Month 11, Day 20
If you are reading this, then I am likely dead, and my secret discovered. Although writing my thoughts on paper is nu my way, and dangerous, I have felt the need to do so at this point, due to certain changes in my life at present. Perhaps it is for the sake posterity, or perhaps so that at least unu person, perhaps yourself, will come to understand my motives. Truly, it pains me to think that unu day my own countrymen will think ill of me, despite my unwaivering conviction and loyalty to Barovia.
I suppose I should explain who I once was, before I begin to write of what I am becoming. I had come to Vallaki from the Village of Barovia, to join the Vallaki Garda as my father had done. I was proud to serve the Count, and be part of something great, as well as perform duties that others wouldn't, or couldn't, perfom in the defense of my fellow Barovians. That endeavor was nu entirely successful. I had never been so exposed to the outlanders, and I saw them quickly for what they were; a vile plague which threatened to destroy our culture, as well as our livlihood. I have seen the outlanders live in luxury, as my people live in squalor. I have seen the outlanders insult Barovia and its people with nu consequence. I have seen them prey upon our women, and our women fall into the arms of outlander scum of their own will. I have seen them corrupt our lands with vile witchcraft. I have seen them stir up the creatures of the night, which inevitably prey upon my countrymen. I have seen them lie, cheat, murder, and steal, seemingly without consequence. Despite the grievous nature of all these things, perhaps it pales in comparison to the unu thing that seems to pain me most; I have seen nu solidarity amongst my people. If Barovians do not stand as unu, the outlanders will eventually corrupt our lands and our way of life.
Having witnessed the dire state of affairs within Vallaki, I had set out to do more than required of me. Not only did I intend to uphold our laws, but I wished to uphold our traditions as well, and see that the outlander presence was at least reigned in. I had pursued this endeavor with conviction, but I was only unu man, and had often been forced to patrol the Western Outskirts of Vallaki alone, as manpower seems to be a problem within the Garda. While nu entirely successful, and perhaps even a complete failure, I had vowed to do more than just hood checks or chasing off a bold caliban. As I have written, I was only unu man, outnumbered and overpowered by the vile witchcraft of the outlanders. I had been forced to increasingly deal with outlanders, and unfortunately, to depend upon them in the execution of my goals. Unu of my goals was to make examples of some of the greatest offenders, as the lack of consequences they had received had only served to embolden the others. The outlanders, in their arrogance, rarely seemed to wish to swallow their undeseved pride and comply with our laws. Indeed, a routine hood check could easily turn into violence, and this is what I had to endure every day in my duties to Barovia. Despite the weight that seemed to rest upon my shoulders, I carried on.
I had continued as such, implementing smaller goals and pursuing specific offenders, until I had been dismissed from the Garda. Myself and another Garda had "taxed" an outlander merchant stall. We had felt that the outlanders should at least give back to the coffers of Vallaki, considering that they made their wealth upon the broken backs of Barovian citizens. However, this incident seemed to be my undoing, at the time. It seems that a particular Ezrite cultist, who had once before claimed that I was corrupt and had been collecting fines for my own gain, had managed to gain an audience with the Burgomaster. It is important to note, that I had recorded every fang ever collected, and had only used as much as was allowed for the maintenance of equipment and bounties. Indeed, I had turned in a sum of over 17,000 fangs to the Corporal who had overseen my dismissal. In any case, the Burgomaster, for some reason decided to side against myself and the other Garda. We had been dismissed, and told by the Corporal that we had narrowly evaded execution.
While I was certainly disheartened over my dismissal, there were some things that bothered me more. With that event, it seemed as though the outlanders enjoyed the same rights as our people, nu...more! The dirty outlander vagrants nu even pay the taxes that our own people pay, so my actions within the Garda could nu be against the Count. Perhaps more worrisome, and it is dangerous for me to even write such, is that the Dilisniya Poisoners had the ear of the Burgomaster himself. To think that Ezrite cultists would have more weight in Vallaki than the Garda is an affront to Barovia. I do nu trust the Ezrite cultists, and I believe that they should be dealt with, from the shadows if need be.
It was at this moment, however, that my life had changed, which is what prompted me to write this journal. With hardly any fangs to my name, and disgraced by my dismissal from the Garda, I had desperately accepted the offer of service to a fey elf witch by the name of Nara'ia Goldflame. I had to endure much public shame due to this, but it is important to note that she had at least aided the Garda many times in the past, and was even under its protection. Perhaps I used the reason that she was a sanctioned witch of sorts, to excuse the fact that I was in the employ of an outlander, fey, and witch, all trei of which can nu be denied. Da, it was an embarassment to me, but at the same time, this chance event has irrecoverably changed my life.
During my time as a merchant under her, I had done many things which my people would nu understand. I have walked shoulder to shoulder with the very outlanders that I'd see gone from Barovia. Indeed, in some ways, I had acted as outlanders do, after a fashion, despite the fact that the conviction of my past goals still dwell within my heart. However, my current situation is more grievous still. During my employment under Nara'ia, it seems that she is more than unu who pays me fangs so that I may eat and clothe myself. Perhaps it is damning to admit, but she has become my friend, and unu of the only people I know who I can trust fully. While I despise witchcraft, it seemed that she only used if for bun purpose, and I did nu fear her when she used it, after she had aided me many times. Nu, I should nu bother trying to keep secrets in my writings, or its integrity will be lost. Besides, if you are reading this, I am likely already in the grave. I had written that Nara'ia is my friend, but in truth I find myself glancing at her longer, or more often, than necessary in our interactions. It worries me that there seems to have been some who have noticed such, but I hope she has nu noticed, or it might change the most damning thing about myself; I have now become an apprentice to her, to learn the very witchcraft that I despise. I loathe myself at times for all of the things that I have admitted, but I feel the only way to match the outlanders at this point, is to harness the same methods that they are willing to use. Again, it pains me to admit these things, but it is the truth; however, my loyalty to the Count, Barovia, and to my countrymen is unwaivering. If I must walk as an outlander in order to perform my duties, then I shall pay that price. It is a dangerous endeavor, as I have been invited to serve in the Garda once again. Could I really perform my duties as a Garda during the day, as well as studying witchcraft under Nara'ia at night, all while thinking forbidden thoughts of her? How long could I keep such a game up, until it all falls apart?
For the Count and Barovia!
-Dragomir Korzha