My thoughts are now divided between them, though i feel no guilt now. I finally have what i have want.
No more secrets. No more lies. I now have the ability to be myself and not worry. She asked me if i wanted him in my bed, why i don't know, she knew the answer already. I am attracted to him, always have been. Which is silly considering the pain i felt at his hands. Past is the past right?
So much has happened in coming to Port. In this room. Too much for me to process, him in my bed with me. Her watching. I stopped him before we started asking him if he really wanted this. He flashed me that grin and said he did. I looked back at her, the fear i felt melted away as she smiled softly and nodded.
Things seemed tense the next time we were all together. He asked to see my sketches. Including the nude i had done of him. I showed him, as he looked at it Tabitha looked over his shoulder. I wonder what she thought at that moment. Was she hurt, was she upset i had asked him to pose nude for me. They kept whispering to each other, And goddess help me i was losing my mind, I kept thinking that there was secrets. He lead her off to the bathroom, I waited a few moments, then yelled that they could come out as i left shutting the door behind me. Then Tabitha came running up behind me, what the hell was she doing? Then he came down behind her, And again they started to whisper. I left again telling Tabitha to let it be. I went to stand and look out over the water.
He came up and touched my shoulder. Asked if i wanted to go have a drink. We went to a cafe. He and I talked about things, his concerns. I simply told him that i am unwilling to give up what i have now. I will not give him up, he is important. I told him why i left. That it was all the whispering that upset me. He explained what was going on.
I hear Emelle... warning me that my heart might grow cold walking this path.