Tome of B. Dragomir

[Axra]

Bela is Barovian by birth and upbringing.  His mother was a simple house wife and his father worked tirelessly in a Vallaki warehouse.  It was here where he grew up and from his parents he was educated.  One could easily think he was just like every other Barovian at first; suspiscious of strangers, suspicious of churches, despises Gundarakites, fearful of magic...  This is how any Barovian child could be expected to be raised.  Except he is different.  What happens to a person whom is caught weaving magic?  Executuion.  Belas curse is, he was born with the ability to use magic naturally.

For eighteen years he hid his evil ability and frequently denied himself the acknowledgement that it ever existed.  He hated himself and what he could do.  Magic was an evil and dastardly thing.

Bela spent alot of time alone, listening to people and rumours.  He was never taught to properly read, but he made an effort, and with the help of some people he knew, Anchorites, merchants and their wives, other people whom knew him and his family, he began taking in a fascintaion with books and stories.  It was growing up in his teens and learning all these unusual and wonerful things that he started to wonder, "Magic is evil, but why?", "Why do people hate outlanders?", "Is it true they use magic in other lands?", "Why was I born like this?"  There were so many questions un answered, and so much that made no sense to him.  He was not satisfied with blindly accepting what he had been taught, expecially knowing what he was. "I am not evil so why can I use magic?"

He left Vallaki alone for the first time.

With only his plain clothes, a cloak for the cold, a homemade flail, simple bow and arrows, a little fang, and followed by a cat he called Nightshade, he set out to find the answers to his question and discover the truth.

Bela Dragomir
Barovian witch. Known as a Sorcerer to outlanders.

Age: 20
Hair: Short, dark brown.
Skin tone: Tanned but not dark
Eyes: Brown
Height: Appx 6'
Weight: 10 to 12 stone
Notes on appearance: At first glance, he is classicly handsome, woman in the past have found him highly attractive and men would mistake him for being soft because of his facial appearance.  He does not shave because he doesnt grow alot of facial hair. He has a very short outgrowth of stubble on his face which never seems to grow much longer.  He is fit in physical stature but not heavily muscled.  He appears friendly and easily approachable, but his eyes have a steady look of uncertainty and mistrust, and is always 'looking over his shoulder'.

((OOC Note: Belas background runs deep and has many details behind it which i have chosen not to write above. Instead I will add pieces of his history in the forth comming posts, so as you read on, you will learn more about Bela, and his story will unfold. Also note that Belas writing is poorer than his reading, and his journal IC contains by many little pictures and drawings to explain what he cannot write.  To save drawing alot of pictures and writing poorly.  I will do you all a favour and translate it all into a text that will be a little easier to read ))

[Axra]

The leather bound tome Bela holds is a simple one.  The leather has been stained to a vivid orange hue, the top half shows an imprint resembling a man on fire, and "B.Dragomir" is delicately embossed near the center of the lower half of the cover.  He paid a little extra at the booksellers to have this printed, but it was important.  This tome was simple, but special.

And so the tome reads...

As part of my initiation into the Coven of the Weeping Rose, Miuo has asked that I bring two items.  An item to become my Anchor, and this book.  An empty tome I will use to record my journey, and write about my part in service to Hala, the Coven, and the Weave.  Much is still new and unknown to me, and it is here I will write my discovies and experiences.

I am Bela Dragomir, and I am a Warlock of Hala.

As I write this I am only eighteen, and already I have lived and experienced two very different lives.  Once I was called Bela Dragomir, Storeman of Vallaki.  For the most part I lived an ordinary life.  Only, I was born with an ability to use magic.  I later found out it is what some people like to call "sorcerer" magic.  I remember hating myself, refusing to acknowledge it, pretending It never existed.  Evil people used magic, so i thought, and I tried all i could to prove i was not evil.  My powers scared me because I did not nkow how to control it.  Sometimes I would do things magically without thinking about it.  I was fearful, if someone caught me, I would be executed, child or not.  And my family too.

I remember my perspective on things began to change when I was sixteen years old.  Good people, like my father, were capable of cruel and hurtful things... And 'evil' people, like ezrite and morninglord priests would heal people of their wounds, and treat them for illness.  People would call it witchcraft, or 'occult' magic. They called it all sorts of things.  Guarda would beat people for crimes they did not commit, thugs would protect a beggar being taunted by the wealthy.  None of it made sense.  Mother and father had always tried to make it all so black and white.  This is good, that is evil.  But I started to wonder if that really was the case...

I became interested in stories I heard from travellers, and started reading books I could find.  My reading was extremely poor however, so i would find people we knew who could read to me and help me practice with my words.  I learned that everyone was capable of both good and evil... Barovians have branded magic as evil my whole life, but I had seen magic do good, so why do they still call It evil?

The winter of my eighteenth year, I left Vallaki on what i guess you could call an adventure.  I never said goodbye to my family, I did not want them to know where I was going. I wanted to find the truth, find out why Barovians hate magic, churches and outlanders.  And find the truth about magic, as much as I hated to admit it.  The western outskirts was always rumoured to be bustling with outlanders, which is why so many avoided it.  So there was my first destination.  The day I left, was when my first life ended.  Alot happened that night...

[Axra]

As the days pass, Bela feels stronger, and more confident about his gift of magic.  However still ignorant and unknowing of much of the world around him, his confidence now allows him to take a further step into the future, and more of the truth he seeks becomes revealed.

And so the tome reads...

Last night, was the ritual where we created my anchor.  This ring on my smallest left finger, was a special gift, and suitable for such a purpose.  The ritual was an experience I will hold close for the rest of my life.  I could feel the very fabric of the weave moving through every part of my body, becomming one with me.  The ring on this hand, is a memento of this event, because through this ring, my soul is bound to the weave.  I can see it, feel it, and touch it more easily now.  This ring.... I wont ever forget who gave it to me...

Her name was Naomi.  She was the first outlander I had met upon leaving Vallaki, and she was a sorceress, a weilder of magic of the same essence as my own.  When I met her, she was the most beautiful woman I had even seen, and maybe even the most terrifying.  She saw through my denial, and was determined to make me see what I really was.  I had never been so scared In my life.  Forced to use the ability which I feared and tried to escape from for so many years.  I ran from her.

The second time I met her, I had become a little more comfortable with my gift.  There was much I did not know however, but this time I was eager to learn.  She gave me this ring, which is now my Anchor.  It helped me concentrate.  With its aid, she showed me that Nightshade, the cat whom had been with me my whole life, could be summoned to my side at will.  She taught me the nature in which sorcerer magic is used and aquired.  This time she wasnt so terrifying.  She taught me things no-one else could...

[Axra]

It is spring now, and the winter that Bela left behind showed him more than he ever thought possible.  He found faith, discovered magic, met many new faces, but the biggest impact on Bela has been that for the first time in his life, he has found people he can trust.

And so the tome reads...

Barovians are a suspicious people.  Many Barovians find It hard to trust anything unfamiliar and outside their own circles.  For me, I could not even trust my own parents.  They would hate me for knowing what I am.  When I left Vallaki, I met Naomi, but I also met Miuo Nevai and Vanquist Lenore.  They would become the first people on this world I would trust with my life, and would later be come known to me as brother and sister, such is the bond that has grown between us.  At first though, they were just more 'witches' trying to dig at my abilities.  They were kinder than most and taught me much, so i travelled with them.  Through them I found faith, love, a sense of comfort only a family could bring, acceptance of myself, but most importantly, I found freedom.

As the weeks have passed, there have been many others we have journeyed with and met.  In a sense, you could say its easier for me to trust now, but that is not all true.  I think there is a point in which you can trust someone you dont really know.  Although many we have travelled with have been able to use magic or have had some other quirk that prompt many into hating them...I still cant help but look over my shoulder, and keep my back well guarded.  Then there are the few people you meet who really make an impact on you, like Miuo and Van did with me as I came to know them.  Naomi has been travelling with us more.  I never trusted her before, but as I learn about her, the more I begin to understand and appreciate.  She has accepted a request from Miuo to teach me more, and though she did not have to, she accepted.  I look forward to the time we spend together.

I was with Van when he attended a meeting of 'holy warriors' in the elven village Daeganwyy.  It was...uncomfortable at first.  Her name was Magdalena Frost, she headed the meeting, and asked me to fill a seat.  At first I declined, insisted I didnt infact.  Magdalena was clad in armour representing the Faerunian god 'Kelemvor', and there was a look to her that said she had seen alot of conflict, a real hardness.  I dont know what it was exactly but, I just remember looking into those eyes of hers and feeling....at ease.  Beneath her tough surface, there is a real gentleness resounding within her.  I took a seat at the table.

After I became a Warlock, there was a few other times I encountered Magdalena.  She spoke of her battle against the undead, her aspirations for justice and what was right, she is a gentle soul inside an armoured body.  Miuo invited her to witness the ritual where I created my Anchor.  Then I knew, she is another whom I could trust with my life.  My respect and admiration of her runs deep I think.  Beneath her hardened exterior and beautiful face, there is a Magdelena whom has made her way into my heart.

Some, I could never trust.  The Red Vardo Traders, whom I am sure are responsible for the ruin of a man I once worked for, to name a few.  There is a snake-like man whom has begun following Miuo around.  His name is Szar...he has green...scaly skin...If you could call it that, fangs, and a forked tounge.  He follows a god named Set.  I do not trust him.  He seems intent on eating Nightshade, I have to keep her away from the snake before she does something devious to the creature.  She placed a curse on him once, which was funny at the time, but was promptly removed by Miuos 'request'.  He was with us in the crypt below the Morninglord sanctuary.  There he was part of a ritual.  It was him I am sure of it.  The room became hot, wood caught fire and we were attacked by the biggest wild snakes I have ever seen.  All the while Szar stands there swaying in the middle of this....circle.... with what you could only assume was a smile....If snakes smile.  After, he wished us carry on as if nothing had happened.  I wish he would slither back to his desert.  I worry much for Miuo's trust in the snake, she seems naive towards the fact that he could wish harm on everyone around her.  I swear I will make sure such a thing does not happen, and I am sure brother would too.

[Axra]

Every day, Bela learns a little more about his inherited abilities.  As he learns, so to does he come to understand the consequences that arise from someone abusing this power.  For both himself, and those around him, magic can be a frightening force.

And so the tome reads...

Until this past week, I did not know of the different types of magic.  "Schools" they are called.  Miuo tells me that Naomi is a necromancer, which is frowned upon by most, but she uses her gift responsibly.  I never questioned her judgement or opinion about it until lately.  I thought that all magic was a neutral force, as it was one with the weave.  What makes it good or evil depends on the intentions of the one casting it.  Is the priestess of the Morninglord sanctuary evil because she heals people whom are evil?  Can the necromancer be good because they can use their abilities to protect the innocent and destroy the undead?  This is what i believed.

I was weilding the staff Battle Verge as a group of us hunted neuri inside a cave north west of lake Zarovich.  Using the power of Battle Verge, I fought alongside my friends against the neuri.  All went well until I misfired with the staff and sent an enormous amount of negative energy coursing through Magdalena.  The look of horor and anguish I saw on her beautiful face haunts me everyday now.  The staff belonged to the deceased vampire Vincent, and was designed to be a tool of wickedness.  I thought that such items are only evil in the hands of people who are themselves evil.  If it was used for good, then its alright, thus is the nature of balance.  But that day I questioned that belief.  How could anything that causes so much pain, and anguish ever be used for good?  What good can come out of using such a thing at all?  Why were these weapons not destroyed?

Magdalena cursed me for using magic from the school of necromancy.  The one thing she hates more than anything, and the one thing she has sworn to destroy in the name of her god.  Her words were "Necromancy is evil and corrupt!".  We argued.  I tried to explain what I thought was the truth of it, about how necromancy is only evil when used for evil, and how its balanced by magic which does good, like healing.  She would not believe it.  I dislike the undead, but I still didnt see clearly how necromancy on its own was evil.  I hurt her, and to save losing her for good, i swore to her never to use necromancy, or condone the use of it in her presence until the day I die.

I spoke with Naomi the Necromantic Sorceress, and friend, whom was teaching me about my skills.  It was after this conversation when I started to question my beliefs about the nature of this magic, and its presence in the weave.  She told me that necromancy had corrupted her.  She does not care for people anymore.  She has no concience of their suffering.  Infact, I think she may take pleasure in it.  She has a fondess for the undead and forces of wickedness that really do concern me at times.  She has watched out for me, Miuo and Van....but beyond that, something isnt right.  One thing echos in my mind though, necromancy has corrupted her.  What balance comes from using magic that corrupts those whom use it?  Would I become like Naomi if I chose to continue using necromancy?  Brother....He weilds vincents swords and uses it frequently...It too possesses necromantic power.  Will it corrupt him even If he uses it for good?

Is it possible that the weaves used in necromancy are...distorted?  That necromancy itself corrupts the balance?  I have discovered that necromancy is evil, inspite of balance.  It can be used for good but, at what price?  So many questions that I dont know If anyone has the answers to.  If necromancy corrupts the balance, then it is against everything the coven stands for to condone the use of it.  Until I know for sure, I will not use it again.  I hope Miuo and Van will agree with me...

[Axra]

Sometimes good and evil have a cruel way of becoming balanced.  Bela has a family and friends he holds close, but sometimes they are not always around.  For the first time in his new life, he was forced to face his most dire situation yet.  And he had to face it alone.

And so the tome reads...

How do you describe what it is to try and rescue someone, only to have both of you suffer more?  Sudhri, the boot maker.  I sought to free the debt she had to three wicked men.  The priest leading them had rescued her from an unconcious state, and demanded her servitude until she could pay six hundred fang.  To help someone just to make them your slave.... It made me sick...

I paid her debt, but later It was I who fell against some neuri, and the priest saved me.  But It was not I whom was in debt, It was Sudhri once again... They let Sudhri beg for my life while they watched me bleed.  When I came too, and discovered this, I furiously lashed out.  I was angry...and foolish.  They were ready to kill me, they would watch me die again.  I was alone, and quickly becoming afraid for my life...

Sudhri cried.  Thoughts of my life began reminding me of what I would be leaving behind If I died for good.  Miuo and Van, the best friends and closest family I have ever known.  I havent seen them in nearly a week.  I miss them terribly....  Naomi, my teacher, her heat is filled with darkness, but she always stood by me...  Zosia, Kross, I wish I could have known you better, you didnt deserve to be hurt..... Sudhri.  I havent known you long, but your heart is good.  Be safe... Magdalena.... Magdalena Im sorry for what I did.  I wish I could of held you one last time.  In death, my heart will still be yours...  They were my final thoughts.

I ran, and they killed me.  I was dead, and not a soul knew where I was.

I woke at the Morninglord Sanctuary outside Vallaki.  No one else was around.  I was alive, although how, I doubt I will ever know.  But I was alive.

This last day, all i can think about was that moment.  That moment when I felt alone, and all I wanted was someone I cared for to be near me. Miuo and Van still have not shown up.  I want to see everyone again, but more than anything, I just want to see Magdalena smile again.  I would give myself to the mist If I could see her one last time... I hope she is alright.  She is still mad to be sure.  But that doesnt matter, so long as she is safe.

Never in my life have I experienced so much hardship as I have since leaving Vallaki.  And I ask myself, Is it worth it?  Through all I have been through in the past weeks, all I have learned and discovered, all the people I have met, and all those whom I have come to love and loathe, has it really been worth it?

Da.

[Axra]

For his whole life he has lived by the rules of his society without question, believing it was right.  And for that, he hated himself.  He left Vallaki to find the truth.  He found truth in Halas dogma, and he found truth in balance.  As the youths journey throughout the harsh reality of Ravenloft reveals more to him, he discovers that many people choose to believe their own truths without seeing the bigger picture.  And although learning the truth is Belas quest, sometimes the truth can be hard to accept.

And so the tome reads...

Alot has happened and, this is the first day in a while I feel I am of a good mind to write.  I left the Coven of the Weeping Rose.  I am still a Warlock of Hala only... I can no longer follow or obey the guidance of Miuo.  She would have me obey her will without question, and it matters not about anyone elses point of view.  Miuo has a vendeta against a mage named Amelia.  They follow different godessses but with a similar philosophy.  It all started when Miuo attempted a ritual to become more powerful magically.  She justifies it by saying she wanted to be more usefull in magic to help people.  Amelia witnessed this and saw someone who is greedy and misusing the weave.  Sadly I am inclined to agree with her... Miuos ritual failed, and as a consequence, Miuo and her two companions whom were with her, became cursed.  Anyone could tell you that it was a foolish endevour.  Amelia called her down for her mistake, and that is how It began.

When I saw Miuo and Amelia fight for the first time, all I saw was a petty and disruptive show of agression which seemed to have no purpose whatsoever, past or no past.  I wanted to find out why, so I asked Amelia and Miuo both their sides of the story.  It was a mistake that happened a long time ago, what Miuo did, yet Amelia persisted with the abuse, and Miuo persisted to retaliate.  There was nothing to gain for either of them.  I tried to suggest a solution.  I spoke to Amelia, and she agreed to back down from her agression towards Miuo.  I spoke to Miuo and she did not agree to back down until Amelia appologised for her agressive actions.  The way I saw it was, Miuo had made a mistake with the ritual, but refused to acknowledge she had done wrong by anyone else except to her and her two companions.  She went so far as to say that, Amelias beliefs had nothing to do with her, because Amelia is not Halan.  And then it became a case of me siding with another over my own Coven, and even, siding with another faith over Hala.  Alot of hurtful things were said, yet some of what she said, I could not believe.  I could not bare the thought of the Mistress of our Coven, my leader, guide and teacher, having such a hateful and shallow view of such a trivial situation as a personal vendetta.  I set out to try and end a long time feud between Miuo and Amelia.  I ended up leaving the Coven.

I miss them both terribly.  They were my family.  But, I can not go back to the Coven.  Van....named me traitor.  He was my brother, yet, I think he really would kill me.  So much has gone wrong so fast.  Amelia and her teacher, Alexias... They counciled me, they understood my point of view.  Alexias never wished hatred between herself and Miuo, but it came to fruition anyway... Perhaps just out of association.  She is an extremely intellegent woman and the most talented user of the weave I have ever seen.  I asked to become her apprentice and she accepted.  She has much to teach me, and I want to learn it all.  Miuo and Van.... will see it as me choosing sides...but that is not the case.  It is sad that they are so hateful... But even though I am not in the Coven, I will still work to try and mend this rift.  I miss them alot.

I went to The Prancing Nymph in Vallaki one night... I guess I was feeling alone... Or perhaps I wanted to be alone.  Vanquist told me there was 'something for me there' before I left the Coven.  I dare not ask what it was...  The Nymph is...full of beautiful ladies but... How can anyone be so comfortable in a place like this?  They all wear so little and the men there... I dont know If they know how to respect a woman at all... Neither do I, but It cant be like this surely!  I was sitting at the bar downstairs when I was approached by a woman named Serafim... This was Vans 'gift'.... He paid her three thousand Fang to... 'make me a man'.  Never in my life have I been so embarassed or felt so awkward!  Serafim was beautiful but... The only woman on my mind was Magdalena.  It did not feel right at all.  I turned her down and she respected that.  Then, somehow she talked me into working up the courage to tell Magdalena how I feel about her, after we talked some.

So I told Magdalena I love her.  It was hard at first... But I am glad I did it.  I said I would be there to protect her, nurture her, care for her and make sure she had a happy life, even in Barovia.  I would help her fight against undead, pursue her achievements and would never give up on her.  This I promised.  And I meant it.  She dominates every feeling of warmth and pleasure inside my heart.  Everytime I see her, the mist clears away and illuminates her in sunshine.  Her smile....gives me another reason to live.

She kissed me, and held me.  Inspite of all her armour, she was warm, and tender.  Before she left she said... "I will think on this, and you will like the answer".

I went on my first journey with Alexias and Amelia.  It was a quest to 'increase expendature' by searching for ancient Terg relics.  The pair of them are highly skilled wizards.  They learn to use the weave by studying spell books and memorizing incantations, and they study tirelessly.  I worry about Alexias though.  I had heard from Van and Miuo that Alexias was held prisoner by the vampire Vincent.  During our journey, Alexias became wounded and exhausted quite heavily.  I moved to see to her wounds and noticed she had the remaining traces of a bite mark on her neck, at least a week old.  It was a vampire bite.  I discussed it with her, and she assures me that she is not ill.  Amelia tells me you can not become a vampire from one bite.  I worry about her though and I will look for a solution, should she turn out to be diseased. 

If she does turn, and become a vampire.  I will kill her.

[Axra]

Love, pain, passion...

And so the tome reads...

Love...is an amazing thing...but it can be taken from you so easily.  Its as if....your heart climbs into your throat, the trapdoor opens, and the noose tightens with the force of a thunder storm...Never have I felt so much pain.

I love Magdalena...but our faiths, and our beliefs....are too different for us to lead a life together... I think about her all the time, but this is the best.  I will still protect her with all my heart though, should I see her again.  She was the first domna I ever loved.

The dancer Serafim, she had become a friend, in a sense.  I enjoyed talking to her, and I could talk to her....with no fear of being judged or criticised.  I never knew if she only had my company because it was her job or something else.  After Magdalena left, I went to confide in her... I dont know why or how things happened as they did, but, she kissed me.... Her gaze was deep, her skin was warm, and when she kissed me, it was as if the sun rose up inside me and filled me with warmth, comfort, and desire.

I was foolish to think she would allow me to court her, though.  She doesnt court, but she wants us to be..'kissing friends'...  I dont know if this is something people do, it still seems strange to me.  She said I was her first and only 'kissing friend'....I dont think I believe her but I could not stop thinking about her...It was not love....It was passion, and it cut deep like the jaws of a neuri.

I remembered a clothing store in Port-a-Lucine.  It sold exquisite dresses.  I knew Serafim grew up in the Vallaki slum and had not left Valalki often, so I bought her an amazing gown.  She is of similar body shape to Alexias I thought, so she reluctantly and begrudgingly tried it on, it was hilarious to say the least.  The look of disgust on her face was priceless!  Serafim loved the gown, and she look unbelievably amazing wearing it.

After she tried the dress...She threw herself on me... It was a whirlwind of passion, intense and untamed like a burning forest.  In those hours, my soul had left my body and found hers.  Our minds and bodies were united, our hearts beated together in perfect unison...  She was the only person in the world, and she was with me.  It was love made pure.

I do not understand women, I never have.  How can you share something so powerful and magnificent, yet with ease, seem to carry on as If it was just another day.  Sera wanted me to see her dancing.  Excited to see her face and smile, her touch, warmth, and soft words imprinted in my memory, I went to see her.  I wish I never went back to the Nymph again.  She would not speak to me, and when I tried, I was a stranger to her... She gave the garda all the attention he wanted, and others who were there also...I became without words.  What am I supposed to make of something like that?  I turn around, and there is a woman wearing the dress I gave her.  I wanted to be sick... Why would she do anything like that?  It did not make any sense!  I decided to leave her alone until after her show... She was about to leave, and as I approached her, it turned out that the garda she had been so attentive to...was escorting her home.  I could not take it.  How could someone show you such passion only to discard and forget about you like a burnt out torch.  I....wished I was dead.  I still do.

I decided to see her in the day.  I had to tell her how I felt and find out if she ever really cared.  She said it was work, thats all, and she didnt give the dress away.  Lies.  Work or not, why would she ignore me so blatantly, why would she give away the dress she claimed to love and why would she go home with the garda, at the same time pretending I did not exist.  I feel...used...torn....ripped in half....the noose has tightened and its only a matter of time until my heart is crushed and my last breath has left me.

I told her that I would never return to the Nymph.  And If she ever cared for me, she would find me.  Sera walked out angry.  Before I left, I wrote a simple note:

Serafim...
The Ladies Rest. My heart is yours.

I guess, it is only part of the balance, that something that brings so much joy, could bring so much pain...

[Axra]

Events, no matter the nature, have a way of changing people for better or worse.  Repetative strife and hardship can toughen up a person, make them stronger, or drive them to insanity.  All too much has happened to Bela since his departure from Vallaki.  The world as he knew it was shaken to the core, and even the events of late have caused him to question all he has come to believe in.

And so the tome reads...

This place I find peace in, though many would call me mad for sleeping out at night.  I doubt a neuri would ever have reason to come here, or be able to.  It is secluded.  Peaceful.  If there was danger though, I trust the Vistani camp not far would detect it before I would.

I find myself here alot lately.  The stars are amazing.  An endless array of mystery, yet just another part of the weave.  Gentle flows of water, wolves and neuri howling far into the distance, owls, insects, me, and my thoughts.  How much can one person really know about themselves?  Lately, I have found myself questioning my own thoughts alot.  Part of it makes me laugh, part of it makes me mad and, part of it leaves me feeling embarrassed.  I think back across the things past friends have said to me... They are all right.

Women.  I am, was, so ignorant and unknowing of the way things worked with women.  Growing up as reclusive as I was... I guess I was afraid to be near a girl.  It wasnt until I learned to not be ashamed of what I was that I started showing interest in women.  There were women that were not scared of arcane magic, and some even adored it.  Magdalena was the first woman I loved, I wont forget her.  Naomi, she is a Necromancer, but for a time I became attracted to her.  I think she was the first I had become attracted to ever, though she doesnt know it.  Miuo and Van wished us to court but, it was Magdalena I fell for.  And then Serafim.  Serafim.  Lying here tonight, shes still the image of beauty that has made home in my mind every day.  And the subject of my dreams every night.  I was a mule-headed fool.

Days had passed since that time we fought, and alot happened to me.  Zosia and I are becomming good friends.  I am comming to like her more and more, but my mind is always on Sera.  Magdalena seems to be drifting further to the back of my mind with each day I dont see her.  Sometimes I get confused as to whats right and what I should do and how things should be...  Alexias said thats my problem, and its no wonder I get upset.  Too many women on my mind.  Its funny to think about it, but she could be right!  I know nothing of women and over thinking on it really gives you a headache!

For all I had known, i thought there were rules.  Guidelines for things like courting, falling in love, telling a girl you like her, marriage, sex, sleeping in the same bed.  I thought there were all these rules and I did not know a single one.  I have discovered...there are no rules.  And I have been embarassing myself thinking that there were for a long time.  We just, follow our hearts.  My heart told me that it was wrong to leave Sera like that.  I never stopped thinking about her and now I know, i think, how she is thinking.

She is a dancer.  Her work means everything to her.  And her work involves entertaining the people who come to see her.  People see her for her dancing, for her beauty and for being able to listen and give them attention.  It has been hard to come to terms with but... I am not the last man to kiss her...or sleep with her...and probably wont be the last man she becomes attracted to... I think it comes with her job and I think that as long as she is a dancer, we could never truely be together.  But I also think, that she likes having men in her life that care about her for reasons beyond her beauty and seductiveness.  So I seeked out Tarja.  Her boss as I came to understand, to find out how she was.

Tarja said she was sad.  She said, she told Sera of her past husbands and Sera was sad because, she wanted to find love.  I think, she knew who I was.  She told me to see her.

And so I did.  She was speaking to the Garda captain.  The same one who escorted her that night.  Serafim told me that women like confidence.  I approached the garda and i guess one could say politely interupted and took Seras attention.  He left.  Good riddance.  So we spoke, I appologised and well, she said she was disapointed.  Disapointed basicly because I was clueless but that i would learn in time... She was right.  I was clueless and fumbled like a drunken idiot loading an ox and cart with manure.  It was a miracle I made it this far!  But she forgave me none the less.  She seems a little bit different now though and I cant figure out why.  It was almost like for a moment, she was the one who was nervous.  For the first time in a while I was really happy.  I promised to see her again, and I did.  As a friend, and a customer, I went to the Nymph to see Sera.  She bought drink.  Cooked a warm and fresh meal, the first I had had in weeks!  I sneaked into the kitchen and gave her a gentle kiss on her neck as she was cooking.  She smiled at that.  As I left, she kissed me on the cheek with that pretty smile of hers.  And everything was right again.  I think.

I guess I cant help but be jealous about that bouncer...Elfric is his name, he seems to be getting really close to her.  Closer than any one else who works there, thats certain.  I dont like him.  Something isnt right, I can feel it.  Well, for all I know... he could have slept with her, or kissed her.  Jealousy feels disgusting... Whats worse is that I cant shake It!  Alexias is right! I dont know what I can do, but one thing I know is that Sera isnt mine and she can do as she wants.  

But, maybe I shouldnt stop there... If I was to follow my heart, I would take her in my arms and never let her go!  Maybe I shouldnt give up on her, at least not without trying!  I need to think of something... Something to really make the light shine from that beautiful smile of hers!.....Actually, that gives me an idea...

I wish, the fight I had with Sera was my only problem.

A Sorcerer, a Morninglordian mystic named Atlantia, travelled with me to the village of Barovia to reveal to me a secret.  Although on the way, she was slain by a powerful group of magic users.  I survived and ran ahead to Barovia to seek help.  That help was Miuo, Vanquist, and a priestess of Bane.  Bane.  Miuo had always said Banites would torture Halans to learn our secrets without mercy, remorse, or hesitation.  Here they were, sharing polite conversation with a Banite.  Miuo was a little more blunt with me, which isnt really a suprise.  Van was the same virtually, but, I worry about him.  He has come into possetion of some evil weapons.  So evil, being near them makes me want to vomit.  They are changing him, I know it.  Slowly they are changing him.  When I found the three, they agreed to help but, I was so frightened.  Then I was reminded about something important...something I must have forgotten.  I asked Miuo why she trusted that woman, she said "Because she has given us no reason not to".  She was right, and again, I had been a fool.  She was a Banite, but she did help us and even If she has ill intent, I had no right to judge her so.  A Halan would not shun someone just by being of another faith.  This I had forgotten.  However, i doubt I could trust someone so easily as Miuo.  I think I have been losing sight on my belief in Halas teachings.  I need guidance I think.

Alantia has dragon blood.  Her skin is hot, shimmers in the sun, and she can....breathe fire.  I had no idea that a sorcerers lineage could affect them so much... I still wonder what I am.

I think I need to take a step back.  Much is happening around me and only now am I realising that, there is no way I can find the answers to everything.  Much will forever remain unknown to me.  All I can do is take it as It comes, but in the meantime, focus more on myself......And maybe Serafim.

[Axra]

As days pass, Bela begins to discover that feelings and emotions he had kept bottled away almost his entire life, were begining to surface.  Hatred, heartache, lust, and love to name a few.  Unfortunatly for him though, most of what he is discovering he has had to learn about the hard way.  Only now does he realise something about himself that has been the source of all his heart ache since the very start.

And so the tome reads...


Iadul.

I am too eager to give away my heart.

It is simple.

And its true.

I spent almost a whole day thinking about it and well, I never used to be like this.  I guess, I dont know... Maybe I have been alone for so long now and, now that I have had a taste of what it is like to have someone, I want that feeling back as quickly as possible.  Maybe I just think too much.  There have been several woman I have "fallen for" I guess I could say, since leaving Vallaki, and with Magdalena slipping further into the back of my mind I find myself wondering, was I really falling in love or did I just want someone...anyone...to be mine.  No, I did love Magdalena.  Without a doubt.

Serafim would never be able to come to grips with the life I lead.  And we live very different lives.  Like Magdalena, as the days pass, my lust for Sera is fading.  I guess thats all it really was.  She was my 'first' and my heart was on my sleve.

Alexias has a third apprentice, and I have been spending more and more time with her.  Siira is her name and she is like no woman I...or anyone else for that matter...has ever met.  At first I thought she was a fey, because thats what I was told.  I was...still am...totally mesmerised by her.  Fascinated, interested, because she is, because i thought she was, a fey.  Her eyes glittered this amazing rosey pink colour, kind of  like a sunset, only sparkling, hey skin is this unreal shade of blue...maybe purple...her hair though, whiter than snow.  I was told eventually about her race, the dark elves, and about all the cruel and disgusting things they were famous for.  I dont know why I have never heard stories or read about them If they are so terrible, so I only guess dark elves are an outlander race.  One thing I know about Siira, Is that she is none of those hateful things.

She has this odd way of speaking.  Sometimes she stutters, and her voice is kind of soft but...flat toned.  Its like, she rarely shows emotion on her face, and talks very flatly.  She is definitly not heartless though.  She has trouble understanding the words I choose when Im speaking.  When I was speaking to her about the 'heart', as in, feelings and such, she thought I was talking about the physical muscle inside our chests that pumps blood through our bodies.  I had no Idea what she was talking about!  I will need to keep in mind to be more direct I guess.

I feel...so at ease around her though.  She is different.  Very different.  But talking with her and understanding her just seems to feel more relaxed and less frustrating than almost every woman ive met thus far.  I kissed her.  She is not only and elf, but a dark elf, and I, Bela the Barovian, kissed her.  I should not have.  But Siira, although she responded in kind...did not do what other woman would do.  She didnt push me away, or melt intomy arms or uncomfortably shuffle her feet.  She smiled.  She said she liked me, and she said that, although she would like to see me again soon, that I should think about what I really want, and that Im having all these problems because I give my heart away too easily.  Of all the people I know, Siira, the monotonous dark elf, has made more sense than anyone.  So I look at myself...

I cannot wait to see her again, but after thinking on what she said, It is best for the whole of the bloody Core, If I just take my time and enjoy getting to know her.  I really have changed.  Siira said one of the things she liked about me was, I was a native that didnt want to kill her.  Dark elf, caliban, hin, outlanders, barovians... All of them, every single soul, Is just as capable of being cruel and evil as they are capable being just and kind.  Even me.  Even Siira.  But im expected to hate other races, because I am Barovian.  I guess, being born able to weave the arcane has a way of opening your mind.  Today, I dont feel so biased towards anyone really... Well, I still dont trust the Red Vardo, the Garda, or Gundarakites... But races are a different story.  Except Gundarakites.  I have not met a nice one to this day, I think.  Who knows?  Time might prove me wrong.

I heard some good news today.  Krow the druid challenged Van again... This time, he recovered Van's sword on defeating him... and destroyed it... From what I know It may have been Vincents sword.  If it wasnt...I hope it was one just as evil.  Vanquist is changing and it really saddens me.  He was my Brother.  What saddens me more is that, with this sword gone, he hasnt changed back to his old self.  What ever mark that sword left, is there to stay...  Find peace brother.  Remember your virtue, for the Core, Hala, and Miuo...

[Axra]

The quiet days of winter are unpleasant for many.  And for many, the days are spent idly trying to stay warm and fed.  With nothing else to do, your mind wanders.  Thoughts of the past depress and entertain, thoughts of the future inspire hope and despair, but over thinking is also the undoing of many.  Times like these easily make one lose sight of whats important.  Nothing is more important to Bela, than friends and happiness.

And so the tome reads...

Twice I have heard now, from Amelia and Siira, that I should focus more on the present and less on the irrelevance of the past and uncertainty of the future.  It seems that with the life I have chosen to lead, the ideal of one day living a normal life where I wouldnt have to worry about the nightmares of barovian society is all but diminished.  I asked Siira if she had anything she was aiming for, anything she wanted to achieve.  She doesnt.  Her focus is on livingin, enjoying...and surviving...the present.  It seems like she has accepted that she is fated to live life forever hiding, in fear for her life.  I admire her courage and at the same time it breaks my heart knowing shes been forced to accept such a fate.  It has forced me to look at my own situation though, and, Im not so different to her.  I have no home and live a day at a time, surviving and learning about myself.  Ive often wondered and fantasised about where I would like to be in the future, and the reality is it will likely be unreachable because of what I am.  Forever, I will be hiding my abilities, fearful that oneday they may be the death of me.  Its sad to think about.  But now, in the present, I am happy, and I am free.

My friend, or 'associate' as she calls me, Amelia has begun working for the Vardo.  I think the Vardo are a pack of low-life criminals and I was upset to findout she had chosen to work for them.  She thinks otherwise, when I told her my story of why I hated them so, she said that was something that happened in the past.  I didn't care.  And even went so far as to judge her for it.  I was really mad.  It was made clear to me though...just how 'barovian' I was being...to be able to so quickly resent her for her affiliation.  In spite of our past and companionship, I really did just reject her.  All I saw was just another Vardo to buy things from.  And like many times before, I regreted it.  She was still my friend wether she says so or not.  And I know in my heart, she would not do anything...'moraly questionable'.  She did say that she was a mage, and will always put those in her circle first.  I should of respected that.  So I appologised.  And learned a powerful lesson.

In this land I think it pays to hold onto your friends.  Sometimes Its hard though.  Zosia is upset, she is unhappy, and confused.  She is in love, again, and she can not be with the man she wants, all the while she is with some other man.  Its a mixture for tragedy, but she is close to me so I sympathised.  Zosia came and confided in me, and said she was not sleeping.  I thought well, Amelia can brew tonics and potions and may know how to help her sleep better.  And she did.  Zosia did not appreciate it one bit!  I didn't tell Amelia anything, except she had trouble sleeping!  I appologised to Zosia for trying to bloody help, and shes still mad at me!  Woman dont like men trying to help them unless asked or so someone told me.  It makes no sense!  I dont know how long shes going to stay mad for, but its driving me nuts.  I will never understand women.

Siira is still nothing but a joy to be around.  With the way she talks and expresses things, anyone would think she would be difficult to understand or interpret.  Sometimes I cant decide if shes telling a joke or not but, aside from that, she is so easy for me to talk to, not to mention playful.  Shes an inspiration to me, because inspite of her being hated by most for being a dark elf and using magic, she is really positive and funloving.  In these lands, people like her, are so few and very hard to find.  To think most will not see this in her, just because she is a dark elf.  At least she has Alexias, Amelia, and me, and I know that neither of us would let harm come to her.

[Axra]

Frowning, he reads through the pages of the tome, no longer recognizing the author named Bela Dragomir.  Shaking his head, he reflects on the past of this man.  What he wanted, believed in, felt, and knew back then.  Bela Dragomir had not written in here for some time now.  Much has happened.  In a quiet corner of the Red Vardo Services, the man with the tome dips his quill, and continues to write once again.
 
And so the tome reads...
 
I said I can not trust the Vardo.  That they are thieves and criminals, yet here I am.  A guest at their headquarters, which maybe the safest place in Barovia.  Ironically, my view of them has changed dramatically.
 
I don't know how I can write about all that's happened in the past weeks...
 
Ive been thinking about how the situation with the twin necromancers has evolved.  It started with them antagonizing Zosia.  Then one of them crossed our path east of Vallaki.  There was only Zosia and I traveling together.  It was then I discovered just how bitter and cruel this woman was... She would have killed us without remorse, in fact, I think she would have taken pleasure in it.  These woman wanted something with Zosia, due to her relationship with their 'Lord', a man named Jadow.  On the road, I was forced to fight her, although I knew I could never win.  I...Wanted to protect Zosia from them....Hell, what a stupid idea.
 
Zosia and I barely talk.  She would side with Jadow, in spite of her 'friends' being in danger.  In a sick way its funny.  You try to...what would I call it...'help' someone...yet the only outcome is losing friends, making enemies, and falling asleep with a headache.  In hindsight, its been a heavy fault of mine... I can see its happened more than once in my past.
 
The twin left me a note.  I showed it to Alexias, and she hunted the twins with a fury no one would choose to face alone.
 
Last week, she caught them.  Amelia found me and bought me to where Alexias was watching them.  As far as I know, they were interrogated, then, Alexias tried to force the twin whom faught me to make an apology by....kissing my boot...
Castra and Camay, are their names.  They seethed evil, hatred, and vengeance.  The only way this could end was death.  They had to die.
 
As night fell, and the garda retired for the night...The cemetery behind the Morninglord Sanctuary became a bloody battleground, wrought with fire and destruction.  The ground shook with an explosive force of arcane energy.  The sky lit up, cries of anguish were called out through the night...The twins were defeated.
 
Alas...not for ever.  It seems now, they are the hunters, and their lord named Jadow is just as eager to see our corpses lay still.  Siira was not mentioned as one of the people they were hunting.  I pray to Hala...and Mystra...That she stays safe.
 
I am afraid.  But somehow...this time....its different.  When we defeated the twins...there was a witness.  We were becoming labled as witches and murderers.  I panicked.  And I ran.  Like a coward, I left everything behind and traveled to Port-a-Lucine.  I was ashamed of myself...Did they mean so little to me?  No.  Vardo or not, Amelia and Alexias were two of the only people I could trust.  I returned to Vallaki.
 
It was then I found the courage to face adversity no matter the cost.  Beset by demon neuri in a cave north-west of Vallaki, a group of us fought against an enemy familiar to us all, but somehow ten-fold more diabolical.  It is nothing short of a miracle that we all made it out alive.  Things happened...more gruesome than I could have ever imagined... Amelia, my friend, It was too much for her to handle.  She was always so serious and nearly unflinching about anything in the past time i have known her.  Now she was on the brink of madness.  Mindless, screaming, panicking... She scared me but I did what I thought I had to do... I fought her, shook her, restrained her, slapped her....anything I could think of to make her come right.  Eventually, she succumbed to exhaustion and came level.  Now more than ever determined to see this through and save those she left behind.... Who knows what would have happened to her, or her friends, had I not been there to stop her running.  It was then, I knew I couldn't run away ever again.  That night changed us all..
 
Something will happen.  I don't know what.  Only this time I will stand firm no matter the cost.  I know now who my friends are, and I will not leave them to face this alone.  Just as I know they wouldn't leave me.  We are in this together.

[Axra]

Tears break free from his tired eyes as he stares at in horror at the silvered mirror.  His shirtless body, a canvas of suffering and pain.  Forever a reminder of what Bela did to him.  Scabs fight to form over the seared etchings on his skin, desperate to heal him, but denied by the cruelty left by fire and steel.  Fire and steel traced over his body, tearing open his flesh and leaving a bloody wound in its wake resembling a flaring sun.  The fire and steel adorned the sun with words of an unfamiliar tongue...  Over and over again, the words, "My Putrus" encircle...

The tome of B.Dragomir waits silently for the friend it once knew to raise a quill to its paper, and write his next piece.  Only it no longer belongs to him, for the man known as B.Dragomir is dead.

An epic battle fought between every emotion rages inside his mind.  He stands in the center of the chaos, confused, with no idea who to turn to.  Who are his friends and who are his enemies?  Should he side with hope when despair is clearly winning?  Should he turn to compassion while it is being consumed by hatred?  All he can do is watch on as the battlefield becomes a storm of destruction and terror...

And so the tome stays closed...

[Axra]

Still a struggle, Bela fights to come to grips with the man he was and the man he is becoming.  All the while, fearing he could end up someone completely different.  The post torture effect on his mind drove him to near insanity.  With the help of the friends he thought would abandon him, he has finally begun to find some measure of clarity, and recognize that he is, and always will be, Bela Dragomir.

And so the tome reads...

This week past...theres been alot going on in my mind.  The twins, Camay and Castra had me kidnapped...and they branded me with a dagger they called 'Athame'.  After it was done...I lay in the grass out in the middle of nowhere in a sticky pool of my own blood and...All I could feel inside was fear and hate.  Most of all, hate for myself.  I hated who I used to be, and blamed myself for everything that happened.

The one good thing that has come from this, is that I know my friends.  I was so confused and...angry.  My friends, the people whom I thought would abandon me, stood by me and inspite of all my rage and emotional hate.  They never gave up.  I think...If I didnt have their support....I would have become someone else.  Maybe it is what the twins wanted to happen.  They gave me a name, Putrus, thats the name of the man I could of become.

A part of me has still changed.  There used to be a part of me who was...more empathic towards people.  It isnt there anymore.  No matter how hard I try to find the Bela I used to be, It just doesnt feel natural anymore.  My temper has become short.  I hope that will change in time.  And, it scares me sometimes but, I have the desire to see certain people suffer.  I cant drive my mind away from it.  I want them dead and I want them to feel pain.

This is anguish!  My friends have told me of their scars, their troubles and their hardships, and they have all come out of it stronger!  Im so confused and I feel like for me, the opposite is happening.  I want to be a good man.  I want to become something worthwhile after all of this.

I decided a few days ago, that I would change the way I live.  So now, I live at the Broken Bell Tavern, with Eliza.  I thought about taking a job here but It would probably be too dangerous.  For everyone else, I mean.  Between my temper and the people who still wish me dead, Its best I keep a low profile.  Eliza has become my closest friend.  Right now, she means everything to me and I would die before letting harm come to her.  Her heart is big and has never pushed me away, inspite of my mistakes, and like me, she was born with the ability to weave.  I dont think anyone else knows this.  I will be helping her from now on.  I'll do what ever jobs she needs me to do for the tavern, and I'll help her when she decides to venture out as Jade.

I still feel indifferent about going out in disguise.  I bought this costume, red and grey and well...bright.  If it wasnt for the helmet covering my face, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it.  But...I doubt anyone who knows me will think It is me in disguise...And I guess thats the whole point.  Still...I feel ridiculous.  Eliza likes it, she gave me-...it, the name Garnet.  This way I can venture out and use my power without anyone knowing it is Bela.  The same reson why Eliza goes out as Jade.  I doubt some people could so easily forget about my involvement with magic however.

I havent seen Alexias in some days now.  Amelia was arrested for assaulting someone with magic... I was so wild when she was punished, It took every ounce of will not to fire spells at the garda punishing her.  She seemed to....enjoy it.  Since then...Amelia hasnt been the same.  I do worry about her, but as she said, it will pass.  Shes a strong woman.  I just hope she isnt trying too hard to hold back her feelings.  I never would of thought of her as one to ever show weakness, but that night in the tower when she dominated my mind...I felt something in her.  She is a kind and caring person, full or heart, and concealed beneath a shell of stone.  Now I feel I understand her.  Siira...was the first to make me smile, since I was tortured.  She was unhappy for a long time before and when I tried to help...she set me on fire... She seems well now though.  Her old self.  And...more interested in my affections...  Maybe this is how Serafim felt... just being with someone for the sake of enjoyment... no attatchments, no complications.  In any case, Its great to see Siira happy again.

Still so much goes on.  Most days I wake up and im not sure exactly who I am.  I am Bela Dragomir, but not the Bela I remember.

[Axra]

What happened?  What happened exactly?  His eyes burned as they were flooded with light, the ceiling of a familiar building imprinting his memory.  A fey stood over him, smiling. His face was so placid.  Who was he? 

Bela Dragomir awoke in the Morning Lord Temple, surrounded by strangers.  Not knowing how long he had been asleep or dead, nor how he came to be in that state.

Over a year had passed.  Much had changed...

And so the tome reads...

Its been so long since i wrote anything in here.   And its been a while since that fey, Lucadia was his name, found and bought me back.  I am truely happy to be alive, yet so much I have missed. 

Many whom i once knew, are alive and well.  Most have changed.  Krow, once a ezrite, has possibly lost his mind.  Serafim no longer hides her gift, she too is no longer an ezrite.  Her face is scared and hardened.  She greeted me warmly though, I think we could be friends.  Zosia Corwin...she has barely changed at all.  She still makes me laugh.

And Eliza, my heart.  Our reunion was sad.  I never met Inari, but she touched the lives of many i knew.  The sorrow I felt for you and your friends bit deep.

I thought life might become steady when i awoke.  On Seras suggestion i joined the garda, of all things.  Then along came the cult, and the plague.  It was about now when Eliza returned to my life.

I fought the cult under the alias of Garnet, instead of fighting with the garda as they planned.  Tch.  What would I do with a halberd anyway?  I was united with her once again.  Together we fought.  Did we win?  Not in my mind.  Eliza caught the plague and volunteered to be set in stone to prevent contamination.  A week later and here we are.  She is back in flesh, and we stay at the mages retreat high in the Baratak mountains so she can recover.

She recovers so fast, and is still every bit as amazing as i remember her.  Learning of her being a neuri came as a shock at first, but it changed nothing.

Thanks to some new friends, i worked up the courage to tell her i loved her, and that i want to be hers, and she mine.  It was well recieved.  I owe Vick and Rhian a debt for that.

The Garda was not the place for me.  I left to aid Eliza, and by her side I'll stay.

[Axra]

The winds are fierce.  Bone chilling gales tear across the Baratak mountains forcing man,  and beast alike to seek shelter.  Within the walls of the tower though, the days and nights were warm, and peaceful.  Sitting at the bedside of his love, Bela smiles, and begins to write...

And so the tome reads...

My Eliza.  She seems so serene and at peace when she sleeps.  She will be better soon.  Very soon.

I didn't want to leave her side yesterday but we were low on fresh fruit and vegetables.  I am glad i returned to Vallaki though.  It gave me a chance to spend a little time getting to know Rhian.  She is a complex woman.  A good heart raised to follow a dark path, and now for the first time is truely discovering herself inside, and following her heart.

An organisation of vampire hunters.  This is her goal.  She has a unique way of approaching it however.  Where many have failed i believe this can succeed.

Rhian told me what happened to Alexi...My former teacher.  She...was bitten, as I feared.  Turned by a vampire named Camila.  I feel sadness for Michael.  He hasn't taken it as well as it would first seem.  Alexi...she wears a different name now.  Xietta .  I should feel hate.  Vengfulness.  But all i feel is sadness and empathy.  Poor Alexi.

I promised her, as her student, that if she turned, I would kill her.  Bring her rest.  Again, this i promise.

Vanatorii de Vampir.  Vampire Hunters, as spoken in common.  It might be a name Rhian likes.  For now though, we prepare.

I learned some disturbing news about Elizas sister... Inari arose, or maybe was taken, from her grave.  Like Alexi, robbed of her rest.  Rhian recognised her though, and she is no longer human.  When Eliza learns of this, i dont think she will take it well.

Right now though, I enjoy the little peace i can.  

[Axra]

The plague has passed.  The soul of Inari is at rest.  The Tengu is slain.  New friendships and alliances are formed, and old friendships fragment. 

The bunk Bela lays in, the one above Elizas, is comfortable enough.  Not that it would matter.  Joining the Wayfarers Kinship was the right decision.  It had been a long time since he last wrote, however.

And so the tome reads…

When I was chasing that sword, I was scared. About many things.  My friends seeking to murder Frenar to take it back…Frenar killing my friends in defence…Then Eliza ended up with the sword.  It would have been fine if I didn’t think it was cursed.  Sorry cousin, but part of me wishes I never believed you.  I guess my memories of Vans corruption were still fresh.

I understand why Rhian and Eliza had to create a lie about my love dominating Rhian to steal the sword, it must have been tough for them both.  Yet part of me feels stupid for being fooled, part of me is angry at Rhian for trying to convince me what a horrible person Eliza was, then another part of me is happy that my faith in Eliza was not wasted, and that they are both safe.  Still, I think it cost Rhian and me a friendship.  I got to learn some composure when im defending someone vocally.  The last time I got so fired up, I ended up being tortured by a pair of psychotic red haired witches.  Rhian accepted my apology for what I said.  But things between us wont be the same.  I guess we misunderstand one another all too often.

Its in the past now, and everyone is safe.

I took Eliza to the hot spring Lucadia showed me.  My heart, It must have been so hard for you to open up like that.  But in spite of your past, your trauma, you let your guard down for me.  Proposing to you, and hearing you say yes, was the happiest moment of my life.

I convinced her to continue working on the Legacy of Ravenia.  It’s a cause I’ve come to believe in.  Together I hope we can build it into something that can really make a difference.  I can already think of a few Barovians who could contribute well to this cause.  Not too sure about how I can be secretive about it though.

Nearly have enough gold to buy Elizas engagement ring.  Why do emeralds have to be so bloody expensive.

[Axra]

Bela couldnt help but feel that Eliza should of sat this one out. But the rat neuri were from Barovia...Well, two of them were at least.

The arguement they had earlier bothered him.  Never the less, he had a debt to pay, so he returned to Barovia.  Hopefully he would meet Ana while he was there.

And so the tome reads...

The ring looks amazing and she loves it.  I still owe Frenar 5000 fang though, so im back in Barovia working while my love hunts neuri in Port.  I know how powerful she is, but am i so much of a liability that I cant be at all there to support her?  Ill return to Port tomorrow anyway.  She cant do it all alone.

Lucadias condition really worries me.  I know he has some curse or sickness or something, so thats probably why no one can talk him out of his "mucky" mood.  I have my entire future to thank him for though.  I  owe him a lot. There has to be something that can be done to fix or cure him.  Im going to ask Ana.  This stuff is beyond my understanding.

I'm happy for Rhian.  She seems pretty happy in Port.  We are on good terms,  but apparently Frenar nearly killed her after I told him about Rhian and Elizas scheme.  Metaphorically speaking. We all came out of it in once piece though.  Eliza might scold me though if I keep saying that word I picked up from Rhian.  Bloody Rhian.

I finally got an outfit tailored to enhance my powers.   It was expensive,  but it's a deep red,  which I think looks bloody great.   Red like a Garnet.

[Axra]

His love,  Eliza,  was dead.  Murdered by a common lowlife.   Bela couldnt help but feel responsible, after all it was her ring the mad thief wanted.

Sorceress, enchantress, guardian, teacher, friend, and lover.   She touched so many lives in such a positive way, yet in spite of her strength,  power, influence, and abilities,  she was simply murdered by a hungry sick thief.

Bela lay on his bunk,  staring at the ceiling.  Just days ago,  his love would rest on the bunk beneath him.  He still could not believe she was gone.

At last he finished reading her journal. Closing the book and holding it to his chest, he weeps, until he finally drifts off to sleep.

And so the tome reads...

My heart... You're really gone. I don't  want to believe it. When I wake up, I find myself just staring at the ceiling for hours. Life is so much harder to face without you.

Oh Eliza...  I want to think you would hate me for giving you that ring... The one that got you killed...  Yet, in my heart, I know you could never be like that. It was one of the reasons I loved you so so much.  I miss you my love.  You taught me happiness, kindness, love, and gave me a strength no amount of training could ever match.  I miss you so much, sometimes I wish the world would end,  so I could feel your embrace once more.

You made me promise that... If you were to die... I would  live on.  And I will. I have so much to do.

My heart... I will continue your work... The Legacy of Ravenia falls to me now.   I will not let your death be an end to the cause you struggled for.  With your strength and guidance, I will realise the dream we once shared.

My strength has returned finally. Although my skin is still pale and I... have taken a liking to rare cooked red meat... It tastes like nothing I've ever experienced. It's the blood...  Lucadia , or Violet as you named him in your journal love,  and Rhian believe it's due to the vampire blood I consumed.   In truth... I don't even remember what it was I drank...  It was so dark.   It did smell of iron though.  Lucadia wants to help me cleanse this from my body.   He gave me a vial of holy water to drink.   I've been too afraid to open it.  I'm sorry, my heart... I hope I haven't made a huge mistake.

I met a girl from my child hood. We would play together a lot as children, yet we were both very closed about our home lives. Now I know why.  Like me she was scared. And like me, she was born with a gift. 

She is learning to control her fear and accept what she has as a gift.  I have... taken her as a student...  Could you believe it love?  Me,  a teacher? It wasn't so long ago I was an apprentice myself... I hope I'm worthy. I hope I don't fail her.

I have so much to do,  Eliza. I carry your love and strength with me always.

I'll never know what that dream was about...

[Axra]

Eliza was free.  From the top of mount Baratak, her ashes were spread.  She was free to soar over the land she loved just one last time.  With cold tears,  Bela said his final good bye.   He knew in his heart though, that he could never love another like he loved Eliza.

With his curse cured and his love at rest, it was time to return to work.

And so the tome reads...

It has been little more than a week since you left us my heart. It's hard to imagine now a morning where I don't see you face and long for your  touch once more. I miss you.

With Adelines help,  we were able to cure my curse.  My thirst for blood...  I cannot believe that I drank from her.  It was a hard journey.  We had to  travel far to locate a rare plant.  Bloodfern.  If Adeline wasn't with me,  I would of succumbed.  She tried to take me again as we were returning  to the temple.   The vampire.  Adeline knows her.   I will have to ask he about that.

I have made an alliance with Eugen. Just as Eliza did. I took a risk to approach him without disguise in the middle of the night.  Now me and my abilities are known to him.  For the better.

Serafim was captured by the mad man Lacusta.  With Mihas' help,  we found her.  She was not in a good way.  Now I'm working with the Garda to finally bring a stop to his madness.

Adeline.  She said she loved me....  I'm so confused.  When can I truly move on?  When is it right to give my heart to another?  Adeline amazes me,  but I don't know if I will be able to return her feelings.   Eliza,  I miss you.   I wish I had answers...

[Axra]

Bela had finally met the vampire Xietta.  She was a creature lost to the darkness that plagued this land,  but inside that living dead husk, Belas former teacher cried out for release.  Alexias.  For a moment,  she spoke to him.   He felt her beneath the taint of this monster, and she cried in suffering.  Until she was at peace,  Bela could not help but mourn for her... And the existence of Xietta.  Alexias believed that she was abandoned.  That all whom she knew had failed her.  But Bela would keep his promise.  Alexias would find peace.

And so the tome reads...

The reunion with Alexias wasn't what I expected. Then again I didn't really know what to expect. It was futile to try and take her, but damn me if I ever let another vampire take my blood without a fight. I don't care if she used to be my teacher. I used every drop of strength and power I had and from behind the smoke and fire she walked out unscathed.  Her strength is unbelievable.

Alexias exists within Xietta.   Maybe she helped me, as Xietta, as part of some twisted agenda.  Maybe Alexias,  somewhere inside,  wished for me to live.  Xietta knows my goal.  She knows the promise I made.   Yet inside her,  Alexias cries to be released.  It saddens me deeply,  Xiettas existence.  It's like I'm mourning, and until Alexi is at peace,  I cannot move on.

For a moment,  she spoke to me.  My old teacher in a torment of despair and suffering.  I have to figure out how to end her.  Adeline,  myself,  Kraehe,  Michael,  Rhian... I'll need all the help I can get...  Maybe Alexias could help us somehow.

I still miss you and love you Eliza.   But I have to move on.   I just... I feel guilty.  I feel like I betray you for loving Adeline.  But she needs me now.   And I will never let her go.  That mistake is not worth making more than once in a lifetime.  Eliza, allow me to watch over her,  protect her and love her... Our lives will never be easy,  but at each other's side, we will fight, live, love, and together be happy.   Just as we were.

Lacusta has been sighted in Vallaki.  He has the nerve to show his face in public it seems.  I met an acquaintance oh his.   A Fourth Sect outlander witch.  A fourth sect witch.  She is... Possibly the only rational and sane member of the fourth I have ever met.  We got to talking only... I slipped up. I dropped too many pieces of information about my operation.  Trivial pieces,  but pieces none the less.   However,  she told me that she would never side with fellow church members if they are guilty of harming the innocent,  and she was planning to leave the church, acknowledging it's corruption.  I made her swear on her faith not to reveal anything I say to her to others.  I believe her exact words were,  "By Ezra,  my she strike me down if I betray you".   Then,  I told her of Lacusta atrocity.  She was absolutely shocked.   I believe I may have an ally of the fourth.  I hope I haven't made a huge mistake.

The rat pack are becoming more dangerous.  Any day they could enter Barovia.  I have to be prepared.   Ryl'tars plan, although an extremely risky one,  could work.   It frightens the iadul out of me though.  Revive Valdan,  control him somehow using his 'truename',  and use him to fight Rica... Madness.  Or brilliance?  Perhaps his truename could be used to reform him to a life of good, rather than being a puppet.  The other part of his plan worried me the most.  Reform the cult of Nerull in Port Au Lucien,  and turn them against the rat pack.  Out of some strange kind of respect for Eliza,  he wouldn't have them return to Barovia.  The destruction they left behind last time though... Inari, Eliza, Adeline... There is no chance so long as I live that I would let that happen.   The cult will not reunite.

[Axra]

An old friend, a brother, returns from the grave.  Only he was never really dead.  Bela was happy that Vanquist was alive and well, and even happier that he has been seeking redemption for his past.  The fall of his Halite brother and sister is a story some have never forgotten.

And so the tome reads...

The last thing I remembered of Van, was himself and Miuo succumbing to the corruption of necromancy and dark magics.  I thought they were both killed.  After all that, Van still lives.  I remember him falling to darkness.  He became ruthless.  Cruel.  He could justify things like murder and pain with so much ease.  I guess then, I wanted to get away from them.  I didn't want to fight them, or stop them.  I just wanted to stick with Alexi and carry on with life.  If I could go back, I dont know what I could have done differently.

But he has returned. Said he had been serving a penance in Dementlieu for the last year.  He would of had a lot to atone for after Miuos death.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't happy to see him.  It's good to have my brother back, even if im not the Halite he knew me to be.

He still has that sword, only he doesnt weild it anymore.  That sword bloody scares me.  I am a little puzzled though, because I thought Vincents sword was claimed from Van, and was passed on to Alexi to destroy.  Maybe it was a different one, maybe Van had more than one.  He wishes for me to seek a way to destroy it.  I dont think he trusts himself to carry it anymore, and I think thats probably for the best.

He gave me a bag of scrolls and wands of necromancy that previously belonged to Miuo.  Over fourty scrolls intended to inflict disease,    drain life, and raise undead.  He had been carrying these all this time?  What was Miuo thinking...  Van said he could never be seen carrying such things, nor be seen selling or trading them. He trusts me to do the right thing with them though.  So along with his sword, I have the task of learning how to destroy these things.

It seems since then I have started a bit of a collection.  It is making me a little nervous knowing that I am carrying with me so many evil bloody items, and If I was to fall... I dont want to think about it.  Even so, I think I will continue to collect items of necromancy, for when I finally learn how to destroy them.

Hopefully Ana can guide me on this.  She is the most knowledgable wizard I know.  If she can't... I may have to ask my former teacher.  Asking Xietta would be a huge risk.  She would almost certainly try to drain me again.  But what else would she want?  What else would she do?  I shouldn't go alone, but...would I risk anyone elses life?

I have been thinking about having a book written in memory of Eliza.  What she did for Barovia should be remembered through history.  I should speak with Constance, she said she is a writer. I dont know how she would handle some of what Eliza knew though..

[Axra]

Confused and weightless...he stumbles through the streets of the Village.

His eyes are defiant.  Hes going to die, but he will not submit to a creature as filthy as him.  He stares him in the eyes, fire burning in his soul.  He feels hate... Oh how he hates him.  Pain...the back of his heels severed and bleeding.  His ribs throbbing, possibly broken. His nipple stings. Was it still there?  Peace...He would be with Eliza.  Wouldn't he? Sorrow...Adeline.  He wished he never left her side.  Regret...He would die having lost the trust of one of his closest friends, Zosia.  Failure...Eugen, Serafim, Nelithia...Eliza...Everyone.  Betrayal...He knew better. Yet he followed.  The End...One blow against his skull....Two blows....Three... ... ... ...Why did he stop?  Confusion...He can't be walking.  He just cant.

His feet dragged through the village.  They made no sound. Disturbed no dust.  Over and over, he relived his last terrifying moments.  But why was he here?  Why could he move? He longed for release, to be with his love, soaring across Barovia.  But his feet continued to drag...Hapless moanings and thoughts of a voiceless victim, repeating over and over..