Author Topic: Life and Opinions of Ciaran of Harmonia, a Picaresque Ballad Written by Himself  (Read 30572 times)

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He watched out of the inn where he had been resting after the almost freezing of his body. He felt inspired as he had been many times before, and he started scribbling, giving word to his thoughts and to the cries of his soul.

Chapter XIII. Part V. "Time"

Watching others' youth is seeing time passing,
Not depending on us, it simply moves,
Right now, if you dance, play or sing,
It won't stop, driving hates and loves.
Honesty is just but a single façade,
It's the self who really inspires art:
You can win or lose, with a word or a blade,
Integrity of the self before falling apart.
What is gone cannot be recollected,
As youth and as withered beauty,
If not in memory and poetry settled
Dreams, of the poet a called duty.
What I wish won't be attained by a sword,
But dream and desire might be held by a word.

He re-read, and smiled, and thought about some of his recent meetings, and then he wrote something else, quickly, adding to his ballad.

Chapter XIII. Part VI. "Women"

Ancient land, home of astounding charm,
No one to be won, many who were lost,
Never again is what I paid as a cost,
And a lost soul, an inner pain, with no harm.


Lady in white with mysterious ways,
Antic attitude during nights and days,
Severed soul,
Heart and no goal,
Aim to find again, wherever it lays.

He finally closed his booklet and kept on with his rest, hoping to get again that warmth of the heart winter was compromising.
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Alone in his room at the Blue Water, in a bittersweet mood, he glanced out at the full moon and wrote in a rush.

Chapter XIII. Part VII. "Elves"

Ethereal vision, yet very vivid and real,
Lips on lips, red, smiling, a kiss is just a kiss,
Verge of ecstasy, but an unbroken seal,
As the moon rose, a dessert which was amiss,
Lips on lips, a further meeting, a deal.
I will be waiting for you, drumming my fingertips,
And when the time comes, lips will meet again lips.
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Chapter XIII. Part VIII. "Past"

You say I should forget all my yesterdays,
And thinking I am still here, and alive:
It is not a matter of time or even space,
Living on the edge, not afraid to dive.
In the darkest hour thoughts are darker,
A smile, uncalled, a kiss, tenderly given,
A beam in the eyes, a glimpse of fair,
Can make it bright, heart thus driven.
A common quest, a common goal, for now,
Sweet fruits are harder to find in winter,
Every beauty anyway deserves a humble bow,
I'm still warm, under a layer of cinder.
And when you say I really don't need
to, on your whole self  I manage to feed.
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He seemed having found a new life. A reason. While lost in his thought, anchored to a over-weighty past, she allowed him to feel like flying again, light as a leaf. She had her burdening past too, but she always looked forward, to what it could be and will be, rather than what it -had- been. They were leading not really a quiet life, risks were everywhere to be found, and, as finding again a youngish attitude he had never had in these things, he was happy to follow her in any task, even when it seemed the tasks were his. He started thinking about the tomorrow. She seemed his new tomorrow, a new moon. He seemed to have forgotten all the blood-suckers who were after him, and who with an astounding constance seemed to find him anywhere he went. And the enchanting lady-wolf too.

His new companion clearly attempted to be happy herself hiding her past. He had had some hints of it. It was her approach he liked. He felt he was gradually changing himself. He was happy, and almost scared to be. She knew, but she did everything to set him in good mood. And despite the adversities she was managing quite effectively.

And he wrote more.

Chapter XIII. Part IX.

End can become a new beginning, with the right notes,
Length and rhythm can give a frame, a shape to substance,
Visions of clear lighted skies, and the poet to her devotes,
Art mingled with life, slow or fast, unbalanced constance.
Let our souls to be dragged, and led,
I am yours, are you mine instead?
As the days move on, a new life steps, beautiful instance.
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He was suddenly dragged in his thoughts about the concept of time and its perception. Truths were revealed and they had started playing with most of their cards clearly visible. She had asked him time, time to be able to trust him fully. He had not hidden her anything about his past, and about the dangers coming from it and able to influence also his present, his future, so possibly also her own life. Their lips were meeting more often than before. And they teased each other as if they had been acquainted for ages. For him she had been a sudden revelation of beauty and a new way to channel his own art.

Time. Of course she had a different feeling of it, being an elf, and this discrepancy in the sense of its passing was nothing really new to him either. They were offered a job. It was probably a good news. For both. They needed to live day by day, yet with some glimpse of future plannings. He felt they could be a heroic couplet closing a sonnet. Their life would have been the most splendid sonnet ever written. He was overhelmed by his imagination and fell asleep with the taste of her lips on his.

Chapter XIII. Part X.

Purple eyes can drown in your own eyes,
Universe-bearing, legit inspiration,
Rearviewing can be counter-productive:
Penetrating your soul, your instinctive
Lady-self, in a perpetual motion,
Eternally on yours, my heart by now lies.
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Chapter XIII. Part XI. "Ladies' Resting"

"You are the healer of my sorrow, I love you, I will be yours forever"

Yesterday is something you asked me to put on a side,
On the sheets and layers of memory, I will rest my head,
Using my wits to look at the future, tomorrow's tide,
A thin cover of ashes, on a not yet extinguished fire laid.
Rotten roots will never have its plant bloom,
Entangled dead leaves are not anything which will seed,
Time is what we choose, not a daily doom,
Heavenly words from the lover's mouth can still breed.
Entered in my own world, you who are free like the sky,
Healing tonic for my almost corrupted soul,
Entered in my own world, a breath of life which can't die:
Art and beauty, mingled in you, my only goal.
Living on the edge, a step from the fall, one from safety,
Extended feelings, stretched, teased, ancient pain,
Ripping away what it was, for what is now in gaiety,
On old roads mud is caused but also washed by the rain.
Feel what I feel, fly with me, in a path of hope,
Men and elves, so different, so far in attitude and age,
Youth, eternal one, it's something you can cope,
Summer breeze, and we are its lovers on life's stage.
On the edge of my own life I will follow,
Ready for you, at any time, readiness is all,
Ready for you, in happiness, no sorrow,
On the edge of my own life I will not fall.
Where have you been all this time, where were you?
It seems my experiences are nothing, the is just the now:
Letting myself dragged in feelings, not just a few,
Over you I bend, I kneel, I pray, and to your self I bow.
Vibrations of the boughs, still the wind, the breeze,
Eternal notes played by angels, you one of them,
You my personal one, save me before I freeze,
Old-fashioned I can be, a back door I want to slam.
Ultimate quest, solving your mystery,
I am the investigator of the secrets of your heart:
Wherever you're hiding your misery,
I will find it, mend it, and turn it in a work of art.
Love me at least the half I do,
Love me as much as you can allow to yourself,
Be mine, don't let me go,
Eternity is our doom, a masterpiece on a shelf.
Yesterday is something I am beginning to forget,
Old thoughts still come back, but you sweep them away,
Universal bliss, a plan we still are to perfectly set,
Riding and sailing towards what will be our best day.
Stay with me, as long as you can and I can,
Feel the way I feel, not forcefully, just free-willed,
On poets' lines, our story, that of an elf and a man,
Ready to start it, and not a drop of us will be spilled.
Eternity, eternal glimpse of happiness,
Vast and broad, you and I, hearts with butterfly wings,
Elvalia, my one and only “Elfess”,
Ready is all myself for you, and my humble heart sings.
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It was sudden. And he felt in himself the same feeling he had had many times in the past. The sense of the loss, the sense of desperation and the subsequent flight. Yet it was not as the previous times. It was not. And he was not even sure if it was any definitive or not. She was scared, maybe even more than he himself was. And of the same thing. Life and passing of time, the fear of remaining alone.

They had kissed. She had cried wrapped in his arms. He had wiped off her tears more than once. She begged him not to allow her to fall for him. He replied he could not promise that, if he was close to her. He had to go away not to allow that.

She used to tell him not to regret about his past. It happened she had even more regrets about that. And even fear towards the future. And the future was blank. For him it was simply dark.

He watched the plain, the lake, he felt not even the strength to cry. He watched below, in hope. And kept waiting...
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Chapter XIII. Part XII. "Flood".

Summer comes and summer goes, sometimes too fast,
Surrendering to the twists of Fate, it seems always too late,
Too late when the falling spell is cast,
Too fast when calendars miss a date.
A neverending winter, here almost on top of mountain,
Still snow, ice for my freezing heart:
If only it existed a spring of eternal youth, a fountain,
We may have not needed to part.
Days of hope alternate with days of despair,
Little drops of thoughts drip and drip, I'm uncertain,
To Harmonia again, travelling in mist and rain,
Or waiting for a suspended end, an end being fair?
My heart and my brain are flooded by an emotional stream,
I want to close my eyes, and starting again to dream.
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And he was there scribbling notes, writing verse and revising past things. He was not properly alone. The arboretum was full of fairy creatures. It was a way to feel close to his beloved and not to feel the pain of the waiting. He stayed there for some days, but days seemed months and years. Occasionally he profited also of the hospitality of the mages to swim in the bath house. Other times, melancholically, he went on the top of the tower to watch below, that place which had dragged him at it again, for some undiscosed reason.

"Are ye 'ere, mate?"

He rose the gaze from his book, watched around, feeling his imagination was having the best of him. "Are ye 'ere, mate?", he heard again. And stood, towards the treshold. There she was, as a star just appeared in the dark sky to brighten it. She was there, finally, their eyes crossed, uncertain. It seemed a thin layer of ice had to be broken again. Outside the rain was heavy, summer time, not too cold to freeze it in snow. They mixed in a long embrace followed by a long kiss. There were not many words to be said. It seemed clear what her decision was. And they signed it with a night of love together.

Before going again down in the valley, he embraced her and whispered the three simple words, no rhyme, no pentameters, just three words, a gaze and honesty. She remained at first wordless. Then she replied. They were ready for their new tomorrows.
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Chapter XIII. Part XIII. "Burn"

The winter of my soul seems ended, gone, a clearer sky
Opens wide on my future, yet still there are the clouds:
Better loving for a day, than never having loved and die,
Feeling alone, all alone, despite standing in the crowds.
Something new is born, and my heart is combustion, burns,
I will challenge Fate and Luck, for our best:
When to my intense and dense past my thought turns,
I just feel it is the future my only true test.
Rotten corpses, foul smells, envious eyes cusiously peek,
Ashes and dust, ruins, this is where we must fight,
Opposing to it all, hiding, remaining alive is what we seek,
Somewhere there is truth, within ourselves the only right.
Ask me to die for you, and you know I will,
Ask me to be yours, you know I am still.

« Last Edit: February 08, 2010, 06:57:52 AM by +Ciaran+ »
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Chapter XIII. Part XIV. "Autumn"

Some words can be repeated for ever and ever,
They flow and fly, live and die; dismay and leisure,
Everything can be created, as something slower,
Or faster, giving breath to thoughts which endure.
Tides depend on the moon, on sun some flowers,
The thunder being the noise of the ligthning:
Intimate clouds which cause painful inner showers,
Time gets short, and shorter because of figthing.
Still alive, and you came to save my lost blood,
Still alive, and you decided not to withdraw:
A turmoil of emotions, a sudden and lively flood,
A dream of which you are the last thing I saw.
Again in a sweet dream I want to see your eyes,
And here by me, you, when the last light dies.


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Chapter XIII. Part XV. "Daydreaming Warmth"

A new meeting, warm melting touch,
Under the Barovian heavy snow flakes,
Like cobbles filling an old pouch,
Freezing time, rivers, waves and lakes.
Your eyes lost sometimes in day-dreams,
And my words which try to attract them:
Dreams, eyes, tears which turn into streams,
In the turmoil of thoughts, fancy mayhem.
We met once, we met twice, what tomorrow?
Days will pass, seasons too, far and homeless,
May I be the one to cleanse your secret sorrow,
May I be the one to heal your restlessness.
Words are words, and they will go away:
Winter will too, and I'll be there that day.

Chapter XIII. Part XVI. "Veari".

Vineyard of wonders, if you were a wine,
Eastern smell, shivers beneath a snowy pine:
Are you real?
Real the deal?
I will wait for winter, when you'll be mine.
« Last Edit: October 27, 2010, 04:04:25 PM by DM Tarokka »
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He read for the first time the limerick he wrote before burning it in a fireplace.

"All in the tales and past memories,
Light diamond shades, just reveries:
In the mists, mystery and light,
Ceasing from dawn to twilight.
End of the game, wrapped in mysteries."

And the simply kept on writing his ballad.

Chapter XIII. Part XVII. "Art"

Meadows and oceans can breathe summer breeze,
Yesterday we met, and again, more, and again:
Seasons pass, but streaming time will never freeze,
Tearing thunders will announce incoming rain.
East were was we first met, in Barovia Village,
Repeatedly met again, in teasing temptation:
You are just a drop of a rare, precious vintage,
And just a mouthful cannot save from starvation.
Readiness is all and random was the timing,
Teasing display of unusual balanced shape:
Even in dreams I can hear you hum and sing,
Mysterious woman hidden by a shadowy cape.
Is this going to continue, to keep on, like this?
Silently I will wait, and yearn, for a new death-kiss.

Chapter XIII. Part XIX. "Vaeri and Ciaran".

Visible or invisible, what we are is clear,
Everlasting love, possibly, our real hope,
And the day we can overcome any fear,
Ready we are, and we'll fight and cope.
I am a humble servant of you and Beauty,
As the time passes, we're deeper in dreams:
Nothing will distract me from my duty,
Destiny will tell if we're night or sunbeams.
Come to me, as you always do, come
In my nights to claim me, to save my day,
And to find a place we can call home,
Real or imaginary, it is just up to us to say.
Another year and a day to dream your touch,
Never satisfied, never saying it is too much.
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Chapter XIII. Part XX. "The Wait...."

If autumn took with itself rain and the first cold,
Zephyr blows, clouds hoard, and fog may be thick:
As long as you are there, as Beauty still unfold,
Being warm within, protected, and never sick.
Endless sighs you will cause, and eternal moan,
Let them be jealous, and display your auburn hair,
Allure them with your lips, grateful for their loan
I am, spectator and actor of something rich and fair.
Nothing tells me this is any way a chance,
Better living in a dream than not sleeping at all:
Eternal movements for an endless dance,
Leaning my body, I will be ready for the fall.
Let them cry and behold, let them keep the pain,
'Cause you will wash it away, mu autumn rain.

Chapter XII. Part XXI. "Quatrain - Unfinished"

On this I shall need to elaborate more in time,
Zealously finding rhythm and a proper rhyme:
Are you just the subject for a simple quatrain?
No, but for now I will not write more in vain.
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Chapter XII. Part XXII. "We Are One"

Winter has come and a new life for us begins,
Endless pain is all on our back, look to the future,
And the seasons can change, as time still spins,
Ready to start anew: I'm yours, you can be sure.
Eager to have you, as we are one, as the waves
On the oceans are part of the same rolling water:
Nail for a painting, smoothness a razor shaves,
Eager to be yours, and my love to you cater.
At the end of time, your eyes will still shine,
Lullaby words to linger and delay what will come:
When I am old, I know you'll be still mine,
And I yours, and a sonnet memories will overcome.
Yesterday and tomorrow will be always a today:
Smile to me, and may your lips seal this day.
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Chapter XII. Part XXIII. "Sudden Moonstruck".

Bee flying on flowers, feeding honey, flying,
Entering in my life like that, by chance:
As the moon shines on us, and we are lying,
Zap with no light, defeated with no defence.
Endless question is what will be of us tomorrow,
Letting the gentle waves of fate simply lead,
Letting the moon tides deal with the sorrow,
In our sense of time there is no rush, no speed.
I am what I am, and you are what you are,
An obvious sentence, with no shame and no lie:
Zephyrs will blow behind us, driving us far,
At the final destination, a star up in the sky.
And the seasons will pass with an open question:
Love can be love just if the hearts are in motion?
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Chapter XII. Part XXIV. "Sin"

Ecstatic sin, fruit of mindless thought,
Letting just the senses be, they fought,
Empty bodies, with no shame,
Never regrets, you feel the same:
I am partly yours, and in the sin caught.
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Chapter XII. Part XXV. "Sunrises"

Eternal warm breeze filling my nostrils, your scent
Lets your presence being felt, such as the flash
Electrically announces thunders: a sudden event,
Nobody of us could foresee, despite the clear clash.
In the Dementlieuse nights, below the moonlight,
As dancing shadows we jump and dash, unfair
Nemesis of those whom we decide together to fight,
Dancing, darting, headed to an always new lair.
Clever is the one who beholds your bright skin,
I am lucky enough who daily is able to afford:
And the nights pass by, we know we are akin,
Ready for a new melody, a touch, a new chord.
Are you not, in my life, the happiest and newest surprise?
Never saying no, as we watch, together, a new sunrise.
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Charpter XII. Part XXVI. "Our Sad Farewell"

On the paved road of Vallaki, wet and dirty,
Ultimate place were one can meet and leave,
Rust and dust, not even desire to be any flirty,
Sensible journey where I gave more than receive.
As the ocean waves roar, I hear from a window,
Dementlieuse comfortable loneliness:
Fast asleep, yet dreamless, hugging my pillow,
As you're not here, a dot in the darkness.
Really I do not even know if you'll come back,
Endless hours, twilights and sunsets,
When you are the only thing now I lack,
Endless days, and my soul struts and frets.
Leaving you there was a huge mistake,
Letting me go was simply your own take.
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Chapter XII, Part XXVII. "Parting the Mists"

Killing something which has not even yet been born
As a dream destroyed by a sudden awakening,
Entering directly the rough reality, fearing and forlorn:
Yielding to past regrets, lies, mistakes, missing...
Nothing has born and nothing will thus die,
As it is, I blink, close eyes, and bid goodbye.
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*bump for future*
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