of took their use of Necromancy as a warning perhaps. . .We came to a Skeleton cave. I remember little of what happened there before i fell, waking to being tied to a tree with them surrounding me. Robbing me of a good amount of Fang and my entire supple of herbs.

Things become blurry and incoherent. . .i remember them giving me something, that turned the pain they were to inflict upon me to pleasure. I remember the sensation of them cutting my eyelids away to force me to watch, the feel of them tearing clumps of hair out at will, and the feel of my open wounds being cauterized. It is hard to describe, i can only compare it to the same feeling as when Morticia fed upon me.

I do not remember anything from the point they finally left me for dead and waking to the healing's of a Elderly Vistani women using her powers of the weave to right the wrong done to me.  It has taken everything with in me to force my self from falling back into such a catatonic state. I am so tired, forcing my self to "live", to face that which terrified me. I am lucky to of been found as i had, those around me knowing something is not as it should be. My sisters and Penelope anchor me to this here and now, not the past or memories of the past. I plan to inform Jadow, Louis and possibly another.

I will not let them force me to be a Victim, i will fight, i will not let another fall into their clutches if i can prevent it. I pray to Hala to do unto them as they have done to others threefold. They sway the balance and corrupt the weave, swift punishment will be delivered soon.

[Miuo]

Things grow easier to endure as time passes, still the horrors plague my mind in times of respite. Still, things better each waking moment as i set into familiar pattern. I find my self still fighting fear it self, but i refuse to be a victim. Such events have brought. . things that have filled my mind and drowned that which caused me fear. Such as Louis kissing. .He says he does not love me, but cherishes me. . i am shocked and confused by his actions. His touch, and his lips were gentle and kind. . something iv not felt before from him. His words perhaps but never his touch like this. .  I can only wonder what Lull is thinkings, she was in the room as well. Remaining unseen to us.

Iv warned Dez of what has happened and asked her to be weary as well. I hate retelling the story repeatedly. . .but most seem to not take my word without cause to. . .I must admit though. . .the more i tell it and recall it, the easier it becomes to bare. Soon, i believe it will be only just another horror iv come to live through that has made me stronger. I refuse to let their touch taint me. I will request Jadow hunt them down with little mercy and reclaim what they have taken from me. I must consult what i know of Hala to see what is allowed of me.

The ritual has failed. . .i must work harder on it. . .the elements i chose to cast the circle were not strong enough. Perhaps what i tried to do with the circle was the problem. I have created such to aid a Halanite in creating there items to more easily connect them selves with the Weave. Perhaps that is where i should test it. I find my self wishing i have never temped such so early, i had told the ones there watching i had used it to summon something, but such was only to keep their eyes busy.

I had tried to strip the mark of the Vistani women away, in time i will see if such has worked. For the time being iv been to the Port to cover it. Iv not told anyone of her marking me, nor i have reason to. It will be removed. None shall mark me nor claim me other then Hala.

[Miuo]

Their voices taunt me as the darkness envelops me, they try to claim hold over me. I refuse to let them do so. Iv found bits of flesh similar to me own left at the Vistani camp. Did they know i would be there? Or perhaps tossing what no longer amused them so. I grow paranoid. . .perhaps i need more to busy my mind. Iv found fliers that there will be another ball, i am excited and thrilled. I think i will design a new gown to wear. I wonder who will attend. I'v warned Enric now as well, iv still yet to find Jadow. I find things grow easier each day to bare, so much has happened in so little time. I fear even going to see Penelope or Elenor in case i am being watched or followed by them. I'v told them to go to the Port, and stay there till i say other wise.

I sent with them much of what i have saved, they should be fine for a long while, things seem so flawed now. . .for the briefest of moments i was truly happy and worried of little. Now i fear my own shadow, not of harm to my self, but that harm they may do to others. Iv warned Elenore as well, the Druid who has come here recently to avoid the twins and the others. I further my research when i am able, but mostly i find my self to worn to do such at the moment. Much of my days are spent sitting by the window's watching the rain pelt the glass distorting that which is beyond it.

Is it selfish to say i grow lonely, even with my daughter? My friends increase in numbers, but the ties to each seem so weak. I feel so alone here, i watch other couples with painful envy and desire for what they have. Perhaps there is not one here for me. With the blessings iv been given, i should be content enough not to selfishly desire more. I should abandon such thoughts and focus with what I have been given. My power to aid the ill and hurt, and my skills in herbalism. As well as do all that i can to make sure my daughter knows she is loved beyond any doubt. It is almost time Martyn conduct his first examination of her. I hope all should go over well, this will be the first time he has seen her so freely with out I being so guarded.

[Miuo]

Things have not gone as i have planned, Jadow still seeks to claim Louis's life. Now Louis is upset with me as well. I'v only sought to end this all, instead iv perhaps caused more harm then good. The "Twins" attacked the temple, trying to toy with us. . i refuse to let them do so with me or any other if i can prevent such. Iv met a fascinating man, one i would not dream of finding in these lands, a half-drow. He is like no other iv come to know, kind and gentle. .though modest. I'v never craved the touch of another so deeply, nor craved to reach out and touch them as well. He has asked for me to join him in going to the Ball, iv offered to make his suit.

So difficult it was to take his measurements and resist touching him more then was needed. I look forward to seeing him again, i am filled with excitement and a racing heart. I am no longer filled with sadness and despair. He is so hard on him self, when he revealed him self to me i found my self dazed by his appearance. I find my self blushing even now as i recall it, i can not begin to describe it in words that would make sense. I look forward to the Ball, little can dampen my spirit at this moment.

(The writing seems to be more whimsical and artistic as if she put emotion and care into writing each word)

[Miuo]

I am utterly lost for words. . .Enric has kissed me. I did not think he felt such for me, he has asked to take me to dinner so we may talk more. I know such posses great risk for him. . He first asked me to be with him. . .i told him it was to soon for me to do such. . .I am conflicted now with Ross and Enric. . i know not what i should do other then give them both time till i know each of them better, and can choose based on such. . .i do not know if i should tell them of each other or not.

So odd how things seem to rapidly change and continue to change. Perhaps this is nothing but another glimpse at happiness that will be snatched away to further my suffering. So many thoughts swirl around endlessly in my mind, seeming endless in their direction or importance. I sit here gazing out the window again watching the all to familiar scene of heavy rain and the fishermen going about their tasks that come no matter what the weather presents.

So nice it must be to live such a simple life, no worries of being caught and burned, tortured, or fear for your daughters life. Still, i would not give up the life that is mine. TO much of it is precious to me. Despite the bad that comes with it.

(The bottom of the page holds a curvy elegant rose drawn in what seems boredom. Though it is not a master piece it is pretty and interesting to look at)

[Miuo]

Iv been approached my a Elven man, asking if i was a Halanite. He seems to think some recent events are possibly related to a Hag. This is what iv come to know, that a group of men followed a blood trail near the Village of Barovia which lead them to a cave in some ruins filled with corpses piled about. The culprit they named "The Butcher" has been tended to and seems to be the only cause of all the corpses. I am told that two pages have been found, i'v been given one. The other i am told is with one named "Ric", the elven man claims that it is a "Annis Hag". I know well enough to not assume anything when dealing witch such, specially so if i wish to live. Research will be done to determine such. Seaori has thoughts of having her deformities removed. . .such is possible and i can see why she would wish to do so. .but the thought of her having parts of her self removed to fit in better seems so horrific. . but should she ask i will do so for her. I think she aims to have her wings and horns removed. .i'v begun to look into such and see how i may do such. Though there is no official information on such i am stuck with trying to use information that pertains to such on animals.

(The note is stuck between the pages and is as reads)
    
"She calls herself The drowned Lady. And she promised me endless coin! Whom could withstand such an offer? Tomorrow i shall visit her again in the swamps near Barovia"              

[Miuo]

Enric and I spent the entire night together, alone at the Lodge. Even now as i recall the events i blush at the thought of seeing each scar and mark across his body. So many wounds. . . He is the first to see the single tattoo i have. We are each others first, he teases me that i'v let loose some lust driven beast. When i am with him, all the problems i face seem so distant and unimportant at that brief moment.

He has asked me to join him in going to the ball, i grow more excited each day. But fear slowly comes over mer as i worry if this will lead to only heart break and suffering as well. Time will tell, but as for now what i see and know shows me he is kind strong man.

[Miuo]

Much has happened to night, the room seems to reverberate with my squeals of excitement and joy. Enric has asked for my hand in marriage, iv answered yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! I am overcome with utter joy and pleasure that i can barely sit still for more then a breaths time. Even tonights downfalls are unable to break my spirit.

Seaori was met with hostility at the Ball and was forced to leave, i my self was confronted with hostility at the Ball. Enric was upset that i did not let him defend me. I blush now thinking of how protective he is. We spent the entire time in the Port, we went to a few places, i found a beautiful wedding gown in the Port for close to five hundred fang. I will likely alter it my self, i suppose i need to find out what kind of ceremony he wishes to have as well. . . We had dinner together, we spent most the time playing footsies under the table. It quickly ended when i proceeded to show him my more playful side and he wished to leave as quickly as possible.

I almost ache for his touch again, i wish we had not parted so soon tonight. He is far to much a gentleman to allow him self to so easily be overcome with lust. Perhaps i will put more effort into make something to wear that he will not be able to resist.

I hope Seaori is well, she seemed better towards the end of the night and even decided to host her own ball since she was refused entry. I hope her and the man shes been swooning over have a chance. From what i can tell she seems to of retreated from the idea of having her abnormalities removed. I am overjoyed at this, she is beautiful and wondrous as she is. There is no need for her to hack her self apart to please others, if such should be done it should be because she wishes for it to be done to make her self happy.

[Miuo]

I'v met with a Woman from the Elven Settlement about aiding me in creating the crystals. I am so close yet still far from completing such. She has given me the task of gathering specific items for each crystal. So far iv acquired four of what i need. Enric is trying to aid me in the last and most hard. A Bodaks tooth.

Earth- Gargoyle Skull
Water- Pound of Sea Salt
Fire- Fire Beetle Remains
Air- Griffon Feather
Spirit- Bodaks Tooth

(The last material is striked out as she adds to the entry)

Iv acquired all i require, now i must take them to the Elven women so she may create the crystals.

[Miuo]

I am filled with sadness and disgust with my self. . my actions have left me and my two friends cursed. The ritual went fine, till the connection began to deteriorate my body. .once i grew to weak to sustain the connection we were all over come with a wave of free flowing magic contained with in the sealed circle. . .i was only just able to close the circle when we found our selves in our currant state. . .

They say they do not blame me, but how can they not? Iv ruined there lives, iv ruined any chance at normality for us. . .Enric has not yet seen me, i am sure he will be furious. . .With each passing day our story is told again, soon we will be sought out. . They speak freely of me being a witch do they not understand what harm this will do? I do not think they understand that this being so widely know will result in those of a lesser nature knowing as well. I fear soon we will be hunted, things are hard as is to try and deal with i do not wish to be looking over my shoulder every moment of my time here now.

So many thoughts pass through my mind and circle round and round again, one thing after another happens and i am left in turmoil once more. A women has approached me about being a Halanite. This has improved my self loathing and depression some. . In truth though. . .some times i see this accident as a possible blessing, my skills are far better then they were. My pace has quickened as well as my efficiency, perhaps this is not a curse from forcing my way into where i did not belong, but a gift for trying to better understand the weave?

I do not truly know, but i know that iv been told there is little hope for it to be reversed. . .and to spend my time fighting this. . ."new" me is a waste of time and effort, my time is better spent adapting. As we speak iv been working on a spell to manipulate the size of non living things, iv had some success with only small items though. I will continue some effort into adapting.

I must be careful now, for those who do not know me i will no longer speak of the ritual. There is far to much untaped power behind it, should my works ever fall into the hands of summon of a lesser nature it could be used for untold horrors. I will do wheat i can to destroy what knowledge is not needed.

[Miuo]

I wish for things to be just fixed. . .Enric is having problems accepting that this is to be me. He's told me Barovians couple for life, he is afraid to hurt me. Can he not see i'm not made of glass? Iv braved the wolves den alone, traveled with others to the Barovia Caves filled undead, iv single handily cleansed the first and second level of the Morning Lord crypts. I just wish him to care little of how i look, and just love me as i am. He has begun to talk about tempting to try the ritual so he may become more like me. . Does he not understand the risks this posses? Neither of us should temple doing such, the outcome is unknown. For all we both know it could rip him apart. . .

Jadow and i spent time together, the first in a long while, things were awkward between us a little when we tried to talk. . But things perhaps have come to the point where we can talk without wanting to yell and scream. Thing seem unsettled still awkward most the time in my daily life, still so many ask questions. . i try to be as with holding as possible. . .Tyln has tried to share lewd ideas with me of how me and Enric may continue to be "intimate". . Many continue to try and offer aid in trying to help me and the others find a way to fix whats happened. .

They seem to think I am incompetent in doing so, iv done the research, iv talked to the Elven Mage, iv tried. There is nothing that can be done to fix this, unless the ritual is repeated, but even then there is no guarantee in that we will be fixed, most likely death awakes us. . . .

[Miuo]

How odd things have become. . Enric no longer wishes to be with me. Iv had to relinquish my hold of Penelope. . she will continue to live with Elenore in the Port. . .So much saddness weighs on me. . Iv been refused haven in the Morninglords Temple, and forced to seek shelter else where less i find my self at the mercy of a cruel creature once more. There is little place for us, many we once though loved ones, friends or places of sanctuary have turned their backs upon us.

Perhaps this land is truly lost to the darkness, so many hearts so easily swayed. . Iv become ashamed of my self, so much has piled up and caused me to lash out. . .iv attacked two people and tried to have another drink a potion that would render him completely still. Though my better judgment of such forced me to tell him the truth. . even if he was a silver tongued pig of a man.

Miranda has spoken in length with me of my doings, she has told me that my actions, despite having the best of intentions could of labeled me "Black", she has sanctioned me with remaining at the Orphanage to relearn the ways of Hala. Shes told me that indeed the "Drowned Lady" is real and most powerful at that, she thinks her to possible be a Green Hag, however has told me of one hag named Brujah who has turned her back to her evil ways and is a good hag? Is this even truly possible or has she simply fooled many into believing such. . .? Miranda one day hope to call be a "Hallowed" witch, one who has devoted their efforts to Hala time and time again. Shes warned me to be weary of Jo as well, she is Militia and posses great threat.

[Miuo]

Iv been approached by two men both seeking aid in there own studies, one wishing to learn more of the Weave, the other wishing to become more versed in reading. Things have come to a somewhat calm, still many seek to try and "aid" us or offer there help. Iv had thoughts of possibly writing my tale into a book so it may serve as a warning onto others. Iv been told of strange happenings that are related to Seaori, one iv come to call Sister. It seems a foul being has stolen her image and begun to cause chaos and havoc on her life.

Despite my efforts i am still over come with sadness of all iv had to give up. . .I miss Penelope so much it hurts. . .coupled with the loss of Enric leaves me at a loss. . .Perhaps this is where i belong, left undistracted by love or personal emotions. Only to serve others, such does not seem so different from my previous life before here. Perhaps i was groomed for this fate.

So many wish to help me, but so few listen to me. . .they make the same foolish choices i made once that they can do as they wish. I fear they will be punished for trying to force such to be undone. . .Why do none listen to me any longer? Have i lost my voice of reason as well? Is my voice to small to be listened to? Or do they become so blind from the act of heroism that they do not see the dark path they are traveling down. Perhaps it is time i burn the rest of my research. . .and warn the Seelie Court of such. Beg them to refuse doing such for any other, i do not wish for any other to fall astray because of my own mistakes.

Now i will be the only one to possess the knowledge to do such. Even the Seelie Mage does not know all of the ritual. I pray that this will rest with me, and no other should be foolish enough to try and tasks them selves with this.

[Miuo]

(The following entry seems to be done in a script like manner, as if they were pages from a book)

Once upon a time a women with pure thoughts and intentions set out to create a ritual to allow her to see deeper into the Weave, as well as allow her to not suffer the effects of holding a ritual on her own. But she alone could not do such. She set out to find one powerful enough to help her.

She came to a Mage of great power, there she asked for the mage to help her craft five crystals each tied to a element. Air, Water, Fire, Earth and Spirit. The Mage warned the young Witch that such powerful magic would be dangerous, that it had untold effects upon the user.

The young Witch so filled with good intentions did not weigh the wise Mage’s words as she should of. Instead said she understood, but she was not able to see the wrong in her actions.

As the Mage crafted the crystals, two friends that had accompanied the young Witch , became dazzled with the creation of the Crystals and sought to follow her into doing the ritual.

As the Crystals were finished the young Witch thanked the Mage and set off to a place that held some power. There she placed the crystals out accordingly. She created a circle, blessing it before she called each element to the circle to empower it.

As she called each element she felt the power of the circle grow and grow till the last element was called. She could feel the power pulse as she wielded it, before her hold of the power began to falter.

Soon the power began to pull at the very threads of her being. Soon her body began to deteriorate till she lost hold of the connection, as she did the raw power began to ravage her body.

In horror her friends broke into the circle to try and save her only to befall the same fate as she, having their bodies ravaged by the power.

The young witch gathered the strength she had left to dismiss the elements and close the circle. Leaving them all marked by her foolish actions. Forced to forever remember her actions. However when one door is closed a window is often opened.

As the young witch tried to pick up the pieces of her life she came to know who were her true friends, who truly loved her and who did not.

Leaving her with the thoughts of her mark being both a blessing, as well as a curse.

[Miuo]

I find my self so conflicted, is it wrong another should make my heart flutter and yearn for attention so soon? How can i begin to enjoy another so soon, and so much? Do i even know what love truly is? I seem to think i find it so often and then it is not? I loved Keln, i loved Jadow, i loved Enric, i had begun to fall for those few who took interest in me. Perhaps there is something wrong with me? This can not be true can it? Can one find a love so soon after loosing one they thought they loved? I am conflicted. . .I loved Enric. . .but he so coldly cast me aside because i was a hindrance to him and his culture. . .Krow is different. . .he is so filled with life and positive thinking, He is sweet and kind, and at times goofy.

He makes me laugh even when things seem so dark, he is the only one outside of Seaori and Lem to accept me as i am. Not push me to find a "cure" ir keep looking for a way to change back. His presence is always so refreshing. . his touch is always gentle. . . he surprised me earlier with suddenly giving me a massage. . thought at first it was so awkward, once i calmed it felt nice. . .till he asked of my choker. . i did not dare tell him. . .that life is dead. There is no need to dredge it up and have him pity me. . .

Seaori's heart darkens with each breath, with each day, with each moment that thing that impersonates her is free to walk about. Her affairs are no longer of my concern. . .She is becoming a Black'end witch now. She seeks to recreate the Ritual, she says it is to help us, but that is not all she seeks, she seeks power. She repeatedly referred to the power the ritual could give her. . .I do not know who else she has enlisted by Miranda and few others will be told. . .Perhaps they can do something. . .

I came across Jadow being left cuffed to the Gallows, at first i thought they were going to hang him. . .but it was to be "Corporal Punishment" for the crimes of Theft and Intent to Murder. I watched in horror as they beat him with a spiked club. . .as they left him for dead i rushed to help tend him. . .i got him to the Cottage for warmth and healing, he to cast me aside. . He said my hands to small and that he could do it.

Why do i bother any longer? None listen to me nor care for my council, perhaps this world corrupts the heart. . .so many seem to of become hardened and cruel. . perhaps it not worth it to carry on trying to help any. Perhaps i should go to the Orphanage and remain there to live out my life offering aid best i can there. I am a lost witch in a cruel world, what is to befall me only Hala knows. Perhaps she will eventually take mercy upon me and grant me a lasting joy, one that will not falter, and vanish, or one to sway in judgment.

Perhaps i will find True Loves Kiss, and be set free. (the last line is scrawled in a manor that leaves it to be obvious sarcasm)

[Miuo]

Catch me if you can, seek me if you dare.
Find the little lost witch and gain true sight.
For only the truest of sights can end my blight.

Little lost witch with sights so true, has lost her sister and does not know what to do.
Save her fallen sister and bring her back,
For you will be rewarded with gold by the sack

Little lost witch with sister crass, has forgotten her lover of days long past.
Help mend a heart so broken with finding what was once thought lost,
To unite two lovers once thought crossed.

Little lost witch with sister so twisted,
Has abandoned the love that once existed.
A ritual of lies and deceit draw near,
Soon all will tremble in twisted fear.
A warning is spoken with dread,
For all who help her will soon be dead.  
And in this end all shall see,
The little lost witch who grieves.

[Miuo]

How is it things can be so complex but so so simple as well? I wish so desperately for things to be normal once more, such as last night, a single Imp attacked a badger so i attempted to fight it, but it did nothing. . . i was useless. . .it killed Tesha easily. . .and then mauled me to the ground. . Senies came though and handled it. .Only to have a swarm of other Imps come from the city at us. I had no other choice but to seek haven in the Temple. But before such, i was being questioned once more about my state and found out a bit of information Seaori seemed to spill to another. Those helping her in her ritual must be born of magic.

Lately it seems in my times of waiting for day to become night iv taken to studying and writing poems and other such things. Iv taken to learning possibly another language. Iv told Seaori of my interest in Krow however. . but she is right. Us being together would be impossible. . .at least in a intimate sense. Why is it there are no appealing men even near my size? But always men of a human nature that seem to sway me so?

Sometimes i find my self so saddened when i think of the future and see it so bleak. So many of those i know have such a flicker of a moment of life before it will be gone. I no longer fit any where and have so few true friends. I find my self at time trying to hard to not be so fragile and hurt that i find my self lashing out to try and prove i'm not. . this is not me though. I wish for the simpler days when all i feared was the Garda coming to harass me. . .now i begin to fear what it is i will become. When i think back upon actions and choices i find my self wishing i could change them. . .

I think of never telling anyone what happened. . .letting a few people know i was a Halanite. . .to not take that chance with another. . .to not let people know i am the one writing the poems about. . So many things i wish i could take back and undo. . But i know i can not, nor should I. But i can stop such from happening again. . .and will.

[Miuo]

Things continue to become odd, when in the sewers pondering if i should attend the Vardo's Auction a strange creature crawled from the darkness towards me. Its was quite massive, the creature basically dragged it self across the ground. Its legs were tiny in proportion to its body, its skin was green and scaled. Its mouth large and filled with row upon row of razor like teeth. A strong muscled long tail, Tesha killed it with ease however. I fear i may of acted to rashly. . .i acted hastily in being startled so.

Iv spent almost the entire day and night with Krow once more, he has confessed him self to me. Iv kissed him as well. . i find my self torn between the joys of such and feeling guilty. Enric still waits for me, but he will never accept me as i am. . Vin has confessed his feelings for me as well. . but i do not share such emotions for him. Do i deserve such so soon? Even if i care for him how would things ever work?

Soon i do not think i will be able to deny my self the pleasure he brings me, the way he cares for me. Or the joy i get from mending him as well. He is one of the few to accept me as i am not pressure me to find a way to change my self. Though i still smile remembering that when we first met he thought he had gone mad, and i was a figment of his mind. It amused me trying to convince him i was real.

[Miuo]

Things have suddenly become progressively worse, i know not where i stand with Krow. Some creature tried to lure us into the sewers, we found a large amount of corpses and other dead things. It tried to kill us so we could meet its master. Luckily we all were able to flee quickly and escape it. Cru has told me he found him again, but that he did not attack this time.

Despite my best efforts it seems there are times i'm still unable to control my self as i wish to, iv unleashed my magic in anger or quickly in defense. Krow lead a women to the Seelie Court today, she seems to be a Druid. She seems so angry and bitter inside. I hope she comes to see that there is a better way for her to serve the Balance and be happy as well.

They have found me, the Twins after being able to avoid them for so long they have sent a foul messenger to deliver a warning that i am to distance my self from all those i know or else i will have to pay for such. Krow refuses to accept the warning, he will not change his mind no matter how many times i ask. He has said that he will protect me from them. His strength gives me the strength to brave all this and act much stronger then i am.

I am filled with such fear, i swore to never let them hold power over me. But i worry what they will do to others. How they have found me i do not know, even those i was once close to did not notice who i was at first. I pray to Hala, for her to help watch over me and all those i hold dear.

[Miuo]

It seems the quote "Time mends all wounds" is truly correct, things are for once are calm. Yes there are still imperfections to me bliss, however at this moment they can not even begin to faze me. Much has happened over the past few days, and this is perhaps the longest iv gone without writing. I suppose i should sum up from last i wrote to present.

The last events that i remember standing out clearly from my last entry would be the attempt of two men trying to abduct me. They claimed it was for some sort of "experiments" i begin to wonder if they are in league with the Twins and the other two. Though such seems unlikely. . .they did not seem there to frighten me, they truly seemed to wish to take me. If such is true i fear the nights are far less safe for me, most of what is out there pays me little mind as is. I still remain on Morticia's good side, Werewolves are relatively handled with ease, the one ghoul i had come across payed me little mind after i explained my self and offered a bounty i had collected in exchange for safe passage. Though if such people roam about once more, it is not only i who is in danger. Iv warned Jo of such, as well as told her of the few bounties i saw that had similar listed offences. She has promised to be watchful over such.

News has come to me that Lull is well, and -ALIVE- such joy's news. Though even in such joy i am pained as i am reminded of Penelope, i still miss her so and continue to write to Elenore frequently. . .but it is not the same. I make sure both live well and comfortably, but how does one simply let there child go? I know some would argue she was not really my child. But blood does not determine who is and who is not family. It is love, the same love i have for Seaori and Lull. They are both the closest things i hold to sisters.

Iv professed me love for Krow and he for me. I can not help but wonder if he will shortly be another to scar my heart and leave me in a tide of sorrow as i mend my heart once more. I am sacred i will be hurt once more and be left alone to the darkness that circles me. I feel safe with him, perhaps more so then any other, but it is not his strength or power that makes me feel so. It is his touch and his words that let me know i will be okay. Iv given my self to him and he to me, it was indescribable. . .i can not begin to describe the pleasures he gifted me nor the lust i had for him.

Each moment i spend with him blocks out the horrors of my past, present and future. Such as today, we spent the day swimming in the lake near the Vistani, and on the beach just on the edge of the water. With him i find joy in the simplest of pleasures, a quite day together spent picking herbs and wandering about nature is no longer work, but a pleasure i reveal in. We spent the entire night together once more enjoying each others touch and presence. He has wished me to be forever his, and i have agreed. I truly hope that i may be his, but iv come to know how fragile a mans words can be when he is driven by desire.

A pair of purest elves have seemed to condemn me today, saying i am "dhraow" or some such. I did not listen to him much, since a purest elf will only get them selves killed quickly. They are both unable to see beyond ones physical form, and such will be their undoing. They mock Hala, and say for my actions before i was cursed my a Elven god from my home world and cast away. Their words make me laugh, how some can believe in such purest ideals in amusing. Perhaps my display of affection towards Krow upset them as well.

[Miuo]

[Updates her recipe list for her potions, as she ponders new combinations for new recipes]

[Miuo]

It seems Kala wishes to "share" Krow. . .i could not begin to fathom doing such. Things remain calm and simple, I am on better terms with the one called Squib. Iv taken to answering that i am a River Nymph when asked what i am. Though it likely best i should not continue to do so. All i need is for another to take interest and want to "experiment" on me.

 I am beginning to wonder about how deeply Cru cares for me. . .at times he seems simply friendly at others he seems more. . .lusting? He has repeatedly pledged him self to me. I begin to worry that in time he may a attempt to do something. I am conflicted between telling Krow, but i fear as well that i may be wrong and create a great misunderstanding, which i do not wish to be responsible for. Perhaps it best to leave things and see where they go before i act upon such.

These past few calming days have given me the rest iv required to rise from the despair of these past months of despair and continue my fight in healing those who require it, as well as being able to maintain my emotions when faced with those who seek to sling insults.

[Miuo]

I recently commissioned a dagger to be made that would rival the blade i currently possessed. Though sadly i'm disappointed with the result, the blade is nothing more then a plain dagger with little power to it. The blade i possess is powerful as it is, but once i weave my spells over the blade it becomes even more so. Such is a lesson well learned i suppose. That even magic it self can not truly rival the work of a master smith who possess talents in magic as well. Perhaps i should seek one of such talents and see if they may be able to perhaps melt my blade down into a smaller form without damaging the materials.

My walk back from the Port alone was terrifying and unnerving. . i smelled that scent again. The one of death and decay, i know it all to well. It is the scent of those like that creature who demanded tribute in the sewers. I was able to collect a bit of hide from a boar like creature iv never seen before however. As well as a few little herbs. Perhaps i may sell the blade i commissioned to the Vardo and see what they can offer me for it.

Seems for now i will have to continue using the blade i already own. Iv begun to notice something though. . .the Vardo seem to be a bit unfair. I had once bought a cloak for six thousand fang, i had barely used it before i decided it was not for me. I took it with some other items i wished to sell, in turn i was only given two thousand for the cloak. Perhaps they are not as fair as i once though. The Vistani are the same. . .buy items for a few measly coins then in turn sell said item for a small fortune.

Perhaps i should seek out a more fair trader to begin selling to when i have items of interest. Seems my efforts of avoiding trouble have become slightly tainted with such things. Perhaps i will retreat into the wood once more, things are calm and simple there. Iv recently told Krow of Penelope. . .i feel shammed at not telling him sooner. . . Kala thinks i am endangering Krow and their Circle. . .

Iv faced so many evils and hurt all i wish is for the calm and warmth of his embrace, the only sounds i wish to hear are that of the peaceful forest and his voice. Even now i sit here with his name of my lips, wanting him. . .Can one become addicted to the touch of another? Iv thought i was in love with others, only for them to turn their backs to me as they abandoned me. This feels different though. . . No other knows as much about me as he, my history, my flaws and imperfections, my gifts and inner thoughts. Perhaps iv found the one meant for just me and me alone. I pray to the goddess this to be ever lasting in this world and the next if possible, he is the only other who brings such peace to the inner turmoil with in me other then the Goddess her self.