M.M Logbook

[dutchy]

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0MIFHLIzZY[/youtube]

Death does not only knock on your door, but on that of all eventually.


Am a man of secrets a man of deception, most think and assume i am a loudmouth fool glad they think so, cause the ignorant are more easy to fool then those aware.

So many death, i still see most in my nightmare's each live taken i carry with me friend or foe if they deserved it or for the simple fact they where in the way.
The fact i not burst into flames when i enter a holy place such as an ezrite church or those of the morninglord makes me chuckle everytime.
Was once a young fool now i am just a fool with a blade that knows the taste of blood and it sometimes asks for more, but i deny it's thirst or that of my own,it has been faithfull to me it has been loyal it has done everything i wanted to and more when the time was needed, yet wielding it caused me the nightmare's cause wielding a weapon and knowing how to means to kill and only those of a cold heart only those not among the living will not be subjugated to it's long term effects not just this blade but any weapon for that matter.

This page is one of confessions i suppose, my alter my confessions that is what all these pages are, large part of my life on paper of actions taken and mistakes.
Truth is i am a murderer, of course one that works for the country and gets paid for doing what i do but that is just an excuse to justify the blood that is on my hands.
Something odd when you take a life when you have the time to pay attention to it you see the reflection in the victims eyes they know as you do that it is over, you see them think of certain moments by their facial expressions you can make an educated guess on what kind of person you just killed.

When they die with a smile on their face it means they either think that their partner friends or whatever will not let you walk away which often is not the case nor for me anyway, or they knew it would end this way and you faced a foe with no regrets those are often the best fights and kills they die content.

Then there is the tears, those are often ones that did not reach their goal often the spineless ones that did not say no to the person that ordered them to charge they are full of regrets, or these are young ones that simply wished another night with their wives or see their children again.

Then there is the hatefull look the look that they might haunt you if possible, these are often ones that fought for a cause and refuse to die these are also mostly hard ones to kill as they are to stubborn to know when to die, these have no regrets only hatred for you and eyes for the cause.

The oddest ones are the surprised ones, they look at you as if it didn't happen as if it is impossible that they will drop to the ground only to not ever get up again, they just look at you paralysed with disbelieve in the final moments right be for they close their eyes they usually realise what has happend and will happen and you see a mixture of the previous stated  states, and then its over.

By knowing these things you know what you just killed, you know if you killed a truly evil person a truly loyal one and so on, i enjoy those moments of little truths, taking a persons life should not be a joyfull moment but one gets used to it and eventually these things become little joys that is how a murderer looks at these things, does not mean i am a bad man it means i realise what i have done and what the costs where.

There was a time when i had a little intrest a little participation in allot of things that went on in barovia many deaths are on my name direct and indirect, manipulation by what ever means needed for survival is the key to becoming old in a land such as barovia.
The outlander that comes walking in with his and hers morals of their old home will not last, these lands are often harsher then where they where from these lands are cursed we are toys for the darkness we are but puppets for the dark powers that are at work to play with.

We will all have to kill at some point the only questions that remain is will you be able to handle it, and once you started are you able to stop doing it.

These are the truths that those who have survived long enough realise and most deny to accept cause they fear the fall for the dark powers that be.

[dutchy]

When only your life is left to lose and vengeance must be brought you choose the desperate path for a solution.



I have not written here in so long and i see it as a good thing, a dull life means no danger.
But that changed of course,  a messenger came requesting I go to the manor of the burgomistress and report in to help an old friend, did not expect to see the faces I saw when I entered.
Three Ezrites Goran,Fador,Vashin not sure if Vashin was an Ezrite or simply an accomplice, then there was Serafim And the two I least expected to see Eugen and Tredow.
Now for you who found this logbook you know by now how bad the history is with myself and Eugen, he is a brother in arms and shall always be one but we never saw eye to eye later in our careers due to Elton.

So we got informed it was an old vrolock of several decades old, this thing had to die and it had murdered Eugens brother Matai the cripple and a family member of one of the Ezrites, we got into a carriage and went towards Zeidenburg, Tredow was the driver and I will never tell him but even now he still suprises me sometimes with the range of skills he has, meanwhile Eugen informed me this was a last resort and that was why he asked for my aid, seems my aid is seen as a desperate thing these day's.

When we got there they wanted to spread out but I spotted a welcome party, not the kind you wish to say salut to and hug, no this was the kind you draw your sword at charge into and hope to survive, one of the Ezrites said inside the carriage to not underestimate what we where getting into, Serafim Tredow and myself knew full well what we where getting into, the Ezrite that said it and fell as a imortij drove his blade trough his body apparently refused to take heed of his own advice, I always love a bit of irony in these adventures.
We won regrouped and learned a lesson to slowly progress and we did, the cursed Vistani where everywhere and where not happy to see us as was the occasional imortij,at a stream Goran figured he could jump it while we where discussing the use of rope, I still remember a shadow going by into the water down a waterfall, we where all surprised when he stood down below on a sandbank alive not a mistake he would make twice cause he survived I found it funny a man in full armor thinking he could jump it.
Was a lively group it felt a bit like old times.

Then we saw it the cemetery and the mannor, the head stones said Donescu and Eugen was able to inform us that these where the graves of the vrolocks parents, now these graves had a beating from weather and the age I remember the big tree next to it with all these webs in it and the smell of pure rotting flesh the stench was never ending almost vomited but a wet cloth does wonders.
We opened the gate went across a bridge the location if purged of evil would have been actually quite nice, be for us stood two undead guards asking for the password to enter, I couldn't help myself  but stare at the large manor, the Burgomistress would be jealous cause compared to what we where looking at her manor is nothing more then a house in some slum.
Of course we did not know the password and swords where crossed, we got pushed back until and that still makes me wonder Eugen pulled out a differant sword he said later it was Eltons old sword one can only wonder what vraja it is if it worked that well on those things cause the imortij guards went down with ease when he pulled that thing out.
Tredow yelled at us for going around this the wrong way,"I kept my mouth shut long enough now he said"  I whispered in Serafims ear that it took him the whole afternoon she thought it was a new record, to most this behaviour is strange to make a joke while we face something that could if we are not carefull wipe us out, but if you have done these things a few times you begin to use humor as a way to cope with the fact you might die, better then pissing your pants crying for mother cause that's how people die.

Inside the mannor was a mess, but still if purged I could see myself living there, we took out the guards and then we became toy's and prey to the ancient vrolock.
His attention was mostly focused on Eugen taunting him endlessly, later we found out why once we got upstairs the haunted house we got attacked I opened a door and recognised Matai the no longer crippled, immediately I closed the door warned Tredow and Serafim about it to prepare Eugen for this unfair and cruel confrontation.
The Ezrites where cleaned up what was left of the attackers upstairs, it became eary silent like a calm be for a storm  as if you walk in a forrest and suddenly all sound seize to emanate, he opened the room at first Matai was hostile but some of his old memoties returned and a dialogue was possible, I had to turn my face away from this scene cause we all knew what had to happen, but Eugen was not used to dealing with these things Serafim would do it if Eugen did not that was the deal we struck between eachother her he could forgive me he would hate till the end of times.
As more memories came Matai begun to blame his older brother for all the suffering it was more mercyfull to just stab Eugen with a knife at that point cause this was simply trampling on the man's heart and soul, he will not recover from this one not like he usually recovers from hardships as I seen in the past, this scar will never heal.

He finally attacked his former brother the shell that remained while Tredow destroyed the coffin, he did not get time to grief as the ancient vrolock began taunting again after little Matai was put to rest, darkness everywhere, we prepared as best we could suddenly Serafim went missing, he took her she was crying out for help we heared her Eugen rushed down to see where she was.
We found a whole in the wall that led into some sort of jail trei coffins doi brides one of them was strong very strong, we saw Serafim locked behind bars alive and behind another set of bars we saw his coffin.
But to get there we had to go trough a small platoon of imortij that guarded the levers that operate the gates, meanwhile we keep getting attacked by dark horrors I not know the name of.
Then it happend again as I guarded her.

Mihas promise me you will drag him out if there is no solution
Why?
I am dead anyway the Count will hold me for high treason if I fail
Why would you be hung for high treason?
Cause of Darkon
Darkon? that again? *sighs*  that means Tredow and me are in this as well we where there to, and I doubt the Count would like a guard lieutenant to return as a failure.

Then it hit me this was a mission the Count had ordered this vrolocks execution and the house must remain intact as this realisation hit me I also got the joke Tredow made in the carriage about summer homes.
We never left a man behind was not planning to start doing that now, luckily we managed to get to the levers the gates got opened, there is was a coffinmade of some strange material we never seen and some odd red glow behind it, we decided to do the logical thing after we could not harm the coffin, smack the red glowing object.
The coffin became visible the darkness lifted we stood around the coffin swords and stakes ready, we opened it and brought down our vengeance upon the ancient creature his head severed his body received several staked and it had holy water poured down the neck, we stepped back as the body cached fire which also set the coffin on fire.
I remember feeling we accomplished something we all did as I looked around the faces tired but the morale was high mixture of sadness for what Eugen had to go trough and happiness we survived and got rid of this ancient evil the house even felt better not as dark and dangerous.

As we walked back to the carriage I kept thinking about what Serafim said about Darkon, even now that place haunts us we will never be free of it's repercussions.
On the bright side tomorrow I will go by the Folquins and have some dinner Tredow is cooking and Laila won't kill me cause her husband survived and we are a ancient vrolock less in this world.
Oh and why does she keep hugging me she knows I hate to be touched I think she does it on purpose just to repay all the jokes I make along the way.

When there are no options left I suppose the old group is the last line of defence for what must be done and accomplished, but I sure hope the new generation picks up the Pace cause we are getting to old for this.

[dutchy]

Old actions lead to new causes and solutions.



My usual tuesday dinner with the Folquins was fun the little unu is growing up fast, i fear Laila will teach her to hold a blade and play with shadows as she does, thats just what i need a child that is more playfull then Laila with shadows, uncle Mihas will be the target no doubt.....fun dinner at the Folquins but for how long?

Seems Serafim got bit and turned, we decided not to move against her as if anything she is her own greatest foe she will fall trough her own faulths, difference this time we won't be there to catch her.
Pains me in a way, i did promise Grevis to look out for her but it is what it is am nu as young or well connected as i was.

Now the latest problem, the tantrum of the oldest Ionulus child and what a deadly tantrum that is, i have nu seen a power trip like that since Cazucul, the castle gives him some lenience due to the rank of general but he so far made a few mistakes, he firstly holds Vallaki hostage, secondly kicked Eugen out now i nu mind that as much as it is some of the medicine i recieved, buna noapte to my life Eugen, and then there is the latest problem which leaves me to nu other option then to act and that is the old wardog Iorgovan, now Eugen can take care of himself he is nu to old had basicly the same training as me and has tons of contacts still active to use that are nu in a cemetery, the old wardog Iorgovan nu doubt same story but i can nu stand by while he gets the boot he trained me he was my mentor he vouched for me when nu other officer would, i owe him simple as that, nu idea yet what i would do as the Village must nu catch scent what i been doing untill this has blown over, but i am sure Iotgovan counts on it that i show up to aid him, i mean if we are honest it is drilled into me to come running for those who we served with such is the code among the 86th Hykra, nu that we all get along but it is the code of conduct the promise made hardships shared bonds formed, besides i would be a horrible human being if i left my mentor to deal with it on it's own, i am also worried about the Captain of Vallaki i nu saved his life back during the war only to be beheaded by some powertripping whiny weak poor excuse for a guard that claims to be the general, i remember when the trial took place and the general nearly died he was sobbing like a spoiled little brat.

All i can say is beware grey city the slums rat has returned, to set things right with nu doubt the cost of his own career or worse his life.

*A signature is placed beneath this entry*

The pledge of Private Mandruleanu of the 86th Hykra will be fullfilled.

[dutchy]

On my way to Vallaki i began debatting with myself about the loyalty of the soldiers to this country and i came to an intresting awnser.
Outside the country we are loyal to the count and our country we would die to defend it.
Inside our own country our loyalty does not lay with the count nor the country no it lays with those ranks above us often one or two men that inspire the rest, often a captain or a leutenant and one among the middle ranks a corporal.

Thinking about this concludes it is not odd that a region as Vallaki takes up arms against the Wachters, as both wish to be larger and stronger, cause what do powerfull men do when there are no wars to fight?
They seek one.

So far only the Drain has proven usefull, was suprised at the current leader of the drain this Skinny seems more brains then muscle, still dissposable if needed but more usefull alive then dead.
Now comes the most odd part either i am doing this to carefull as my pressence hasn't been noticed in and around Vallaki yet but i have no traces on Eugen yet or Iorgovan, now Iorgovan is a hard one to track what i know is what he teached me so no doubt he has some tricks left up that grey sleeve of his but Eugen.....when it comes to these things honestly not the brigthest of the bunch it is a bit insulting i havn't found a single trace YET.
But i am doing it differently this time, no charging in no beating out information no i am playing the waiting game this time, blend in and in and out of buildings as quick as possible with no steady place of return.
Hope it gives some results, seems getting older has it's merits now we shall see if that works for me.

[dutchy]

To try is to fail.
To fail is to try.

Somebody failed.
Was it me?
Was it Iorgovan?
Was it Eugen?

No it wasn’t me, I was given “orders”, retrieve Orlov backup would be none.
Sound familiar, The one reading this logbook must see the same pattern as I have else you have learned nothing from the pages that are in front of your eyes.

Indeed, I was set up for another failure another let’s blame the scapegoat, this time I did not participate in the game I must admid I did want to free Orlov cause of the false sense of loyalty I still hold to my old comrads, but let’s be honest every action I would have taken would have been the wrong one, there was no scenario that got me out of that ordeal save and sound, except one.
Except the one where there would have been actual backup where Eugen AND Iorgovan would have participated, we know that place on the back of our hands blindfolded and gagged we would still have known what to do, but Eugen remained hidden, and now has not been seen rumor is he got killed, his wife was found with a rope around her neck, as always I like to assume and with that said I assume Eugen met his end and his body disposed off like so many of those that I once shared uniform with.

So with that in mind I put the blame on the one who planned, and I add planned poorly and that is Gregori Iorgovan, the man who has done great things and had the potential for more but simply fails to use his chess pieces with minimal losses, as always he survived, after all the game can only be won if the king still stands I suppose.

So here I sit writing another page between my guard shift and my lamplighter duty, the black sheep the unlucky token of the former Vallaki guards, what those guards will never add to the list of insults is survivor, Iorgovan always wished me to pick up on his tricks, well everybody is dead and I am patrolling a sad town under the shadow of the castle but I still make it home everyday and the occassional poison the Folquins cook for what they call family dinner, should buy Tredow a cook book instead of smuggling his ciggaretes, as if Laila does not smell it, normal antics of a normal life.

And know what, I like this normal life I fought I killed I defended I schemed I tortured I went to the edges of the core and in between and survived, I burned all my bridges in the process but I’m alive beyond all odds.

I will enjoy the remainder of my now more simpler life, I do regret that even if Eugen was no longer a friend as we once where and if he indeed is dead that I got no grave to pay my last respects to, nor that he can be buried like a proper soldier, he played the game and paid the price with a higher cost then he should have.
I simply quit playing these little chess games, I never thought that it was an option simply not make a move when it is your turn this game is on an endless pause.

[dutchy]

Ignorance is a bliss, or is it???

Here I am doing day to day job I keep the village safe from any harm, I have dinner with my dear friends who by now are family lilly even calls me uncle she grows up so fast.
Liala wants me to teach her the laws and the reprocutions, am not sure that is a wise plan to corrupt a child this young afterall I have to be honest, that and tredow would step in if I told something false and that would undermine what I try.

I think they are ready or already into second child but they both act like their noses are bleeding it is a way cute to see to watch the realms most deadly assassin and the most competent former vardo captain twist and turn truths when it is so obvious, afterall I do this for a living they seem to forget it.

then there is my old worry my….no our problem we all know we get to deal with once more, the gentlemen caller, the question is will we deal with him again, will it be a problem when we are dead or will it be a problem while we are old? I think the latter he will return before we kicked the bucket as the outlanders call it.
the gentleman caller locked in some dagger cause she refused to destroy it and obviously what happends afterwards shown what state of mind she was already in, then there is the cat and the grey wizard.

I cannot shake the feeling that one of these day’s some young outlander comes to me asking me are you Mihas Mandruleanu who stood with the grey wizard the cat and the Folquins against a danger unknown to this realm.
what do I say?
nu I am just another soldier in the counts army?
da I am he, who fought the caller off?

I said this many times before I am getting to old for these things it has been a long long time since I stepped foot outside the village, by iadul I even have some sort of family now I am an uncle now that must count for something, it would be wrong to go after such things……..then again the caller if he wins who is left to stop him, nobody but us, but he would anticipate it, even better he would hope for it to exact his revenge for us cause that is simply the type of being he is.

Caller if you interrupt my blissfull existence know this I will end yours, I promise this as a soldier.

[dutchy]

Truth enlightens the mind, but won't always bring happiness to your heart.

Seven years since i last opened this book, seven years passed.
Honesty,loyalty, where those my virtues?
or
self perseverance,tenacity.

Had a nightmare  again, several actually, i lied to myself i see how we let serafim die, had to live with it as with every single sin done, problem is i can nu.
nu longer a lamp lighter nu longer a guard, and writing the count again for leniency will mean this time an agent will come to slit my throat, nu is best that castle is left alone.
am restless am a failure, death would have been kinder maybe this is why i survived and they didn't, unu big cruel joke.
It's time to sharpen my blade again grab the bow an shield, there must be something to kill out there.

[dutchy]

Don't rub the lamp, the genie might actually grant your nightmare.

Has been weeks since i set out again from the village, at first i tried to find work in the port.
met some intresting people there, but being a barovian is nu something they wish for during peacefull times, funny that my application's and options grew as the region again turned unstable.
i choose to leave and head back home instead, i mean how angry could she still be after all these years?

Also my worst nightmare came to pass.
he lives he is free and is redoing what he did.
the machine
the war
the pulling of strings like a puppet master, the caller, the iadul caller, we...i lost everything to that thing, only unu old ally remained, it has been informed, if i am needed am sure i will be called upon, other then that i might steer clear for a change, i nu see how to survive this time without the old faithfulls, da we had our issues, many issues even but when push came to shove we each knew our roles like some large disfunctional family that dealt with said treat and afterwards got back to bickering with death treats to follow.
I find myself missing them as i grow older, the world is barren without them, shamefull most nu know what they did for them to be there to enjoy it.

On a brighter note i did started to deal with the Adamachi family, who knows they might be bun enough to stick around with, for now they peeked my intrest, in a way it feels oddly familiar as if it is a home coming.
should make sure i nu get to attached, people die, and this logbook is full of those who died.