Musings of a Lost Apprentice

[Baron Saturday]

A single candle flickers in the small room, casting a hulking and monstrous shadow on the wall, a twitching creature of unnatural form. Yet it springs from a young woman, hunched over a table bearing nothing but ink, quill, and a small leather-bound book. The woman's hand moves steadily across the page, unceasing, as though the words she writes are already engraved upon her mind, and she needs only to copy them down. The words transfer themselves neatly to the page, small and legible, almost a scribe's hand.

Nine long months have I fought this. My Lady taught that keeping a journal was dangerous for those such as we, who deal in secrets and half-truths. Unwise. But also irresistible. Perhaps it is the opportunity to tell the full truth? But that I shall not do. I must assume these words will at some point be read by someone other than myself. You. You are my enemy, and I will lie to you, trick you, bore you, do everything within my power to deceive you. And just when you are ready to throw me away, I shall reveal some small truth. I will draw you back to me.

So. Nine months since the Mists stole me from my home. The moment becomes difficult to remember.  Perhaps I shall not bother. Simpler to focus on what is.

I have done well under my new Lady. I will call her that here, at least. A small act of rebellion upon my part? I do not know. What I do know is that she is more flawed than my first lady. She does not see the deeper meanings, or perhaps she simply does not reveal them. Still, she is driven, and she holds her beliefs strongly. There is much I shall learn from her. And in time, perhaps I may teach her as well.

I have continued my mental and physical disciplines here, though it is more difficult without an instructor. I keep to the basic advice of my first Lady: All things may be thought of as tools. The task of one who seeks perfection, then, is to improve the tools given to her. It sounds much simpler than it is, and often I am frustrated as I seek to understand the mysteries of my own flesh and blood. For inspiration, I turn to the world around me. I shall record here the disciplines and training methods I have devised, that I may one day pass them on to my own students.

[Baron Saturday]

First Lesson: Dance of the Falling Leaf

An easy lesson to master: I had already studied it before arriving in Barovia. Observe a leaf as it drops. It floats on the air, twitching and dodging. Reach for it, and watch it evade your hand. Currents in the wind warn the leaf of your attack, and so it avoids it. Close your eyes and learn to read the air, feel its eddies and currents. Let it speak to you. Sit in a closed room, and feel the air press in. Sit outside, and feel it expand infinitely. This is the secret. You must be a leaf on the wind.

Applications of the Dance of the Falling Leaf:
The purpose of this discipline should be blindingly obvious, but if not: It allows those who practice it to avoid physical blows. In a more advanced form the user may even deflect arrows by reading their approach on the wind. This application of the technique is more difficult and demanding, however, as it requires to user to be both skilled in the Dance and in complete control of their movements and reflexes.Finally, once who is learning the Dance may give themselves up to the wind and allow it to lift and carry them, easing and speeding their travels.

The Dance is of almost infinite complexity, so though its basics may be picked up quickly by a skilled apprentice, many years of study will be necessary to fully master it.

[Baron Saturday]

Second Lesson: The Stone Fortress

A more difficult lesson, one that I have yet to fully master, though I am able to apply it. I say it is more difficult because of the concentration and strength of mind that it involves. Take your thoughts and gather them close, into a ball. Now, build a fortress around your inner thoughts. Your fortress is built of inconsequential things - your last meal, the shape and location of your birthmarks, and other such trivialities. Each thought is a stone in the wall of your fortress. They are impenetrable, strong, solid. Like stone. Yet as you do this, the central thoughts must still be able to move or you shall find yourself paralyzed. At first you may find that your fortress has cracks, windows, gates. Accept these things, for they are necessary to allow your inner thoughts the chance to move. Practice this mental process until you can do it in the blink of an eye. Better yet, practice holding the fortress in place for minutes, hours, days. The longer you can hold it and the faster you can build it, the greater your mastery of this discipline.

Applications of the Stone Fortress:
The Stone Fortress is a subtle discipline. It will not harden your skin or strengthen your blows - instead, it allows your mind to resist the influences of others. I have found it particularly useful in dealing with the more subtle Children of the Old Night, those that seek to confuse or control you.

[Baron Saturday]

Third Lesson: The Purifying Flame

This lesson should only be attempted by an apprentice who has begun to master her own breathing and the beating of her heart, and the mental control that the Stone Fortress requires will also be required here, but in a different form. A dangerous lesson, the Purifying Flame involves enhancing the nature of one's own body, convincing part of oneself that its nature is stronger than it truly is. In this case, that part is the blood that runs through each of us. Now, any who have been in battle know how hotly the blood runs as it bursts forth, spattering us. The Purifying Flame seeks to enhance this aspect of blood. First, the apprentice should imagine a flame at the source of blood. This is the natural fire that heats our blood. Now stoke the flame, cause it to flare brighter, yet do not allow it to consume you. Feel the blood grow hotter. Send tendrils of the flame throughout the body, into every reach and corner, carried within your blood. This is the nature of the Purifying Flame: A central fire, ever-burning, that spreads throughout one's body. This discipline is easiest to master in a warm place, where the apprentice may take heat from outside and draw it in. Once the flame is lit, it is merely a matter of not allowing it to go out, and so long as there is blood in your veins, the flame is eternal.

Applications of the Purifying Flame:
The central purpose of this discipline is protection. The purifying flame, once it has become one with your blood, will burn away any natural sickness or disease that threatens you. It is a cleansing force, and a healing one, but be warned that some unnatural diseases may still be able to withstand the fires. I have also experimented with using this discipline to combat the cold of a Barovian winter, but with limited success. For now, I recommend sticking with a warm cloak.

[Baron Saturday]

Fourth Lesson: The Unbroken Stream

This discipline builds upon those that have gone before it. Similar to the Purifying Flames, the Unbroken Stream requires that the learner have a strength of mind to convince their flesh that it is other than flesh. It took me some time to understand this lesson, for few things in nature can be made whole once sundered: Rock is easily split, and wood, and metal. As for air, fire, shadow - these things have no substance and so cannot be split to begin with. Water is the exception. This came to me as I observed the great falls near the Castle: The water there is riven by rocks, and yet flows together again with no sign of its wound. The Unbroken Stream takes the lesson of water and applies it to flesh. The practice of this discipline can cause wounds of the flesh to reform, whole and unblemished. The apprentice should meditate upon a waterfall, or a stream flowing around a rock, or something of the sort. As the water is, so must the flesh be, one and whole.

Applications of the Unbroken Stream:
This need not be restated, however, in keeping with previous form I shall do so regardless. The Unbroken Stream allows one who has learnt it to heal even grievous injuries to an unblemished state. This discipline is very taxing, however, both upon mind an body, and should not be attempted more than once without rest.

[Baron Saturday]

I find myself with a great deal of time on my hands. It is most unpleasant, and unfortunate. My training has stalled - I cannot find the key to unlock the next discipline, and there are so few tests of martial skill here in Port that I find myself barely able to practice those disciplines I have begun to master. I find that I spend my days reading the in Bibliotheque Ombragee, owned by a monsieur Marcel. It is an agreeable place, and he is an agreeable man. But this must soon end... there are now few books within his collection that I have not read. Few books of consequence, at least. I discount the tales of the elven bard Zecht, for obvious reasons. Perhaps I shall pay a visit to the Grande Bibliotheque soon, though I am somewhat overwhelmed by its vastness.

Now we come upon the difficulty I foresaw when I started writing here, my reader. How much do I dare reveal to you? Let me think.

Caterina is no Master. This am am certain of. There is much I can learn from her, yes, but the same can be said of any. She will not show me the path to the higher mysteries, either because she herself does not understand them, or simply because her styles and mine are incompatible.

She is formidable, nonetheless.

There is much confusion within our ranks, by which I mean that I am greatly confused. I must not show it. My first Mistress taught that half of one power comes from what others perceive one's power to be.

I believe that we are afraid. I shall not say what of.

I need a true Master.

Patience.

[Baron Saturday]

So. Two years now, and nothing has changed. True, my strength has grown, but what of that? I am a tool, yet there is still no hand to put me to use. But there have been several promising developments of late - two in Port-a-Lucine, ironically enough. Perhaps my time there with Les Chats will prove useful yet! First there is the young artist - he has plans, and interesting connections. I shall attempt to continue my acquaintance with him, and perhaps in time he shall have a task worthy of my skill. And then there is this new organization, this "Family." I have spoken several times with one who I suspect is a member. Some of his words - perhaps he can help me overcome the weakness that has grown in me.

As for the third, I have come across another who practices a self-discipline similar to my own. Her fighting styles are based largely on animals, with great focus on specific form - a sharp contrast to my own, more naturalistic methods. I am curious to see what a combination of these styles results in. She is an outlander, of course, and as such enjoys talking of her past. I am debating how much to discuss of my own - enough to gain her sympathy and trust, but not enough to reveal my true purpose.

The time has come to take a hand in my own future.

Fears receding.